Is too late to turn in my Lethal Lottery RP? Think I have a real winner on my hands.
As you all may have guessed, things got hairy for me, which led to my departure from WZCW. Initially, I wanted to stay on board until the end of Kingdom Come, and take an extended hiatus from the fed. Of course, it didn't work out that way, and I wound up leaving far sooner than I ever planned. And the honest to God truth is, there's no excuse for it; i fucked over many, many people in the fed, and I'm sorry. There's about to be some personal apologies coming a lot of peoples' ways, but I'll try to explain (not really an excuse... There is no no excuse, just an explanation.)
I've always felt a certain conflict about the Dr. Zeus character; namely, how I can deal with such a dark and depressing character, in the light of real tragedies that exist in the world. At his very core, Zeus was a character that dealt with death and destruction... Which can be troublesome, especially when real death surrounds you. I always felt especially bad for portraying Zeus at a time when Kermit in particular was going through some heavy shit (and he wasn't the only one; I'll keep people relative anonymity in cases, but there were plenty of people that were experiencing death around them), and as the real tragedies grew, my guilt did, as well as. Suddenly, playing the role of the death dealing doctor didn't feel fictional... I had a nervous breakdown, and there's nothing more I can offer than that. Well that and the hospital bill, but you know, who wants that? And let's not get it twisted; I had a nervous breakdown about more than the fed. There's a lot going that normally, I'd be pretty mum about. But since I owe it you all to be as transparent as possible, anyone that needs to know what's going on, I'll be happy to explain. I'll admit this; I've been writing (post hospital stay) about Gamergate and the NFL. And since this forum needs me bitching about women's rights, me losing my shit about the media portrayal of women, and JMT calling me Tenta (you know, because no one on this forum has ever done that) like it needs a hole in the proverbial head, I figured I shouldn't share it here. Let's be real; I don't need to be going all social justice warrior here, so I decided to do it in a study Ihope to get published, instead.
I'm about to put over three blokes who I owe massive apologies to, so that should be a nice segue, yes? Ty Burna, The Beard, and Fallout deserve more credit than I think anyone could possibly give them. To write such dark characters... You almost need to become the character, fully understand who that person. And for those three to be able to do that with the characters they have, and to do so at a consistently high level... It's a talent that makes them the best.
As mentioned, those are the three I owe the most of an apology to. I fucked up, and I fucked up hard. I ruined what was a bloody good plan, and made everyone have to shuffle to something new. From the looks of things, everyone came out great (Ty in the Elites makes perfect sense), but that doesn't absolve me of my fuck up to all of you, and how I went AWOL. Ty, I'm sorry for ruining our plans, and causing you to have to reshuffle everything. I can understand if you feel like "fuck this guy", but I have he utmost respect for you, and I'm disappointed I let you down. To the Riders, I'm sorry for ruining what may have been the best stable in WZCW history. And to Doctor and TBK, for fucking up characters that were going to come to the fed, and for essentially ruining what was going to be awesome.
To creative, for abandoning my duties, especially to Harthan, Yaz, Ty, Killjoy and Dave for leaving you allin the weeds during one of our most important (and loaded) pay per views.. To WZCW, I'm sorry. And to all of you that I let down, I'm sorry. And I fully understand how badly I screwed you all over... Again, i fucked up, and can't offer anything better than that.
Zeus is dead; right now, I'm in the wrong mind frame for Zeus, and I'm not sure I'll ever be. Even thinking about him brings out the worst thoughts in me. But I would also love to come back some day. Not now, and not in this frame of mind, but some day. I have a good low card gimmick in mind for a gimmick. Make no bones about it, there will be no titles, no accolades, and a lot of jobskis to come for this character. But, it could be fun, and that's what I care about now. But I will only come back if you want me. I understand how royally I fucked up, so I understand if I can't come back. But just know WZCW is always going to have a place in my heart.
Editor's Note; yeah, I waited until after KC to try and avoid a messy clusterfuck.
