Hardcore Industries:Robert Morales' Graphics
- Thread starter ABMorales787
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Here's your's Motor City Jeezy:
Motor City Jeezy
A self-proclaimed Kenny Omega mark
Thanks!
OK, I'm back here's today's batch:
Jokes:
-The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
-Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
Jokes:
-The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
-Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
I'M BAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!! Yep, I'm back and I brought with me an astounding 3 sigs 4 jokes and 1 funny video clip. So grab some soda, get your 3D glasses and some popcorn and enjoy today's post:
+ Sigs
+ Jokes
-A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever." A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
-A wife and husband stumble onto a wishing well. They decide to each make a wish so the man goes first. He turns around and flips the coin over his head, it lands inside. Its the ladies turn, but she trips and falls down the well. The man responds: "Hey ! This thing really works !!"
- Reporter: In an astounding story, one man was able to lose 246, count it 246 pounds in one single week ! ! !
Anchor: What ! That's impossible !! How did he do it!?
Reporter: He got divorced.
Side Note: You can trade the man part for women if your a women or what other reason. I wanna avoid being considered a sexist.
+ Video
[YOUTUBE]kMOeV5MLOvc&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]
+ Sigs
+ Jokes
-A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever." A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
-A wife and husband stumble onto a wishing well. They decide to each make a wish so the man goes first. He turns around and flips the coin over his head, it lands inside. Its the ladies turn, but she trips and falls down the well. The man responds: "Hey ! This thing really works !!"
- Reporter: In an astounding story, one man was able to lose 246, count it 246 pounds in one single week ! ! !
Anchor: What ! That's impossible !! How did he do it!?
Reporter: He got divorced.
Side Note: You can trade the man part for women if your a women or what other reason. I wanna avoid being considered a sexist.
+ Video
[YOUTUBE]kMOeV5MLOvc&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]
Very, very nice graphics, Robert. And the jokes are as hilarious as ever.
4 new sigs and 2 jokes. Enjoy.
-"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife.
"Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife.
"But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," his wife pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
-2 idiot convicts try to figure a way out of jail.
"OK , here's the plan. You're gonna go take a look out side and see the wall. If it's too high we dig under it and if it's low enough we climb it. So go check."
Sometime later the other convict returns.
"So did you check?"
"Yeah, but I don't think we'll be able to escape."
"Why?''
"There's no wall!"
-"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife.
"Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife.
"But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," his wife pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
-2 idiot convicts try to figure a way out of jail.
"OK , here's the plan. You're gonna go take a look out side and see the wall. If it's too high we dig under it and if it's low enough we climb it. So go check."
Sometime later the other convict returns.
"So did you check?"
"Yeah, but I don't think we'll be able to escape."
"Why?''
"There's no wall!"
hawaiianbulldog
Occasional Pre-Show
You should make a Team 3D one that says Now thats hardcore! but it should be them doing there top rope double team move sorry I forgot the name.
Sounds like a plan. I'll add it to tomorrows to-do list.
They have 2. "Whats Up" (Scoop Slam and cradle by Bubba and a Headbutt to the groin by Devon) and "The Doomsday Device" (Electric Chair lift by Bubba and a diving clothesline by Devon). The latter is a tribute to the Road Warriors.
Sure.
hawaiianbulldog
Occasional Pre-Show
You should use the what's up one because it could be funny and cool.
Unfortunately I haven't found a picture of it. But if you could supply me one I would appreciate it.
[EDIT] Another one I would like would be one with Bubba Ray down the Powerbomb through a table to Moolah or Mae(I forgot who it was).
[EDIT] Another one I would like would be one with Bubba Ray down the Powerbomb through a table to Moolah or Mae(I forgot who it was).
Here I am.
First order of business is hawaiianbulldog's challenge. I found the pic in their Wikipedia page, who would've thonk it.:
Next is a request from rko_for_king.:
If you need any other sig, I'll be waiting.
I wasn't able to make too much today, my car broke down. But I'll make up for it tomorrow. Now for the jokes:
-3 new people arrived in hell today:
*Superman
*Saddam Hussein
*Bill Clinton
The Devil gives each a quarter so they can make one final phonecall to see if there is anyone who thinks they shouldn't go to hell.
First up is Superman:"Hello Louis, I'm in hell right now. Can you vouch for me?
Superman is saved. Next is Saddam:
"Hello, hello infidels, I need somebody to vouch for me to save me from hell"
"I'll do it. I need you to explain to me the whole 72 virgins thing again"
Saddam is saved. Next up is Clinton, but he give his quarter to Satan.
Devil: "Why are you giving me the quarter."
Clinton: "I don't need it"
Devil: "Then how will you call home?"
Clinton: "Local calls are free"
-A puertorican is being interview for a job as a lumberjack:
Interviewer: "So, what qualities do you have that make you stand out in this field?"
Puertorican: "I chopped tree down in the Sahara for 3 and a half years."
Interviewer: "But, there aren't any tree's in the Sahara desert!?"
