I Don't Get Christian

[Mark Henry's Beard]

Fuck him, in fact. I don't get the love he gets from the IWC. Is he a solid worker? Sure. But there are a myriad of other reasons why he absolutely fucking sucks.

While he may be a good worker, he isn't a BELIEVABLE worker. I don't think you have to be 6'4, 250 to be believable. Punk is believable. Bryan is believable. Christian is not. Skinny, no muscle definition. Doesn't look like he could kick your ass. And his offense is fucking RIDICULOUS. A spear? Seriously? I'm supposed to believe this scrawny motherfucker can keep people down with a SPEAR? I get that it's a tribute to his "lifelong best friend", but he shouldn't be pinning anyone with it ever.

Which brings me to the fact that his primary finisher, the Unprettier Killswitch is the WORST fucking finisher of all-time. It could logically be countered by just pushing him out of the Goddamn way. But I guess I'm just supposed to believe that Christian's little twig arms are strong enough to force his opponents head first into the ground.

I've watched Christian's entire career, save for TNA, and the "Captain Charisma" name fits about as well as nicknaming Batista "Tommy Technical". The average fan doesn't really give much of a shit about Christian. Sure, they like him fine, but is he really missed when he isn't around? Nope. Christian could disappear from WWE tomorrow and only the IWC would care. He's over like Kofi Kingston is over. I've never seen anything special from Christian on the mic. He's made a career from riding on his far superior tag team partner's charismatic coattails.

This notion that Vince "hates" Christian is funny to me. I have no doubt that he doesn't see money in him. Because THERE ISN'T. But someone Vince "hates", he sure hovers around the title picture an awful lot for someone that isn't all that over.

I equate Christian to Rey Mysterio. Good worker. Terribly unbelievable offense. Both rewarded with undeserved runs on top because their best friends died/retired. At least the fans gave a shit about Rey, though.

If I can say one thing about Christian, it's that his entrance music fits him perfectly. It's annoying, lame, it sucks, and if I never heard it again, I would be totally great with that.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I like Christian, I think he's one of WWE's most consistent performers. But he doesn't wrestle in the way he should for the way he looks. Then again, Rey Mysterio wrestles the way he should and he does it to perfection, so I understand why Christain doesn't do a similar rountine.

But yeah, Christian is an excellent mid-carder. Worth watching every week. He's just not a world champion and people think he's great. He's very good, but he's great at absolutely nothing.

(JAKE NOTE: I'm very tired and I think I've just rambled, but I don't care)

 

[THTRobtaylor]

Wow, lot of hate there... most of it unjustified.

Is Christian supposed to be the "top guy"? No but he is what he is, a very able Upper midcard worker who has broken through the usual plexiglass ceiling for those of his kind through hard work.

Much was made of Edge being "at Mania 6" but so was Christian, that he spent a lot of his career in the shadow of Edge was at times unjust, he was never the lesser of the two (I refuse to use the Marty Jannetty reference, cos that too is wrong in all cases) just Vince saw more money in Edge. For the longest time Christian was more consistant, doing better work and more over than Edge was. It was only really the Lita/Rated R gimmick that pushed Edge over the top.

In terms of Christian's physique, not everyone without a build is weak... just as not everyone small is gonna be fast etc... what he lacks in definition he is able to compensate for in ability, sure he is less convincing against monster heels but he also comes across as a wily veteran, who can outsmart them and cover his weakness.

The other cruicial thing Chrisitan has for WWE, he can be a face or heel equally well (although he is a slightly better heel in honesty) and it never seem forced. Some like Kane and big Show often suffer when they are frequently turned but Christian and easily flit between the two as it fits his persona, a guy who will go with whatever is best for him at that moment.

Backstage, the guy is known as a class act, no scandals, bullying, addictions or affairs... he even went back to TNA for a night cos it helped the company get Flair for the HOF. His only real weakness is his time injured, but these days the E claims back that time on your contract anyway, so they don't lose much by him being hurt as it probably prolongs his career.

