Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Y 2 Jake]

You need to prioritize. Pain & Gain is on.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Don't worry, that's tomorrow. That and Upstream Colour. I heard good things about Primer (but not enough to watch it) so I have medium hopes.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Pain & Gain for me tomorrow as well. Possibly The Way, Way Back as well.

Very slim chance I could see that One Direction film as well. That Super-Size Me dude made it!

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Don't worry, that's tomorrow. That and Upstream Colour. I heard good things about Primer (but not enough to watch it) so I have medium hopes.

I watched Primer last night (presuming you're speaking about the Indy time travel film from a few years ago?) and although its only 74 mins long, its still a bit of a mind-drainer.

 

[¡Roján!]

You guys have far too much time on your hands.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'm retired, so yeah.

1. The Conjuring ★★★★★
2. Shaun Of The Dead ★★★★★
3. Iron Man 3 ★★★★
4. Trance ★★★★
5. Maniac ★★★★
6. Django Unchained ★★★★
7. The Impossible ★★★★
8. End Of Watch ★★★★
9. World War Z ★★★★
10. Flight ★★★★
11. The Purge ★★★★
12. Gangster Squad ★★★★
13. Zero Dark Thirty ★★★★
14. Jack The Giant Slayer ★★★★
15. Spring Breakers ★★★★
16. The Iceman ★★★★
17. Behind the Candelabra ★★★★
18. Monsters University ★★★★
19. Only God Forgives ★★★★
20. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa ★★★
21. Pain & Gain ★★★
22. The Lone Ranger ★★★
23. Star Trek Into Darkness ★★★
24. Stoker ★★★
25. We're The Millers ★★★
26. Kick-Ass 2 ★★★
27. A Good Day To Die Hard ★★★
28. The Last Stand ★★★
29. Jack Reacher ★★★
30. Song For Marion ★★★
31. The World's End ★★★
32. This Is The End ★★★
33. Man Of Steel ★★★
34. The Heat ★★★
35. Pacific Rim ★★★
36. Elysium ★★★
37. Dead Man Down ★★★
38. Oz: The Great And Powerful ★★★
39. Evil Dead ★★★
40. Welcome To The Punch ★★★
41. Bullet To The Head ★★★
42. The Croods ★★★
43. I Give It A Year ★★★
44. Despicable Me 2 ★★★
45. Wreck-It Ralph ★★★
46. The Hangover Part III ★★★
47. Pitch Perfect ★★★
48. Olympus Has Fallen ★★★
49. Oblivion ★★★
50. 21 & Over ★★★
51. You're Next ★★★
52. Epic ★★★
53. Fast & Furious 6 ★★★
54. The Great Gatsby ★★★
55. Now You See Me ★★★
56. The Way, Way Back ★★★
57. Parker ★★★
58. Byzantium ★★★
59. The Wolverine ★★★
60. After Earth ★★★
61. Hot Fuzz ★★★
62. Les Misérables ★★
63. Direction: This Is Us ★★
64. G.I. Joe: Retaliation ★★
65. Identity Thief ★★
66. The Smurfs 2 ★★
67. Movie 43 ★
68. Scary Movie V ★
69. Lincoln ★

If the 1D film was just 90 minutes of time-lapse arena filling., it would've got 4 stars off me.

Pain & Gain was shit. But fuck, man, I love The Rock.

The Way, Way Back has Sam Rockwell in it. He's The Rock of that film.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'm in full-time work, which got rid of most of those pesky friends of mine, freeing up my evenings.

