Memoirs of a WrestleZone Moderator by Uncle Sam

[Y 2 Jake]

It's definately more than Jesus ever said in English.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Seeing as I'm coming up with numerical lists, I suddenly feel in the mood to write something about The Canadian.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Little known fact, I picked him to replace Jonny because I thought it'd annoy people who'd been mods for ages.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Little known fact, I picked him to replace Jonny because I thought it'd annoy people who'd been mods for ages.

I said that to Luther through the PM system. Not at the time. Recently. You know, Luther hardly ever replies to my PMs.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'm going to stop numbering these. Makes it easier for, well, me to keep up.

Mini-Chapter:
Award Season and Why I Am Cry
​

Name WrestleZone's 2007 Tag Team of the Year. Better yet, name everyone's favourite rookie poster of 2008. Sure, you could look it up - and some of you might even have been lame enough to be one of 2008's favourite posters - but you don't remember. Why? Well, for once, it's not because you're all sad bastards that spend too much time on your computer (much like me, before you get all offended). It's because it's a bit of fun that nobody really cares about once it's over and done with.

Wanna know how many awards I've won? I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in the region of one. That was when me and FTS won that tag team tournament. I'm sure it qualifies as an award. Sure, we actually got defeated during the tournament and then Luther deeply upset me when he tried to screw me out of my hard won award by posting something about a Money in the Bank case - which I believe I've since edited out - but damn it, it's deeply meaningful to me. Deeply meaningful.

So, the lesson here is that every time you vote for someone else in the WZ tournament, I die a little more inside.

 

[Kanye South]

Sam, you make sigs right?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Yes.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'm back after the Christmas, uh, 'rush'. I need ideas for the next proper chapter. I was going to do one on being TNA Moderator but who really cares?

Also, has anyone seen Jake?

 

[gd]

Apparently he's on "ALL-THE-FUCKING-TIME", but that seems like an exaggeration.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I saw him yesterday. I would suggest a chapter, but as I've not been reading the rest of the thread I'd probably suggest something that's already been done.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Not much has been done. Take a shot in the dark.

 

[Father:_Polley]

I suggest your support of Samoa Joe as a chapter.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

You could do one on mine & Luther's rivalry. Like everything else it was a non-event and you/me don't really know/remember what happened.

 

[Uncle Sam]

There were three bar rooms. Possibly. I can stretch that into a few thousand words.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

You could talk about the Jake & Luther Bar Rooms. Or that mystery room we had.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

No, misfit room.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

No wait, mischief.

 

[Uncle Sam]

That be the one.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Great times, or possibly time.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Being TNA Moderator
Sorry, it had to be done.​

"Sam," they say, "you're unquestionably the greatest TNA moderator of all-time. You're so good, in fact, that when you inevitably write your memoirs, you should start with an assessment of all other TNA moderators." I'm here to fulfil those dreams. I only remember three, so let the record state that there only ever were three other TNA moderators.

Remember, if you're a decent-to-good poster and you set your sights low enough, you too can one day become TNA moderator. Who knows; you might inexplicably end up as global moderator. Perhaps all the other G-Mods will be promoted or retire, allowing you the worthless honour of being "Senior G-Mod." Yeah, I'm living the fucking dream. Anyway:

DJ Martyn
I don't remember DJ Martyn. Does any remember DJ Martyn? I think it was actually Dj Martyn. You'd think that for the post of TNA mod, you'd at least have to have the acronyms in your names correctly capitalised. I won't lie; I saw Dj Martyn as a rival. An arch-rival. A rival that was hardly ever on and ended up going about four months without doing anything but merging a thread. Jake finally went through the mod logs one day and noticed this, de-modding Mr. Martyn and making way for one Mr. Sam. Of course, we already know of that:

Jake: DJ Martyn's a shit mod, anyone wanna take over TNA?

Sam: Oooh, me Jake! Me! Here is a long list of reasons why I'm the best man for the job: [Long list of reasons, immaculately explained]

Jake: OK, go nuts.

Sam: Now I can start making a fucking ton of threads in that section - something which no other new mod has or ever will do.

Anyway, due to his inactivity I don't remember if Martyn had a personality of any kind. I can't remember one post or thread of his, nor can I remember even if he ever even made a thread or post. I don't even want to bother using the search function. Martyn doesn't deserve it. Fuck that.

Sparky
Or it might have been Spunky. There's the slightest possibility it was Rusty, but I don't think it was. He was Australian, I think. I can't tell the difference between Elijah Burke and Orlando Jordon - fat chance I can tell the difference between posters.

In relation to the TNA sections, I said to Sparky (or whoever it was) "take care of her". Y'know, completely sincerely. ******** disappeared off the radar. We thought he was dead for a while. I think he came back. At least I hope he did, otherwise I'm going to look really callous.

Remember when that guy "pranked" us into thinking some guy had died of cancer? It was like that, only it was his internet connection that had died and not his sense of purpose in life.

NoFate/NSL
I put that because, despite the fact that I now can differentiate between NSL and NoFate (both start with "N's", both literate), I think NoFate might have actually been TNA mod for a while. Or was he WWE mod? Is he still a mod? I think he disappeared.

Anyway, NSL is doing a fine job. I mean, I don't know who he thinks he is, locking a merging my threads and whatnot, but otherwise he posts in every thread going. Like I did when I was a young moderator. Ah, those were the days. Again, living the dream.

Mr. Sam
Here's a list of the better threads I've made in the TNA section. No links, sorry - far too lazy to put in URL tags:

Huh. Looks like they've all been archived. For fuck's sake.

Fuck this.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Hurry up and retire. I want to be senior G-mod.

 

[Uncle Sam]

That's the only reason I never will. Not until you're in the cold, hard ground.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Do you hate me that much?

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

Do you hate me that much?

I don't know. You do love Uggs

 

[Uncle Sam]

For the purposes of appearances, yes. I can't have people thinking I'm a conformist.