TheOneBigWill's 'take' on Monday Night Raw: April 21st, 2008:
The Matches:
King of the Ring Quarter-Finals: Chris Jericho v. M.V.P.: The night officially kicks off with the KOTR Quarter-Finals, and Chris Jericho is the first man entered, followed by his opponent, M.V.P. This was quite possibly the best match of the whole night, and it was very fitting that it started the show. It gave people hope that their 3 hour treat would be one to remember for the ages. Sadly, if tonight's event is remembered at all, it won't be seen as a 'treat' of any kind. But I'm jumping far, far ahead.
Jericho and M.V.P. put on a classic showing and a match that could later spark a feud, should M.V.P. be moved to Raw, or Jericho to Smackdown. Jericho picks up the victory after countering M.V.P.'s 'Play of the Day' into the 'Walls of Jericho' for the submission and the advancement into the Semi-Finals.
M.V.P. on the other hand got a nice losing prize.. a 'goose egg' on his forehead that won't likely be gone by tomorrow night's Smackdown taping.. so you know a "V.I.P. Lounge" will be had, in regard to that.
King of the Ring Quarter-Finals: C.M. Punk v. Matt Hardy: While I wasn't the least bit happy C.M. Punk, Mr. "Money in the Bank" (who since has lost basically every match) was added into yet another midcard push spot.. I must admit he put on a great showing against Matt Hardy.
Nice back and forth match that would've been even more in favor of Matt Hardy to pull out the victory, had M.V.P. advanced and it gave us the glimmer of hope that an early Sunday match-up might take place. No M.V.P. interference either, as C.M. Punk counters into a sitdown pin to advance to the next round.
King of the Ring Quarter-Finals: The Great Khali v. Finlay: I could not have called this, at all. When The Great Khali's music began, the first thing I did was throw my remote on the floor and yell as loud as I can "Fucking W.W.E."
With Finlay coming out to face Khali, it was almost instant that I knew Finlay would advance but not without being injured enough to either make a run for the Finals as a wounded underdog, or drop an easy one to a heel. Finlay (as we seen) picked up the victory, after Khali refused to quit slamming his knee against the ring post. (thus, the injury)
Big Show comes out after the match, only to once again have Khali back down and walk away.
King of the Ring Quarter-Finals: William Regal v. Hornswoggle: Okay, before I even start..
HORN-FUCKING-SWOGGLE?! Seriously, William Regal is technical and could've at least jobbed to someone great. Paul Burchill would've been the better, more reasonable replacement than the current Raw General Manager, but Regal was still
SLIGHTY okay.
However, when his opponent was announced.. I simply had to remove myself from my chair and walk away. Not only was Mr. Kennedy & John Morrison utterly FUCKED out of a great opportunity, but to not even place a reasonable opponent in the 8th and final spot. I mean seriously. Elijah Burke, Shelton Benjamin, The fucking MIZ! Hell, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Yang, anyone but a fucking midget?!
At least I know Vince didn't get his complete wish, otherwise we would've seen Hornswoggle win the damn thing. I can see Triple H. convincing him in the back now.. "
Vince, I know you love midgets, but the people will never buy one going over 3 of your better talented athletes, wait a year and make him W.W.E. Champion for a week."
Hardcore Holly w/ Cody Rhodes v. Carlito w/ Santino Marella: So, is the Tag Team Championship match unofficial for Sunday's Pay Per View? Because it was never announced, and they continue to push Santino & Carlito into claiming an upper hand over the Champions. Apparently this is a Number One Contender's team that'll just never receive their shot. (Kinda like Cryme Tyme.. who apparently weren't smart enough to show up on Raw and try to steal the crown)
The only worth while part in this whole time wasting experience, is Cody Rhodes turning someone aggressive. After the match, Wet Dreams cut an average promo demanding that Santino shut up. Then when Santino refused, Cody slammed the mic into his head and the Tag Team Champions took it to Carlito & Santino. Not bad, I just don't know if Carlito & Santino have what it take to be the next "heel" top team.
King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho v. C.M. Punk: I honestly don't know what it is, but anytime these two wrestle C.M. Punk looks above average and downright great. I don't like the guy, but Jericho works well with him and somehow has the ability to bring the best out in him.
There was one solid botch in which Jericho went for a Lionsault, and I think Punk was suppose to roll out of the way, as Jericho instead of laying out to connect properly for it, tried landing as if he 'knew' the guy had moved. Only problem was, someone forgot to tell Punk to move.. and as a result, Punk got Jericho landing foot first directly across his face and nose. (suprised completely that it didn't break)
The ending saw C.M. Punk connect with the G.T.S. and the replay they showed of it really had a great angle in slow motion of Punk's knee connecting hard with Jericho's jaw. Great replay, and Punk advances to the Finals.