1. Before Midnight ★★★★★
2. Stoker ★★★★★
3. Much Ado About Nothing ★★★★★
4. Furious Six ★★★★
5. From Up On Poppy Hill ★★★★
6. Django Unchained ★★★★
7. Upstream Colour ★★★★
8. The World's End ★★★★
9. Bernie ★★★★
10. A Field in England ★★★★
11. Cloud Atlas ★★★★
12. Zero Dark Thirty ★★★★
13. Only God Forgives ★★★★
14. Man of Steel ★★★★
15. Monsters University ★★★★
16. Spring Breakers ★★★★
17. Kings of Summer ★★★★
18. No ★★★★
19. Iron Man Three ★★★★
20. Jack the Giant Slayer ★★★
21. Star Trek Into Darkness ★★★
22. Pacific Rim ★★★
23. The Croods ★★★
24. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa ★★★
25. Elysium ★★★
26. Behind the Candelabra ★★★
27. Flight ★★★
28. Lincoln ★★★
29. Oz the Great and Powerful ★★★
30. Evil Dead ★★★
31. Frances Ha ★★★
32. Pain & Gain ★★★
33. I'm So Excited ★★★
34. Stone Roses: Made of Stone ★★★
35. Mud ★★★
36. Kick-Ass 2 ★★★
37. Trance ★★★
38. The Great Gatsby ★★★
39. Compliance ★★★
40. Wreck-It Ralph ★★
41. Robot and Frank ★★
42. Warm Bodies ★★
43. Les Misérables ★★
44. The Iceman ★★
45. The Place Beyond the Pines ★★
46. Welcome to the Punch ★★
47. Side Effects ★★
48. The Bling Ring ★★
49. This is the End ★
50. Gangster Squad ★
51. The Spirit of '45 ★

I was rubbing my hands with glee when Upstream Colour started - I thought I was going to have another one star film to add my list. It only ended up being good! Better yet, I think you have to be of average intelligence to understand it, which I did. Check out the big brain on Sam.

Pain & Gain had The Rock in it, so gets three stars automatically. Unfortunately, it doesn't have it in it to earn any additional ones.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I liked how the tone of Pain & Gain was all over the place. Nice touch.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Sorry, what? I was distracted by the thought of how good Before Midnight would have been if it had starred The Rock instead of Ethan Hawke.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I've done it. It's taken me three years to do but I've done it! Fifty-two films. One per week. It's September. May have just overdone it a bit.

1. Before Midnight ★★★★★
2. Stoker ★★★★★
3. Much Ado About Nothing ★★★★★
4. Furious Six ★★★★
5. From Up On Poppy Hill ★★★★
6. Django Unchained ★★★★
7. Upstream Colour ★★★★
8. The World's End ★★★★
9. Bernie ★★★★
10. You're Next ★★★★
11. A Field in England ★★★★
12. Cloud Atlas ★★★★
13. Zero Dark Thirty ★★★★
14. Only God Forgives ★★★★
15. Man of Steel ★★★★
16. Monsters University ★★★★
17. Spring Breakers ★★★★
18. Kings of Summer ★★★★
19. No ★★★★
20. Iron Man Three ★★★★
21. Jack the Giant Slayer ★★★
22. Star Trek Into Darkness ★★★
23. Pacific Rim ★★★
24. The Croods ★★★
25. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa ★★★
26. Elysium ★★★
27. Behind the Candelabra ★★★
28. Flight ★★★
29. Lincoln ★★★
30. Oz the Great and Powerful ★★★
31. Evil Dead ★★★
32. Frances Ha ★★★
33. Pain & Gain ★★★
34. I'm So Excited ★★★
35. Stone Roses: Made of Stone ★★★
36. Mud ★★★
37. Kick-Ass 2 ★★★
38. Trance ★★★
39. The Great Gatsby ★★★
40. Compliance ★★★
41. Wreck-It Ralph ★★
42. Robot and Frank ★★
43. Warm Bodies ★★
44. Les Misérables ★★
45. The Iceman ★★
46. The Place Beyond the Pines ★★
47. Welcome to the Punch ★★
48. Side Effects ★★
49. The Bling Ring ★★
50. This is the End ★
51. Gangster Squad ★
52. The Spirit of '45 ★

You're Next much better understands where to sit on the shlocky-scary scale than, say, the Evil Dead remake. Hint: it's firmly in the shlocky camp, as it should be. Feels like a Neil Marshall film, like The Descent meets Dog Soldiers. Meets Funny Games. Fuck it, throw some Michael Haneke in there, hold it up to a standard it can't possibly live up to.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

For two seconds, I though "Gangster Squad" was "Monster Squad" was going to have to assualt you for giving it only one star

 

[Uncle Sam]

Monster Squad would have got a confused grimace and a shrug of the shoulders. However, I just Googled it and it sounds fucking amazing.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Monster Squad would have got a confused grimace and a shrug of the shoulders. However, I just Googled it and it sounds fucking amazing.

