Fucked up Stories by Gunnz

[Luther_Hull]

[QUOTE="Bad Ass" Johnny Gunnz;887521]Yes, I do have a wife and kids. This stuff all happened before I met my wife... I'm 26 now, I got married when I was 23. And no... Not calling me out. That, I don't mind. It's the douchebag "mod abuse".[/QUOTE]

Meh. It's the Bar Room, who cares?

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Fair enough...carry on. Hopefully your best stories are yet to come. If the sex stories get played out, it would be interesting to see a "Fucked Up Stories" by Gunnz. That way, you can tell us crazy shit that doesn't revolve around getting laid.

That's definitely fair enough... If a mod would be kind enough to change it to "stories" and remove the love, I'd have no problem with that. Kull... If you would be so kind, that would be awesome. And I'm sorry for calling you names...lol. It's all in good fun. and if you'd be kind enough to remove the "Never" part of the poll, I'd appreciate that as well... It's just mean...

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Thank you, whoever changed it. Tonight, I will tell you guys something that happened that doesn't involve sex!

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Here's one from High School...

So, one day I wore an orange shirt from Spencers, that said "ESCAPED CONVICT" on the back, had a prisoner number on the front, I had orange pants, and black shoes... Basically, looked like an inmate. (I think I had done it to piss off my science teacher who had given me shit the day before because of a shirt that said "TICKLE THIS ELMO" in giant letters, with a giant red arrow pointing at my crotch.) So...after school, I walk my girlfriend to the bus stop that's in front of the school... We make out for a lil while, she gets on the bus, goes home. As the bus pulls away, I notice across the street... A work furlough crew. All dressed just like me... I went home and nothing happened...until the next day. I got pulled out of 1st period, straight to the principals office. Apparently, some "Good Samaritan" decided to call the jail and let them know that one of their prisoners was making out with a high school student. They described me and the one guy on the crew who fit the description was stripped of furlough privileges and thrown into solitary confinement. Guess who got in trouble! I had to write an 800 word letter of apology to the warden, the inmate who was mistaken as me, and to the school for the trouble. Looking back, I call bullshit. I mean, Why'd they have to have the work crew in front of a goddamn school?? Dressed like me, for that matter?
Moral? If you don't want to be stereotyped, don't dress like a goddamn inmate...

 

[Jonny B]

[QUOTE="Bad Ass" Johnny Gunnz;887479]Honestly, I don't give a damn if they shat gold and gave everybody some... I still haven't encountered anybody (Short of SlyFox) that does shit like this...[/QUOTE]

I'm surprised someone didn't do it earlier to be honest

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

I'm surprised someone didn't do it earlier to be honest

Apparently, most people took it for it's face value. Didn't make quite such a big deal about it... As most of us who have now moved on!

 

[Jonny B]

I'd hardly say a post with the definition of fiction is making a big deal, or Luther changing the Poll or me telling Luther that I fucking love him for doing it.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

After looking at Y 2 Jake's sig pic, does anybody else find it disturbing that Ed Leslie was Warriors' "Disciple" in WCW years later?

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Well...after watching fromthesouth and NorCal mull over what to do at this party FTS is supposed to be going to, It got me thinking. I think I already told you guys this one, but hey...whatever...

About a year ago, a buddy of mine came up to visit from Florida, and one night, we went out to this grubby bar to watch some buddies' band play. They take a break and we all head outside to smoke, drink, socialize, start fights...whatever. I'm out there talking to my buddy and a couple of random people and some big ass, burly, cow lookin bitch comes over and interrupts our conversation... She starts talking to my friends, who judging by the looks on their faces, have no clue who this girl is... So, I calmly turn to her, look her in the face, and ask, "What the FUCK are you smoking? I want some of that shit... It must be good enough to make you not realize there's a conversation going on over here..." This bitch loses her mind... Starts SCREAMING at me about how her brother was a heroin addict and it was rude of me to ask her what drugs she's on...etc. I mean, this bitch is SCREAMING like someone just shot her... Starts going off on this tangent about her brothers heroin addiction, and I have no right to call her a junkie, and she starts pushing me... I told her I didn't give a shit if her brother died with a fucking needle sticking out of his ball sack, she had no right to interrupt me and my friends... At this point, I see my wife wading through the crowd, taking her ring off and passing her drink off to a friend. I KNEW my wife was fixing to knock this girls teeth out... but at that point, the bitch cocked back like she was gonna hit me, and on instinct, I fucking decked her....right in the mouth. Now, before you all get pissy and start bitching about me hitting a female....stop. You did NOT see this bitch. She makes Rosie O'Donnel look like Ashley Massaro... I was blocked in by a huge crowd of drunken ass, nosy people and had a wall behind me... Fuck that shit... I'm almost 100% certain that this bitch coulda whooped my ass, had she landed the first hit... Moral? Never assume someone is high... Even if they are, it isn't worth hearing somebody's life story, only for it to end in violence. And by violence, I mean you end up hitting a woman who's built like a fucking defensive lineman... And by defensive linemen, I mean this bitch coulda tackled a restaurant style refrigerator UP a flight of stairs...

