Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[JGlass]

I'm checking out Baby Driver, Edgar Wright's new film, tonight. I have high, but unspecific expectations. I'll tell you how much I love it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I don't get to see it for another twenty-four hours so please be unspecific about how much you love it.

 

[JGlass]

If you don't love this movie, our friendship has been a lie.

Is that unspecific enough?

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Lot of pressure. January will be awkward.

Just letting you know for after Glass dumps you.....sleeping here is no picnic. My baby is a sociopath with no regard for human life.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Kids love my funny faces, which is just as well because I have nothing else to offer them.

 

[JGlass]

Sam can still stay with me. Breakfast might be awkward as we stare sadly into our morning oatmeal, nothing to say to each other, crushingly aware of the absence of the love we once had...

It will be fine.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Oh, good, I was worried you might not have oatmeal.

 

[JGlass]

Actually I usually don't, I was just trying to think of the saddest breakfast food. But I'd be happy to buy a tube of Quaker Oats just for you.

 

[Барбоса]

A Breaking Bad breakfast atmosphere

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. The Handmaiden ★★★★
2. Moonlight ★★★★
3. Baby Driver ★★★★
4. Free Fire ★★★★
5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 ★★★★
6. Colossal ★★★
7. Get Out ★★★
8. The Lego Batman Movie ★★★
9. Toni Erdmann ★★★
10. Jackie ★★★
11. Hidden Figures ★★★
12. Logan ★★★
13. Wonder Woman ★★★
14. Fate of the Furious ★★
15. Manchester by the Sea ★★
16. La La Land ★★
17. T2 Trainspotting ★★
18. Mindhorn ★★
19. Their Finest ★★
20. Alien: Covenant ★
21. John Wick: Chapter 2 ★

It probably would have been five stars if I was watching it for the second time. No, it doesn't make much sense to me either. It does transpire that I like odes to seventies chase movies much more than I do actual seventies chase movies, just like I prefer odes to John Carpenter movies to the actual thing, except for The Thing, which is perfect.

At least Edgar Wright gets to make original movies. Adam Wingard gets a Blair Witch remake and Death Note.

 

[JGlass]

I can accept you giving it 4 stars. It's an easy 5 for me, but I tend to be more flowery after seeing things in the theater. I absolutely plan on seeing this one again at least one more time, so I'm sure I'll have more insights with each viewing.

In the mean time, here are a few of my personal highlights...

Spoiler

The first scene was one of the coolest scenes I've ever... seen.
Not only do they introduce you to Baby, the coolest fucking dude on screen since James Dean, but it has one of the best car chase scenes I can remember and that SOUND MIXING. Which brings me to my next point...

THAT SOUND MIXING! Will be nominated for all sound-related Oscar, and I would imagine it will be a serious contender in any given category.

Speaking of sound, I thought the soundtrack was excellent. At first it reminded me of Guardians of the Galaxy in how important the music was to the protagonist and how it was both diagetic and non-diagetic, but I think that Baby Driver actually did it better. At the very least, the music is a far more interesting mix. Guardians soundtrack was great, but after a while it's like, "Here's another second tier 70s favorite!" where Baby Driver had a very nice mix of genres and time periods.

All the acting was fantastic, but if I had to rate the main characters in terms of how much they crushed it, the order would be: Lily James, Jon Hamm, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Ansel Egort

And last thing I'm going to gush about for now: When Jon Berenthal says,
"And if you never see me again, well it just means I'm dead." I knew as soon as he said that we weren't seeing him again, and I thought that was hilarious. I'd think back to it at various times during the movie and just start laughing. I wonder if there's any confirmation hiding somewhere in the movie that he got killed.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Okja ★★★★★
2. The Handmaiden ★★★★
3. Moonlight ★★★★
4. Baby Driver ★★★★
5. Free Fire ★★★★
6. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 ★★★★
7. Colossal ★★★
8. Get Out ★★★
9. The Lego Batman Movie ★★★
10. Toni Erdmann ★★★
11. Jackie ★★★
12. Hidden Figures ★★★
13. Logan ★★★
14. Wonder Woman ★★★
15. Fate of the Furious ★★
16. Manchester by the Sea ★★
17. La La Land ★★
18. T2 Trainspotting ★★
19. Mindhorn ★★
20. Their Finest ★★
21. Alien: Covenant ★
22. John Wick: Chapter 2 ★

Pete's Dragon meets Splice. In fact, I never did watch the director's cut of Pete's Dragon and I assume they had to cut it down from its original hard R, so maybe it's quite similar to that.

