Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Y 2 Jake]

I've seen it twice, it's a turd.

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

I've seen it twice, it's a turd.

What's worse, the last 30 minutes of Ghostbusters or the last 30 minutes of Wrestlemania 25?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Well I've seen Ghostbusters twice and I've only watched Mania 25 the whole way through once, but I know for sure Ghostbusters is shit.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

★★ Ghostbusters, Ice Age: Collision Course, Youth, The BFG and Star Trek Beyond

Cinema 2016 peaked a while ago.

The BFG has one great scene and would be better if it was thirty minutes shorter, Youth has the cameo (nay, short role) of the year and Ice Age and Star Trek went in and out immediately.

 

[JGlass]

New Star Trek movie is okay. Very cool visually, pacing is meh, super corny... about what you've come to expect from the franchise.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

I'm going to see it on Monday. I've heard nothing but good things about it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Room ★★★★★
2. 10 Cloverfield Lane ★★★★
3. Anomalisa ★★★★
4. Creed ★★★★
5. The Revenant ★★★★
6. Everybody Wants Some!! ★★★★
7. The Hateful Eight ★★★★
8. The Witch ★★★★
9. Captain America: Civil War ★★★★
10. Green Room ★★★★
11. Bone Tomahawk ★★★★
12. The Nice Guys ★★★
13. Hail, Caesar! ★★★
14. Zootropolis ★★★
15. Spotlight ★★★
16. Deadpool ★★★
17. The Secret Life of Pets ★★★
18. Rams ★★★
19. Ghostbusters ★★★
20. The Survivalist ★★★
21. The Big Short ★★★
22. Star Trek Beyond ★★
23. The Jungle Book ★★
24. Goosebumps ★★
25. Eddie the Eagle ★★
26. High-Rise ★★
27. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★
28. X-Men Apocalypse ★
29. The Assassin ★

Yep, it's a Star Trek film alright. Seeing it on the biggest screen in Europe didn't improve it. One day I'll understand. One day there'll be an hour long episode of wanky space soap opera that I enjoy. You know, like I do Doctor Who.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Room ★★★★★
2. 10 Cloverfield Lane ★★★★
3. Anomalisa ★★★★
4. Creed ★★★★
5. The Revenant ★★★★
6. Everybody Wants Some!! ★★★★
7. The Hateful Eight ★★★★
8. The Witch ★★★★
9. Captain America: Civil War ★★★★
10. Green Room ★★★★
11. Bone Tomahawk ★★★★
12. Finding Dory ★★★
13. The Nice Guys ★★★
14. Hail, Caesar! ★★★
15. Zootropolis ★★★
16. Spotlight ★★★
17. Deadpool ★★★
18. The Secret Life of Pets ★★★
19. Rams ★★★
20. Ghostbusters ★★★
21. The Survivalist ★★★
22. The Big Short ★★★
23. Star Trek Beyond ★★
24. The Jungle Book ★★
25. Goosebumps ★★
26. Eddie the Eagle ★★
27. High-Rise ★★
28. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★
29. X-Men Apocalypse ★
30. The Assassin ★

Like a really good direct-to-DVD Disney sequel, like Lion King 3, or... no, I suppose that's it. You know who felt superfluous in this film? Nemo.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I got into a disagreement with a lady when I saw it because she took a newborn in with her that wouldn't stop screaming. I got refunded for three tickets. I have three Limitless cards, so this film made money.

 

[Uncle Sam]

That is tickety-boo.

1. Room ★★★★★
2. 10 Cloverfield Lane ★★★★
3. Anomalisa ★★★★
4. Creed ★★★★
5. The Revenant ★★★★
6. Everybody Wants Some!! ★★★★
7. The Hateful Eight ★★★★
8. The Witch ★★★★
9. Captain America: Civil War ★★★★
10. Green Room ★★★★
11. Bone Tomahawk ★★★★
12. Finding Dory ★★★
13. The Nice Guys ★★★
14. Hail, Caesar! ★★★
15. Zootropolis ★★★
16. Spotlight ★★★
17. Deadpool ★★★
18. The Secret Life of Pets ★★★
19. Rams ★★★
20. Ghostbusters ★★★
21. The Survivalist ★★★
22. The Big Short ★★★
23. Suicide Squad ★★★
24. Star Trek Beyond ★★
25. The Little Prince ★★
26. The Jungle Book ★★
27. Goosebumps ★★
28. Eddie the Eagle ★★
29. High-Rise ★★
30. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★
31. X-Men Apocalypse ★
32. The Assassin ★

I'm told children of narcissists will find The Little Prince upsetting. I think everybody else will find it unbelievably bland, though it's not totally without charm.