 

[Christian Battlez]

[QUOTE="Bad Ass" Johnny Gunnz;890226]Well...after watching fromthesouth and NorCal mull over what to do at this party FTS is supposed to be going to, It got me thinking. I think I already told you guys this one, but hey...whatever...

About a year ago, a buddy of mine came up to visit from Florida, and one night, we went out to this grubby bar to watch some buddies' band play. They take a break and we all head outside to smoke, drink, socialize, start fights...whatever. I'm out there talking to my buddy and a couple of random people and some big ass, burly, cow lookin bitch comes over and interrupts our conversation... She starts talking to my friends, who judging by the looks on their faces, have no clue who this girl is... So, I calmly turn to her, look her in the face, and ask, "What the FUCK are you smoking? I want some of that shit... It must be good enough to make you not realize there's a conversation going on over here..." This bitch loses her mind... Starts SCREAMING at me about how her brother was a heroin addict and it was rude of me to ask her what drugs she's on...etc. I mean, this bitch is SCREAMING like someone just shot her... Starts going off on this tangent about her brothers heroin addiction, and I have no right to call her a junkie, and she starts pushing me... I told her I didn't give a shit if her brother died with a fucking needle sticking out of his ball sack, she had no right to interrupt me and my friends... At this point, I see my wife wading through the crowd, taking her ring off and passing her drink off to a friend. I KNEW my wife was fixing to knock this girls teeth out... but at that point, the bitch cocked back like she was gonna hit me, and on instinct, I fucking decked her....right in the mouth. Now, before you all get pissy and start bitching about me hitting a female....stop. You did NOT see this bitch. She makes Rosie O'Donnel look like Ashley Massaro... I was blocked in by a huge crowd of drunken ass, nosy people and had a wall behind me... Fuck that shit... I'm almost 100% certain that this bitch coulda whooped my ass, had she landed the first hit... Moral? Never assume someone is high... Even if they are, it isn't worth hearing somebody's life story, only for it to end in violence. And by violence, I mean you end up hitting a woman who's built like a fucking defensive lineman... And by defensive linemen, I mean this bitch coulda tackled a restaurant style refrigerator UP a flight of stairs... [/QUOTE]


lol thats pretty funny. besides it was self defense. no biggie

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Sadly, I wish that one WASN'T true... I wasn't proud of the fact that I hit her. But I feared for my life... It was almost like she had a flashback of a time when someone cut her on in the buffet line... I wasn't about to get hit like that...

 

[FromTheSouth]

I read that story and instantly thought of the beginning scene in Boondock Saints. "You can't do much damage with that, now can ya? Should've been the rule of wrist, yeah?"

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

I love that movie....I'm sure had my brother been there and she did hit me, he'd have knocked her out... He's 3 years younger than me, but a foot taller....I'm 5'6...

 

[Slyfox696]

[QUOTE="The Living Legend" Johnny Gunnz;887479]Honestly, I don't give a damn if they shat gold and gave everybody some... I still haven't encountered anybody (Short of SlyFox) that does shit like this...[/QUOTE]
I'm confused...probably because I didn't read the thread.

What do I do?

 

[48.7 is Approximately 49 Times Better Than You]

He felt that he was being personally attacked, just because someone didn't believe the stories.

 

[Slyfox696]

Oh, and I personally attack people? Cool

 

[klunderbunker]

What's funny about that is Sly rarely does attack personally. Actually I'm not sure if he ever has. It's almost always been their posting style.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

It's old news anyways, I'm over it. Slyfox only really dug into people who really deserved it, from what I've seen. I called him on it once and he reamed me back, so it was all fair I guess.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

He felt that he was being personally attacked, just because someone didn't believe the stories.

And this is not true. I said numerous times, I don't care if people believe me or not...it's their right. It was the shit that was talked that pissed me off...but again, I'm over it.

 

[SavageTaker]

idc wether the stories are true or not,they are entertaining.

You should make a book or something.

keep em coming.

 

[FromTheSouth]

I think they're true. If one of these things happen to you, they seem to come in bunches after that.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

My wife once invited a girl we met at a party over for a threesome...and on the way to my house, we had to pull her car out of a yard she had driven into (it was a wide turn and her lights weren't very bright...she slid down the 6 feet of gravel hill into the poor guys' yard) Well, the guy finally came out and offered to tow her back on to the road, and we continued on our journey. We got to the house and she had to leave real quick to take a friend of hers home that she had with her... After an hour of waiting, she called... Dumb bitch got lost on the way back and gave up... The moral? If you're going to pick someone up with the intentions of gettin freaky, implement some sort of IQ test... You don't want stupid people rubbing off (or on) you.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

wow. you really have to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror the day after getting lost on the way to a house to have a threesome. Time for a little life evaluation there.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

wow. you really have to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror the day after getting lost on the way to a house to have a threesome. Time for a little life evaluation there.

It's actually ok... I'm glad she got lost. I found out later she worked at Jack in the Box, and was a real bitch. Besides...I could never fuck the maker of my burger, fryer of my fries... Lunch would never be the same...