King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Finlay v. William Regal: When this match happened at (I think) the Great American Bash in 2006, it was an okay match and very physical and tough for both men. As each have similar skills and styles of brawling.
This time around, however, it was obviously meant to be with Finlay at a distinct disadvantage as he came out on "one leg" to face a man who delivered a solid knee to the face, then locked in the Regal Stretch to advance to the Finals. (how funny that Finlay's injury gave a direct opening to Regal's finisher - shocking)
Presidential 'Smackdown': Hilary Clinton w/ Bill Clinton v. Barock Obama: Rosie O' Donnell v. Donald Trump saw TREMENDOUS RATINGS..
So why not pull another mock fight?
And wrestling fans get upset and outraged when people call wrestling fake and stupid. Hmm, I wonder why.
Seriously, I get W.W.E.'s will to drive their viewers to vote. But what purpose does it serve to make the Presidential Hopeful's look like fools? Some say Hilary was actually played by Mickie James. I can only HOPE that isn't true, as its such a horrible role for the *New* Women's Champion to be put into. Meanwhile, a local indy wrestler played Barock.. and the guy playing Bill, I think, is the same guy who played him during the 1995 Survivor Series.
Overall, I popped louder for Umaga, than ANYONE ELSE on this entire night. I was so thrilled to see W.W.E.'s poor misuse of great talent coming out to squash and kill a horrible angle and storyline. (By the way, when the creative masterminds were thinking of the KOTR entries.. when Umaga's name was brought up, what genius said "
Nah, he doesn't need built for anything, lets have him squash the soon to be next President, it'll be great!"
King of the Ring Finals: C.M. Punk v. William Regal: So before the match ever started, when Regal defeated Finlay, I sat in my chair all night thinking to myself how horrible its going to be to see Punk flush away both the MITB case as well as the KOTR crown. Then I stopped and asked the question.. "Does Regal actually stand a chance of winning?"
It was at this time I began talking to a friend of mine,
Mighty NorCal, who told me his ideas for how William Regal should be and ultimately would be winning the KOTR. NorCal believed solidly that Regal would be winning. And he told me the reason behind this, is because Regal could pull off a faction with guys such as Paul Burchill, Lea, D.H. Smith, and Mcyntire. (sp?)
Going into the KOTR, there were rumors of the winner replacing Booker T. in the "King" role. And when I grouped together all the guys who'd advanced from the Quarter-Finals, I knew instantly William Regal would be the ONLY guy capable of filling that role. However at that time, I was more convinced they'd just give the whole thing to Punk, because I'm solidly convinced W.W.E. is braindead and doesn't understand that Punk is
NOT a better talent then the likes of Mr. Kennedy, or John Morrison.
Now, while I'm not sold on Smith or Mcyntire (sp?) I do solidly believe that Paul Burchill will still benefit from this greatly. I think he'll become William Regal's personal bodyguard, or hired muscle.
As far as this match (Punk v. Regal) goes, it wasn't by any means great. And the funny thing is, Punk didn't look at all like he could win. Regal was in control 90% of the time and took the whole thing in the end.
The Promos:
JBL: J.B.L. cuts more of a promo on his own personal lifestyle and businesses on the side then he did winning the W.W.E. Championship. Its your typical promo from a guy who likely won't be a factor at all. In the end, he claims he'll be crowned (KOTR reference) Champion, and he'll be the big news story come Sunday.
Shawn Michaels/Batista: A solid month of nothing but promos. Seriously? I love Shawn to death and the guy is great on the mic, but did we really need a month worth of promos ON RAW AND SMACKDOWN?! Shawn calls Batista out, says Jericho had a point.. and asked if Tista wanted to end Flair's career. Batista says he won't give H.B.K. the pleasure of hearing him say that.
Shawn says the funny thing is, he is everything Batista says he is. And he feels that regardless if Batista's mind is on winning the World Heavyweight Championship come Smackdown, regardless of all that, thus Sunday he will be in the ring, in a match, against the guy that will take any step, do anything, to win. (Is that H.B.K. saying he'll cheat if he has to?)
Shawn offers a handshake, Batista does so, then pulls H.B.K. back when he goes to leave. (What is it with Wrestlers and handshakes? Its like neither know they have to let go when one walks away, someone's always forgetting and the result is the guy walking away always getting pulled back) When H.B.K. finally does get released, he goes for a fake out with an attempted Superkick, however Batista doesn't move a muscle. (and believe me, in HD you can see those things pop with even the slightest movement) Tista smiles, then walks by H.B.K., shoving him with his shoulder as he leaves the ring.
Triple H.: Another average promo about being the best of 4 guys come Sunday. Trips goes on to explain that all everyone is doing is talking, all that is is a bunch of words, but on Sunday, words won't win the match and the true Champion, the best of the best will come out victorious and with the Championship. Oh yeah.. naturally, he says it'll be him.
