UA on Friday

[Goliath Uterus]

So yea, I have a UA this Friday for a job and the last time I used was Monday.... I've put together a simple plan on how to beat it (I plan on drinking a fuck ton of water and working out to sweat profusely) but I'm still kinda nervous. Any tips/suggestions on how to pass this bitch? I would be willing to use a detox agent but only if it's cheap as fuck.

 

[klunderbunker]

Don't do drugs that get you in trouble at work.

Why is this so complicated for people?

 

[Goliath Uterus]

I wasn't aware I was taking the UA until after I smoked. I'm not that stupid.

 

[JGlass]

Drink cranberry juice to compliment the water, it's good for your UT, it's like washing it out.

 

[klunderbunker]

Or you could just not smoke period. That's simply not an option of course though right?

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Go to a pipe store, buy some detox pills a few days before because you have to take them a certain amount of time before (they have instructions how to do it). When you take the test it will just look like you take a lot of vitamins and you're golden. I know lots of people who have taken it and its never failed any of them. Weed stays in your system for 30 days so water and working out ain't gonna get the job done. The pill's are legal to buy so just do that.

I'm not gonna tell you to smoke pot but for future reference I wouldn't do it while you are working, but this time you didn't know so I guess shit happens.

 

[Goliath Uterus]

Or you could just not smoke period. That's simply not an option of course though right?

I will stop smoking until I pass the UA, but after that I have the job and don't get tested anymore, so I might as well continue to do what I love.

 

[Davi323]

I really hope that the highest level of employment you ever reach is flipping burgers at McDonalds.

 

[Goliath Uterus]

Weed stays in your system for 30 days so water and working out ain't gonna get the job done.

It has worked for friends of mine shrug. I think the water and working out and shit doesn't erase it from your system but rather dilutes it so it won't show up in the test. I might end up taking your advice and buying some pills tho, just in case.

 

[JGlass]

Or you could just not smoke period. That's simply not an option of course though right?

Why on earth would he stop doing something he enjoys after he gains employment?

 

[Goliath Uterus]

I really hope that the highest level of employment you ever reach is flipping burgers at McDonalds.

The job I'm about to get is already higher than that, biotch. And why do wish this upon me? What have I done to you?

 

[Smooth Sexual Chocolate]

I've successfully used a detox drink that goes by the name xxxclean or some shit like that, works like a charm; just realize you'll be detoxing out your ass hole for a good thirty minutes with any of these detox drinks.

The cranberry juice & sweating it out will work if you haven't been chiefing much and have at least three days to drink a shit ton of cranberry water and bike/run/sweat like fiend.

 

[Davi323]

Why on earth would he stop doing something he enjoys after he gains employment?

Because if he got caught, he gets fired???

The job I'm about to get is already higher than that, biotch. And why do wish this upon me? What have I done to you?

It's your attitude...that the law doesn't matter at all unless you can get caught breaking it. You are like a guy that speeds going down the highway at 90 mph who slows down only if he sees a cop, then as soon as the cop is out of sight, goes back to speeding 20+mph over the limit, because you simply don't give a fuck about the fact that there is an actual speed limit, you only care about if you get caught or not.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

It has worked for friends of mine shrug.

Fair enough, it didn't work for some of my buds as it seems like everyone I know smokes up, but I never heard any issues with the pills, it seems to work every time.

Just in case the pills are called Urine Trouble.

 

[klunderbunker]

Why on earth would he stop doing something he enjoys after he gains employment?

To avoid issues like this?

 

[Goliath Uterus]

I've successfully used a detox drink that goes by the name xxxclean or some shit like that, works like a charm; just realize you'll be detoxing out your ass hole for a good thirty minutes with any of these detox drinks.

Really? I'm glad someone notified me of this....

The cranberry juice & sweating it out will work if you haven't been chiefing much and have at least three days to drink a shit ton of cranberry water and bike/run/sweat like fiend.

Aight, I think I have enough time. Just checked out hte sheet my future boss gave me and it looks like I can go in on Sat or Sunday to get the test too.

Because if he got caught, he gets fired???

