enviousdominous
Behold my diction
Bookers seem to be forgetting that before their job requires them to put certain names forward because it would be appropriate to do so according to people behind the scenes, they have to make those kinds of transitions into actual stories. Forced circumstances aren't conducive to responsible storytelling.
So we have Sheamus, a heel. Why is he a heel? He kicked Dolph Ziggler! When did that happen? Fuck if I know, Dolph is doing some pointless angle with Lana at the moment.
Why else is he a heel? He gave a scathing analysis of less muscular performers! Really, it was this one time on Raw. Oh yeah, it's been done to death already by more over heels (HHH, Batista).
So what the fuck does Sheamus really bring to the show?
If he doesn't cash in right away and fuck up an already interesting program with Seth and Brock and sometimes Dean, then I guess he'll have to compete in another series of unremarkable feuds where his sole source of pride is the briefcase. Maybe he'll hit his opponents with the briefcase! That'll be fun, not really.
I've mentally wandered through every possible outcome. Sheamus turns face and announces when he'll cash in possibly making a triple threat title match with Brock and Seth, Sheamus stays a heel and picks up the pieces of whoever wins a barn burner of a title match. Maybe heel Sheamus announces when he'll compete and sticks to his guns to fool the smarks into believing that he'd cash in prior to an announced match anyway to stay traditionally heel. I'm boring the fuck out of myself.
I'm a John Cena hater, because hating John Cena is fun. I don't hate Sheamus, I'm 100% apathetic toward Sheamus. He doesn't inspire any kind of reaction out of me; he's the least nuanced character on a fucking pro-wrestling roster, and that's saying something.
All he does is talk with a thick accent and act like an ass, he's a former champion who's also the least noteworthy person on that whole fucking roster. I didn't think the WWE could make the money in the bank bonanza briefcase any less interesting but they sure as hell outdid themselves with this one. If you need me, I'll be watching NXT and GFW.
So we have Sheamus, a heel. Why is he a heel? He kicked Dolph Ziggler! When did that happen? Fuck if I know, Dolph is doing some pointless angle with Lana at the moment.
Why else is he a heel? He gave a scathing analysis of less muscular performers! Really, it was this one time on Raw. Oh yeah, it's been done to death already by more over heels (HHH, Batista).
So what the fuck does Sheamus really bring to the show?
If he doesn't cash in right away and fuck up an already interesting program with Seth and Brock and sometimes Dean, then I guess he'll have to compete in another series of unremarkable feuds where his sole source of pride is the briefcase. Maybe he'll hit his opponents with the briefcase! That'll be fun, not really.
I've mentally wandered through every possible outcome. Sheamus turns face and announces when he'll cash in possibly making a triple threat title match with Brock and Seth, Sheamus stays a heel and picks up the pieces of whoever wins a barn burner of a title match. Maybe heel Sheamus announces when he'll compete and sticks to his guns to fool the smarks into believing that he'd cash in prior to an announced match anyway to stay traditionally heel. I'm boring the fuck out of myself.
I'm a John Cena hater, because hating John Cena is fun. I don't hate Sheamus, I'm 100% apathetic toward Sheamus. He doesn't inspire any kind of reaction out of me; he's the least nuanced character on a fucking pro-wrestling roster, and that's saying something.
All he does is talk with a thick accent and act like an ass, he's a former champion who's also the least noteworthy person on that whole fucking roster. I didn't think the WWE could make the money in the bank bonanza briefcase any less interesting but they sure as hell outdid themselves with this one. If you need me, I'll be watching NXT and GFW.