TheOneBigWill's 'take' on Monday Night Raw, September 15th, 2008:
The Matches:
1. Steel Cage: World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho (c) v. C.M. Punk: While I could easily make a smartass remark about how even as a challenger to the title, the only thing C.M. Punk is doing to the Heavyweight division is dragging it down to midcard status by opening the show.. the fact is, I understood and LIKED that they opened the show with this match.
It allowed both men plenty of time to show off a great match, which I also give Punk credit for, because for the most part it was just that. You know, on second thought it wasn't really 'great' persay, but it was a good match. Great would've involved using the Cage a bit more, perhaps a couple high(er) risk moves, as well as a better ending.
Speaking of which, it seems Punk's fluke-like nature of retaining has rubbed off on the new Champion, because the ending came after Punk (or Jericho?) headbutted their opponent which caused Jericho to stumble backwards and end up falling out of the cage to pick up the victory, and retain his Championship.
I think this easily marks the end of the test-run that was the "Punk-experience". I can't say I'm sorry or sad to see it go, but I can say it didn't come soon enough. Hopefully now Punk can go where he truly belongs, which is the Intercontinental division against guys like Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio. Now THOSE would be amazing matches worth watching.
2. Jillian Hall v. Candice Michelle: All I have to say is sometimes it isn't better to be a member of the live audience. From what I could tell, Jillian Hall spent the entire commercial break singing Elvis songs to the Memphis crowd until Plastic Barbie finally came out.
As much as I want to blame this match on Jillian, I simply can't. The fact is, if Candice is anything worth being good, or better than good, she should've been capable of carrying Jillian to a good match. In the end, Candice hit an unprettier in which she's renamed it "The Candy-Wrapper" to pick up the victory.
After the match Candice was so overwhelmed with not getting injured, she requested the official to reattach her bra because apparently her breasts wanted to bounce out and celebrate too.
Beth Phoenix was offered to come into the ring, as she'd been announcing that match, but as Beth attempted to get in, Plastic Barbie dropkicked her mid-stride and knocked Beth to the arena floor.
3. J.B.L. v. Tommy Dreamer: E.C.W.'s "gift" to Raw is seeing J.B.L. deliver a squash match against the last remaining E.C.W. 'Great', Tommy Dreamer. Such a shame that Dreamer is being used in this manner but I suppose the positive is (for him) at least he isn't in the unemployment line with the rest of the E.C.W. Originals. (yet) After the match, J.B.L. stages a "sitdown strike". (more on that in my promos section)
4. 6-Man Tag Team Action: Manu & Wall Street v. Kofi Kingston, Jerry 'The King' Lawler & Jim Haas: I was the slightest bit curious if they were about to have a rematch from last week, but then I was surprised to see Jerry Lawler. (not AS surprised once I remembered they were in Memphis though) Charlie Haas, this week playing the role of "Good Ol' Jim Haas" was once again somewhat on "Q".
The match wasn't really exciting or interesting. Manu is somewhat impressive, but I still can't really look beyond thinking he's Carlito and Umaga's bastard child. Anytime they use Jerry Lawler it just reminds me that they feel more confident in their past then they do their future or present as well.
Kingston really is amazing, and he's definately got a spot in the W.W.E. as long as he can hit the Benjamin/Hardy-like high spots, but I don't truly believe he'll ever be anything more than a meaningless Intercontinental Champion. That isn't to say he won't be fun to watch, it's just to say some wrestlers are never going to be anything in the sport, other than exciting to watch open or mid-way through a show. He'll never be a closer.
In the end, it was Ted DiBiase picking up the victory, defeating Haas with his finisher to help the Young Guns pick up another victory.
5. Jamie Noble v. Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea Burchill: This match disgusted me. I'm not even going to say much about it other than the fact that apparently the William Regal/Paul Burchill connection is there, without any type of push what-so-ever.
Novble flat-out squashed Burchill, and ended up making him tap in almost record time with a mere armbar out of nowhere. After the match, Layla came out to apologize for not coming to her senses sooner. She said Noble would've never gave her the things she deserves (basically) and the only thing he could've done was taken her to low class restaurants in his truck.
William Regal then comes out and explains that it was never Noble that she wanted, it was Nobility. Layla and Regal walk off and the feud between Noble and Regal will likely and apparently rage on. What a shame.
6. (Main Event) Kane v. Rey Mysterio: I'd like to say I'm glad this wasn't a Pay per view match, but in the end it was Rey Mysterio picking up a Disqualification victory so it'll likely turn into an Inferno match or a "If Rey loses he must unmask" match at No Mercy.
I had a slight chance, a glimmer of hope even, that Kane could work greatly with Mysterio similar to how he did with Sean Waltman. That hope went out the window halfway through this disaster. I think Kane has just given up the effort of wanting to put on good matches anymore.
Kane repeatedly stomped Mysterio in the corner which drew the ending of the match, afterward it was Evan Bourne coming to Mysterio's aid, as both high-fliers took it to the Big Red Machine and left him laughing and smiling in the ring.
