Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Mighty NorCal]

VHS: Viral

Not what I was lead to think it would be. Instead of two shit segments around one really strong life changing segment, what I saw was two above average segments around a shitty, overhyped, sophomoric segment (ZOMG THE BIG TWIST IS EVERYONE HAS MONSTER GENITALZ LOLOLOL)

 

[.]

You haven't seen Fury? You're know that North Korea is helping you out there right?

Also the Annie remake if you want an exercise in what is essentially watching an unappealing child sing badly accompanied by a human anechoic chamber in Cameron Diaz.

Actually everything in that film is an anechoic chamber.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'll see Annie because I see any old shit. Sam seems to have more self-control.

 

[Uncle Sam]

(ZOMG THE BIG TWIST IS EVERYONE HAS MONSTER GENITALZ LOLOLOL)

This I have to see. When it's on Netflix. And I have absolutely nothing else to do.

Actually everything in that film is an anechoic chamber.

I had to look up what an anechoic chamber was.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I want the six boring hours of life that I've spent watching the Hobbit movies back. Genuinely, if you could remove all memory of those movies in exchange for a six hour delay being put on that inevitable alleyway stabbing, I'd take it.

Enough about that: I'm off to see the new Hobbit movie in a little bit. Self-control my arse.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Abort. See Kajaki instead.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Do you know where the west end is? Because that's where I'd need to go. I think it's north from here, oddly enough.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. The Lego Movie ★★★★★
2. The Guest ★★★★★
3. Pride ★★★★★
4. X-Men: Days of Future Past ★★★★
5. Calvary ★★★★
6. The Grand Budapest Hotel ★★★★
7. The Raid 2 ★★★★
8. Guardians of the Galaxy ★★★★
9. The Babadook ★★★★
10. Joe ★★★★
11. 22 Jump Street ★★★★
12. The Wolf of Wall Street ★★★★
13. Nightcrawler ★★★
14. Gone Girl ★★★
15. How To Train Your Dragon 2 ★★★
16. Boyhood ★★★
17. The Double ★★★
18. Her ★★★
19. What We Do in the Shadows ★★★
20. Northern Soul ★★★
21. Inside Llewyn Davis ★★★
22. Noah ★★★
23. Interstellar ★★★
24. Starred Up ★★★
25. The Inbetweeners 2 ★★★
26. Monty Python Live (Mostly) ★★★
27. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes ★★★
28. Locke ★★★
29. Frank ★★★
30. 12 Years a Slave ★★★
31. Maps to the Stars ★★
32. Two Days, One Night ★★
33. Captain America: The Winter Soldier ★★
34. Paddington ★★
35. Only Lovers Left Alive ★★
36. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies ★★
37. Godzilla ★★
38. American Hustle ★★
39. The Wind Rises ★

I'd have really liked to have given The Hobbit just the one star - The Wind Rises is getting lonely down there - but it was honestly hilariously shit in parts, whereas the likes of Godzilla and American Hustle were just dour. If you're gonna fuck it up, do it spectacularly.

Still too much Lord of the Rings shit, still much too bloated, still tonally all over the place, still keeping the weird Dickensian subplot about ******** politicians and precocious children. Baffling.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'm going to see Penguins Of Madagascar today instead of it. I just don't think I have it in me to sit through more Hobbit.

I'm also going to a test screening of Kingsman on, I dunno, Wednesday or something. Apparently you have to sign saying you won't talk about it so you can expect a fairly detailed review later in the week.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Glad we shared disdain for American Hustle.

Excruciatingly boring. Fell asleep twice.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

The Equalizer -

Fun, but utterly ridiculous, and thin. But fun.

"I like it outside at night because its just so dark" - Hooker Chloe Moretz.


Modern day scripture, basically.

 

[Gelgarin]

American Hustle was astonishingly shit.

 

[Ty Burna]

The Equalizer -

Fun, but utterly ridiculous, and thin. But fun.

"I like it outside at night because its just so dark" - Hooker Chloe Moretz.


Modern day scripture, basically.

Felt like such a long long setup for watching how many ways Denzel can kill someone/show he's a human Terminator.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Chloe Moretz is old enough to play a hooker now, eh? Sounds like this could be the next Taxi Driver, lads.

American Hustle is total dross, I'm glad we're all agreed. Probably deserved the Academy Award for best costumes or whatever it won, mind you.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

American Hustle was almost decent in comparison to some of the other shit I've seen this year.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Yeah, well, that's what happens when you see over a hundred films, you mental case.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