Puertorican: "I'm that damn good!"
First order of business is hawaiianbulldog's challenge. I found the pic in their Wikipedia page, who would've thonk it.:
Next is a request from rko_for_king.:
If you need any other sig, I'll be waiting.
I wasn't able to make too much today, my car broke down. But I'll make up for it tomorrow. Now for the jokes:
-3 new people arrived in hell today:
*Superman
*Saddam Hussein
*Bill Clinton
The Devil gives each a quarter so they can make one final phonecall to see if there is anyone who thinks they shouldn't go to hell.
First up is Superman:"Hello Louis, I'm in hell right now. Can you vouch for me?
Superman is saved. Next is Saddam:
"Hello, hello infidels, I need somebody to vouch for me to save me from hell"
"I'll do it. I need you to explain to me the whole 72 virgins thing again"
Saddam is saved. Next up is Clinton, but he give his quarter to Satan.
Devil: "Why are you giving me the quarter."
Clinton: "I don't need it"
Devil: "Then how will you call home?"
Clinton: "Local calls are free"
-A puertorican is being interview for a job as a lumberjack:
Interviewer: "So, what qualities do you have that make you stand out in this field?"
Puertorican: "I chopped tree down in the Sahara for 3 and a half years."
Interviewer: "But, there aren't any tree's in the Sahara desert!?"
Puertorican: "I'm that damn good!"
It seems I'm out of business until the 26th when my bandwidth count hits 0 again. I know nothing about the subject so if anybody can fill me in on details, I'd appreciate it. It's only been 1 month since I subscribed to Photobucket. I'm surprised I hit the limit so quickly.
hawaiianbulldog
Occasional Pre-Show
WTF I can't see the sigs you are posting it is just a photobucket thing. whats going on?
Photobucket screwed me, but hang tight, I'm gonna try Tinypic. They said there's no bandwidth limit.
DigitalNight
Resistance is Futile. We are Borg.
Way around The bandwidth issue. View internally only, no posting places this way:
Properties: Copy everything up till the question mark. Paste in your favorite browsers with the question mark at the end, and it should work for you.
Properties: Copy everything up till the question mark. Paste in your favorite browsers with the question mark at the end, and it should work for you.
I'll be fixing the problem with the pics after i get back from college(6 :30pm). It could take a while but I can still take requests so dont be afraid to ask inspite of how the thread is looking.
Hey, I have some rather saddening news. Its apparent that I have a rather large debt I have to pay. A 750 dollar debt. A debt that is not under my name but I am responisable for. I am officially dropping my internet connection, meaning that until I resolve this problem I will be unable to log in to the forums. It really saddens me that as I start to make a name for myself, I'm striped of my position. Now I know what Batista felt the night he gave up the world title. But just like him, Ill make it through this situation. And come back for more. Doc, you showed me how to work with graphics and Theo, you were also a lot of help.Dave, Digital Night keep the sigs coming, I love the work. Xfear, I know how much you love my jokes, but trust me when I make it back, Ill give you so many jokes you'll end up speechless for a month. Steve,good luck cause your gonna have a tight schedule now that the strikes over, well al least you have time to relax, I won't.
Even though I won't be able to sign in to the forums I can still see from my phone, so if you wanna mourne my loss, here's the place. Hopefully Ill be back in action by january 2010, if so Ill campaign for Comeback of the year in EOY awards '10. Don't go saying I abandoned the forums because I will be back... I just don't know when. But until then... Saiyonara.
[EDIT] UPDATE: I'm still in debt but I worked it out with the internet company. For now I'll use the Wi-Fi in a local Subway restaurant until I lower my sum a bit. I have all my new work with a new image host in a new thread and my jokes are now in the bar room.
COMING JAN 2010: HARDCORE INDUSTRIES:Redemption
Even though I won't be able to sign in to the forums I can still see from my phone, so if you wanna mourne my loss, here's the place. Hopefully Ill be back in action by january 2010, if so Ill campaign for Comeback of the year in EOY awards '10. Don't go saying I abandoned the forums because I will be back... I just don't know when. But until then... Saiyonara.
[EDIT] UPDATE: I'm still in debt but I worked it out with the internet company. For now I'll use the Wi-Fi in a local Subway restaurant until I lower my sum a bit. I have all my new work with a new image host in a new thread and my jokes are now in the bar room.
COMING JAN 2010: HARDCORE INDUSTRIES:Redemption
I am very upset to here this news. You were really coming into your own Morales as one of the sites top sig makers. You will be missed and I'll definitely be waiting for your return. Life is more important, so you work on getting that debt payed off and your spot here in the palace of sigdom will be reserved.
hawaiianbulldog
Occasional Pre-Show
Aww that sucks man u will be missed.
P.S. the sig is awesome!
P.S. the sig is awesome!
Yeah man 
I'm sorry to hear that, and I can't wait until you return. Keep on trucking, mate.
I'm sorry to hear that, and I can't wait until you return. Keep on trucking, mate.
- Status
