Memoirs of a WrestleZone Moderator by Uncle Sam

[Bernkastel]

I remember Hot Damn vaguely. I remember the bar room being deleted too.

the horrors of betting against John Cena

 

[Uncle Sam]

I knew I was doomed as soon as Orton started dominating the match.

With headlock after headlock.

 

[Lee]

I love the new addition to the sig

 

[gd]

Just saw that now.

 

[Mr. TM]

I cant wait to see your thoughts on the time you wanted to move to Vancouver.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'm moving to Vancouver. One day. Or maybe I'll just go there on holiday.

Probably the latter.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Chapter Two:
My Vague Recollection of "The Prax Incident"​

Prax. Prax, Prax, Prax. You all remember Prax, right? I sure do. For nigh on six months we were inseparable. We joked around, made other posters look silly (rumour has it that we actually made Xfear cry on one occasion) and we even went e-fedding together - we were like brothers. And then Jonny, for no other reason than to get back at me for publicly humiliating him with the aforementioned Shelton Benjamin incident, decided to ban him. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I was the one that got banned...

OK, so none of that is actually true. But it could be. The fact of the matter is I don't think me and Prax ever actually talked. He was too far up his own a... ivory tower to notice the little people like me. He was probably too busy e-fedding and breaking Jonny's heart as well.

At this point, I'm just an innocent little poster. I'll pop in from time to time, poke my head in and probably say something about Randy Orton (in bold, obviously) and then toddle off again. I could go weeks, at one point months, without posting. But anyway, one day I pop my head in and all hell has broken loose. It's like the apocalypse had taken place. To supply you with a balanced view of the events, here's what Prax had to say:

As I was typing this I realised that I can't actually tell you what Prax had to say. To do so, I would have to break the oath that we all take when made moderators to not share anything that is not available to the general members - that includes posts made in WZCW creative control. A shame too, because it really was a fascinating read. I'll summarise it for you.

Jonny: Hey Prax, what's going on?

Prax: Oh hey Jonny - I'm doing something to the e-fed.

Jonny: Don't do that. Let's discuss it on MSN first.

[MSN Conversation]

Prax: Yeah, Jonny kicked me off the staff. What a douche. I'll never RP as Northern Lights again out of principle [actual quote].

Jonny: How dare you deprive the good people of WrestleZone of your Northern Lights character. You are so banned.

Ticked Off Texan: Noooo, Prax! Why Jonny, why!? You screwed P***!

Jonny: Yeah, you're banned too. Or, y'know, imprisoned and that.

Ticked Off Texan: You can't keep the proletariat down forever, Jonny. One day we'll rise up as one and overthrow you.

Jake:

And that's how it happened.

This is the closest the site has ever come to tearing itself down the middle. The amount of people that fled Tsarist Russia - sorry, WrestleZone - to start a new life on clone sites may have even been as high as eight.

But there was one real tragedy here. Ticked off Texan got imprisoned. To this day, he is still in prison. I might start a petition to get him released. Such is my love for Texans of the ticked off variety that I even wrote the man a short poem. I never posted it... until now:

O Ticked Off Texan,
Your name makes me wanna have sex'an,
Jonny put you in prison,
But like Jesus you've risen,
And I love you,
Oh yes, I love you

I think it's some of my best work. He just had a way with words that would make your heart beat a mile a minute. For example:

Well, Jake It's just a little bit of harmless fun and anyone that doesn't know what happened won't even know what it's about, your the only one who brought up his name since the sig's started. And I don't see why we shouldn't be allowed to have them, we miss this guy and I don't see any reason for you to ban him, Prax was always a good mod and poster so one disagreement it going to get someone de-modded then banned. That's what fourms are for .. debate and fun that's all we were doing just having some fun. And the way I see it if someones going to be banned over an argument with an admin then you and Jonny are just power hungry peices of shit. I know I'll probaly be banned for saying that but fuck it. And fuck you and Jonny too. I'll miss everyone else, from RVDgurl to Colamania even Sly. But seriously if someone can't voice an oppioion then what's this thread good for, kissing your ass? Cuz seriously some of us are getting sick of it. Just remember that when this board burns in hell with you and Jonny Bitch-fit.


And why were you bitching about someone on SES bringing up their personal life and then when Jonny does it it's perfectly fine?

And for all the loyal friends of Prax and Myself we say Have a nice Day

Thank You

The P*** screwjob must not be spoken of, for if it is great punishment lies with in, so only those who know of it will know sorry.

The Prax incident marked the end of an era on WrestleZone. Seeing an opportunity to slither my way up the ranks, I stayed loyal to the Tsar Jonny (despite what my heart told me). I openly mocked the freedom fighters prisoners - even though a day doesn't go past where I wish hadn't followed them to the promised land of BustedQuad - and demonstrated that I was literate. Following a PM from Jonny, I made the ultimate sacrifice - I stopped posting in bold. And it was then that I was invited into the upper echelons of WrestleZone society, to rub elbows with the likes of Jake and, um, AJ and make jokes about ejaculating onto keyboards in... the VIP room.

Edit: Oh, and Prax briefly returned as a prisoner: http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?t=23694

Next Chapter:
The VIP Room
Or how I learned to love pornographic photographs that were eventually banned because of that twat Colamania​

 

[Nitafrong]

I still don't get why there is all this privacy about Mod dealings but I suppose you boys always have to have your little private members clubs

I prefer your story on the incident but its not to be. I suppose really at the end of the day only Prax and Jonney really know. Is the big Prax war the reason Jonney isn't here anymore? And yeah, was that message the reason Ticked off Texan was banned? Seems a bit unfair.

And yeah I vaugely remember Colomania- can't remember any specifics bar he was a CM punk fan or something. Or maybe someone teased him about it.

 

[gd]

Quite intriguing.

 

[Coco]

Man, WZ just doesn't have bad blood like it used to.

Fucking noobs.

 

[Super Crazy]

These memoirs have garnered my attention. They are actually a good read.

 

[TLC]

These are pretty interesting to read actually.

 

[X]

That's a rather shoddy retelling of the Prax incident. Save the stories for those of us that were mods in our ivory towers at the time damnit.

 

[Kanye South]

I wish we had people like that on the forums these days...

 

[Blade]

I wish we had people like that on the forums these days...

Well, we have Sid. Is that not good enough for you?

 

[Kanye South]

Well, we have Sid. Is that not good enough for you?

Sid is nothing compared to what I've heard about the Prax/Jonny/Spawn/Jake era.

 

[Blade]

Then why don't you stir shit up?

 

[Kanye South]

Then why don't you stir shit up?

We all know what happened last time I tried that...

 

[Coco]

Don't believe what you hear. The old-timers like to over-embellish the past.

 

[X]

Don't believe what you hear. The old-timers like to over-embellish the past.

Shut up Derf.

I'd call you Abyss but you're too much of a newfie to get that.

 

[Kanye South]

We should have a day where we give all our most famous banned posters clemency.

 

[Uncle Sam]

That's a rather shoddy retelling of the Prax incident. Save the stories for those of us that were mods in our ivory towers at the time damnit.

I didn't really pay attention at the time. Feel free to enlighten us.

 

[X]

It's all in the Board Room. You could have searched for it lazycat.

 

[Uncle Sam]

It's all in the Board Room. You could have searched for it lazycat.

I did, but I was bound by the 2009 Secrecy Act.

 

[FromTheSouth]

I looked for it. I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.