John Cena: See Above. Seriously. Cena basically said what everyone is meant to believe. He has 25% chance of winning, as does the other 3. He claims that its not up to him to prove hes a winner, its up to everyone else to prove hes not.
Divas: I have no idea what to say about this, except for if Joey Styles was commentating on Raw he would've died from saying the words "Cat Fight" over and over.. and over.. and over.. and over. Mickie tells everyone to never give up, Beth says she'll win her Championship back. McCool bitch slaps Beth which starts a huge blow up between all the divas. (way to go Cool.. that was definately anything BUT)
Randy Orton: Orton cuts a live promo. (Sad thing is, I never knew he didn't cut a taped one before) Orton goes on to explain hes tired of continuing to hear everyone talk about how someone else is gonna be walking out of Backlash with his Championship. He says he'll let his actions do the talking for him, for the most part, except to say.. No Mercy, Survivor Series, Armageddon, Royal Rumble, No Way Out and Wrestlemania. (listing off all the times hes proved people wrong, apparently)
Presidential Promos: Yes, its getting its only little section. I'm not gonna bother with Hilary, Barock or John's outrageously horrible "promos" on what they're gonna do as our next President. Instead, I simply wish I could meet each of them and slap the fuck outta them one by one.
Who's bright idea was it to tell them to use wrestling phrases? Who's genius thought sparked them to each write speeches in which they used phrases like "Hil-rod" and "People's Elbow." "Smell what Barock is cookin'." "To be the man you gotta beat the man," "Game Over" & "Because McCain said so."
Not only do all three deserve to be publicly shot.. violently.. but none of these fucktards deserve to be our next president, because between the three of them, apparently they find the wrestling related viewing audience naive, simple minded and utterly braindead. I have no other reason to think on why it was a great idea for them to use these dumbass terms.
Certainly noone in this world thinks any of these three are as entertaining as the likes of The Rock, Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin. And I'm almost positive there wasn't a single wrestling fan who wanted to be treated like a moron, in having these three idiots refer to themselves in wrestling terms.
Main Event: 8 Man Tag Team Backlash Preview: Triple H., John Cena, Kane & The Undertaker v. Randy Orton, J.B.L., Chavo Guerrero & Edge: I love how Edge received one of the biggest pops of the night, only for the fans to suddenly realize midway down the ramp that hes still heel, and then they boo him.
This was more or less exactly what I dubbed it. A "Backlash Preview" match. Overall a pretty solid match but for as much mega star talent as it held, you'd think they would've allowed the match to have a bit more than 10 minutes to run. This had all the makings to be a great, if not the greatest Raw Main Event ever and they 'W.W.E.' themselves in the foot by having the overall entrances take longer than the match.
The end saw Edge pick up the victory, only to receive an F-U from Orton, as things began spiraling out of control with each wrestler from here delivering a finishing move until the final remaining one was the Undertaker, standing solid in the end.
Overall Thoughts: H.B.K., H.H.H., M.V.P., Jericho, Batista, Big Show, Randy Orton & Umaga. Those (I think) were the very first, original, graphic for the King of the Ring tournament. I wish I never would've opened my mouth in the first place to complain about it. Because had those names had remained the same and those solid type of matches would've been had.. I wouldn't be ranting like I'm about to, on how horribly disappointing this whole fucking show was.
Night starts out.. Jericho, M.V.P., I thought perfect. Punk, then Hardy, I thought.. well, Hardy was a stretch, but still above great. Khali then enters.. I stop. Instantly I hate bottom half of the brackets. Doesn't matter if hes only one person outta the bottom 4, hes still one BAD person. Finlay.. thats fine.
Then I get William Regal, and its my second
of the night. Followed by the most shocking development of all. Horn-fucking-swoggle. I shit you not, you are my favorite turd. The midget somehow out boosted the likes of Kennedy, Morrison, Burchill, Benjamin and Burke. Apparently W.W.E. feels the little bastard is more over than any of the above mentioned names. Hooray for idiots.
The only justifying thing out of the whole tournament is I hope they use NorCal's idea for Regal to start a faction on Raw. Because if they don't, then why on earth would Regal have won, much less even been entered into the fucking tournament in the first place? Hes definately not "young" and he isn't (to my knowledge) gonna receive a sudden push for W.W.E. Championship gold any time soon. So outside of taking on a fresh "king" gimmick, Regal winning served NO PURPOSE!
Raw had quite possibly the greatest chance, EVER, to blow the roof off of entertaining the world by giving us SEVEN, count them, SEVEN GREAT KOTR MATCHES. We got, maybe, 4. If you look at the upper half of the bracket, you'll think to yourself "Wow, thats a nice line-up." Then if you look to the lower half of the bracket, you'll more or less have a heartattack because you won't be capable of believing it to be true.