The Ultimate Fantasy Mock Draft V.
- Thread starter Colamania
- Start date
...Waaaaaah? I was simply reading this thread when I came across this.
Mr. Samwise Gamgee, I must disagree about Austin being a bad heel. Austin was a fantastic heel. I mean fantastic. His work in the Hollywood Blondes alone sold me on his heel ability, and the only reason he was ever turned face was because people started to love that he was an asshole to everybody. But even his later heel turn with the Alliance was gold as well, certainly he was still cheered by some of the crowds, how couldn't he be? He's Stone Cold. But you can't deny he was rather hated, and his promos were pretty fantastic. Hell, thats what started the whole "What?" phrase. Remember when he punished Taz in the middle of the ring? One of the most legit badasses in wrestling history getting whipped by Austin's belt? That was classic in my book.
I think I smell a debate brewing...
What? No, where did you get that from? You've gotta wait until it gets back down to you. That's why being first or last is both an advantage (you get 2 picks at once) and a disadvantage (you have to wait for a while). So, you're up after MattMoses's next pick.
STONE COLD EMBARRASSES BISCHOFF: PART 1:
We see a restaurant, small, well lit, well decorated and filled out with couples. Soft romantic violin plays. Cut to a table where Eric Bischoff and a lady are sitting enjoying a glass of champagne and about to tuck into a meal.
BISCHOFF: So I said to him, Disco Inferno your ideas stink so bad they make Vince Russo look like a genius.
(It is clear the “joke” went right over the young lady’s head.)
Bischoff now tucks into his meal and spits it out all over the lady! “THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE!! THIS IS AS BAD AS ERNEST “THE CAT” MILLERS COMEDY!!! WAITER?”
Waiter: Yes Mr Bischoff?
Bischoff: This stuff is terrible! I demand a refund! Let me see the chef!!
Waiter: (looking nervous) what seems to be the problem?
Bischoff: This soup it’s, it’s absolutely -
Steve Austin: (coming out from the kitchen) STONE COLD! IT’S STONE COLD!
Austin picks up a tray and cracks Bischoff over the head, the whole restaurant is cheering as Austin begins a hilarious beat down, “you think my soups bad, well just wait ‘til you try a stone cold Steve Austin can of ass whooping.” Etc
We see a restaurant, small, well lit, well decorated and filled out with couples. Soft romantic violin plays. Cut to a table where Eric Bischoff and a lady are sitting enjoying a glass of champagne and about to tuck into a meal.
BISCHOFF: So I said to him, Disco Inferno your ideas stink so bad they make Vince Russo look like a genius.
(It is clear the “joke” went right over the young lady’s head.)
Bischoff now tucks into his meal and spits it out all over the lady! “THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE!! THIS IS AS BAD AS ERNEST “THE CAT” MILLERS COMEDY!!! WAITER?”
Waiter: Yes Mr Bischoff?
Bischoff: This stuff is terrible! I demand a refund! Let me see the chef!!
Waiter: (looking nervous) what seems to be the problem?
Bischoff: This soup it’s, it’s absolutely -
Steve Austin: (coming out from the kitchen) STONE COLD! IT’S STONE COLD!
Austin picks up a tray and cracks Bischoff over the head, the whole restaurant is cheering as Austin begins a hilarious beat down, “you think my soups bad, well just wait ‘til you try a stone cold Steve Austin can of ass whooping.” Etc
Stone Cold Embarrasses Bischoff PART 2
Bischoff is in an interview on a sports news programme.
Interviewer: Mr Bischoff I am delighted to tell you that your first show managed to get some unexpectedly high numbers for a debut show? Why do you feel this is?
Mr Bischoff: Let me tell you why, they obviously saw the name Bischoff on the card. You can draft who you want but I am without a doubt one of the biggest draws in wrestling!
Interviewer: oh hmm, right… so… anything in mind for future shows?
Mr Bischoff: I am going to finally show Austin that he’s met his match, that he isn’t the major player he thinks he is. Me and that bastard, can I say bastard? (Interviewer- No not-) Sure I can I’m Eric Bischoff. Me and that bastard stone cold had a well documented confrontation at a café and I just like to tell the world that Stone cold may have made other, how shall I put this, mediocre owners his play thing in the past. But I feel confident that I can bring the rattlesnake to his knees.
