So there used to be this girl that went to my shows who hid out in the back of the clubs and stared at me incessantly. She looked sort of an Egyptian/Spanish mix and was kind of sloppy looking. Granted, she tried to look good... wore makeup, dressed decently, she put in the work. But God don't cure ugly, you know? Plus, according to others, she smelled kind of funny.
Anyway, she'd attend every show of mine and I never formally met her because she was too shy to talk to me. However, at one particular show, I realized that she never spoke to me because she did enough talking on her own to others. I'll explain...
One of my good female friends said she was in the bathroom doing her business when she overheard a conversation between the psycho and a few other girls. The other girls were talking about how hot I was and how they were going to hit on me after the show. Meanwhile, the psycho was listening in and decided to add:
Psycho: "Oh no you won't."
Others: "Why not?"
Psycho: "Because he's coming home with me."
Others: "And what makes you so sure?"
Psycho: "Because he's been fucking me for months and his dick is incredible!"
The other girls walked out in disgust.
Naturally, my friend grabbed me after my set and told me the whole thing. Then, she took me over to the "other" girls so I could verify the story. They did and I was FUMING. I walked up to the psycho with all of the girls in tow and said:
"So, you've been fucking me for months? My dick is incredible? It's amazing how you come to all of my shows, hide in the back, have never spoken to me before, you say that to complete strangers in the ladies bathroom, and I would never touch you with HIS dick and HIM pushing (pointing to two different guys standing by her.) So why don't you do yourself a favor and take your nasty, fat, troll ass out of this club and never come around again!"
She stood there frozen for a minute while the crowd around her laughed their asses off. Then she actually tried defending herself in front of the other girls like it wasn't true while they verbally ripped her to shreds. Then, after a few seconds of silence, she said "Well that's fine because I wouldn't fuck you anyway." And the other girls just lit her up and started screaming things like "that's not what you told us in the bathroom!!" as she walked out the door.
Ironically enough, my brother also used to be a singer. Well, the next time I saw the girl was at one of his shows about two years later. And from what I heard, she did the same thing to him, too!!
True story, man.
