Memoirs of a Moderator, Part Deux - By Uncle Sam

[The Insano Shiekh]

http://www.myspace.com/brokenastarte

Holy shit, how long does her "About Me" page go on...

 

[Dave]

She does have great tits, Jake.

 

[Uncle Sam]

TNA
Good Wrestling To Bad Wrestling - Cross The Line​

Seeing as I never plan to go to that section again due to its population being a bunch of - shit, can I bring myself say it? - m-m-m-maaa-markkkss (that was a struggle; hate that word) I thought I'd have one final post on the subject before walking away from it forever. So, brace yourselves for another stream of consciousness on an arbitrary subject.

Now, people will tell you I have nothing nice to say about TNA. Firstly, this is fundamentally untrue. I'm probably the longest existing TNA fan on this site - so, y'know, stick that one right up your arse. Secondly, as I have stated time and time again, I'll say something nice when I see something nice. Thirdly, I've probably contributed the most overall money to TNA of anyone on this site. If anyone has the right to complain about it, it's me.

Here is a fact to get us started off: TNA is bad. In terms of quality, it is poor. As a wrestling promotion, it is definitively not good. This has not always been the case - there have been rare peaks among the deep, deep troughs - and, I think, won't always be the case either. Much as I would savour watching the piece of shit wither and die.

Two major peaks I can think of off the top of my head. 2005-2006 - ending a few months or so after the BFG main event. Essentially, this was the time that the likes of Styles, Daniels, Joe were putting on great matches. The main event was an extra. Unbreakable 2005, you cunt.

The second peak was just recently. The month or so before the Hogan takeover. This was when the Angle/Wolfe and Styles/Daniels feuds were going on. Good feuds, good matches. Not stone cold classics, but there was a basis there. Hogan comes in, Wolfe's girlfriend is raped by Abyss, Daniels jobs to Val Venis and ends up outside the company after seven years being inside. Kane, consider yourself lucky - that's how TNA rewards loyalty.

These days, TNA is perhaps more of a mess than it has ever been. And it's been a mess before. Sweet Jesus, I should know. I mean, look at Kaz.

Kaz. Not much special about him. Not much at all. Inexplicably pushed, inexplicably popular. Gets pushed. Gets put over. Gets title shots. Takes time off, comes back as Suicide. Erm, genius.

Hernandez. I quite like him. Repackaged as a flamboyant club rep, far as I can tell. Gets title shot. Cashes in title shot - rather ingeniously - in a fatal fourway. Surprisingly, doesn't win the belt.

MCMG. I wait three+ years to see them win the titles - during which, Lethal Consequences and a multitude of other joke teams win the belts - and, when they finally do win the titles, I say it's too late and get called overly critical by a bunch of m-m-m-massive *****.

AJ Styles. Heel turn. Face turn. Heel turn. Face turn. Heel turn. Face turn. Married to Karen Angle. Ric Flair.

Samoa Joe. Remember when he used to beat everyone? Of course not - I don't even remember that time he got kidnapped.

Matt Morgan. Well, he's just plain gash.

The only thing TNA does well is house shows. Luckily, that's what wrestling's all about, right?

All that said, I'm optimistic about TNA's future. If Paul Heyman signs, that is. Judging from - albeit completely unreliable internet reports - Heyman has a consistent, long term vision for the company. His plan, apparently, is to make TNA "not absolute shit." If only they'd thought of that sooner.

 

[Coco]

Heyman... Right. I mean I'm sure Dixie wants to get around to it, as he's worked in the WWE before. A hot property if I've ever seen one. But she would need to cross Hogan and Bischoff to make it work, while convincing Heyman to go back to what he feels is a near dead industry over staying with his friend Brock and working on whatever they're cooking up. Dixie doesn't have the chops. Even if she does, she's not dumping Russo. She understands what both of the Fs in "BFF" stand for. So TNA won't get too much better.

Anyway, IDR will probably see this as you going down a mighty long road just to take a shot at him. Taking notes from my "Sig Me" thread, I see. Sam only borrows from the best. -- and, now, people who use the word "mark" as well

 

[Uncle Sam]

I just saw "The Miz vs. Mr. Anderson" thread and thought "Wow, what a bunch of dicks."

Lot of speech marks there.

 

[DirtyJosé]

Long time listener, first time caller.

The best I've seen of MCMG is when they are allowed out here in PWG. And that's not because PWG is amazing or anything like that at all.

Hernandez could be making them so much money. Instead, Stuttering Matt Morgan is pushed as Sid Vicious 2.0.5. There is not much worse than plain gash.

 

[gd]

Needed more about how shit Sting is.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Yeah, but my thoughts on Sting are one of my areas which is composed almost completely of Y 2 Jake posts. "The highlight of his career was standing around in the rafters", etc. etc.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

That's basically about right. Sting is crap. He Vader series was good, but Vader matches were awesome back then.

 

[Барбоса]

Superhero Sting was a weak version of '80s Hogan, while Crow Sting was a weak Deadman Undertaker

 

[Uncle Sam]

I think this thread needs what any good autobiography needs - a pictures section. Not of me, obviously. Of random household objects. I just need to get round to putting more batteries in my camera. First up, my steak knives.

 

[DirtyJosé]

I've always wondered what kind of utensils you keep around, Sam. Can't wait!

 

[Uncle Sam]

And one more thing about TNA - I never understood how a pre-recorded show could have such badly placed ad breaks.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

And one more thing about TNA - I never understood how a pre-recorded show could have such badly placed ad breaks.

Spontaneity. I love TNA's fake Live/anything can happen style.