[Official] CKD Wrestling Thread

[SavageTaker]

Oh, you thought you were going to be wrestling lol. No, I meant, you'll be cleaning the place up after we, the wrestlers, leave.

 

[Leafy]

JKO, I want this to come back.

 

[Kanye South]

Maybe for a one night show or something.

 

[Kanye South]

The decision is between CKD Wrestling one night shows every once in awhile or JKO Memoirs. Convince me on which one I should do.

 

[The Doctor]

CKD was one of the best things you've done on here. It was pure hilarity.

 

[Kanye South]

1 point for CKD One Night Stand.

 

[Leafy]

CKD

 

[Kanye South]

CKD Wrestling: Spamcore Reunion

CKD Wrestling is live and in charge, hello fans, I am Jim Simps-

We are interrupted, as we see Areoplex outside causing a ruckus.

New Admeenz on dubya zee! New Admeenz 4 the winzz!!!@ Fuck Slyfockz! Fuck FTs! Fuckk TM! Fuck em all! LONG LIVE JANNEZ! The revolution is here.

Areoplex holds up a sign:

The ruckus is swiftly stopped, as FTS and Lariat make the save, and demolish Areoplex with the bant hammer. We start the show with the special pyrotechnics we somehow managed to get for this one-night show. However, you can’t see them. Because this is a fake wrestling show on an internet forum! Bitch!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are sorry for that interruption, but we have just gotten word that Calvin Cash has a huge announcement to make in the ring. I am announcer Jim Simpson with my partner, JKO, and We now take you to the CKD ring.

It's been quite a while since we've had a show hasn't it?

Pics or it didn't happen.

And just like every other time we come back from a hiatus, there are some changes. First off, we are ending all guest hosts. That was fucking stupid, who even writes this shit?

Judging from the shitty self-depreciating humor, KillJoy did.

And also tonight, we are going to have a couple of matches. We are going to truly see who is the 'King Of The Prison when we pit Macca (Lifetime Anal Bitch) up against WWETributes (I Want To Suck Obama Off). And this will be no average match, no. We are going to have an authentic Prison fight, complete with each competitor holding a wet bar of soap. The first to drop this bar of soap will be viciously ass raped by the complimentary muscular gay prisoners, who got a free ticket to tonight's show, due to their 'good behavior', if you know what I mean...

The crowd boos his cheap gay humor.

Ok, ok, quiet down. Another match we have tonight is going to be for the CKD World Heavyweight Title. Our World Champion, Coco will face his comedy compadre, General Disarray. The undefeated GD will battle the reigning world champ, Coco in a match that will be known as a "Bust Da Funnyz" match. We'll have more on that later.

The crowd cheers.

Tonight is looking to be SRS BSNS!

Use txt talk again and I'll ban you. In real life.

Okay. Now recently, we all witnessed Luther step down from Admin. Well, out of respect for him...you know what? Fuck him. We always talk about how we need to respect the WZ Legends, well no. I think not. Guys like Sly and IC are always walking all over WZ, and it will not happen in my company. CKD Wrestling may keep Sly and IC25 as admins, but we need a third one. Instead of picking an over the hill, overrated, loser to be our next one. I'm going to hand pick a member who has never been on Staff. That's right. Someone who has never been on-

Jane comes out with Kanye South and Miko. The crowd cheers.

Calvin, Calvin, Calvin. You can go back to your precious little ****e-infested office. It is time for the Leader of the Jane World Order to speak.

Calvin leaves.

Yes. Thank you, Kanye. Now, my fellow Janenites and I have come to the conclusion that in order to put my world takeover into effect, I need to become admin. Now, originally, I was going to do it by force. But since Calvin Cash just made this gigantic announcement, I won't be needing these Asian tranny ****es. Bill, Anna, you may leave.

We see, erm, two "rough" looking humans (?) leave.

So, I'm not going to stay out here long, but here's all you need to know. By the end of the night, Jane will be admin.

So I guess Areoplex's interruption was prophetic, as by the end of the night, we are going to have a new CKD admin!

That Kanye South guy looks like a dirty wanker.

Match 1:
I Am Phenom vs. Undertaker the 5th
Singles Match

The match starts out with punches and kicks. Like every other wrestling contest in existence. We see some flips, some kicks, some shots to the head with a frying pan, and some other shit thats really not important. Except for when Undertaker the 5th asked the ref what in the bloody fuck was Canada. That amused me. Anyways, the finish comes when I Am Phenom hits the Crushing Underhook Neverending Torture (C.U.N.T.) on Undertaker the 5th. He gets the win.

Winner: I Am Phenom!

I Am Phenom gets on the mic.

I Am Phenom, and I'm....in love with Allen Iverson, Taylor Lautner, Halle Berry, and I would die for a guy date. Did I tell you I just had a guy date last night? Maybe I should start a thread on it.

^^^To keep you interested.

Match 2:
Macca w/ X and TDigle vs. WWETributes
Prison Match

Both competitors have a bar of soap in hand. If they drop it, they lose. Macca starts off the match by fucking PWNING WWETributes. He then pours a bucket of fail on his head. Macca seems to be in control but Doc, The WZ White Knight, comes to save him from the rain of Pwnage. This is a No-Disqualification match folks, remember. Macca lights Doc on fire, but Doc makes him a sig, so Macca puts it out. Bah Gawd! Bah Gawd! Macca just through WWETributes through a damn. Stone Cold! Stone Cold! WWETributes is tougher than a two-dollar steak! He's geting up, but Macca kicks the shit out of him. He drops the soap! Great day in the mornin'! WWETributes has dropped the soap! He's lost the match, and- oh my this is just vile. As Cash promised, there is a muscular gay man sticking his peen into WWE Tributes! That is what X would call some immense butthurt.

