Motaste Junk - Stop your brain thinking for 168 seconds
- Thread starter Tastycles
- Start date
Tastycles' absurd situation of the day:
Left Lee's, went to Leeds to see my mate. My mate had to go to work, so I had to do something else, ended up in a girl from school's shared house. But she's gone to bed, so I'm sitting in the living room on my own while people I don't know walk about. After the England highlights have finished I'm going to walk into Leeds city centre and my mate's bar and sit on my own till he finishes work at 4 in the morning.
Left Lee's, went to Leeds to see my mate. My mate had to go to work, so I had to do something else, ended up in a girl from school's shared house. But she's gone to bed, so I'm sitting in the living room on my own while people I don't know walk about. After the England highlights have finished I'm going to walk into Leeds city centre and my mate's bar and sit on my own till he finishes work at 4 in the morning.
So, got drunk, paid friend £20 for stealing Mr. Blobby's head, left bar. Tried to get back in bar, wasn't allowed. Went to bar over the road briefly, remembered my mate was still inside. Tried to get into club round the back, following last week's success, couldn't find way in. Climbed over wall, saw what appeared to be solid ground, jumped.
Fucking canal, wasn't it?
Tried to get in club soaking wet, obviously not allowed. Eventually found friend (kicked out of the club, naturally) having tried to get in the staff door for about 20 minutes by entering random codes. For the record, the code to get into Lava/Ignite staff entrance in Oxford is not 1066 or 1234. Get taxi to his house, where I sleep under tiny blanket. Said "can I borrow some shorts" he says "yep, these" "are they clean" "only worn them a couple of times".
Wake up this morning to find that they are boxer shorts. Which is nice. Realise I need to borrow clothes.
"Have you got any tracksuit bottoms?"
"No, I only have one pair of jeans"
"You only own one pair of trousers?"
"Yes"
"Can I borrow them to go to the charity shop?"
"Yes"
My friend is so thin he makes Sam look like Johnny Vegas. Eventually able to get them on enough that they look like actual clothes, or at least like clothes Russell Brand might wear. Next shoes. His don't fit, so I have to use some flipflops from the living room. His housemates are all female, so you can imagine what they look like.
Get to Dr. Bernado's find some fetching Puma three-quarterlengths, changing room, they fit better than the jeans anyway, so go to the till still wearing them.
"Can I buy these trousers I'm wearing?"
"Yes"
"Thanks, it's a long story"
"That'll be £4.99... ...this £20 is wet, is that the long story?!"
"Yes. I see you also have shoes, I'll take these [slightly too small shoes] please"
"£3.99"
I then got the bus to London, and have been to the Apple store on Regent street whilst wearing three-quarterlengths and shoes which bear a resemblance to both trainers and brogues. Finally at home, in my three-quarterlengths, which still have the Dr. Bernado's tags on them.
Fucking canal, wasn't it?
Tried to get in club soaking wet, obviously not allowed. Eventually found friend (kicked out of the club, naturally) having tried to get in the staff door for about 20 minutes by entering random codes. For the record, the code to get into Lava/Ignite staff entrance in Oxford is not 1066 or 1234. Get taxi to his house, where I sleep under tiny blanket. Said "can I borrow some shorts" he says "yep, these" "are they clean" "only worn them a couple of times".
Wake up this morning to find that they are boxer shorts. Which is nice. Realise I need to borrow clothes.
"Have you got any tracksuit bottoms?"
"No, I only have one pair of jeans"
"You only own one pair of trousers?"
"Yes"
"Can I borrow them to go to the charity shop?"
"Yes"
My friend is so thin he makes Sam look like Johnny Vegas. Eventually able to get them on enough that they look like actual clothes, or at least like clothes Russell Brand might wear. Next shoes. His don't fit, so I have to use some flipflops from the living room. His housemates are all female, so you can imagine what they look like.
Get to Dr. Bernado's find some fetching Puma three-quarterlengths, changing room, they fit better than the jeans anyway, so go to the till still wearing them.
"Can I buy these trousers I'm wearing?"
"Yes"
"Thanks, it's a long story"
"That'll be £4.99... ...this £20 is wet, is that the long story?!"
"Yes. I see you also have shoes, I'll take these [slightly too small shoes] please"
"£3.99"
I then got the bus to London, and have been to the Apple store on Regent street whilst wearing three-quarterlengths and shoes which bear a resemblance to both trainers and brogues. Finally at home, in my three-quarterlengths, which still have the Dr. Bernado's tags on them.
FunKay the Inevitable
People Like Me, We Don't Play
I've always suspected she was a cat in human form. She seems so easily distracted by anything.
http://www.cafc.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10267~2536954,00.html
I don't know anything about anything about football, but I do have a Charlton season ticket and I'll be damned if I ain't going to this.
I don't know anything about anything about football, but I do have a Charlton season ticket and I'll be damned if I ain't going to this.
ÐаÑбоÑа
doesn't know REAL wrestling...
Has happened to me too; although she did not end up staying because she proceeded to ask the question "Are you just going to sleep on the floor then?"