I won't get caught, no more UA's after the first, and I work at a college dorm so I doubt anyone will have a problem with my smoking.

 

[JGlass]

Because if he got caught, he gets fired???

So he won't do it while he's at work, or when he's around anyone that could get him fired for it?

It's your attitude...that the law doesn't matter at all unless you can get caught breaking it. You are like a guy that speeds going down the highway at 85 mph who slows down only if he sees a cop, then as soon as the cop is out of sight, goes back to speeding 15+mph over the limit, because you simply don't give a fuck about the fact there is an actual speed limit, you only care about if you get caught or not.

You're comparing smoking a little weed to speeding at 85 MPH? Here's the difference: one hurts nobody but yourself, the other could be harmful to potentially hundreds of people.

To avoid issues like this?

It's called living life. Sometimes you need to take risks to have fun.

 

[Goliath Uterus]

It's your attitude...that the law doesn't matter at all unless you can get caught breaking it. You are like a guy that speeds going down the highway at 90 mph who slows down only if he sees a cop, then as soon as the cop is out of sight, goes back to speeding 20+mph over the limit, because you simply don't give a fuck about the fact that there is an actual speed limit, you only care about if you get caught or not.

Nope, I am a very safe driver, I rarely go over the speed limit. I'm not like that guy at all. And because I choose to smoke, you wish upon me a life of flipping burgers? How rude.

 

[Davi323]

I won't get caught, no more UA's after the first, and I work at a college dorm so I doubt anyone will have a problem with my smoking.

If they didn't have a problem with employees smoking pot, why the need for the drug test? Obviously they do care.

You're comparing smoking a little weed to speeding at 85 MPH? Here's the difference: one hurts nobody but yourself, the other could be harmful to potentially hundreds of people.

It was just to demonstrate that he only follows the law to avoid getting caught, not out of having any respect for the law at all, not that the two were equivalent. I was equating the disregard for the law, not the violations themselves.

 

[Goliath Uterus]

If they didn't have a problem with employees smoking pot, why the need for the drug test? Obviously they do care.

The boss may, but I don't work with him. I work with the college students. I highly doubt those mufuckas care.

 

[JGlass]

The boss may, but I don't work with him. I work with the college students. I highly doubt those mufuckas care.

I'd still recommend not showing up for work high. It only takes one stuck up bitch to snitch on you and get you in a whole shit ton of trouble.

 

[Smooth Sexual Chocolate]

Yeah, I can't speak for the detox pill, but I'm speaking from experience on the the detox drinks... It ran me about 20 bucks and that was more the strongest formula.

If you go the cranberry water route I suggest picking up real cranberry juice and not the cocktail juice. You'll also want to dink a lot right before you go in, to the point where you basically just pissing cranberry water.

 

[JGlass]

And to compliment SSC's post, you can find that pure Cranberry Juice stuff at Whole Foods. Heads up, it does not taste good. At all.

 

[Goliath Uterus]

I'd still recommend not showing up for work high. It only takes one stuck up bitch to snitch on you and get you in a whole shit ton of trouble.

Ya, I probably won't go to work high very often, and when I do I'll for sure use drops.

Yeah, I can't speak for the detox pill, but I'm speaking from experience on the the detox drinks... It ran me about 20 bucks and that was more the strongest formula.

Haha damn, I'm a broke ass *****, 20 bucks is a fortune for my ass.

If you go the cranberry water route I suggest picking up real cranberry juice and not the cocktail juice. You'll also want to dink a lot right before you go in, to the point where you basically just pissing cranberry water.

Roger that, I'm bout to go pick up like 4 gallons of that shit later.

 

[UnBEARaBULLfan]

XXXclean has worked for me many times, XXXclean is not truely a detox as it is more for camouflaging so the longer you go without smoking before you take the test the better chances you have of it working, drink plenty of water and urinate frequently. The day of the test is when you drink it, at least an hour before testing and try to urinate at least 2-3 time before testing and you should be ok unless they send your urin out to another lab cause xxxclean only works for a 5 hour period. Costs about 35-40 dollars, good luck!