Promos/Segments:
Kelly 2/Adamle/Diggler/Jericho: Some new Wrestler called "Dolph Diggler" interrupts Kelly and Adamle by introducing himself. Kelly seems impressed (which isn't to say much, as turning on a light usually has the same effect on her) and Adamle laughs because he signed the guy, so of course he knows him.
Jericho interrupts as Adamle wants to announce Batista as his No Mercy opponent, until Jericho plays the "injury" card again and demands that they talk in his office. They both walk off.
Kane: The back of Kane's head is shown, as he's wearing his old mask. Kane basically cuts a promo in which he said a few years ago people believe he was forced to unmask, but he informs everyone that noone can force him to do anything. Kane removes his mask and says he willingly took his mask off, because he was wanting everyone to accept him. (how many times is Kane going to crave acceptance? This guy is more needy than a prom date who's boyfriend was caught with the Prom Queen)
Evan Bourne interrupts Kane, (I laughed) to tell him it's because of Mysterio that Bourne made it in the sport and he hopes Mysterio destroys (I laughed again) Kane later.
J.B.L./Randy Orton/Glamerella/Batista: (cont. from J.B.L.'s match) J.B.L. basically said he wasn't leaving the ring until he was made number one contender for the W.W.E. title. This brings out Randy Orton.
Orton tells Bradshaw that the Champions on Raw aren't the only things that aren't impressive, as he then goes on to explain his shoulder injury brought the Age of Orton to a quick end, but it's only a matter of time before it resumes. He said when he regains the title, he'll bring credibility back to the Championships on Raw. This brings out the Intercontinental and Women's Champions, Glamerella.
Santino quickly makes the promo enjoyable by exclaiming how Orton's always injured, just like his Daddy. He then makes a remark about Bob's cast being on him for some odd 6 years. Santino said his Papa was always healthy, even though he had 'the herpes' but he managed it well. (must've had val-trax) Santino said that he and Beth represent a new age of Champions and demands an apology. Orton wants to know if Santino actually expects him to respond, but J.B.L. quickly demands Orton to apolgize..
But the thing is, J.B.L. doesn't want him to apologize to Glamerella, he wants Orton to apologize to him. Threats of reinjuring Orton's shoulder are brought into play, as this brings Batista out.
Batista basically runs his mouth about how it's pathetic that they're all trying to claim things that they can't back up, then he says he's about to beat all of their asses and become the Number One Contender. (what was that about pathetic, claiming things they can't back up?) He calls Beth a pig to which Santino tells the world that just because she squeals doesn't mean she's a pig. (I laughed hard, and got slightly turned on)
Batista basically says that he promises tonight to beat J.B.L. and go to No Mercy to face Jericho. (wow, looks like he's pathetic for not backing up what he promised.. hypocrite) He then goes on to say he'll continue beating up people until Orton returns and he'll beat him up too. This is all interrupted by Mike Adamle who says he'll make a statement about the Championship after the Mysterio/Kane match. Batista doesn't wanna wait that long and attacks J.B.L. Orton flees, as does J.B.L. once he gets free.
Batista delivers a spinebuster to Santino, and attempts to leave until Beth bitch slaps him twice, to which he says "ow!" to the second one. (haha, pussy) He then beats up an innocent girl, (bastard) and leaves Glamerella laying in the ring.
Jericho/J.B.L.: J.B.L. enters Jericho's locker room and attempts to butter Jericho up by talking about how great a team they were, but Jericho stops him. Jericho says he remembers how J.B.L. cost him the title almost a year ago, and about how like his friend's on Wall Street, the chances of him getting a shot are crashing.
Cade/Adamle/Batista: Lance Cade is trying to offer some "oral persuasion" to Adamle to get Jericho's "option" for No Mercy accepted. (I'm sure that's what he was doing) Batista interrupts and wants to know what the decision is. Cade interrupts, only for Batista to roid out on him and almost put him through the door. Then, without getting the answer, Batista just randomly leaves. Weird.
Closing Segment: Jericho comes out (w/ Cade) and announces that he brought forth the idea of Batista and J.B.L. fighting at No Mercy, and the winner facing Jericho immediately after. He said he feels that's only fair, since Jericho fought twice in the same night to become Champion. (I'm surprised he didn't bring up Rock/Austin again) Jericho goes on to say he's the best in the world, and says he hopes Adamle does the right thing.
Adamle comes out and says that Jericho's idea is a good one, so Batista v. J.B.L. will happen and be a #1 contender's match, the winner of that match will face "the Champion" at a later date.. Jericho gets somewhat upset when Adamle doesn't refer to him as "the" Champion, and Adamle says the problem is, he has a meeting w/ Shane and Stephanie and he also have to have the title defended at No Mercy.
Adamle says he doesn't want to get in the habit of having challengers compete twice in the same night, so Jericho will meet a different opponent, and the Champion will meet either Batista or J.B.L. at a later date. Adamle says his opponent was someone who also approached him and gave him a match idea that he couldn't pass up.
