Motaste Junk - Stop your brain thinking for 168 seconds

[Lee]

I got EMA, my school was one of the first in the region to do it. What was awesome was if you had good attendance you got a bonus end of the term, that bonus was set by the council, given to the school to be split between everyone who qualified.

Aside from I went to school in Gateshead and I was the only Newcastle guy who qualified, so I ended up with £200 bonus each term....nice.

 

[Tastycles]

Oh yeah, I got a bonus too. It's pretty hard not to have 100% attendance when you live there.

 

[Lee]

Yeah our bonus was if you had over 85% attendance, school average was 95% so it wasn't hard

 

[Tastycles]

If you want to see my lecturer, turn on BBC 2 on. He's chatting to Ben Miller. He's not a physicist, he's a historian.

 

[Tastycles]

BBC Three, Jaime "Donkey Punch" Winston is presenting Is Oral Sex Safe? She's no Paxman, put it that way.

 

[Dave]

Her journalistic prowess is not really what she is known for.

 

[Tastycles]

It must have been her oral sex career that got her the job.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Like Davina McCunt. I hate her so much that she makes me lose my icy cool. Bizarre, isn't it?

 

[Tastycles]

Not really, she's quite apalling. I tend to go for the calm collected thought of "yeah, you're on TV, but I didn't suck Eric Clapton's cock for drug money".

 

[Tastycles]

There's a film on the sci-fi channel in 10 minutes called "Titanic 2"...

 

[Lee]

Ah Titanic II it's set in 2012 and has Shane Van Dyke in it

 

[Tastycles]

Shane Van Dyke? Fuck me. Even Barry would be better than that.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

Dear Tastycles,

Please make Liverpool stop losing.

Mintberry Crunch

 

[Tastycles]

Would if I could...

 

[Tastycles]

The football league show is enforcing my hatred of positive discrimination. There's a female commentator, which is fine, except she's fucking shit. As in, worse than listening to Motson and Tildsely bumming whilst Jim Beglin offers analysis.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Her intonation was definitely a bit weird, but I'm unsure if that's because she was a woman or just a bit shit.

 

[Tastycles]

I'm watching the NFL now, and the way its presented is so alien to our sports. I can't imagine Clive Tildsely stopping half way through a match and saying "Don't forget to watch the X-Factor this week", but that appears to be normal.

 

[Tastycles]

Woke up in my bed wearing everything I came home in, including coat, except for my jeans. Smooth, Gareth, smooth.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'd say that sounds like a fun night, only it sounds like you'll be remembered for taking your jeans off in public from now on.

 

[Tastycles]

No, I wasn't even that drunk. I came in, took my jeans off, lied in the bed on the phone, finished the call then thought "for fuck sake, don't fall asleep." Failed, obviously.

 

[Phoenix]

At least you didn't fall asleep during the phone call. I remember being drunk and on the phone once and then all was a blank, I was told the next day that I fell asleep during the call, that's the first and only time for me.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Mason Ryan spoke some Welsh on RAW. Or he could have had something in his throat. No, seriously. I wasn't really paying attention so he could have just been speaking English while a little bit hoarse.

 

[Tastycles]

I haven't seen it all yet. He's from North Wales, but they bill him from Cardiff. To the Americans, that's like billing someone from Seattle from Miami.

In other news, saw someone get run over by a cyclist on my way home. Both of them went fully down, it was ace. Naturally, it was the female pedestrian's fault. Women just don't know the green cross code rule, do they?

 

[Uncle Sam]

I got hit by a motorcycle recently. Damaged my jacket. I was seemingly in shock for about a minute. Then I just put my iPod on and all was well. Thanks, Apple.

I still don't fucking know where Wade Barrett's from. Next door for all I know.

 

[Tastycles]

Somewhere in Lancashire. Preston rings a bell. They probably announce it as "Preston, Yorkshire" or something. Finlay was briefly from "Belfast, Ireland", and I think I've even heard Rob Terry being announced from "Wales, England"

EDIT - Just heard Mason Ryan speaking Welsh on Raw. I imagine I might be the only person in the world in the middle of the "Welsh speakers" and "wrestling fan" Venn Diagram.