Rapturemania 2: The Rematch of the Century!

The Doctor

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Calif Christian group recalculates biblical math; now says rapture and end of world is Friday

By Associated Press, Updated: Friday, October 21, 6:18 AM

SAN FRANCISCO — A California ministry has again predicted the end of the world is at hand.

The Oakland-based Family Radio International that stirred a global frenzy when it predicted the rapture would take 200 million Christians to heaven on May 21, now says the cataclysmic event will destroy the globe on Friday.

But the world on Friday was undergoing its usual give and take with no signs of such an event.

This time, the ministry and its 90-year-old leader, Harold Camping, have avoided the media and perhaps a repeat of the international mockery that followed when believers awoke on May 22 to find themselves still on Earth.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we at Family Radio have been directed to not talk to the media or the press,” Camping’s daughter Susan Espinoza wrote in response to an email request about Friday’s doomsday scenario.

Calls to the ministry in Oakland Thursday went to voicemail and were unreturned. Several followers who were contacted also declined comment.

Camping, who suffered a mild stroke three weeks after his prediction failed to materialize in May, still spreads the word through his Family Radio International website. God’s judgment and salvation were completed on May 21, Camping says in a message explaining the mix-up in his biblical math.

“Thus we can be sure that the whole world, with the exception of those who are presently saved (the elect), are under the judgment of God, and will be annihilated together with the whole physical world on Oct. 21,” he says on the website.

Followers were crestfallen in May when the rapture did not occur, particularly those who had quit their jobs or donated some of their retirement savings or college funds for the more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message.

Camping, a retired civil engineer, also prophesied the Apocalypse would come in 1994, but said later that didn’t happen because of a mathematical error.

Last time, Randy Savage was able to stop the Rapture by delivering a well-timed Macho Elbow to God. Will it be enough to connect a second time, or will God have learned that no one gets up from the elbow drop? Will Savage have to recruit a new tag team partner to save the day once more? Will someone turn heel? The tension is building as Rapturemania 2 rolls on!
 
Last time, Randy Savage was able to stop the Rapture by delivering a well-timed Macho Elbow to God. Will it be enough to connect a second time, or will God have learned that no one gets up from the elbow drop? Will Savage have to recruit a new tag team partner to save the day once more? Will someone turn heel? The tension is building as Rapturemania 2 rolls on!

Unless God recruits the Ultimate Warrior, I think we'll be just fine.
 
Maybe God will turn on Harold Camping, allowing Jesus to hit the Crucifix Powerbomb on him so Macho can go for the cover.

BAH GAWD, run in by Gaddafi! He's from the other promotion! What the hell is he doing here??
 
Steve Jobs will give God an iPad 2 to distract him long enough and forget about the rapture just in case Macho Man's elbow wasn't enough to keep him down.

Nah, Jobs just told god that he/she would get the Iphone 5 before anyone one on Earth. God postponed the Rapture for the foreseeable future.

Maybe God will turn on Harold Camping, allowing Jesus to hit the Crucifix Powerbomb on him so Macho can go for the cover.

Russo is working for God now?!?! Look out Heavenly swerves galore!!!!

BAH GAWD, run in by Gaddafi! He's from the other promotion! What the hell is he doing here??

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
Maybe God will turn on Harold Camping, allowing Jesus to hit the Crucifix Powerbomb on him so Macho can go for the cover.

BAH GAWD, run in by Gaddafi! He's from the other promotion! What the hell is he doing here??

AND LOOK LOOK WHO'S WITH HIM! OSAMA OSAMA OSAMA BIN LADEN! IN HIDING FOR 5 MONTHS, HE'S BACK, KING, HE'S BACK!
 
"You know who I am...but you don't know why I'm here."

BUT WHO'S THE THIRD MAN??
 
"You know who I am...but you don't know why I'm here."

BUT WHO'S THE THIRD MAN??

The Holy Spirit, obviously. And since God seems to have done a face turn and spared us an apocalypse, we need the follow-up feud. Justin Roberts: "This is an eight-man tag team bout set for one fall. HyyyyeeuuuintroducingFirst - The team of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Almighty Father ... the Holy Trinityyyy! Also, Randy Savage."
 
Maybe God will turn on Harold Camping, allowing Jesus to hit the Crucifix Powerbomb on him so Macho can go for the cover.

BAH GAWD, run in by Gaddafi! He's from the other promotion! What the hell is he doing here??

I fucking laughed myself to tears picturing it...
 

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