At first, this did not make any sense to me. Why? Because Vince has taken something as revolutionary as having an Elimination Chamber match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Belt at Mania and totally besmirched it by putting Jamal in it. Yeah, the guy from 3 Minute Warning. They should go ahead and dust off Rosie and put him in there, too.
But, then I thought about it further. Perhaps this is playing right into what Vince wants us to think. Vince can probably read our minds, and he knows that we are all thinking, "Oh crap. We have to endure a hefty dose of Jamal with his Mike Tyson face paint and inability to ever hit the Samoan Wrecking Ball. I used to be excited when the match was just in concept form, floating around the IWC, but the presence of Jamal in the match has turned me off considerably. However, I am still going to go to the closest Blast Area so I can see the PPV for whatever amount of money I decide to purchase in refreshments because I am a pawn in Vince's money-making scheme."
(If you are still reading I applaud you)
But if we have learned anything from last week's Rumble, it is that Vince has been willing to totally shock us at least one time in his lengthy career as chairman of the WWE. So why not make it twice in consecutive PPVs? I know that is a pretty risky bet, but I think it is very plausible. So I think that Vince is going to pull off a Y2J and "SAVE_US" from Jamal by allowing the following:
1) William Regal will come out to announce the participants, starting first with Jamal. He will, as he always does, put us in the hospital by calling Jamal "YOU-MANE-GUH." This time, however, Jamal will have had enough of Regal's unnecessary addition of mid-alphabet consonants into his name. Thus, Jamal will go 3 Minute Warning all over Regal's grill...causing him to be injured and Jamal to be arrested.
2) Well, with Jamal out of the picture (and hopefully behind bars so that there is NO possible chance of him being in the match), Vince needs a replacement. And the lucky 6th man is....................HARDCORE HOLLY.
*let it sink in.*
Yeah, I said HARDCORE HOLLY. Most of you were probably expecting the replacement to be Mr. Kennedy, Flair, or some other trendy teeny-bopper pick. But no. Vince will decide to not totally jank up this PPV. Thus, he goes with Hardcore.
3) As you can imagine and probably predicted, Hardcore will bring down the scale in honor of Crash. At first glance of this, Trips, HBK, Hardy, Y2J, and good ole' Blackjack will immediately defocate their trunks, making the chamber smell like absolute poo. Like that matters, though, because Hardcore breathes in poop smell and exhales freaking trash can lids. So Hardcore will totally dominate everyone's faces off with this mutant-like ability and win the Chamber match...sending him to Mania.
4) Mania....well, I really don't need to elaborate on that. It's Hardcore Holly. No Contest. The Cena Factor can't even hold him down.
And that's the way that the Elimination Chamber will go down at No Way Out. I hope you have been thoroughly enlightened.