Sean Valjean
Lets Bitch About This Thing We Love
Less than 24 hours after Brock Lesnar nearly killed another man with his bare hands live on pay-per-view, the WWE Universe is still buzzing about how much the Universal Championship spits in the face of God with its very existence. They may also be worried about that Orton boy, but the redness of the title caused the fans see red and thus care little about Orton being drenched in his own red.
Speaking of WWE's new top heel, Finn Balor is wearing it around his Demon waist after defeating Seth Rollins last night. However, Finn may have suffered a serious injury that could jeopardize his reign before it even begins. Can Finn shake off this injury or can Seth tally up a third opponent injured at his hands? How much has Bret Hart's head exploded in the last 24 hours?
Charlotte is Women's Champion again for reasons of WOO. With Sasha out of the picture for the next few weeks, who will step up to challenge the Queen? Nia Jax? Summer Rae? That Rachel chick wearing more colors than a Lisa Frank coloring book? Please let it be Rachel.
Not to be upstaged by Brock, Roman Reigns took his own stab at attempted murder by slaughtering a defenseless husband fighting for his wife's honor. Tonight WWE will once again explain to us why Roman isn't totally the heel in this story after picking a fight with Rusev unprovoked, ruining his wedding celebration, and beating him down with the intent to maim in front of his wife - which was more important to Roman than winning a championship at the 2nd biggest show of the year.
As announced on Twitter, the Dudley Boyz are announcing their departure from WWE tonight. Is this legitimate retirement or are we being hoodwinked ala Mark Henry in 2013? Keep an eye out for any salmon-colored sports jackets.