Will he win at Summerslam? Depends who is cashing in... if Rhodes is gonna end up with it can cashing in, then no - Del Rio will but if they are going with Sandow then yeah, Christian will win, and no doubt lose again... this doesn't damage him, he's a credible guy to win your title from be it IC, US, WWE or World Heavyweight...

Personally I think his best option at this point is another tag team, perhaps with some one like Adrian Neville or even Chris Jericho when he is back, those guys were always excellent together...

 

[Uncle Sam]

Fuck him, in fact.

I was with you up until here.

It's funny that you bring up Daniel Bryan as an example of someone with believable offense and Christian as the antithesis of this because the two actually seem to have a similar in-ring philosophy - they're smaller than much of the roster and rely on striking, agility and ingenuity to get the better of their opponents. Am I expected to believe Christian could force Del Rio's face down into the mat? Am I expected to believe that Daniel Bryan could wrestle Jack Swagger to the floor? Am I expected to believe Christian could pin Rob Van Dam with a spear? Am I expected to believe Daniel Bryan could knock Ryback to the floor with a clothesline? Well, yes - because it's professional wrestling and I don't have weirdly out of whack criteria for suspension of disbelief. And, of course, the same goes for Rey Mysterio.

 

[ProWrestlingFan]

CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are believable but not Christian.....yeah right.

Christian doesn't have charisma?

Watch this :

[YOUTUBE]1yln6Ez7PhY[/YOUTUBE]

As a heel he is great. WWE has turned him face and doesn't let him cut promos thats why he is bland nowadays.

 

[N Again]

I couldn't agree with you more! Plus his lame ass slow claps that he desperately tries to get to catch on! He looks pathetic out there trying to get the crowd to clap for him. His look sucks too. He needs to go back to that mesh shirt or whatever that was back in the day, and loose the high wasted pants that damn near go to his belly button. lol.. idk.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

Christian is someone that WWE has been able to rely on to give very high, top quality matches whenever he's in the ring whether it's against Orton, Bryan, Del Rio or just about anybody else on the roster. Christian is someone that has a lot in common with Chris Jericho, in my eyes, in that he's someone that WWE can depend on. Like Jericho, though probably not to quite as great a degree, Christian is someone that can work with just about anybody, can help make them look good by putting them over, yet walk out looking like a star himself. That's a valuable role for a wrestler on any roster and Christian has done exceedingly well there.

In my opinion, I think Christian MIGHT have been a top guy had WWE really gotten behind him with a serious push 10 years or so ago. A lot of people might disagree or agree with this but, personally, I always thought of Christian as the better overall wrestler than Edge. Not that I didn't enjoy Edge, but I think the one thing that Edge always had that was above Christian was that he had a generally better look but when it came down to cutting promos and working inside the ring, Christian was the better of the two in my opinion. When it's all said and done, however, history will place Edge on a higher level, thusly a lot of people will view him as the superior wrestler.

As far as "believability" goes, this is something that people put FAR, FAR too much emphasis on sometimes. When it comes to what's just not believable, I can't help but roll my eyes whenever I see someone do something that's just not the least bit believable, such as hitting someone with "ballpeen hammers" or "lead pipes" or things of that nature. Especially when those people have taken head shots from these supposed weapons, shots that would almost certainly be fatal. That is when pro wrestling becomes too unbelievable in my eyes. Suspension of disbelief is majorly important in pro wrestling, but there are definite limits. Most of the time though, the emphasis on whether someone is "believable" or not seems to pop up, rather conveniently, whenever someone is slamming a wrestler that they don't particularly care for. In WWE's case, it's a very frequent occurrence whenever someone is in the midst of a main event push. In terms of general believability, you have to push a good deal of that aside when you consider that pro wrestling is, for the most part, completely staged. They're men & women portraying fictional characters engaged in fictional feuds participating in choreographed fights. Why is so much emphasis placed on whether or not someone "looks" like they can't kick someone's ass in a choreographed sport, yet you never really hear that sort of thing in "real sports". Floyd Mayweather is all of about 5'7" and has weighed 130-155 pounds during his career as a boxer, yet he's undefeated at 44-0 and has on 9 major World Championships in 5 weight divisions. In MMA, Anderson Silva is 6'2" and all of 180 pounds; yet he was UFC Middleweight Champion for almost 7 years, the longest run of any champion in any weight division in UFC history and had the most number of successful title defenses in UFC history in any weight division. I'm not particularly a boxing or MMA fan but the success these two men have had in their respective sports simply doesn't come about if you're not someone that's a legit badass, and despite the fact they most certainly don't "look" like they could kick anyone's ass, I have little doubt that they could kick the ass of just about anyone on the WWE roster regardless of size difference.