Suicide Squad: massively flawed but genuinely funny in places and, from an aesthetic point of view, pretty well realised.

 

[JGlass]

You think Deadpool and Suicide Squad are on par with each other?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Approximately, yeah. Don't make me break it into ten tiers, I refuse.

 

[Барбоса]

All the chat about Ghostbusters has finally convinced me to Ghostbusters a go...

The video game from about 6 years ago with all the original actors.

It's not a great game - looks fine enough with good voice acting from Ackroyd and Ramis but has very repetitive gameplay - but the story might have made a decent third movie with the original cast.

It ties together and expands on the stories of I + II in a logical way and with the Rookie and the 'franchising out' of Ghistbusters to other cities, they could have introduced a few big name actors to carry on the series.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Well, they did, didn't they? If they'd had a script instead of a prolonged improv session it could've been pretty good.

 

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

X-Men Apocalypse without Quicksilver would get zero stars from me. Quicksilver gives it 1 star.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

★★★★★ Pete's Dragon and The Shallows
★★★★ Jason Bourne and Nerve
★★ Finding Dory, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates and Suicide Squad

I'm scared of sharks and Pete's Dragon moved me. You'll get no apologies here.

 

[Uncle Sam]

It's a big fleshy missile full of teeth that lives in water - what's not to be scared of?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

To spoil the film for you, it starts like Open Water/The Reef and ends like Deep Blue Sea/Jaws The Revenge.

 

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

To spoil the film for you, it starts like Open Water/The Reef and ends like Deep Blue Sea/Jaws The Revenge.

Open Water was terrible, so was Jaws 4. This is not a good selling point.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Open Water is tense and Jaws four is about a shark seeking vengeance. The Shallows is both. Peak cinema.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

★★★ Morgan, Brotherhood, Mechanic: Resurrection, Lights Out and War Dogs
★★ Sausage Party, Our Kind of Traitor, Top Cat Begins, David Brent: Life on the Road and Swallows & Amazons
★ Nine Lives and Asterix: Land of the Gods(?)

After I saw Brotherhood I got approached by some lads who did the youth speak that runs throughout that film. I just couldn't take them seriously when they asked to borrow my lighter. Almost as amusing as the film.

 

[Uncle Sam]

All I've seen was Never Stop Never Stopping, which I'm still not sure is funny or obnoxious.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

That didn't surface near me. Which is unfortunate because I love Hotrod.

Seeing Top Gun tomorrow. Put me down for 5 stars.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Room ★★★★★
2. 10 Cloverfield Lane ★★★★
3. Anomalisa ★★★★
4. Creed ★★★★
5. The Revenant ★★★★
6. Everybody Wants Some!! ★★★★
7. The Hateful Eight ★★★★
8. The Witch ★★★★
9. Captain America: Civil War ★★★★
10. Green Room ★★★★
11. Bone Tomahawk ★★★★
12. Finding Dory ★★★
13. The Nice Guys ★★★
14. Hail, Caesar! ★★★
15. Zootropolis ★★★
16. Spotlight ★★★
17. Deadpool ★★★
18. The Secret Life of Pets ★★★
19. Rams ★★★
20. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping ★★★
21. Ghostbusters ★★★
22. The Survivalist ★★★
23. The Big Short ★★★
24. Suicide Squad ★★★
25. Star Trek Beyond ★★
26. The Little Prince ★★
27. The Jungle Book ★★
28. Goosebumps ★★
29. Eddie the Eagle ★★
30. High-Rise ★★
31. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★
32. X-Men Apocalypse ★
33. The Assassin ★

There's a lot of laughs - and I really wish Universal didn't make it so I have to cough up a full twelve British pounds sterling to listen to Equal Rights in full - but it peters out rather than building to a crescendo.

The Wrath of Khan was on at the Prince Charles in 70mm and I took advantage of my lifetime membership to get a free ticket. I genuinely enjoyed it. That said, people who laugh at wonky effects or hammy acting in pre-millenium science fiction films past the first five minutes (e.g. still obnoxiously scream-laughing during Spock's funeral) should be sequestered to whatever circle of hell it is that plays Prometheus on loop.

Four days off work next week - a random act of kindness to myself - should give me a taste of the Jake lifestyle; I plan to spend at least one day in the cinema.

 

[JGlass]

Ya'll mother fuckers gotta get to seeing Don't Think Twice.

Very good.