Motaste Junk - Stop your brain thinking for 168 seconds

[Lee]

Do tell...

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

I forgot to ask this earlier, but how was the day at work after our SummerSlam night?

 

[Tastycles]

So, my dad died this morning.

 

[Bernkastel]

That's sad to hear. It's always rough when a family member passes.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Very sorry to hear that, man. Hope you're doing OK.

 

[Tastycles]

So yeah, my dad died then my girlfriend broke up with me and then I got inspected at school.

So, that's why I've not been around.

 

[Lee]

Mate I'm truly sorry to hear that. I didn't see the post about your Dad from the other week, now I feel insentive. Just dropped you a text though.

 

[Uncle Sam]

That's rough. If you want to go for a drink or something - as if that's ever anything less than traumatic for you - you know how to get hold of me.

 

[Tastycles]

Cheers lads, appreciate it.

 

[Tastycles]

Had sex with a Geordie this weekend.

Howay!

 

[Uncle Sam]

I had a proposal of marriage turned down. #BeLikeTastycles

 

[Blade]

Had sex with a Geordie this weekend.

Howay!

Was it Lee?

 

[Diet Soda]

Had sex with a Geordie this weekend.

Howay!

Let me tell you a story. Once I spent a day in Sunderland library doing some primary research for my bachelor dissertation. Once I'd got everything I needed I went to a Wetherspoons round the corner for a pint and ham, egg and chips.
Being a stranger in a foreign city, I'd made a point of being as polite as possible to the quite attractive barmaid (she was a solid 7/10), whilst not being overbearing. She, used to the grunting and the bustling one comes to expect from a 'Spoons, seemed genuinely appreciative of my uncommonly good manners despite my commonly average face, and for the remainder of my visit gave me preferential treatment.
In those three quarters of an hour I was sitting there pondering, fantasising like you do, about a life together with this bonny young lady, and how I would initiate such an arrangement.
But I had to get the next Megabus back to Manc, and those daydreams remained just that.

Lee's going to tell me now that Geordies don't come from Sunderland, but y'know, Chinese, Japanese...

 

[Tastycles]

I had a proposal of marriage turned down. #BeLikeTastycles

For real?


No it wasn't Lee. She uses more Geordie words than Lee. "I thought he were canny till he hoyed it at weh" etc.

 

[Tastycles]

Let me tell you a story. Once I spent a day in Sunderland library doing some primary research for my bachelor dissertation. Once I'd got everything I needed I went to a Wetherspoons round the corner for a pint and ham, egg and chips.
Being a stranger in a foreign city, I'd made a point of being as polite as possible to the quite attractive barmaid (she was a solid 7/10), whilst not being overbearing. She, used to the grunting and the bustling one comes to expect from a 'Spoons, seemed genuinely appreciative of my uncommonly good manners despite my commonly average face, and for the remainder of my visit gave me preferential treatment.
In those three quarters of an hour I was sitting there pondering, fantasising like you do, about a life together with this bonny young lady, and how I would initiate such an arrangement.
But I had to get the next Megabus back to Manc, and those daydreams remained just that.

Lee's going to tell me now that Geordies don't come from Sunderland, but y'know, Chinese, Japanese...

This story ended far more dullly than I was expecting.

 

[Uncle Sam]

For real?

No - it wasn't this weekend, it was Thursday night. I reacted by getting the drunkest I ever have, walking through the streets in novelty Christmas slippers, attempting to sleep on a bench in a train station, and having a small search party assembled to find me. I was eventually found and, because novelty Christmas slippers don't do much to defend against moisture, was quite glad for it in hindsight. Trenchfoot was a real danger.

I finally have an interesting story to tell.

 

[Diet Soda]

Sorry, I was going to include the but about the time travelling ninja and his robot parakeet who we're sitting on the next table, but I didn't think it was relevant.

 

[Tastycles]

No - it wasn't this weekend, it was Thursday night. I reacted by getting the drunkest I ever have, walking through the streets in novelty Christmas slippers, attempting to sleep on a bench in a train station, and having a small search party assembled to find me. I was eventually found and, because novelty Christmas slippers don't do much to defend against moisture, was quite glad for it in hindsight. Trenchfoot was a real danger.

I finally have an interesting story to tell.

This is the most Tastyclesesque story I have ever heard that doesn't involve me in some way. It wasn't like my little sister or something was it?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Not unless your little sister is five years older than you.

Yeah, I know.

 

[Tastycles]

My little sister isn't really my sister and she's 23. So several years too young for you.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Tell her to look me up in a few years.

 

[Lee]

For real?


No it wasn't Lee. She uses more Geordie words than Lee. "I thought he were canny till he hoyed it at weh" etc.

I know a number of Geordies in laaandan.

 

[Lee]

Let me tell you a story. Once I spent a day in Sunderland library doing some primary research for my bachelor dissertation. Once I'd got everything I needed I went to a Wetherspoons round the corner for a pint and ham, egg and chips.
Being a stranger in a foreign city, I'd made a point of being as polite as possible to the quite attractive barmaid (she was a solid 7/10), whilst not being overbearing. She, used to the grunting and the bustling one comes to expect from a 'Spoons, seemed genuinely appreciative of my uncommonly good manners despite my commonly average face, and for the remainder of my visit gave me preferential treatment.
In those three quarters of an hour I was sitting there pondering, fantasising like you do, about a life together with this bonny young lady, and how I would initiate such an arrangement.
But I had to get the next Megabus back to Manc, and those daydreams remained just that.

Lee's going to tell me now that Geordies don't come from Sunderland, but y'know, Chinese, Japanese...

I know three people that have worked in that Wetherspoons.

 

[Tastycles]

I know a number of Geordies in laaandan.

She's a year older than you and went to your uni, but she doesn't know you, I don't think.

 

[Барбоса]

Living so close to my regular watering hole seems to preclude me having any good drinking stories these days beyond "We had a (few/skinfull) and were (buzzed/shitfaced)."

That and I am naturally boring.