TNA Destination X 2012 LD

[Uncle Sam]

Coke could've maybe done with a few more minutes. Thanks anyway, gents.

Rashad Cameron? I'll pretend he's David Cameron's illegitimate son.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The entire X Division shits on Sin Cara. An odd amount of dead air tonight. I like to think that Borash and Tenay pause every now and then to stare at each other lustfully.

Sonjay Dutt becomes the Indian Low Ki with a backwards double footstomp. We nearly have enough for a rainbow coalition of Low Kis.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Virgin Media is gash. Nobody get suckered in. Yes, gash. I say that now.

 

[Uncle Sam]

My father's mother's maiden name is Brand. I could be related (albeit not blood related; my dad's adopted) to Russell Brand. The horror.

Sorry - ads. Aaand-- we're back.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Jesse Sorensen should be able to wrestle again. Fantastic. I sure hope the fellow who injured him doesn't get rewarded in any way tonight.

 

[Uncle Sam]

"You know, it's good to be able to feel anything." I laughed. Now I feel like a right cunt.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Zema versus Jesse has the opportunity to be a good little feud. This guy has got me believing in him. To a degree.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Guys, be cool. I think fucking Goku just came out.

 

[Uncle Sam]

His name is Flip Casanova and he does flips. I get it.

I actually have a Phillipino friend. Not gonna lie - its not Zema Ion. It's not a prostitute either though. Progress.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Black Low Ki and Indian Low Ki standing next to one another. This is too much.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Ads are on. Is that Kurt Angle? No, wait, it's the GoCompare bloke.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Just saw someone on another forum discussing Shawn Michaels vs. Bruce Lee. Discussion, inevitably, has become about Ric Flair's drooping breasts.

 

[Uncle Sam]

SoCal Val is not an attractive woman.

Kurt/Joe. Let's do it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Why does Kurt have "AGE" on his hips?

 

[Uncle Sam]

I hope Joe gets ten points - I've picked him like Madonna picks black children.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Ten points. Terrific! Know that Coke from earlier? Gotta go piss it out.

 

[Uncle Sam]

AJ sold that punch from Serge like a trooper. A kooper trooper.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Is this match in the BFG series? Is Daniels in the BFG series? I'm lost.

 

[Uncle Sam]

AJ's old theme returns. Oh my goodness! I might have a wank.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Oh God, it's everywhere.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Holy. Shit. That was actually pretty awesome.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The Greatest Facial Hair That Ever Lived. I always believed in him. In a way, I'm the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

Anyway, X Division title match next. I'm getting good match fatigue. Let's hope this one is shit.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Nah, that was pretty decent. I'm getting sick of this.

 

[Uncle Sam]

It's time.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Pitch perfect pay-per-view.

It's bed time.