Interviewer: Mr Bischoff! I have just got word through that none other than stone cold is on the-
Stone cold (over phone): Bischoff! Bischoff! Austin 3: 16 says this is the damndest most boring interview I think I ever heard! (Bischoff attempts to interrupt-) NA –AH! You listen to the rattlesnake when he’s talking to you, you little bitch!
Bischoff: Now you listen to me you think your so big and bad ass speaking from the other end of a telephone, well you don’t scare me Mr Austin-
Stone Cold: Some one get ready to give me a god damn answer! IF YOU WANNA SEE AUSTIN COME OUT FROM NOWHERE AND KICK ERIC BISHOFFS ASS GIMME A HELL YEAH?
Interviewer (excited): OH HELL YEAH!
All of a sudden the sudden stone cold appears in the newsroom with a mobile in his hand.
Stone Cold: this just in sports fans, Eric Bischoff is about to get an ass kicking he will never forget!
Bischoff is in an interview on a sports news programme.
Interviewer: Mr Bischoff I am delighted to tell you that your first show managed to get some unexpectedly high numbers for a debut show? Why do you feel this is?
Mr Bischoff: Let me tell you why, they obviously saw the name Bischoff on the card. You can draft who you want but I am without a doubt one of the biggest draws in wrestling!
Interviewer: oh hmm, right… so… anything in mind for future shows?
Mr Bischoff: I am going to finally show Austin that he’s met his match, that he isn’t the major player he thinks he is. Me and that bastard, can I say bastard? (Interviewer- No not-) Sure I can I’m Eric Bischoff. Me and that bastard stone cold had a well documented confrontation at a café and I just like to tell the world that Stone cold may have made other, how shall I put this, mediocre owners his play thing in the past. But I feel confident that I can bring the rattlesnake to his knees.
Interviewer: Mr Bischoff! I have just got word through that none other than stone cold is on the-
Stone cold (over phone): Bischoff! Bischoff! Austin 3: 16 says this is the damndest most boring interview I think I ever heard! (Bischoff attempts to interrupt-) NA –AH! You listen to the rattlesnake when he’s talking to you, you little bitch!
Bischoff: Now you listen to me you think your so big and bad ass speaking from the other end of a telephone, well you don’t scare me Mr Austin-
Stone Cold: Some one get ready to give me a god damn answer! IF YOU WANNA SEE AUSTIN COME OUT FROM NOWHERE AND KICK ERIC BISHOFFS ASS GIMME A HELL YEAH?
Interviewer (excited): OH HELL YEAH!
All of a sudden the sudden stone cold appears in the newsroom with a mobile in his hand.
Stone Cold: this just in sports fans, Eric Bischoff is about to get an ass kicking he will never forget!
His heel turn was fantastic, probably the best one I've ever witnessed when it first happened. However, I always thought he was a weak heel, maybe just because you're constantly comparing it to his tweener/face work, which was some of th best ever. As a ruthless bastard member of the Power Trip, I came around a bit, but with the Game out... blah. Crowd reactions escape me, I'll have to look back at some of my 2001 DVDs.
Papa Shango
Frontman of the WZ Band!!
Jim Cornette appears on the screen:
"Alright, I'm gonna make this short and sweet. The next draft pick for the WFW is..."
"Duuuuuun... duuuuun... duuuuun....duuuuuun...
Your time is up, my time is now
You can't see me, my time is now
It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin' now
You can't see me, my time is now!"
Joooooooohn Ceeeeeeeenaaaaaa!!!
"Alright, I'm gonna make this short and sweet. The next draft pick for the WFW is..."
"Duuuuuun... duuuuun... duuuuun....duuuuuun...
Your time is up, my time is now
You can't see me, my time is now
It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin' now
You can't see me, my time is now!"
Joooooooohn Ceeeeeeeenaaaaaa!!!
