Round 1: The Punisher vs. Inspector Gadget

[The Doctor]

Round One

Inspector Gadget has detective training and wacky gadgets galore up his sleeve, and in his coat, and under his hat. The Punisher has guns and a ruthless streak unmatched by few. Will Gadget's gadgets save the day? Or will Frank Castle punish the modified man?

Voting closes five days after the poll opens. This message will now self-destruct.

FIGHT!​

 

[JGlass]

I don't understand how this is close.

Sure, Gadget has all sorts of crazy tricks up his sleeve (sometimes literally), but most of them are overly comical. I remember in one episode of the cartoon he used his Gadget Toothpaste to create an oil slick type effect on his enemy.

Tooth paste is not going to slow The Punisher down.

Gadget is a bumbling fool with an abundance toys he can barely use. Frank Castle is a cold blooded killer whose interests include killing, murder, vengeance, and killing again. This is what he does. He does it all day and all night, and he doesn't stop. There's never a time that Frank Castle isn't thinking about killing, or at least punishing someone that deserves it.

Inspector Gadget is not going to incapacitate The Punisher with his toothpaste oil slick, his extended arms, or any of the many tools that pop out of his fingers. He has nothing that can stop The Punisher.

The Punisher will shoot Gadget in the face with a gun. It doesn't even matter what kind, because if it exists, Castle probably has it. If he's feeling flashy, maybe he'll use a rocket launcher or a bow and arrow, but he's going to put something through the face of Inspector Gadget, and he's going to kill him.

Punisher advances.

 

[justinsayne]

Gadget is a fucking moron, & was only ever succesful in anything do to the help of Brain & Penny, secretly saving his ass time & time again. They're not here, Gadget is on his own, & facing a former marine with no remorse & a high pain tolerance Frank puts a bullet in gadgets head & that's the end of it, Gadget stand no chance what so ever.

 

[UltimateHitman]

There is just one thing to consider. The Punisher doesn't go around killing people that don't deserve it. This would be closer than you'd think, with Gadget thinking Castle's a horrible villain and Frank trying not to hurt Mr. Gadget. Sure, he'd finally put him down, but in a non-lethal, and compassionate, way.

Anybody who argues that point just needs to remember that the Punisher once teamed up with Archie Andrews and the gang from Riverdale High.

So the people who like to bet on long shots, just remember. While Castle is trying not to hurt Gadget, the Inspector could, quite believably, bumble into an erroneous, but winning, use of gadgetry and come out with a victory.

But afterwards, Punisher finally gets through to Gadget he's not as bad as he thinks he is, and slaps the poor Inspector upside the head to get his point across (and a little bit of revenge).

 

[Richard Blonoff]

How the hell does Gadget have any votes? He is completely inept and would never solve a case if it wasn't for Penny and Brain, who aren't allowed here.

The Punisher once put a guy's head under a drill press and threatened to use it if he didn't give him the info he wanted. The guy didn't talk and Dr. Frank Castle performed an unsuccessful labotamy

Gadget once shielded himself from rain with an umbrella.

 

[Shotaro]

Unless he has Gadget anti sadistic fucker who won't stop chasing me OMG AAAAAH WHY IS HE STILL CHASING ME! WHY DOES HE WANT TO TURN MY COLON INTO A HAT? I'M GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY SAVE ME JESUS!! I think Punisher will win.

 

[DirtyJosé]

Hitman has a very valid point in that shooting Gadget would make Castle what he hunts: a murderer. So unless there's some reason for Castle to come with lethal force, he won't bring it. For being big comic hounds, you guys sure skip over this VERY RELEVANT aspect of Frank.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Hitman has a very valid point in that shooting Gadget would make Castle what he hunts: a murderer. So unless there's some reason for Castle to come with lethal force, he won't bring it. For being big comic hounds, you guys sure skip over this VERY RELEVANT aspect of Frank.