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

Christian, has over the years shown that he has all that you said he doesn't. But I agree, some of his moveset may leave you unimpressed.

Charisma wise, ye watch his little rap feud with Cena. The crowd is lapping up what he does on the stick. In 2003, with the Rock, he stood in that ring and held his own. He was fantastic turning heel in 2011 too. His TNA run prior, I really don't have any match that I can say 'ye have a look at that'. To be honest if we go back 10 years or so, I can't find a recommendation too. I mean there is a ladder match with RVD & Jericho that was enjoyable but he really struck out after Edge retired.


His moveset. The Unprettier has almost always been reversed. Its a solid move though. Really any move that has a head on impact should be a small man's finisher in the world of pro wrestling. If you have a problem with his muscle mass and all, well you'll have to get over it. I agree his chicken legs have irked me for years but I got over it, and these days I enjoy his work. I'm surprised he is not getting much Mic-Time, because he is good carrying a storyline verbally.

The spear, since he came back in 2013 has been very good. Instead of giving out hugs like Edge did, he runs his shoulder in. Check out the one he hit Bryan with.


All in all, he is someone who has for me, gone past meh, to someone who has good, entertaining matches. The live audience is into him too, and the last ovation he got on Raw was pretty encouraging.

 

[B Negreanu]

This has to be the best, most entertaining article I have read in wrestlezone history. F*cking loved it, so true.

Unbelievably, we both are Mark Henry fans, now Mark Henry, ladies and gentlemen, is a truly believable heel unlike Stickman Christian

 

[HereComesTheBrain]

Article was true in some ways, but not in others. I do believe it's ridiculous that Christian can keep people down with a spear (even Kaitlyn does it better), how easy it is to counter the Unprettier/Killswitch, and his "Captain Charisma" nickname (his mic skills are good, but not great). But he wrestles with moves that don't look like they fit his scrawny figure, and does them well.

Other than that though, there is no reason to put the world title on him other than for Sandow to cash in successfully and feud with Cody over the title. Then he can resume his feud with The Shield and probably win the United States championship.

 

[Mark Henry's Beard]

I was with you up until here.

It's funny that you bring up Daniel Bryan as an example of someone with believable offense and Christian as the antithesis of this because the two actually seem to have a similar in-ring philosophy - they're smaller than much of the roster and rely on striking, agility and ingenuity to get the better of their opponents. Am I expected to believe Christian could force Del Rio's face down into the mat? Am I expected to believe that Daniel Bryan could wrestle Jack Swagger to the floor? Am I expected to believe Christian could pin Rob Van Dam with a spear? Am I expected to believe Daniel Bryan could knock Ryback to the floor with a clothesline? Well, yes - because it's professional wrestling and I don't have weirdly out of whack criteria for suspension of disbelief. And, of course, the same goes for Rey Mysterio.

Daniel Bryan doesn't have to go into an elaborate setup to clothesline Ryback. Christian has to grab his opponent by the arms, turn them around, get set, and then hit his stupid finisher. If he was wrestling against small children, I could buy it. But overpowering Titus O'Neill to hit it after a five minute match makes me feel stupid to be watching wrestling. And mat wrestling is different. A smaller guy could easily get the best of a much larger foe. It's about technique, not brute power, which is deceptively what the Unprettier Killswitch is about. I'm forced to believe that this scrawny fucker is strong enough to hold them in that position so he can deliver the move. Just push him out of the fucking way please.

Christian, has over the years shown that he has all that you said he doesn't. But I agree, some of his moveset may leave you unimpressed.

