Would you be pissed? (Rape is Bad, M'kay?)

Fair enough, I understand that sometimes it truly isn't worth it. Yeah you shouldn't have said that but at least you can see that now. Now that's over, the only important thing for you is that need to start with a clean slate regarding women or things will only get worse. It's vicious circle of craziness, you meet one like you ex and when they're gone you find yourself on the internet raging about mini-skirts and too many people carry that anger into their next relationship, which is even worse because now there are 2 crazy people together, and on it goes. Women in general are crazy, seriously just... nuts and I've long since stopped trying to understand them as a gender but as individuals, they're a glorious pain in the arse.

Yeah i know i need a new start, just takes time, you know? thing is, she works where i work, albeit nights now, but still, with all i did in public, its just gonna be awkward around her friends mostly and esp her if that happens which i hope it doesn't...
 
Yeah, but don't turn into Jack the Ripper or something. Just because she did it to you doesn't mean you need to hate women forever or something. I highly doubt that rape had anything to do with how crazy she was. Not all women are that crazy. Probably.
 
Yeah, but don't turn into Jack the Ripper or something. Just because she did it to you doesn't mean you need to hate women forever or something. I highly doubt that rape had anything to do with how crazy she was. Not all women are that crazy. Probably.

Yeah, i don't plan on or want to be like Jack. You think she was just crazy and a bitch in general? I thought it was just the rape that made her that but who knows...
 
Yeah, the month leading to our break up, she was kicked out of her house by her parents and her two future roomies turned on her(or at least that's what I know and have read anyways about that whole thing)...
 
Yeah dude. I spent six months of my life this year trying to get her to like me, to be close to her. Even after she told me about the rape and told me we were just "good friends". Yet she would always contradict herself. She would say she missed someone that got fired but when its me whose done nothing but be there for her and make her laugh, she says, "Ill feel sad, but i won't miss you".

It's a guard against getting close to anybody. The first six months I spent with my ex were fairly traumatic for both of us as we got to know each other, and so many times she'd break down and say something along the lines of "You're my best friend/I need you/I love you" and then disappear for 2 weeks after so we never got to talk about it. Infact in the 5 years I was with her, those times when her guard was down are the only time she ever spoke about her feelings for me and I get that, because she was and is so terribly vulnerable and afraid of letting anyone in and losing control.

Also, she lied to me: she said in a txt: "I haven't dated in forever, five years...why would I start now?" Yet in her notes, you know those check box's chain spammy things? She didn't check the box that said she stayed single for the year. And that was last year.

It's human nature to want to forget previous relationships that haven't worked out. I've done that myself
 
I think there's a good chance it wasn't the rape, or just the rape. That story about the kicking out and turning on could've either made her more crazy, or she was crazy and made that up. Either is a choice. Since I didn't know her before or after, I can't comment with too much speculation on my end.
 
It's a guard against getting close to anybody. The first six months I spent with my ex were fairly traumatic for both of us as we got to know each other, and so many times she'd break down and say something along the lines of "You're my best friend/I need you/I love you" and then disappear for 2 weeks after so we never got to talk about it. Infact in the 5 years I was with her, those times when her guard was down are the only time she ever spoke about her feelings for me and I get that, because she was and is so terribly vulnerable and afraid of letting anyone in and losing control.

Yeah, she never did that with me. In fact, she seemed pissed off when I would say, like for example when she turned too booze for the first time, after preaching for a shit load of time she never would I said, "idk, i just think there are better ways to handle problems, but to each their own". Sure, maybe she was drunk, but all it did was make her think that i was somehow doing something wrong, that everything "negative" had to be attacked like a mad dog to protect her self. She just couldn't get that letting her guard down with me wasn't going to get her hurt. I just wanted to help her through the pain she was experiencing in life...



It's human nature to want to forget previous relationships that haven't worked out. I've done that myself

True. But if she says on a note: "I am honest with people and i want people to be honest with me" and then lie to me about certain things, then that makes her a liar and a hypocrite.
 
I think there's a good chance it wasn't the rape, or just the rape. That story about the kicking out and turning on could've either made her more crazy, or she was crazy and made that up. Either is a choice. Since I didn't know her before or after, I can't comment with too much speculation on my end.

I know she was kicked out. I've seen pics of her bringing stuff into the house. So either a fight broke between them, and she ran her mouth to the point that her parents got pissed off and said, "fuck you, get out" or she just wanted to be free from them telling her to be careful cuz she thinks "i've learned my lesson". As far as the room mate thing, i don't really know.

Just a physco bitch she was.
 
Yeah, she never did that with me. In fact, she seemed pissed off when I would say, like for example when she turned too booze for the first time, after preaching for a shit load of time she never would I said, "idk, i just think there are better ways to handle problems, but to each their own". Sure, maybe she was drunk, but all it did was make her think that i was somehow doing something wrong, that everything "negative" had to be attacked like a mad dog to protect her self. She just couldn't get that letting her guard down with me wasn't going to get her hurt. I just wanted to help her through the pain she was experiencing in life...

It really is all about control and truth be told, you're pretty much screwed whatever you do in that situation.
Typically if you criticize her, even slightly or in the most passive agressive way, she's going to take it as an attack or you trying to take control, which obviously is going to go down very badly. At the same time, if you do nothing she would have accused you or not caring. All you can really do is say "When you're ready to talk I'm here". With someone who has been raped, you pretty much have to give up any kind of control regarding them.
Oddly enough I've been in exactly the same situation and I fucked it up too.