He doesn't have to kill him, he simply has to subdue him, which Castle is capable of in spades

 

[Shotaro]

Hitman has a very valid point in that shooting Gadget would make Castle what he hunts: a murderer. So unless there's some reason for Castle to come with lethal force, he won't bring it. For being big comic hounds, you guys sure skip over this VERY RELEVANT aspect of Frank.

Violent Sociopath vs Incompetent Detective who frequently almost kills himself. I don't think Castle would NEED to kill Gadget, he'd just need to sit down and wait for Gadget to kill himself. After all the only reason he hasn't died is Penny and Brain, both of whom are not there per the rules.

 

[The Hillside]

I voted for Inspector Gadget. He has the variety and can do anything with the use of the gadgets.

I still like the opening song of his cartoons.

 

[DirtyJosé]

The Punisher will shoot Gadget in the face with a gun. It doesn't even matter what kind, because if it exists, Castle probably has it. If he's feeling flashy, maybe he'll use a rocket launcher or a bow and arrow, but he's going to put something through the face of Inspector Gadget, and he's going to kill him.

Frank puts a bullet in gadgets head & that's the end of it, Gadget stand no chance what so ever.

Unless he has Gadget anti sadistic fucker who won't stop chasing me OMG AAAAAH WHY IS HE STILL CHASING ME! WHY DOES HE WANT TO TURN MY COLON INTO A HAT? I'M GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY SAVE ME JESUS!! I think Punisher will win.

I get that the rules still favor Castle a bit, but this is just more of the Deadpool stuff in a different thread. Gadget has much more of a chance here than you guys will admit. You can either admit that, or you can keep sheltered in the view that OMG PUNISHER HAS GUNS OMG. Why not try arguing how Castle will win here via non-lethal methods, because he's not killing Gadget no matter how big a hard on you have for him.

 

[Shotaro]

I get that the rules still favor Castle a bit, but this is just more of the Deadpool stuff in a different thread. Gadget has much more of a chance here than you guys will admit. You can either admit that, or you can keep sheltered in the view that OMG PUNISHER HAS GUNS OMG. Why not try arguing how Castle will win here via non-lethal methods, because he's not killing Gadget no matter how big a hard on you have for him.

I did, he doesn't need to do anything and Gadget, being the incompetent fuck up that he is without Penny and Brain there to protect him from himself will lose before Castle has to do anything - he really is THAT incompetent, it's kind of the hook of show.

 

[DirtyJosé]

I believe it's also as likely that Gadget mistakes Frank for a friendly local, attempts to ask him for directions to the fight, accidentally triggers one of his own devices, which in turn accidentally pulls the pins from grenades Frank was carrying on a belt. Frank tries to slip out in time, but Gadget's attempts to help him only ensure his doom.

Penny was only needed to solve cases. Brain was needed to keep M.A.D agents off his back. Gadget is a screw up, but a screw up as dangerous to others as he is to himself.

 

[Shotaro]

I believe it's also as likely that Gadget mistakes Frank for a friendly local, attempts to ask him for directions to the fight, accidentally triggers one of his own devices, which in turn accidentally pulls the pins from grenades Frank was carrying on a belt. Frank tries to slip out in time, but Gadget's attempts to help him only ensure his doom.

Penny was only needed to solve cases. Brain was needed to keep M.A.D agents off his back. Gadget is a screw up, but a screw up as dangerous to others as he is to himself.

Castle shoots him literally anywhere other than the brain or the heart, deliberately avoiding major arteries, huh whaddya know, Gadgets down and he's got a pretty good chance of not dying. Hell if he called an ambulance right afterwards as long as he doesn't liquidize his heart or spread his brain gadgets got an 84% chance of making it. Christ if he lives to get to ER he's almost 50/50 to get home in time for Leno.

 

[DirtyJosé]

Castle shoots him literally anywhere other than the brain or the heart, deliberately avoiding major arteries, huh whaddya know, Gadgets down and he's got a pretty good chance of not dying.

You mean in those places that are mostly made of metal? Yeah, good idea.

Really, Shotaro. At least spend a few fucking minutes reading up about stuff before talking about it.