UWE is back......Vince McMahon comes up on the titantron, he is prepared to announce his second draft choice. "It is with great pleasure that I announce my second draft choice, a man who I would consider the greatest third generation superstar of all time..." Before McMahon can continue, The Rock's music hits.
"Woh, woh, woh, woh, Vince, you must be confused, I know you are getting old, but come on man. You said your second pick is the grestest third generation superstar of all time, well Vince you dummie, you have already drafted The Rock."
Vince: "Yes Rock, I did say that my next pick is in my mind the greatest third generation superstar of all time, and no Rock it is not you.....My next pick is the youngest World Champion in WWE history, he is the Legend Killer, he is Randy Orton." Orton's music hits as the crowd breaks out in boo's......................................To Be Continued
UWE's second pick......Randy Orton
"Woh, woh, woh, woh, Vince, you must be confused, I know you are getting old, but come on man. You said your second pick is the grestest third generation superstar of all time, well Vince you dummie, you have already drafted The Rock."
Vince: "Yes Rock, I did say that my next pick is in my mind the greatest third generation superstar of all time, and no Rock it is not you.....My next pick is the youngest World Champion in WWE history, he is the Legend Killer, he is Randy Orton." Orton's music hits as the crowd breaks out in boo's......................................To Be Continued
UWE's second pick......Randy Orton
Papa Shango
Frontman of the WZ Band!!
I don't know if I'd have picked Orton this early in the draft, especially as the main antagonist for Rock. Rock would own Orton in every way. There's so many better heels in the history of wrestling to choose from. I think Rock vs. Papa Shango would have been fun to see.
Draft Table updated.
Hulk Hogan and John Cena? Really? I see you're going for the charisma aspect rather than the technical aspect. That's cool, could earn a fair amount of votes. It'll be interesting to see how this goes along.
And... god-dammit, I wanted Orton! Stop picking all my people!
See, this is why being first sucks, the wait time is terrible, by the time it gets back to you, all your guys are gone.
Hulk Hogan and John Cena? Really? I see you're going for the charisma aspect rather than the technical aspect. That's cool, could earn a fair amount of votes. It'll be interesting to see how this goes along.
And... god-dammit, I wanted Orton! Stop picking all my people!
See, this is why being first sucks, the wait time is terrible, by the time it gets back to you, all your guys are gone.
Papa Shango
Frontman of the WZ Band!!
Well that's because most people just pick thier favorite wrestlers. Trust me, if I was going by favorites I would have picked Edge. I'm picking up the ones that "draw", and look good with the rest of the roster. Angle/Hart looks like a main event, they're choices that complement each other. Same with Edge/HBK, though not to the same extent. Rock/Orton looks a little random. To let huge names like Hogan and Cena go that long undrafted is foolish. Though I am disappointed that I was unable to get HBK and Edge, who really high up on my list, but that just means I had to pick up Cena a little quicker. I needed someone who look good on the same card as Hogan, and Cena fits that bill. Had I picked Hart first, I probably wouldn't have picked either Cena or Hogan second, I probably would have gone with Angle, Taker, or HBK. And I've even got a few other guys lined up that fit well in the roster with Hogan and Cena. Although I have a feeling one of my picks will be gone bt the time it comes back around to me.
Now that I've already picked up two HUGE main eventers, I can start drafting superstars who draw both in the main event and the mid-card. Although I think I still need one more really, really big name...
Papa Shango.
Now that I've already picked up two HUGE main eventers, I can start drafting superstars who draw both in the main event and the mid-card. Although I think I still need one more really, really big name...
Papa Shango.
Papa Shango
Frontman of the WZ Band!!
Five more picks are gonna go my next turn. And I've got a horrible feeling that at least two of my desired picks are gonna be gone by the time it comes back around to me.
Gee, I really hope no one picks--
The Great Khali
Van Hammer
Zeus
Mark Henry
or Gillberg
I think I'd be willing to trade anyone of my picks to get those guys on my roster. Please noone take them.
Gee, I really hope no one picks--
The Great Khali
Van Hammer
Zeus
Mark Henry
or Gillberg
I think I'd be willing to trade anyone of my picks to get those guys on my roster. Please noone take them.