Chapter 1: Yet another new beginning
I'm always rather conflicted when it comes to the issue of originality in the Pokemon franchise. On the one hand, traipsing along the exact same steps over and over again gets rather monotonous, but on the other hand, if I wanted an original and creative experience I wouldn't be playing Pokemon.
Basically I just the beginning of the game on three scales. Is it interesting? How long does it take? And Can I have my fucking running shoes please? To give some context; Red and Blue score points for not taking very long, but are as dull as you can get. Gold and Silver and interesting but take fucking ages to remove your training wheels. Ruby and Sapphire get things about right, but the running shoes come far too late. I've written these questions in advance of turning the game on, so we shall find out together how the game does.
Apparently there is no option to have a non-******ed haircut in this game, but assuming the female character conforms to basic female anatomy there is no way that her backside is not on display as she walks considering the length of her skirt. As such I elect to be a young man named Gel (the garin won't fit). I always give my rival a douchy name for reasons of personal motivation, so the older boy next door gets to be named Boyd.
The game proper opens with an unskippable cut-scene earning it perhaps the fastest black mark of any entry into the Pokemon franchise. I finally take control of my unbelievably hideous sprite, change the options to make everything run as quickly as humanly possible and the check my trainer ID. It ends with a 4, which means I get the water starter this is nice since its the only one of the three that I'd consider keeping for my party. We'll talk more about him/her later.
This generations mother scores very highly on the 'demanding bitch' front and very low on the 'interesting opening' front. I'm sent hunting for some chick so that she can give me a pokemon. Could my mother's grandchild production scheme be any less subtle? I find Bianca and she has something terrible wrong with her face; possibly we will learn what this is as the game progresses, but I wouldn't hold your breath I think they are supposed to be glasser frames; but she looks like she's just been glassed. Just like that she gives me the first member of my team.
Pellinore - Oshawott (Lv5)
I don't like Oshawott or any of its forms, but it's a decent battler and will serve as a surfer in the long term. Right now I am on the fence about if I want him for my final party, which is not a great position to be in with a water pokemon. Mast of the capture opportunities for water Pokemon will come later in the game (I expect) by which time I will have been forced wither to commit to or ignore my starter. I'm going to punt this decision up-field for now and deal with it later. It could have been worse, I could have been stuck with Snivy (my favourite, but completely unviable for a Nuzlocke run).
I give Boyd a harshly deserved lesson in how to choose tackle every turn and all of a sudden we're in full blown tutorial mode. I want to die; thus far this is the worst opening to a Pokemon game I can remember, though I am at least handed Running Shoes and Pokeballs with refreshing promptness. As stated in the rules, I won't be using shops, so Pokeballs will become an incredibly cherished resource, especially with me not knowing where all the hidden items are.
Jesus fucking christ, I can't toggle Running Shoes on and off any more, and will be forced to hold down B for the rest of the game. I really thought you and I had come to an understanding on this issue Pokemon; you don't restrict my ability to move at speed and I don't write angry letters to Congressional representatives talking about how you promote devil worship.
Route 19's Pokemon is a Patrat which I have no intention of catching. I always find Nuzlocke runs more enjoyable if I don't carry around a bunch of death fodder or fill my PC with unnecessary backups. I find the narrative is better if I only catch Pokemon I have some intention of using and since Patrat fucking sucks more from a practical and an aesthetic standpoint, it gets tackled until it stops moving.
Now we get our first introduction of why a blind Nuzloke run is so fuckin' difficult. Route 20 doesn't spit out a wild pokemon so I progress directly to Floccesy Ranch and stumble into a rival battle that I wasn't even slightly prepared for. His level 8 Snivvy vs my level 9 Oshawott, who isn't even on full health. The only reason I avoid an immediate game over is that he dropps Pellinore to 2HP, and then proceeds to leer at him until the battle concludes in my favour. That was a valuable wake up call that I'm going to need to be a lot more careful from here on.
In that spirit I decide to reassess my catching policy and to bolster my party a little regardless of what the RNG decides to offer me. I step back to Route 20 and am greeted with a Purlion I don't mind Purlion, it's fast and speed is very helpful. Drop it a couple of utility TMs and it'll make a valuable addition to my team. Unfortunately I accidentally kill it in one hit. This isn't going will. I spied some grass in Floccesy Ranch and decide to roll the dice one final time this time the capture is successful.
Guinevere - Pidove (Lv 7)
I don't hate Pidove, though it's inferiority to Pidgy, Spearow, Starly and basically every other basic level bird produced does rub me the wrong way. Still, it'll make a decent physical attacker and its speed isn't horrible, so it'll do for the moment. I have my eye on a Wargle later on in the run because I like Wargle so we'll see.
By the looks of it I'll get to stick around this area for a little bit, and nothing dramatically interesting is likely to happen any time soon. We seem to have slipped into the game proper without me really noticing, so I'll close this chapter with my final assessment of how it holds up.
The nicest thing I can say is that its short. It took very little time for me to be able to start doing stuff, which was good. That being said, it's the least interesting beginning to a Pokemon game since the very first generation, with no kind of story established beyond help your friend Boyd achieve his dream of owning a Town Map. Compared to the original Black and White, which were waving N in your face around this point, I have to say I'm disappointed.
Current Party
Pellinore - Oshawott (Lv5)
Guinevere - Pidove (Lv 7)