Charisma wise, ye watch his little rap feud with Cena. The crowd is lapping up what he does on the stick. In 2003, with the Rock, he stood in that ring and held his own. He was fantastic turning heel in 2011 too. His TNA run prior, I really don't have any match that I can say 'ye have a look at that'. To be honest if we go back 10 years or so, I can't find a recommendation too. I mean there is a ladder match with RVD & Jericho that was enjoyable but he really struck out after Edge retired.


His moveset. The Unprettier has almost always been reversed. Its a solid move though. Really any move that has a head on impact should be a small man's finisher in the world of pro wrestling. If you have a problem with his muscle mass and all, well you'll have to get over it. I agree his chicken legs have irked me for years but I got over it, and these days I enjoy his work. I'm surprised he is not getting much Mic-Time, because he is good carrying a storyline verbally.

The spear, since he came back in 2013 has been very good. Instead of giving out hugs like Edge did, he runs his shoulder in. Check out the one he hit Bryan with.


All in all, he is someone who has for me, gone past meh, to someone who has good, entertaining matches. The live audience is into him too, and the last ovation he got on Raw was pretty encouraging.

In 15 years, he should have quite a few memorable moments on the mic, his name being Captain Charisma and all. You named two, both of which happened a decade ago. A blind squirrel finds a nut every now and again. Hell, my forum namesake Mark Henry would never be confused with Ric Flair but he's had a few memorable promos in his career, too.

His heel run in 2011 did not impress me. I found him insufferable. Yeah, yeah, cue the masses to say "That means he did his job". I prefer heels. And if a guy does it right, I'll be on his side, even if I couldn't stand him before. Case in point, another 2011 heel turn: R-Truth. Hated him. Couldn't believe he would ever do anything worthwhile. Then, he proved me wrong. He was entertaining...he was great. Heel Christian was neither. A good heel makes you want to pay money to see him get his ass kicked. A shitty heel makes you want to pay money to get him to go the fuck away. That's called X-Pac heat. That's heel Christian.

Remember that stupid finisher that Elix Skipper and MVP used to use that was universally trashed? The manner in which is set up is different from the Unprettier Killswitch, but the same premise applies. It's a stupid, unbelievable move because the only way it should avoid being reversed is if the motherfucker is already unconscious. Sweep the leg! Push him out of the way! I should be a manager.

As for the Spear, I thought it was stupid when Edge started using it. Should be a move for people like Rhino and Goldberg, not Edge and Christian. But at least Edge's version was theatrical as fuck and OVER. Christian's isn't.

 

[Perfected123]

Simple, Christian is the 3rd or 4th best in ring performer in the company. What's not to get? His mic work as a heel is great. I actually feel sorry for the guy, he should be more over than he is.

It does seem he has lost a considerable amount of muscle since his Attitude Era days, but so what? It is clear that WWE want him to out there and play the part of 'veteran'. That's basically his face character 'VETERAN'. That could be off-putting to some as it emphasises a sense of blandness.

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

In 15 years, he should have quite a few memorable moments on the mic, his name being Captain Charisma and all. You named two, both of which happened a decade ago. A blind squirrel finds a nut every now and again. Hell, my forum namesake Mark Henry would never be confused with Ric Flair but he's had a few memorable promos in his career, too.

His heel run in 2011 did not impress me. I found him insufferable. Yeah, yeah, cue the masses to say "That means he did his job". I prefer heels. And if a guy does it right, I'll be on his side, even if I couldn't stand him before. Case in point, another 2011 heel turn: R-Truth. Hated him. Couldn't believe he would ever do anything worthwhile. Then, he proved me wrong. He was entertaining...he was great. Heel Christian was neither. A good heel makes you want to pay money to see him get his ass kicked. A shitty heel makes you want to pay money to get him to go the fuck away. That's called X-Pac heat. That's heel Christian.

Remember that stupid finisher that Elix Skipper and MVP used to use that was universally trashed? The manner in which is set up is different from the Unprettier Killswitch, but the same premise applies. It's a stupid, unbelievable move because the only way it should avoid being reversed is if the motherfucker is already unconscious. Sweep the leg! Push him out of the way! I should be a manager.