True. But if she says on a note: "I am honest with people and i want people to be honest with me" and then lie to me about certain things, then that makes her a liar and a hypocrite.

Some things are easier said than done. Doesn't mean she's a liar, just means she can't be as honest as she wanted to be.
 
It really is all about control and truth be told, you're pretty much screwed whatever you do in that situation.
Typically if you criticize her, even slightly or in the most passive agressive way, she's going to take it as an attack or you trying to take control, which obviously is going to go down very badly. At the same time, if you do nothing she would have accused you or not caring. All you can really do is say "When you're ready to talk I'm here". With someone who has been raped, you pretty much have to give up any kind of control regarding them.
Oddly enough I've been in exactly the same situation and I fucked it up too.

Well, that's fucked up..I just don't think I ever wanna be put in that spot, cuz I try the best i can, to be there, how the fuck am i to know what to do with someone whose gone through shit ill never understand? Yeah, even when i made a comment when i didn't hear say thank you for something and im like, "your welcome" in a sorta sarcastic, funny way, and she looked at me and was like, "I said thank you!". Shit's fucked up. Why didn't I know this before? God damn, its like you have to do everything perfect and if you slip, well thing you're gone. It's just so mind numbing that I just can't understand it all...Can you understand why it began to bog me down? Always caring about her, wondering if she was alright, knowing that every day could bring a radically different attuide or situation. She puts herself in places she hates its like, what is real with you and what's not? So stupid...I can understand, but god, why did I get put in a spot to be hurt by an unstable women at a time when i didnt really need?(during college semster, specfically before mid terms...)



Some things are easier said than done. Doesn't mean she's a liar, just means she can't be as honest as she wanted to be.

Or maybe she just wanted to hide things and bury them? Make any sense here?
 
How the Fuck did I miss the drama fest?

Ok... While I understand both points, I'm going to say it; rgdestroyer, you're easily the most coneited man on these fourms. Period. You take one experience, which didn't go well, and you're applying it to every single woman, based off your bad experience. You're entitled to it... It just shows an extreme case of being self-centered. You, read, are not the authority on all things rape. Nor, as you've shown through this whole thing, an authority on anything to do with women. It's very evident you show signs of being caught in the pre-operational mind state, in which one can't allow themselves to think outside their own thoughts, and only apply their own experiences to everybody. It's your right to do that, and I can't do otherwise.

Just know that's also the habit of any child caught between the ages 6-10.
 
How the Fuck did I miss the drama fest?

Ok... While I understand both points, I'm going to say it; rgdestroyer, you're easily the most coneited man on these fourms. Period. You take one experience, which didn't go well, and you're applying it to every single woman, based off your bad experience. You're entitled to it... It just shows an extreme case of being self-centered. You, read, are not the authority on all things rape. Nor, as you've shown through this whole thing, an authority on anything to do with women. It's very evident you show signs of being caught in the pre-operational mind state, in which one can't allow themselves to think outside their own thoughts, and only apply their own experiences to everybody. It's your right to do that, and I can't do otherwise.

Just know that's also the habit of any child caught between the ages 6-10.

idk dude its just crazy that's all. Don't know much about what you said though.
 
Thanks for the wonderful contribution to the discussion sir. What ever could we have done without your six words of wisdom?

Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful I'm afraid. As usual.

Welcome to the fucking bar room.
 
Well, that's fucked up..I just don't think I ever wanna be put in that spot, cuz I try the best i can, to be there, how the fuck am i to know what to do with someone whose gone through shit ill never understand? Yeah, even when i made a comment when i didn't hear say thank you for something and im like, "your welcome" in a sorta sarcastic, funny way, and she looked at me and was like, "I said thank you!". Shit's fucked up. Why didn't I know this before? God damn, its like you have to do everything perfect and if you slip, well thing you're gone. It's just so mind numbing that I just can't understand it all...Can you understand why it began to bog me down? Always caring about her, wondering if she was alright, knowing that every day could bring a radically different attuide or situation. She puts herself in places she hates its like, what is real with you and what's not? So stupid...I can understand, but god, why did I get put in a spot to be hurt by an unstable women at a time when i didnt really need?(during college semster, specfically before mid terms...)

I totally understand, it made seriously ill when I went through it and the doctors couldn't work out why I was so stressed. I never told them it was her.
Fact is it's an impossible situation and things will go wrong. I don't know how to explain this... you kind of have to accept that things are screwed up and that you will get shouted at, even when you don't deserve it, and that it's no-one's fault. Gradually you find ways to work around each other. My girl always used to come back from college incredibly frustrated by every little thing, it took me a long time to stop trying to fix things (which only annoyed her more) and to just sit down and listen to her. As a man I'm not used to that, you come to me with a problem and I try to fix it, I think that's the way most men are but eventually you learn and things improve.

Or maybe she just wanted to hide things and bury them? Make any sense here?

That goes to what I last said. Sometimes it's preferrable to just pretend that last boyfriend of yours didn't exist.
 
I thought it was scarily pathetic when RG was raging and the mob were baying for blood. For me at least it's far more interesting now.

Not you. You're quite intelligent. I'm just talking about a lot of really, really stupid people saying some very very sad things in this thread.
 

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