Hell if he called an ambulance right afterwards as long as he doesn't liquidize his heart or spread his brain gadgets got an 84% chance of making it. Christ if he lives to get to ER he's almost 50/50 to get home in time for Leno.

Too much filler; needs more substance.

 

[Shotaro]

You mean in those places that are mostly made of metal? Yeah, good idea.

Really, Shotaro. At least spend a few fucking minutes reading up about stuff before talking about it.



Too much filler; needs more substance.

What you mean the metal parts full of complex hydraulics and servos? A gunshot wound there wouldn't hurt him? Besides if Gadget is mostly robot can he even be killed? Statistics on the likelihood of surviving a gunshot wound is filler is it? I'm sorry I must have missed your cogent rebuttal as to why Castle wouldn't just shoot Gadget anyway, reminding me that he's mostly robot doesn't help your "Castle doesn't Kill" argument really. Unless you want to get all existential and start discussing the meaning of conciousness.

 

[DirtyJosé]

What you mean the metal parts full of complex hydraulics and servos? A gunshot wound there wouldn't hurt him? Besides if Gadget is mostly robot can he even be killed?

As he is a cyborg and not a robot, yes, Gadget needs his biological bits intact to survive. Whether his metal bits could withstand gunfire is up in the air as there is no solid information about that out there. Either way, you were wrong...again.

Statistics on the likelihood of surviving a gunshot wound is filler is it?

I'm sorry, were those real statistics or more numbers and facts from the aether again?

I'm sorry I must have missed your cogent rebuttal as to why Castle wouldn't just shoot Gadget anyway, reminding me that he's mostly robot doesn't help your "Castle doesn't Kill" argument really. Unless you want to get all existential and start discussing the meaning of conciousness.

A: He's not a robot; he's a cyborg. READ MORE.

B: He's still human, and still an innocent by any stretch of Castle's imagination. Punisher does not kill innocents. More of that whiny Marvel stuff you don't read, and it shows.

Of course, you'd know this if you knew what the fuck you were talking about.

 

[The 1-2-3 Killam]

I believe it's also as likely that Gadget mistakes Frank for a friendly local, attempts to ask him for directions to the fight, accidentally triggers one of his own devices, which in turn accidentally pulls the pins from grenades Frank was carrying on a belt. Frank tries to slip out in time, but Gadget's attempts to help him only ensure his doom.

Jose, I admire your attempt to fight for literally every underdog in this competition, and much like my attempt at defending Cole against Juggernaut, I want to agree with you. Much like I want to agree that Invisible Woman can defeat Goku. You make creative points that in my mind I could see happening. At the very least you're making the tournament more interesting.

But let's face it...it's Inspector Gadget against Frank "The Punisher" Castle. In the words of the great German philosopher Martin Heidegger, "a man who knows he's going to die and who knows in the big picture his actions will count for nothing, but who pursues his course because this is what he has chosen to do." Or, in the more iconic warning of Shepherd Book of Firefly/Serenity fame, he's what we consider "a believer". Maybe Castle believes this tournament is a quick way to vengeance; his only and ever-pressing goal in life? Maybe Gadget is just getting in his way on a man-hunt to "off" the Joker? He's mostly robot anyways, not a whole lot of moral conviction.

Frank Castle does not eat, and he does not sleep without thinking about his slightly warped sense of justice. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.... He's like Ryback; Gadget his Jinder Mahal. You might think you have a window of opportunity. You might think you a chance at living through this fight. But the reality is there's a cannon pointed at your heart. You're actually already dead, but your brain hasn't totally stopped working, projecting the last image you remember before the lights finally go out...

 

[Shotaro]

As he is a cyborg and not a robot, yes, Gadget needs his biological bits intact to survive. Whether his metal bits could withstand gunfire is up in the air as there is no solid information about that out there. Either way, you were wrong...again.



I'm sorry, were those real statistics or more numbers and facts from the aether again?



A: He's not a robot; he's a cyborg. READ MORE.

B: He's still human, and still an innocent by any stretch of Castle's imagination. Punisher does not kill innocents. More of that whiny Marvel stuff you don't read, and it shows.

