Memoirs of a WrestleZone Moderator
By Uncle Sam
By Uncle Sam
I get bored of a... actually, I'm generally always pretty bored. If I had an exciting life, do you really think I'd spend my time on here? So, while I arduously re-update my recently wiped iTunes library (the Ricky Gervais podcasts survived, miraculously) I've decided to give you all a treat by recounting my time here.
Chapter 1
A Bold Start
A Bold Start
Some things that you might not know, or remember, about my first few months on this site:
1) I was a massive Randy Orton mark. I'd forgotten this one myself. In fact, I'd defend him with ferocity:
It just goes on like that. I can't help but wonder if I starred out the fucks. I hope not. It was probably Jonny B. He did stuff like that.
Anyway, I even went so far as to say:
That one's sort of backfired.
2) I posted in bold. You see, WrestleZone at this time was a complete mess. It was only me and about four other posters that could even fucking spell or form a coherent thought. Though it was later revealed that this was more than enough to make me stand out, I decided to take it upon to myself to type out a well thought post and then rap it in tags. Y'know, so people would take notice.
I was looking forward to posting some examples of this but it would appear that the kindly Jonny went through them all and took out the bold. Again, he was like that. So I'll just pick some random posts and put them in bold so you get the idea.
3) I took everything deathly seriously. Reading back over my old posts is actually quite embarrassing. I really used to commit. Then again, Jake used to make serious posts as well. Every now and then I'll come across one. It's really rather disconcerting. I think once or twice he genuinely discussed his feelings on subjects with sincerity. Unsettling.
I don't really need to illustrate this, you've got enough examples above. Alright, just one:
Which leads me to number 4.
4) I used too many commas. Arguably still a problem today. I mean, it wasn't quite justinsayne level but it was getting there at times. Thus ends number four.
These times were like the dark ages of WZ. It's why our rules are so strict now. All the same, they were easily the most exciting. I say that but really, how exciting can a wrestling forum be? It's also a lie - other periods in WZ's extensive history are much more interesting.
It was basically just me and a handful of other posters tearing apart other people's arguments. I make that sound like an achievement. It really wasn't. Most people were, as has been mentioned, completely mentally deficient. I can't say anybody really stood out to me.
Eternal Dragon was my idol for a week or so. I don't think she noticed me, really. I wasn't even aware she was a girl.
It was around this time that Xfear, Prax, Jake and, uh, Jonny (?) formed WZ's original stable, Evolution. I think A.J. might have been involved too. Little did they know that it would all come crashing down with the P*** incident. But that's a topic for another time.
Me and Jonny didn't get off to the best of starts. I'm surprised he didn't ban me, to be honest. I posted the same Shelton Benjamin thread three times because the bastard kept closing it and telling me to post in the existing one a few pages back. I eventually decided to back off.
I make myself sound like the world's most famous poster at this point. I wasn't. I was as anonymous as, erm, all those posters that we have now are. You know, Sparky and Dingy and Robert - those guys.
I've often wondered what Luther was doing at this point. The Canadian and the Fox were elsewhere on the internet. The latter was busy flaming people on YouTube and the former was busy forming his current homoerotic relationship with D-Man, probably.
Next Chapter:
My Vague Recollection of "The Prax Incident"
The end of an era, how Jonny B became WZ's original villain and why I loved Ticked Off Texan
My Vague Recollection of "The Prax Incident"
The end of an era, how Jonny B became WZ's original villain and why I loved Ticked Off Texan