Koreans, man.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Whilst you're on Netflix, watch the Hulk Hogan courtroom drama they've just added.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

June

☆☆☆☆ The Red Turtle, Gifted and My Life as a Courgette
☆☆☆ My Cousin Rachel and Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
☆☆ Wonder Woman, The Mummy, The Time of Their Lives, Hampstead, Churchill and Transformers 5(?)

 

[Uncle Sam]

The lady won't let us double bill The Red Turtle and Life As A Courgette tomorrow. I don't think she understands the list.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Your life is incomplete if you don't see them. Sell it to her as the shortest double bill she'll ever see.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Courgette this Sunday, The Red Turtle... never? We'll see.

I'm watching that Hulk Hogan/Gawker documentary now. Them pumping it so full of Donald Trump footage makes the Hulkster seem infinitely likeable.

1. Okja ★★★★★
2. The Handmaiden ★★★★
3. Moonlight ★★★★
4. Baby Driver ★★★★
5. Free Fire ★★★★
6. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 ★★★★
7. Colossal ★★★
8. Get Out ★★★
9. The Lego Batman Movie ★★★
10. Toni Erdmann ★★★
11. Jackie ★★★
12. Hidden Figures ★★★
13. Spider-Man Homecoming ★★★
14. Logan ★★★
15. Wonder Woman ★★★
16. Fate of the Furious ★★
17. Manchester by the Sea ★★
18. La La Land ★★
19. T2 Trainspotting ★★
20. Mindhorn ★★
21. Their Finest ★★
22. Alien: Covenant ★
23. John Wick: Chapter 2 ★

If you're going to be a John Hughes movie, be a John Hughes movie. I don't mean by showing the bit you're doing a direct homage to on a TV screen. How many times must they make me watch a different version of Iron Man?

All my hopes hang on Thor Ragnarok.

Edit: "No, seriously, I do not have a ten inch penis". Why do you make me watch these things?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Hulk Hogan, all American hero, has a 10 inch penis. Terry Bollea, the man behind the mask, a good 5.5.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The internet is awash with attractive people having sex, you're not going to lure me into analysing the penis of a man who looks like He-Man spliced with a hot dog.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Hulk Hogan talking about the difference between his kayfabe and shoot penis has nothing on Peter Thiel literally wanting to move to Rapture.

 

[nightmare]

The internet is awash with attractive people having sex, you're not going to lure me into analysing the penis of a man who looks like He-Man spliced with a hot dog.

This may, in fact, be the first ever sig quote I use. Simply due to laughing so hard I dropped my phone.

 

[Uncle Sam]

There's nothing funny about the truth.

1. Okja ★★★★★
2. The Handmaiden ★★★★
3. Moonlight ★★★★
4. Baby Driver ★★★★
5. Free Fire ★★★★
6. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 ★★★★
7. Colossal ★★★
8. Get Out ★★★
9. My Life As a Courgette ★★★
10. The Lego Batman Movie ★★★
11. Toni Erdmann ★★★
12. Jackie ★★★
13. Hidden Figures ★★★
14. Spider-Man Homecoming ★★★
15. Logan ★★★
16. Wonder Woman ★★★
17. Fate of the Furious ★★
18. Manchester by the Sea ★★
19. La La Land ★★
20. T2 Trainspotting ★★
21. Mindhorn ★★
22. Their Finest ★★
23. Alien: Covenant ★
24. John Wick: Chapter 2 ★

Sixty-six minutes at a dog-friendly screening. Well I never! Needless to say, my preconceptions were shattered.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Dog-friendly?

 

[Lee]

Fuck off, can people not just leave their dog at home? Bad enough that they've ruined my three local pubs.

 

[JGlass]

Huh, here in the US a bar being dog-friendly is a huge selling point. To that point, there's a cafe down the street from me called the Kawii Kitty Cafe, and they charge an admission fee on top of charging for beverages.