Not like I Expect Any of You Jive-Turkeys To Care, But....

[Big Papa Santo]

I'm back from my yearly 3 month hiatus from wrestling (and the forums). It was a nice trip, and I discovered many new things about my life, including but not limited to:

*My rekindled childhood love of comic books

*My wife's grandfather was a slave owner

*My baby gets to touch mommy's breasts more then me

*Brokeback Mountain made me cry

*I have a vagina

*My vagina speaks to me

*My vagina's name is Horatio

*Django Unchained was an awesome movie

And many, many more. Mostly including discoveries of new body parts and bastard children that I have fathered across the world.


Yup, a pretty self-enlightening hiatus this was. Well I'm back now. Actually it was by accident because yesterday some guy at my work was talking to me about the Royal Rumble and how it was today and I was like "Aw shiiiiiiittttt negro I gotz to watch dat" and here I am. So um yeah, welcome to the homecoming party and feel free to grab a club soda or a piece of lemon cake that my mother slaved over all day. Mazel tov.

 

[Moon Knight]

*My wife's grandfather was a slave owner

How old is your wife?

 

[Nate DaMac]

You're right, I don't care.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Fuck you! You should post more. God forbid we have someone around with a sense of humor. How much is parenthood the most rewardingly shitty experience in life? Did you marry the mom? Any run-ins with the Russian mafia?

Go fuck yourself.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

How old is your wife?

Who's asking? But I think that it was her great-great-great grandpappy.

 

[nightmare]

You discovered a new body part? You mean your vagina, or some other part that is not documented in science books?



Also, best RR return goes to Jericho.

2nd best. Santo. At least you got the #2 trophy. Horatio will be happy.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

You're right, I don't care.

I see that therapy is doing wonders!

 

[Big Papa Santo]

You discovered a new body part? You mean your vagina, or some other part that is not documented in science books?

I just know that its gooey and speaks to me in satanic languages.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Fuck you! You should post more. God forbid we have someone around with a sense of humor. How much is parenthood the most rewardingly shitty experience in life? Did you marry the mom? Any run-ins with the Russian mafia?

Go fuck yourself.

Girl I know I been bad to you, but I's different now baby I swear, that wife of mine? She a bottom ho, girl you know that I only got eyes for yo' sweet round thang. Now come over here and give daddy some suga'.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

You discovered a new body part? You mean your vagina, or some other part that is not documented in science books?



Also, best RR return goes to Jericho.

2nd best. Santo. At least you got the #2 trophy. Horatio will be happy.

Is that trophy long and thick and can fit into tight spaces? It is? Okay good, he'll love it.

 

[Moon Knight]

You're right, I don't care.

Why isn't your name bold anymore?

 

[Moon Knight]

Who's asking? But I think that it was her great-great-great grandpappy.

I am, for no other reason than her grandfather owning a slave seemed unlikely.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

I am, for no other reason than her grandfather owning a slave seemed unlikely.

Well I mean, her last name is Kony.

 

[Nate DaMac]

I had determined my response before I even read the thread.

And I'm not a mod anymore.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

And I'm not a mod anymore.

Its alright man, we all know that Lewinsky bitch wasn't telling the truth.

 

[Moon Knight]

I had determined my response before I even read the thread.

And I'm not a mod anymore.

I figured that, fishing for a reason why. Guess the fish aren't biting...or I am using the wrong bait.

 

[Bernkastel]

By Gawd, I'm surprised the KGB let you go. Sounds like you've had an interesting three months.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

By Gawd, I'm surprised the KGB let you go. Sounds like you've had an interesting three months.

I had to extract some operative of theirs from Somalia, no big deal.

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

HEY! I REMEMBER YOU!

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Wow, this crowd is really dead. Time for some jokes.

So Paul, whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

"What Santo?"

Well Paul, your job still sucks!

"Hahahahahahaha"

We'll be right back folks, up next is football star OJ Simpson, and then later we have mega movie star Wesley Snipes!

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Ladies and gentlemen, please help me in welcoming my first guest. Football star, movie star, and an all around great guy, OJ Simpson!............Hold on a second folks...

The fuck do you mean we couldn't get OJ?

Trial? What fucking trial?

Well then put Wesley up!

Tax evasion? Are you fucking serious?

God fucking damnit, Leno is going to be all over this

So, um......how about those Baltimore Colts going to the Superbowl? Huh?

 

[smizzy]

Jive Turkey is a little over the line, my man!

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Jive Turkey is a little over the line, my man!

You best be stepping off my brotha, my backhand is strong.

 

[nightmare]

Yeah, but what if he is standing behind you. It is useless then. Go with a Zangief Spinning Lariat. Cover all the bases. Plus if he shoots at you, the bullet will pass right through.



* knowledge brought to you by countless hours spent in the arcade. valuable life lessons for only quarters a day. *

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Wow, this crowd is really dead. Time for some jokes.

So Paul, whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

"What Santo?"

Well Paul, your job still sucks!

"Hahahahahahaha"

We'll be right back folks, up next is football star OJ Simpson, and then later we have mega movie star Wesley Snipes!

Dammit Santo! No "dead hooker" jokes while Vince McMahon is in still in the Vegas city limits. We don't need to tip off the authorities.