Thursday Night Impact LD For 5/20

[Turd Ferguson]

Here are tonight's confirmed TNA iMPACT! matches:

* Kurt Angle Returns
* Abyss Claims Chelsea For 30-Days
* The New Top 10 Rankings Are Revealed
* Non-Title Match: Madison Rayne © vs. Roxxi
* TNA Global Title Match: Rob Terry © vs. Orlando Jordan
* Eric Young vs. Shannon Moore
* TNA X-Division Rankings Battle Royal
* Rob Van Dam and Jay Lethal vs. Beer Money
* Sting vs. Jeff Hardy

 

[Tiger Chaos Theory]

I'm boycotting TNA until Abyss either dies or they let Wolfe beat him at least once.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Don't make me infract you for some made up reason, Tiger. I'll do it! But seriously... this shouldn't be too bad.

 

[Thriller Ant]

No one else here?

 

[Thriller Ant]

There were a few boos there for Abyss

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

I iz here!

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Who is the new Mrs. Lariat with the glasses and heaving breasts?

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

No Angle? It's true.

 

[Thriller Ant]

The former Brooke Adams. She has scary ripped abs

 

[ZeroVX]

So they're actually going to follow through with RVD VS Sting? Good.

But....Samoa Joe UNDER Rob Terry?!

FUCK THAT.

 

[Thriller Ant]

Who is the new Mrs. Lariat with the glasses and heaving breasts?

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I wonder if Jeff Hardy has lifted a weight....like, ever

 

[Mighty NorCal]

thats brooke from extreme expose. My favorite all time diva

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Love how Sting just didn't even go with the Twist of fate.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

thats brooke from extreme expose. My favorite all time diva

I can see why. Talk about ripped fuel. She's better than a treadmill as far as burning calories. HOT DAMN!

 

[ZeroVX]

Wow, Over The Limit commercial on TNA.

That says something. Don't know what, though.

 

[ZeroVX]

Roxxi's back?

Again?

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Ok... so we have Jeremy Borash doing ring announcing? Umm...

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Who in the bejesus is this gal?


OH!!! ONE OF MY WIVES!!! MADISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON RAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYNNNNNNEE

Fuck it. Ill keep the spirit of David Penzer alive

OH MOTHERFUCKING CAMERA MAN YOU MISSED THE SECOND ROPE GRIND

 

[ZeroVX]

Hey look, Gregory Helms is in the audience.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Welp, I will say that TNA has the much hotter womens roster.

Those hambeasts they hired are outliers.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Hey look, Gregory Helms is in the audience.

So is Matt Hardy. He's wearing a white t-shirt in the front row.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Holy crap, that was pretty much the sexiest pin of all time

 

[ZeroVX]

No, JB, it's "Professional Wrestling's Only Olympic Gold Medalist".

Emphasis on ONLY.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Angles music makes me want to thrash motherfuckers