As for the Spear, I thought it was stupid when Edge started using it. Should be a move for people like Rhino and Goldberg, not Edge and Christian. But at least Edge's version was theatrical as fuck and OVER. Christian's isn't.

See I'm not a Peep. A Peep will be along to give you more moments and shit, but his schtick with Tomko wasn't bad. Every wrestler can't be Steamboat between the ropes, and Christian does a stellar promo so he relied on that when he was in the mid-card in the 00's and haad good feuds with Jericho, RVD, etc. The E&C 5 second pose was both their doing so I'd count that too. For the rest, a Peep will be with you shortly.


And before I forget, R-Truth is athletic as fuck and I loved his turn. Made no sense but I was gobsmacked when he lit one on WWE TV. Gob-fucking-smacked.

Moving on.


His heel turn in 2011 was organic. Bred from jealousy, coming out from the shadow of his more famous tag team partner and Christian played that jealous role perfectly. Or atleast thats how I remember it. What REALLY stood out, were his matches with Orton. To be fair, every other 2011 Orton match is gold. Just look it up. But Christian and Orton had amazing chemistry in the ring. There is absolutely no disputing that.


Here's the deal, I don't like Punk. He is very good on the mic, expressions but a sloppy ass motherfucker and Test's elbow drop was a thousand times better than his. But he is over. He has made it to that magical land and I accept it. Doesn't mean I like him just because he is over, but I accept it. So my advice to you is, accept it. Christian still gets good pops and is a great filler guy to fall back on, like they are at the moment with ADR and the WHC at SSlam.


Grind your axe, but accept the facts.

 

[Lord_Frish]

I have been a fan of Christian for a long time. You can hate him, I don't particularly care that you do to be honest but I figured I might as well say something about him. I doubt anything anyone says will change your mind anyway.

Christian is dependable and judging from most accounts a good natured guy. That plus a decent look (admittedly not a great look) is usually enough to get someone to the mid card and stay there. It is the kind of position I can imagine the Miz settling into eventually. However the main difference between Christian and the other mid carders is that when he is needed he can really step up his game. The Orton Christian rivalry was about the only thing Smackdown could run with at the time with the roster it had then, and Christian drew a huge amount of heat with his act then. He is a guy you can rely on in the mid card, and when it is asked of him he can move up to one of the main events and make the crowd care about it. The stories that Orton and Christian told in the ring were fantastic, one of my favourite moments in modern wrestling.

I do think he is struggling with the current rivalry with Del Rio but in this case it is not entirely his fault. It would help if Christian got more promos and if anyone anywhere cared about Del Rio anymore. I don't mean to excuse Christian completely from blame for this angle failing, but I think everyone involved is failing it right now. The only person who has managed to get Del Rio any heat was Riccardo but it won't last long. I just hope Riccardo gets some kind of pay off from it, like costing Del Rio the title at SS since that could save the angle.

Anyway, like I said before, nothing anyone says will change your mind on him. But I still think he is a good wrestler to have around and he is one of the few wrestlers I watch every time he is on screen.

 

[Redemption-2012]

I completely agree with all of this, Christian is one of the worst World champions of all time. The guy is build like Justin Labar and that ain't a good thing if you are pro wrestler. His theme song is just boring as hell and his character, well his character is non existent. Christian sucks and I don't understand why the WWE are giving him this push out of nowhere, especially after just returning and being the most boring wrestler on the roster. Now all of a sudden, he is being pushed as a singles star because he is supposedly the only option? really?!

IMO, Christian was only ever pushed because of Edge's retirement. I am glad Orton buried him because his run was world champion was the worst ever.

 

[The Butcher]

The guy is build like Justin Labar and that ain't a good thing if you are pro wrestler.

Wolfpac recruitment standards say otherwise.

Christian has always entertained me, more or less. His runs with The Brood, Edge, Jericho, and as ECW Champ ranged from good to great. He's solid all-around, and before the injury bug hit him he was one of the most reliable guys in the company. I've never had a problem suspending disbelief, because winning a pro wrestling match has nothing to do with size or strength. I don't like his spear and yeah, the killswitch is patently absurd. Big whoop though. Nobody would successfully pull off an RKO in an actual fight either, and by acclimation that's the best finisher in wrestling these days. I wouldn't miss Christian if he retired, no, but I like having him around.