Of course, you'd know this if you knew what the fuck you were talking about.

They were actual statistics from a report published twelve years ago.

For the purposes of this specific argument Cyborg or Robot doesn't matter, a hydraulic is knackered if it gets a dink from a hammer a bullet will fuck it right up. Stop arguing semantics and tell me how Gadget would win. Castle is more than just guns and you know it, statistics prove that a shot to the abdomen is extremely unlikely to kill and would absolutely incapacitate him, he's either hitting his intestines or he's hitting a motor, either way Gadget is down and is likely to live. If he's put in a tournament and told he can win by incapacitating his opponent who COULD be an innocent is Castle going to shit and have a tea party? no, he's going to shoot them somewhere where they'll be out but not permanently injured like the stomach or the leg (not the knee though, the outer thigh should do it)

Also let's say Gadget does attack Castle and try to win (a scenario you have yet to present by the way) name a scenario in which gadget can attack Castle where the result will be anything other than Castle pulling the trigger, the instant Gadget is offensive is the instant Castle has justification.

 

[DirtyJosé]

Jose, I admire your attempt to fight for literally every underdog in this competition, and much like my attempt at defending Cole against Juggernaut, I want to agree with you. Much like I want to agree that Invisible Woman can defeat Goku. You make creative points that in my mind I could see happening. At the very least you're making the tournament more interesting.

But let's face it...it's Inspector Gadget against Frank "The Punisher" Castle. In the words of the great German philosopher Martin Heidegger, "a man who knows he's going to die and who knows in the big picture his actions will count for nothing, but who pursues his course because this is what he has chosen to do." Or, in the more iconic warning of Shepherd Book of Firefly/Serenity fame, he's what we consider "a believer". Maybe Castle believes this tournament is a quick way to vengeance; his only and ever-pressing goal in life? Maybe Gadget is just getting in his way on a man-hunt to "off" the Joker? He's mostly robot anyways, not a whole lot of moral conviction.

Frank Castle does not eat, and he does not sleep without thinking about his slightly warped sense of justice. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.... He's like Ryback; Gadget his Jinder Mahal. You might think you have a window of opportunity. You might think you a chance at living through this fight. But the reality is there's a cannon pointed at your heart. You're actually already dead, but your brain hasn't totally stopped working, projecting the last image you remember before the lights finally go out...

First of all, I'm not intentionally going for underdogs (see also: Juggernaut). I'm just going for the real deal "who would win". I'm just not easily swayed by auto-wins like Goku.

Secondly, though this takes place in the Ultimate Universe, take a look at this:

Castle accidentally shot Spider Man. And not a lethal shot either, just a wounding one. This was his reaction.

In PunisherMAX, he believes he has killed a little girl and is ready to kill himself for it after he makes sure it was his fault (it wasn't).

So no, this isn't the fight you all seem to think it is. Frank is insane, but he has a code to live by that keeps him from being mere gutter trash.

Your move.

 

[DirtyJosé]

They were actual statistics from a report published twelve years ago.

Well then, I shall give them proper respect now.

For the purposes of this specific argument Cyborg or Robot doesn't matter, a hydraulic is knackered if it gets a dink from a hammer a bullet will fuck it right up. Stop arguing semantics and tell me how Gadget would win.

The right metals can stand up to gunfire. And I already gave you an example.

Castle is more than just guns and you know it, statistics prove that a shot to the abdomen is extremely unlikely to kill and would absolutely incapacitate him, he's either hitting his intestines or he's hitting a motor, either way Gadget is down and is likely to live. If he's put in a tournament and told he can win by incapacitating his opponent who COULD be an innocent is Castle going to shit and have a tea party? no, he's going to shoot them somewhere where they'll be out but not permanently injured like the stomach or the leg (not the knee though, the outer thigh should do it)

And again, this is based entirely on your assumption that a bullet to his extremities/torso would have much effect. My point was only that Frank wasn't going to come out gung-ho murder style as was suggested from the get go.

