Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Mighty NorCal]

I'm quite a fan, personally, because it allows me a chance to make someone's day for doing a good job, or to shit on someone for acting like a jerk.

Probably a cultural thing though.

 

[Барбоса]

I'm quite a fan, personally, because it allows me a chance to make someone's day for doing a good job, or to shit on someone for acting like a jerk.

I would have no problem if that was what tipping still was - an extra pat on the back for a job well done.

Instead, it has become a mandatory additional charge that you get looked down upon for not giving even when it is not deserved and worse than that, it has become how many workers are actually paid...

As I said, a broken system.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Just the tip.

 

[Барбоса]

"Are you going to pay for that?"

 

[Tastycles]

I have three mutual friends on Facebook with your girlfriend. Only one of them is you.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Please don't sleep with her.

 

[Tastycles]

I have a beard that is three different colours at the moment. I don't think I'll be sleeping with anyone for a while.

 

[Lee]

I didn't sleep with that lady...I was up all night.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I mean, I was, but only because I'm not used to sharing a bed. Jake strikes me as a lone sleeper.

 

[Lee]

Empire gave Jurassic World a four star review, meaning it could be anything from absolute shite to half decent.

I loved it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I liked it (with a big asterisk, which I'll explain later).

 

[Lee]

Oh dialogue wasn't a masterclass, you had to suspend belief a lot but it was bloody well fun.

 

[Tastycles]

You had to suspend belief in a film about dinosaurs walking around with people? I won't stand for it!

 

[Lee]

You had to suspend belief in a film about dinosaurs walking around with people? I won't stand for it!

You'd be surprised how many reviews have stated it wasn't believable at places. Bloody idiots.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Sam, I share a bed but she has to sleep in the few bits I'm don't. She complains. I show her where the sofa is.

Jurassic World is my film of the year so far. Is it more fun than Mad Max? I'm trying to convince myself it is.

 

[Lee]

Sam, I share a bed but she has to sleep in the few bits I'm don't. She complains. I show her where the sofa is.

Jurassic World is my film of the year so far. Is it more fun than Mad Max? I'm trying to convince myself it is.

I've not seen Mad Max but it was great fun.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Mad Max was more fun in a "well wouldn't everyone go nuts in a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland?" way and did some impressive visual shit without an overdose of cg effects.

Jurassic World was fun in a "well, this is all quite daft but at least they aren't dinobots" way.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Mad Max: Fury Road ★★★★★
2. It Follows ★★★★
3. Whiplash ★★★★
4. Ex Machina ★★★
5. Jurassic World ★★★
6. Avengers: Age of Ultron ★★★
7. Fast & Furious 7 ★★★
8. Kingsman: The Secret Service ★★★
9. Inherent Vice ★★
10. Big Hero 6 ★★

Jurassic World is a love letter to Jurassic Park, albeit a clumsily written one that's not really sure what it loves about Jurassic Park.

The romance angle was straight from a 50s b-movie (meaning it's either charming or sexist, depending on your leaning) and it has that horrible habit of the script pointing out its own shortcomings as if that makes them disappear. Nick from New Girl is in there as an obvious audience surrogate, which I actually quite liked.

The first two thirds of the movie were, at best, fine. The last third where it just goes "Fuck it!" and throws everything at the wall regardless of whether it makes any sense is just euphoric.

Edit:

Spoiler

Everything after the assistant gets killed in the most prolonged, brutal way possible is gold, basically.

 

[Lee]

Spoiler

I loved the bit when they get on the gyroballs just for the guy running the ride. Exactly what it would be like, even he as a late teen/early 20s is going through the motions in Jurassic World.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Spy is fantastic.

Miranda Hart does her best to ruin it by spraying her stench all over the thing but it survives. Out of Bret, Owen, Stu, Jimmy and Jim Neid, Miranda is definitely my least favourite Hart.

I'd belittle her further by pointing out how action movie star Jason Statham is comfortably funnier than her but he's also comfortably funnier than everyone in the film.

I need to watch the Crank films again. The scene where a Japanese man talks to him in the lift and he has to read the subtitles...

 

[Uncle Sam]

Actually, I don't really like Bruce Hart.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Mad Max: Fury Road ★★★★★
2. Spy ★★★★
3. It Follows ★★★★
4. Whiplash ★★★★
5. Ex Machina ★★★
6. Jurassic World ★★★
7. Avengers: Age of Ultron ★★★
8. Fast & Furious 7 ★★★
9. Kingsman: The Secret Service ★★★
10. Inherent Vice ★★
11. Big Hero 6 ★★

Go to hell, Big Hero 6, you big bland turd of a movie - get out of my top ten.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Is The Stath everything I want him to be?

 

[Uncle Sam]

And more.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Mad Max: Fury Road ★★★★★
2. Spy ★★★★
3. It Follows ★★★★
4. Whiplash ★★★★
5. Slow West ★★★
6. Ex Machina ★★★
7. Jurassic World ★★★
8. Avengers: Age of Ultron ★★★
9. Fast & Furious 7 ★★★
10. Kingsman: The Secret Service ★★★
11. Inherent Vice ★★
12. Big Hero 6 ★★

I admire how concise Slow West is but, at the same time, feel it could have been a bit more substantial, which makes no sense. There's some really nice touches and it's quite subversive at times. It reminded me vaguely of Blood Meridian.