 

[Alex]

Christian is vastly more interesting than the majority of the WWE roster in my opinion.

I hate to bring up TNA here but Christian pretty much carried TNA for about two years. Yes it's a smaller company, but the principle shows that he's reliable enough to work at the top if not near. Heck he was carrying ECW in its dying days and really was the only interesting thing on the entire show.

The way he can adapt to pretty much any opponent, whether that be in the ring or on the mic pretty much shows how good he is.

Him being skinny looking is hilarious. I'm fairly sure he's stronger than he looks. There are many skinny looking guys who are very strong. And him going up against bigger opponents. Well I don't see people making as big a fuss about Rey Mysterio, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton (who's significantly skinnier than he was before) and others.

 

[blueskyy]

I don't like the kill switch either. I don't think it's suitable to be put on guys bigger than himself especially if the other guy is not already stunned or disoriented. Other than that, I like him. As you conceited yourself, he's a hard worker. He has been working at that level of energy consistently for the past years. When he's in the ring, there's only average matches and great matches. He is reliable (and self-motivating)! You won't often be disappointed when he in a match. He is more than decent on the mic -- not great, but more than just average.

Look no further than Christian's match with Alberto Del Rio last week! How often do we get a match of that quality on Smackdown? Can Titus O'Neil, or Rhyback consistently deliver matches of that caliber (high standard)? Heck, they can't even put on a decent match on their own without someone else jobbing for them.

 

[Schuyler]

I like how everyone brings up Edge saying he made Christian, if things changed a little it might of been Christian in Edges place. Lets not forget it was Edge sleeping with Lita, that pushed him over the top as the Rated R SuperStar, if that didn't happen. Would he been just as big as he was?

 

[Dagron]

My God, the OP summed up most every reason why I can't stand Christian as a face. As a smarmy, scrawny little 'poke you with a pencil and run' type annoying heel, I think he's fine, but as a face you've effectively stripped him of his best talents (on the mic as a cocky twerp) and left him with just his offense in the ring, which is so boring and unbelievable that he has to constantly clap to try to get anybody to give a shit.

 

[The Dragon Saga]

I'm sure Christian could care less if you "get" him or not.

And let me guide you in why the IWC has such a fondness for Christian because it's pretty similar to why Bryan is so well supported too, in fact its virtually identical. Christian like Bryan is a phenomenal wrestler. Christian can work a good to great match out of anyone. His series of matches with Orton in 2011 were candidates for match of the year and one of the most interesting feuds of that year too. Whereas Bryan is just a phenomenal wrestler who can also work, he can out wrestle Christian but he may not be able to out work him, there's a difference.

Christian like Bryan is a bit of an underdog, at least when it comes to WWE. He should be higher than he is, there should be more emphasis on him than there is, he should have more microphone time than he gets and this frustrates people so they support him more. When Christian won the World Heavyweight title and lost it two days later this forum was the home to scathing posts of how Christian was fucked over. Of course inevitably it created quite possibly the best run of his career, sadly he suffered some injuries and his time was cut short.

And stop calling this an article. It isn't an article. It's a post that just happens to be kind of funny.

 

[tuffy412]

Christian has charisma........THAT'S IT!! He is just awful imo. No drawing power,no believability. He has wrestling skills but that's it. I've never been a fan!

 

[HillBillyJim]

back in 99-00, in his team with Edge, he was awesome, but maybe that was because he had Edge to lean on. nowadays, he is a consistent mid card performer. many people have been like a twig, Eddie Guerrro, Rey Mysterio, ect, but that never stopped them. true he has the most annoying music in history, but he can work.

 

[Dagron]

People, please don't compare Christian to Eddie G. Eddie was NOT a 'stick', he was short. Agile, athletic, and jacked for sure, but short.

Christian is taller but decidedly less impressive. Lanky, stick, basketball player physique may all be applicable.

 

[5000]

Christian's definitely in the top 20 greatest wwe in ring performers of all-time what's not to get