Motaste Junk - Stop your brain thinking for 168 seconds

[Lee]

I forgot to watch the one show.

 

[Tastycles]

I'm genuinely surprised, though I'd need to know how high your expectations were to begin with.

I was hoping it would taste like food. A modest expectation, I'd say.

I forgot to watch the one show.

You missed Will Ferrell being utterly baffled by the concept of Morris dancing.

 

[Tastycles]

So, I'm in Starbucks, and you'll never guess who's in here. Actually, you probably will, she was here yesterday.

 

[Lee]

The hot woman who works there?

 

[Tastycles]

The hot woman who works there?

Yes. But also Alex Jones. I'm beginning to think she's following me.

 

[Tastycles]

This is getting fucking ridiculous now. 4th time in two days. I'm going to have to get a neck brace and start calling myself a calabrity superfan. A modern reference point there. Down. With. The. Kids. Alternatively I could just stop coming to this starbucks.

 

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

Alternatively I could just stop coming to this starbucks.

Please don't. This is the most interesting thing I've heard on WZ all week.

 

[Tastycles]

My course finishes tomorrow, so if she's there again I'll ask her why she is following me.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I tried to think of a joke that would tie your course and Alex Jones together. I just couldn't. I have a friend who used to work in Starbucks and I personally don't like coffee. Those are two things which are marginally relevant.

 

[Барбоса]

Victims of a cruel imperial invader who ruined their culture usually do club together. Why do you think the Irish abroad go to Irish pubs?

 

[Tastycles]

I was thinking about tweeting her to the effect of "I'm right next to you." Except in Welsh for the added creepy factor, but realised what a ridiculous error that would be.

 

[Lee]

Do it!

 

[Tastycles]

Do it yourself:

@MissAlexJones Rydw i'n eistedd nesaf i chi nawr mewn Starbucks. Dwi'n hoffi eich gwallt heddiw. Paid a galu'r heddlu os gwelwch yn dda.

I should point out that apart from a few texts to Bawww, that's the first time i've written Welsh for ten years, so there will defo be a lot of mistakes.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Yeah, uh, I noticed a few.

 

[Tastycles]

To save you fannying about on translators, it means:

"@MissAlexJones I'm sitting next to you in Starbucks. I like your hair today. Please don't call the police."

 

[Uncle Sam]

One wrong move and you're Jerry Lawler.

 

[Lee]

To save you fannying about on translators, it means:

"@MissAlexJones I'm sitting next to you in Starbucks. I like your hair today. Please don't call the police."

Genius!

 

[Tastycles]

I've just realised the folly of posting that.

 

[Lee]

Is she in today?

 

[Tastycles]

No, she wasn't there. Ah well, it was good while it lasted.

 

[Tastycles]

I might be going out with an mp, so expect tales of the ridiculous. For now, I am drunk on the tube. So drunk that I nearly put kisses on this post. Also, Can someone post a picture of alex so the americans understand? Xxx

 

[Lee]

Going out as in 'goign out' or as in going for a drink?

 

[Tastycles]

Home now. Got the wrong bus, had to walk through the council estate at 3 in the morning. bit of a shit really. Whilst out, I met a girl doing the same course I did at the same uni having the same misgivings I did. Then realised that made her 18 years old. Not a problem until you think "born 1993". I'll just marry Alex instead. She clearly wants to.

 

[Lee]

Haha brilliant!

 

[Tastycles]

Tastycles has a conversation with his boss.

What he means to say: "I'm going out with the girl I went out with when I was a teenager"
What he actually says: "I'm going out with my teenage girlfriend"