As you all may have guessed, things got hairy for me, which led to my departure from WZCW. Initially, I wanted to stay on board until the end of Kingdom Come, and take an extended hiatus from the fed. Of course, it didn't work out that way, and I wound up leaving far sooner than I ever planned. And the honest to God truth is, there's no excuse for it; i fucked over many, many people in the fed, and I'm sorry. There's about to be some personal apologies coming a lot of peoples' ways, but I'll try to explain (not really an excuse... There is no no excuse, just an explanation.)
I've always felt a certain conflict about the Dr. Zeus character; namely, how I can deal with such a dark and depressing character, in the light of real tragedies that exist in the world. At his very core, Zeus was a character that dealt with death and destruction... Which can be troublesome, especially when real death surrounds you. I always felt especially bad for portraying Zeus at a time when Kermit in particular was going through some heavy shit (and he wasn't the only one; I'll keep people relative anonymity in cases, but there were plenty of people that were experiencing death around them), and as the real tragedies grew, my guilt did, as well as. Suddenly, playing the role of the death dealing doctor didn't feel fictional... I had a nervous breakdown, and there's nothing more I can offer than that. Well that and the hospital bill, but you know, who wants that? And let's not get it twisted; I had a nervous breakdown about more than the fed. There's a lot going that normally, I'd be pretty mum about. But since I owe it you all to be as transparent as possible, anyone that needs to know what's going on, I'll be happy to explain. I'll admit this; I've been writing (post hospital stay) about Gamergate and the NFL. And since this forum needs me bitching about women's rights, me losing my shit about the media portrayal of women, and JMT calling me Tenta (you know, because no one on this forum has ever done that) like it needs a hole in the proverbial head, I figured I shouldn't share it here. Let's be real; I don't need to be going all social justice warrior here, so I decided to do it in a study Ihope to get published, instead.
I'm about to put over three blokes who I owe massive apologies to, so that should be a nice segue, yes? Ty Burna, The Beard, and Fallout deserve more credit than I think anyone could possibly give them. To write such dark characters... You almost need to become the character, fully understand who that person. And for those three to be able to do that with the characters they have, and to do so at a consistently high level... It's a talent that makes them the best.
As mentioned, those are the three I owe the most of an apology to. I fucked up, and I fucked up hard. I ruined what was a bloody good plan, and made everyone have to shuffle to something new. From the looks of things, everyone came out great (Ty in the Elites makes perfect sense), but that doesn't absolve me of my fuck up to all of you, and how I went AWOL. Ty, I'm sorry for ruining our plans, and causing you to have to reshuffle everything. I can understand if you feel like "fuck this guy", but I have he utmost respect for you, and I'm disappointed I let you down. To the Riders, I'm sorry for ruining what may have been the best stable in WZCW history. And to Doctor and TBK, for fucking up characters that were going to come to the fed, and for essentially ruining what was going to be awesome.
To creative, for abandoning my duties, especially to Harthan, Yaz, Ty, Killjoy and Dave for leaving you allin the weeds during one of our most important (and loaded) pay per views.. To WZCW, I'm sorry. And to all of you that I let down, I'm sorry. And I fully understand how badly I screwed you all over... Again, i fucked up, and can't offer anything better than that.
Zeus is dead; right now, I'm in the wrong mind frame for Zeus, and I'm not sure I'll ever be. Even thinking about him brings out the worst thoughts in me. But I would also love to come back some day. Not now, and not in this frame of mind, but some day. I have a good low card gimmick in mind for a gimmick. Make no bones about it, there will be no titles, no accolades, and a lot of jobskis to come for this character. But, it could be fun, and that's what I care about now. But I will only come back if you want me. I understand how royally I fucked up, so I understand if I can't come back. But just know WZCW is always going to have a place in my heart.
Editor's Note; yeah, I waited until after KC to try and avoid a messy clusterfuck.