Also let's say Gadget does attack Castle and try to win (a scenario you have yet to present by the way) name a scenario in which gadget can attack Castle where the result will be anything other than Castle pulling the trigger, the instant Gadget is offensive is the instant Castle has justification.

Seriously, go the fuck back and read. Do you not have eyes? I already posted one theoretical example that fit the profile for the character of Gadget to a fucking "t".

 

[Shotaro]

Well then, I shall give them proper respect now.
The right metals can stand up to gunfire. And I already gave you an example.
And again, this is based entirely on your assumption that a bullet to his extremities/torso would have much effect. My point was only that Frank wasn't going to come out gung-ho murder style as was suggested from the get go.
Seriously, go the fuck back and read. Do you not have eyes? I already posted one theoretical example that fit the profile for the character of Gadget to a fucking "t".

The right metals will stand upto gunfire, but it's Schroedingers bullet, we wouldn't know if it would do anything until it hits its target. Also Castle has a shoot first mentality if the first bullet dinged off the torso he wouldn't mess around with the second.

Also the scenario you presented has at least one major flaw, although no advance preperation is allowed they know they're in a tournament, do you honestly believe a guy who would shoot first would hesistate if his opponent took so much as a step towards him?

As to whether or not Castle would kill himself after the match you're far more likely to be right, in all honesty the most likely scenario; assuming the first shot bounces off the torso is Gadget's brain gets scattered since robot is more likely than cyborg and then Castle turns the gun on himself when he finds out Gadget was good guy. That's the end of this round if the rules didn't state one guy goes on then neither of them would.

The real result would be murder-suicide.

 

[DirtyJosé]

The right metals will stand upto gunfire, but it's Schroedingers bullet, we wouldn't know if it would do anything until it hits its target. Also Castle has a shoot first mentality if the first bullet dinged off the torso he wouldn't mess around with the second.

Also the scenario you presented has at least one major flaw, although no advance preperation is allowed they know they're in a tournament, do you honestly believe a guy who would shoot first would hesistate if his opponent took so much as a step towards him?

As to whether or not Castle would kill himself after the match you're far more likely to be right, in all honesty the most likely scenario; assuming the first shot bounces off the torso is Gadget's brain gets scattered since robot is more likely than cyborg and then Castle turns the gun on himself when he finds out Gadget was good guy. That's the end of this round if the rules didn't state one guy goes on then neither of them would.

The real result would be murder-suicide.

My issue with this is that Punisher is insane, but he is also a soldier of sort (a Marine, actually) so he does have a sense of tactics and knows that shooting first IS NOT always the right answer. Punisher will open with heavy force right away in almost any situation, but that doesn't mean opening fire immediately.

Also, so much is made of Penny and Brain not being here that it's forgetten that Gadget is also incredibly lucky in the ways he gets unlucky. Shit just turns up rosey for him somehow, with or without help. I do believe he's as capable of winning this as Frank is.

 

[Shotaro]

My issue with this is that Punisher is insane, but he is also a soldier of sort (a Marine, actually) so he does have a sense of tactics and knows that shooting first IS NOT always the right answer. Punisher will open with heavy force right away in almost any situation, but that doesn't mean opening fire immediately.

Also, so much is made of Penny and Brain not being here that it's forgetten that Gadget is also incredibly lucky in the ways he gets unlucky. Shit just turns up rosey for him somehow, with or without help. I do believe he's as capable of winning this as Frank is.

Capability to win is not the same as going to win, I will admit that gadget is capable of beating Punisher, however the far far more likely scenario is that Punisher will win. It's like that bullshit but fun show Deadliest Warrior, do the fights 1000 times and Punisher will win more than half of them.

 

[JGlass]

The Punisher doesn't have to kill Gadget, though, he only has to incapacitate him. Sure, Castle might be a killing machine, but he probably knows a few hundred different ways to knock someone out, cause a non-lethal injury, or otherwise finish a fight. If Gadget attacks him, and he will because that's the point of this whole thing, Punisher would take him down with a stun gun or concussive shot.