Winner: Macca!

Macca grabs the mic.

This should be a lesson to all of you: Use lube, bitch.

He throws down the mic and leaves.

Johnny Coacham is backstage with some potential admins.

Hi, I'm Johnny Coacham and I'm here with some of our potential admins.

What do they pay me for?

What do all of you plan to impliment if you are chosen to be Admin?

I should be admin because I am the relentless debater, have 5,000,000 posts, and I will impliment a system to stop posters from making stupid bar room threads, even though I do the same with post count threads.

I should be admin because I will be The People's Admin. I will make sure every candy ass has at least 10 posts before they get admission into the Bar Room. I will make sure all jabronis will be bant with the quickness of a Photobucket upload, and if you post racism, homophobia, or sexism, then I will fucking JKO your ass. If ya smellllllllllllllllllllllllllll! What The Doc.... is cooking!

I should be admin because blah, blah, blah, prattle, prattle, prattle, rant, rant, rant, Vote 4 Baller, blah, blah, blah, prattle, prattle, prattle, rant, rant, rant, Vote 4 Baller, blah, blah, blah, prattle, prattle, prattle, rant, rant, rant, Vote 4 Baller, blah, blah, blah, prattle, prattle, prattle, rant, rant, rant, Vote 4 Baller, blah, blah, blah, prattle, prattle, prattle, rant, rant, rant, Vote 4 Baller. Baller Balls FTW.

I should be admin because I'm fucking Jane. Bitch.

I should be admin, because I'll be sure to make this place interesting..wink wink, nudge nudge!

Well there you have it folks-

Suddenly we have a loud crash. We turn around, and we see a Brock Lesnar plush toy in the middle of nowhere. The camera fades to black.

We return and it is time for the main event.

Main Event:
General Disarray w/ TLC vs. Coco
Bust Da Funnyz World Title Match

The match starts out with GD insulting Coco's posting skills. 10 points for GD. Coco rebounds by talking about GD's mother. 10 points for Coco. GD red reps Coco. Oh mah, that was serious. Coco is mad. GD posts a meme. Lee comes out with the bant hammer, but hits the referee on accident. Everyone is confused. Coco tries to take advantage and makes a poo joke. OH MY, EVERYONE CONSIDERS IT A FAIL AND THE FANS DECLARE GD THE WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.

Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: General Disarray!

Uncle Sam is looking on at GD.

Backstage, we see Calvin Cash getting ready to come to the ring.

Hello CKD fans. Tonight has no doubt been an exciting night. However, all night while you were out here enjoying the show, the CKD board of directors were in the back making a tough decision. I mean, it was so serious, KillJoy made a decent sig. That's how serious it was. So, with great pride, we announce to you..the new admin...

NOBODY! You all are so fucking stupid, you've been pranked by the CKD Staff.

The crowd is booing the loudest they ever have, and they are throwing trash into the ring. One woman attempts to blind Calvin by showing him her stretchy vaginal flaps. Calvin is going up the ramp, trying to escape, but Jane comes out. He punches Calvin and fights him all the way back to the ring. He beats Calvin into a bloody pulp as much as her can over an internet wrestling forum. He is about to hit his finisher, Jane > You, when Razor comes out. Razor destroys Jane. Jane can barely move. Calvin Cash gets up and hands Razor a stack of v-Cash and 3 e-pubes of rep. We go off the air. See us next week, people. Or not. Why in the fuck does your life revolve around a mini e-fed? Get a fucking life loser!​

 

[Theo Mays]

Awesome as usual. Though it could have used some Theo

 

[The Doctor]

Excellent. This is your true calling.

 

[Scotty]

What do I have to do to get in to this shindig on the next One Night Stand?

 

[Kanye South]

nothing. you'll be in it since you asked.

 

[Scotty]

nothing. you'll be in it since you asked.

Thank you. That was actually my first time reading one so I will probably be up most of the night reading the others. They are AWESOME!

 

[Kanye South]

Thanks.

 

[Mr. Dejan]

You JKO Imma let you finish, but WZCW is one of the greatest Wrestling programs ever written,, That Why I want in on it.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

Macca should have brought a speargun, other than that 7/5 stars, cause derp counting woo.

 

[gd]

About time.

 

[Triple K]

This interests me. It also interests Jonnie, but he got "suspended" (banned) for "using illegal substances" (spamming) for like a week. Potential tag team there. What's it take to get in?

 

[Razor]

A stack of v-cash and 3 e-pubes of rep? Fuck yes.

 

[Via Armbar]

You don't have to write me in it, but mention an armbar somewhere.

 

[TLC]

Yeah. GD with his trusty manager TLC are going to take over CKD.

 

[Miko]

Hmm, I made an appearance, pretty soon I'll be talking, then I'll be wrestling, then you'll all be sorry

Provided JKO puts that in of course, otherwise it's just empty promises

 

[Coco]

Stop burying me.

 

[gd]

We had to get you out of the way for my highly anticipated feud against Sam.

 

[Coco]

That should be exciting. You're like half of Sam's Legacy. Of course I don't mean that in the "you're part of a stable centered around being a blander version of a bland guy" way that I do when I speak about the real Legacy. Rather, you're Next Generation Sam. Nephew Disarray, if you will.