His opponent is none other than.. SHAWN MICHAELS! H.B.K. takes forever to come out, (likely because his arm and eye are still "hurting" him
) but when he finally does, he says that they've fought in single's matches and unsanctioned matches so he had to think up a new way to top themselves. He said he finally came to a match type that would allow him to disfigure Jericho, AND take his World title.
H.B.K. has trouble remembering what it is, so he asks for help. A couple tech guys bring a ladder out, as H.B.K. climbs the ladder then announces it'll be that type of match at No Mercy. The show ends with Jericho pissing himself. (piss didn't exactly come across on television, but you know he did)
Overall Thoughts: The first thoughts I have on this show are from the last segment that happened. The rumored H.B.K./Jericho match for the title are apparently true, obviously from the way it seems, but my only question is.. out of all the "injuries" that Shawn Michaels has.. are ANY of them real? Eyes, Arms, Backs, Legs.. what's next, he'll connect with a Superkick and manage to somehow break his 'heart' which'll cause him to leave for another month or two so he can spend Christmas at home instead of in Iraq?
I have to admit, I really thought H.B.K.'s arm injury was real, and if it is then how serious is it, because if it's what they originally claimed it was.. wouldn't that require surgery and to NOT wrestle with until it heals? H.B.K. looked really good at the p.p.v., but even "I" was fooled apparently at thinking he was truly hurt with that arm, and that has me both amazed that it got over and fooled everyone.. AND it has me a bit pissed off, because of all the people, it seems H.B.K. is the one guy who's always faking fricken injuries! Regardless, the ladder match everyone's been wishing for is finally a couple weeks away, and it couldn't be between two better Superstars, so well done.. I truly hope it'll be a classic to remember.
As far as everything else goes, but at the same time staying on the injury storyline(s).. is Orton fully recovered or not? He's appearing on a regular basis now, and obviously he's picking a bone with the Younger talent in the W.W.E., at the same time he's verbally attacking practically everyone making it hard to determine if he's trying to be a face or a heel. Obviously Orton isn't over well as a face, and if they even try I think it'll be a failed attempt, but he needs to return already, even "I" want him back now. lol
I said it earlier and I'll say it again, Kane against Mysterio at No Mercy in a possible Inferno match is likely going to happen. I would just rather it didn't. I only say inferno because of something Jake mentioned for the SD v. Raw video game that's coming out. This year's version will debut the "inferno" match on it, so I would be willing to bet Kane and Mysterio will have that match. Neither of them seemed to work well tonight though, so I just don't know what to think about that.
C.M. Punk seems to finally be OUT of the World Championship scene, and I can't wait to hear the excuses of all the Punk Bastards on why he was wrongfully done in. Face it, he had the opportunity to be a decent Champion, and he failed. While I won't discount that creative obviously had him losing all of those matches.. the question is WHY?!
You can't say upper management didn't feel he'd be a bad Champion, if they intentionally made him look stupid AS Champion, so obviously he was never designed for the spot. I think it was nothing more than a trial run for a "younger" Superstar to be in the spot, and to see how the fans took too it. Punk was the biggest new thing to hit the W.W.E. outside of M.V.P. or Kennedy, and he was the only one on Raw.. which is likely why he got it. Then again, "it" was always Hardy's anyways, so now I'm almost more convinced Hardy will be the new Champion come No Mercy too. (not completely, but a bit more than I was)
The Regal/Noble storyline is interesting and stupid. Layla acts the part of a snob, especially with her accent. But having Noble completely squash Paul Burchill is 100% bullshit. Where is this going to lead Noble? NO WHERE that's where. If anything, the ONLY person that benefits from this storyline, is Layla, and that's just because she'll get more airtime and won't have to shake her ass to do it.
I have next to nothing to say about Plastic Barbie except I swear if you put her next to any type of open flame, her face will melt. Is it just me, or did her Doctor play a joke on her face? Maybe it's the new haircut, I truly don't know, but crap GO BACK to the old look. I still admit I take my house robe and do her thrusting 'coat open' entrance moves when her music is playing though.. so that's a bonus.
Dolph Diggler.. I think he debuted a night too early, seems to me like he'd be good for Teddy Long's New Talent gimmick. I can't say much about him, looks kinda dorky in sparky tights but his ring name seems like it was taken from the movie "Boogie Nights". So who knows.
Batista and J.B.L. is going to be a smash IN THE mouth experience, all over again. I'm not looking forward to it, and hopefully it doesn't waste too much of my time. Why J.B.L. is continuing to get title shots is beyond me anyways, at least Batista has an overall "look" to be in the Main title picture. J.B.L. needs to be managing, or doing something else.
Overall, Raw was good, a nice mix of promos and matches. I loved the Cage match, the ending was kinda crap. Mysterio/Kane wasn't what I expected, but here's to hoping it was just an off night for them. I'm really becoming more and more impressed by Manu and Wall Street, but without opponents they won't get far. I'd rather see Santino and Beth, than Beth and Candice. And great job on the No Mercy Main Event.. I'm 100% excited now.
Raw gets a 7 outta 10.