It sounds that way because it IS fucking amazing.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Im not even going to give Evil Dead (remake) a rating.

Hot Garbage.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I believe me & Sam rated it for you.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

The Rey one is 5 stars. The Batista one is 4 starts if you like Batista, which I do. The n.W.o. one is 2 stars if I'm being generous. The documentary is poor and n.W.o. matches with dusty finishes get old quick.

I had no idea Batista was a grandad, I knew he wasn't a spring chicken or anything but that was still pretty surprising.

The doc was quite good but it seems like he pissed off more people than he got on with in the back, or close to it. I now want to see him come back and help Bryan, cos fuck Evolution and all its incarnations.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Oh yeah, the kids dad died in an accident or something. That touched me deep, man.

 

[Coco]

What fucking rock were you living under? EVERYONE HATED BO DALLAS. No one ever liked his stupid face on their TV/computer screens. Ever since he came out, all you could read on the internet was about how annoying and ridiculous Bo Dallas was. And when he debuted at the Rumble, NO ONE wanted him on Raw. There's a reason his feud with Wade went nowhere. It's because no one in the crowd and no one at home cared for him.

It's funny how you think you can "brag" about being the first one to hate Bo. That's like bragging about being the first person to hate on Michael Bay.

I hate it when things catch on. Really makes me feel less special.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Okay, your opening argument for this debate is "Bo Dallas is a weird looking motherfucker", and you validate that with a set of insults that Michael Sorrentino would be embarrassed to have expressed. I get that you would see Bo Dallas and immediately imagine a robot programmed for sex, that's a fair setup for a dumbass like you. Now, tying that mixed metaphor into an apparent jab at KB does nothing to encourage the rest of us to relate to it or better understand it. It was a pathetic attempt at an insult and a desperate attempt to explain it in an amusing way.

Bo's not an easy guy to like? Do you honestly think that your word carries so much merit that you don't have to explain any of your wild conclusions? I'll start believing that Bo isn't easy to like when you can prove that communicating like an adult isn't outside of your range. Petty insults are not explanations.



If I ever need to associate an identity with the term "educated moron", I'll refer to anything you've ever posted. Indeed, being a heel can at times involve playing a guy who draws heat because he plays an obnoxious goody two shoes. Nobody cares how long he's filled that role, and nobody cares how long you've been aware of it. You observed that you don't realize how long he's played this role, and then stated with certainty that "it's longer than most people have acknowledged". Most people don't care, most people have more interesting ideas to discuss, most people aren't as fucking stupid as you.



I, umm, yeah, wait, what? Did you lose track of what your point was? This thread is titled "Bo Dallas: No, More Bo!". See, in this world there's genuine genius and then there's idiots who think that presenting vague symbolism with no actual solution is good enough to be genius.

You put Bo's name before a colon, indicating that what follows is a summary of Bo as a perfomer or that he's verbally saying what follows. "No, More Bo!" indicates that instead of saying "No more Bo!" you're suggesting subtly that after having Bo Dallas referenced we should say "NO" and then suggest we want more of him. So basically, in your idiocy you just want the title to inspire questions that don't have any answers. Fine, you love him because you hate him. Got it. Just keep in mind, posting stupid shit online isn't a career.

The ***** I draw in are way more weirdly pedantic than yours, Coco. Do try harder.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

On the subject of Bo's face; ******ed young Meatloaf? Anyone else seeing that?

 

[Coco]

The ***** I draw in are way more weirdly pedantic than yours, Coco. Do try harder.

How? By proving that I can be more weirdly pedantic than the ***** you draw?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Well, we all already know that.

 

[Coco]

I almost made a comment on the main page today, correcting something another commenter said.

I'm a mad man!

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Con Air - 1000/5

Springbreakers - 1/5

Is there really a score high enough for Con-Air? I say no


Springbreakers could have used a lot more quality time in the editing room. And by god, that was probably the most implausible, god awful ending of any movie I have ever seen. You have GOT to be shitting me. Only got a one on the enjoyability (maybe not a word?) of James Franco.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Where is Con Air 2, I ask you.