1. Fight Club ★★★★★
2. The Guest ★★★★★ x2
3. Oculus ★★★★★
4. Pride ★★★★★
5. Kajaki: The True Story ★★★★★
6. Noah ★★★★★
7. Starred Up ★★★★★
8. Nightcrawler ★★★★
9. The Wolf Of Wall Street ★★★★
10. X-Men: Days Of Future Past ★★★★
11. The Inbetweeners 2 ★★★★
12. The Babadook ★★★★
13. Paddington ★★★★
14. A Walk Among The Tombstones ★★★★
15. Delivery Man ★★★★
16. Pompeii ★★★★
17. Non-Stop ★★★★
18. Labor Day ★★★★
19. The Fault In Our Stars ★★★★
20. Under The Skin ★★★★
21. Guardians Of The Galaxy ★★★★ x2
22. How To Train Your Dragon 2 ★★★★
23. What If ★★★★
24. Fury ★★★★
25. Before I Go To Sleep ★★★★
26. The Riot Club ★★★★
27. Bad Neighbours ★★★
28. The Grand Budapest Hotel ★★★
29. Nymph()maniac: Part 1 ★★★
30. Her ★★★
31. Gone Girl ★★★
32. St. Vincent ★★★
33. The Raid 2 ★★★
34. Stranger By The Lake ★★★
35. Into The Storm ★★★
36. Boyhood ★★★
37. Penguins Of Madagascar ★★★
38. Horrible Bosses 2 ★★★
39. Get Santa ★★★
40. Last Vegas ★★★
41. The Book Thief ★★★
42. Black Sea ★★★
43. 22 Jump Street ★★★
44. The Lego Movie ★★★
45. Need For Speed ★★★
46. Grudge Match ★★★
47. The Drop ★★★
48. Chef ★★★
49. Dallas Buyers Club ★★★
50. Nymph()maniac: Part 2 ★★★
51. The Purge: Anarchy ★★★
52. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 ★★★
53. Sabotage ★★★
54. Cold In July ★★★
55. The Expendables 3 ★★★
56. Horns ★★★
57. The Imitation Game ★★★
58. Godzilla ★★★
59. The Other Woman ★★★
60. Muppets Most Wanted ★★★
61. Lucy ★★★
62. The Two Faces Of January ★★★
63. Edge Of Tomorrow ★★★
64. Deliver Us From Evil ★★★
65. 12 Years A Slave ★★★
66. Out Of The Furnace ★★★
67. The Stag ★★★
68. The Monuments Men ★★★
69. Fading Gigolo ★★★
70. The Equalizer ★★★
71. Annabelle ★★★
72. Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes ★★★
73. Earth To Echo ★★★
74. That Awkward Moment ★★★
75. What We Did On Our Holiday ★★★
76. Love, Rosie ★★★
77. Cuban Fury ★★★
78. The Railway Man ★★★
79. A Long Way Down ★★★
80. Life After Beth ★★★
81. The Best Of Me ★★★
82. Dolphin Tale 2 ★★★
83. Let's Be Cops ★★
84. Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! ★★
85. The Hundred-Foot Journey ★★
86. A Million Ways To Die In The West ★★
87. Hercules ★★
88. Hector And The Search For Happiness ★★
89. Maleficent ★★
90. Captain America: The Winter Soldier ★★
91. Sin City: A Dame To Kill For ★★
92. Sex Tape ★★
93. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 ★★
94. The Boxtrolls ★★
95. If I Stay ★★
96. Robocop ★★
97. American Hustle ★★
98. Interstellar ★★
99. 3 Days To Kill ★★
100. As Above/So Below ★★
101. The Giver ★★
102. Transformers: Age Of Extinction ★★
103. The Maze Runner ★★
104. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ★★
105. Mr. Turner ★
106. The Unbeatables ★
107. The House Of Magic ★
108. The Book Of Life ★
109. Dracula Untold ★
110. A Most Wanted Man ★
111. Ouija ★
112. Belle ★
113. Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie ★
114. Transcendence ★

The dream is to finish the year on 125 and then aim for 150 next year.

Might be time for me to get a part time job or something.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Do they release 150 films a year? If you want to support me to the tune of £2,000 a month, I'll gladly support you in your endeavour.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'm sure they do. I missed Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit and, y'know, other films.

I'll just have to watch more of those overlong, non-English films are the arthouse cinema.

I can barely support my own crippling cinema addiction, so I'm afraid I can only give you £500 a month.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Felt like such a long long setup for watching how many ways Denzel can kill someone/show he's a human Terminator.

See, I didn't mind all that. More the framing around it. One of the more irritating things in cinema is when you set rules within a universe and then can't follow them.


Like how hooker Chloe Moretz seemed to have no idea any of this all occured at the end of the movie?

They had a massive shootout replete with explosions in a home debot and no one called the fucking cops??

Denzel being a juggernaught and all the while knowing within himself that it was actually the villains who never stood a single chance was pretty awesome.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Chloe Moretz is old enough to play a hooker now, eh?

Im not 100% sure yet if im going to feel weird the first time she is partially nude in a film.

 

[Lee]

Finally watched Guardians of the Galaxy. It's brilliant.

 

[.]

So hows about Kidd and Cesaro?

There was an app backstage segment where Natayla stated she was really happy Tyson finally has a friend to talk about his cats with. I love this team already. Their style is like the KoW without the dead weight.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

^^^^

Seriously. They never have a match that doesn't involve something you say "WOW!" at. It fucking rocks from the standpoint that its blatantly obvious they just threw two guys together because they failed with them....and those two guys ended up taking a shit sandwhich, and making something of it. Its obvious they put a lot of effort into making themselves as good as possible, and are a perfect strength/speed/percision combo team.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The two best wrestlers in the company, or at least on the main roster, and it's a crying shame that they're not being used better. You'd think, with the roster as thin as it is, there'd be ample room in which to slot them - but no, Big Red, he's the future.