Glass Ass: The OFFICIAL JGlass Thread

[Con T.]

Not a bad idea. I mean, if I am going to dig myself into that hole of discussion my wanking habits with my parents I might as well go *ahem* balls to the wall, with it.

I think you'll find the further you go down the hole, the better it feels.

 

[JGlass]

Not well, that boss is a real cunt, had to take a break, I was getting too frustrated. I'll try again later probably... or maybe I'll finally watch Flight

Like I said, it took me about 50 tries to beat her, it was preposterous. It might be worth lowering the difficulty for the fight and then bumping it back up when you're done.

Matriarch Benezia is a real bitch, and having to listen to her be a cunt every time you restart the fight only makes matters more frustrating.

Tell them you want to test the velocity of your seed; the best alternate you could find that recreates the vagina is a shot vac.

I was talking with Dynamite about this in the discussion thread, but me and the lady have been watching Supernatural all day; really damn good show. Recommend it to anyone that hasn't seen it

You were talking to him about testing the velocity of semen, or Supernatural? I have no seen Supernatural, but my mom has been using the TV in the living room for some show called Grim, and it's kind of interesting if not horribly, HORRIBLY corny.

Not a bad idea. I mean, if I am going to dig myself into that hole of discussion my wanking habits with my parents I might as well go *ahem* balls to the wall, with it.

Everything you have done during this conversation has been perfect, this included. I applaud your work, sir.

 

[Stormtrooper]

Wow. All I did today was go to church, east burgers and drink beer, then leave church and watch baseball. I thought that was fun, but now your talking sex with vacuums? Wow.

How is that PS3 treating you JGlass?

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

Grimm is a lame, uninspired, Supernatural knockoff.

 

[Con T.]

I forgot, you did make the jump into the PS3 World, didn't you?

I'm curious, how do you compare it to the 360?

Also, Grimm is rather corny, but Leon from Playmakers is in it, and he's pretty cool

 

[Con T.]

Grimm is a lame, uninspired, Supernatural knockoff.

I would agree, if we added some bit of a knockoff of Law and Order. Supernatural is more polished (shocking, since it comes from the CW), and has far better writing

 

[JGlass]

Wow. All I did today was go to church, east burgers and drink beer, then leave church and watch baseball. I thought that was fun, but now your talking sex with vacuums? Wow.

How is that PS3 treating you JGlass?

I forgot, you did make the jump into the PS3 World, didn't you?

I'm curious, how do you compare it to the 360?

I think Sony is way kinder to its customers than Microsoft. Free top-quality games is pretty solid, and including a BluRay player in the console just seems generous since I doubt it was the deciding factor for any customer. It's also pretty awesome that you can use online features for just about anything without having to pay for it. Oh, and built in wifi rocks.

But the XBox still has a few things that I like better. For one thing, the controller is better. It feels like you have to adjust your hands to the PS3, where with the 360 it feels like the controller adjusted itself to you. I also like the fact that the 360 came with an HD cable as this PS3 did not. I'll probably buy an HDMI cable tomorrow for the PS3, but it would have been nice if it were included. I also find that the 360 menu is much cleaner and easier to find your way around than the PS3 menu, and in general the 360's presentation is superior, but that's not to say that the PS3 menu is bad, just that it will take some getting used to.

I see the good in both consoles, but I think the PS3 is probably slightly superior.

I'm not a big fan of Uncharted, though. I feel like I've already killed as many enemies as I have in the average Assassin's Creed game, and I'm only on chapter six or seven or something. I'm excited to play Infamous 2 once I get that HDMI cable, but let's be real here... I'm just running out the clock until The Last of Us.

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

I don't know if you like Tekken or not but on Tuesday there's a free to play Tekken game exclusively on the PS3 available for download.

 

[JGlass]

I don't know if you like Tekken or not but on Tuesday there's a free to play Tekken game exclusively on the PS3 available for download.

I'm not really a Tekken fan, but I might download it anyway. I mean, I have 250 gigs to fill with games, no harm in downloading it, right?

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

I'm not really a Tekken fan, but I might download it anyway. I mean, I have 250 gigs to fill with games, no harm in downloading it, right?

I think you should do it, I need someone to fight. I hope F2P fighters is something other people follow suit with as well.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

What are your thoughts on Arrested Development? And if you dig or have watched said show, what do you think of the new season so far?

 

[JGlass]

What are your thoughts on Arrested Development? And if you dig or have watched said show, what do you think of the new season so far?

I watched it on and off when it was on the air, but I wasn't a dedicated fan or anything. As such, I haven't watched the new season. I might get around to it eventually, but I still need to finish The Wire.

 

[Stormtrooper]

I'm not a big fan of Uncharted, though. I feel like I've already killed as many enemies as I have in the average Assassin's Creed game, and I'm only on chapter six or seven or something. I'm excited to play Infamous 2 once I get that HDMI cable, but let's be real here... I'm just running out the clock until The Last of Us.

Are you still on Uncharted 1? The combat was a bit of an issue with 1, and it was better in 2. Plus, what's wrong with killing people? That's kinda what you have to do in tons of games. You'll probably kill people in Last of us too.

 

[JGlass]

Are you still on Uncharted 1? The combat was a bit of an issue with 1, and it was better in 2. Plus, what's wrong with killing people? That's kinda what you have to do in tons of games. You'll probably kill people in Last of us too.

Of course it's Uncharted 1, I got it yesterday! I'm good, but I'm not that good.

I have no problem with killing bad guy video game characters, it's just the sheer amount you kill in such a short amount of time and the fact that I don't fully understand who these guys are. Are they mercenaries hired by that bad guy that killed the old guy you were exploring with? If so, how is he able to afford so many of them? And are they Blackwater or something? I must have killed hundreds of them already, and I'm about 25% through the game. What mercenary organization does he work with that employs this incredible number of people? And why do they employ guards that are so easily killed by one guy that seems to be relatively untrained in gun play and underequiped?

Granted, this game is clearly not grounded in reality, and as such it's not so much a complaint as a tangent into my real complaint, and that is that the nature of the universe Uncharted exists in isn't exactly made clear. You're just thrust into the story before you have a chance to understand what exactly is going on. Okay, Drake is a treasure hunter, some lady is filming his adventures, and apparently some bad people want the treasure too. Why is it so important that Drake recovers this treasure and not the other people? Because he wants to become rich and famous off of it? That's not really compelling me to play this game: so I can help Nathan Drake, who is kind of a tool in general, get rich and famous.

Even other games where your character is kind of a tool, at least there's some compelling motivation. Your character in Saints Row two and three is doing everything for the gang and trying to help build their empire and topple the evil groups that stand in his way. Ezio is kind of a douche, but he has noble goals. Jason Brody is pretty much James Franco in bro form, but I have no problem killing slave traders and fighting for the island natives that live in fear of the pirates. But in Uncharted you're playing as a douche who wants to get the treasure because he wants to get rich off of it and the villain is another, albeit bigger, douche that wants to do the exact same thing, except he's much better equipped to do so. If I were Drake I'd probably give up after watching my partner get murdered and just barely escaping with my own life and go back to America where people kill each other in a civilized manner. He still has the last, and most important page of Francis Drake's diary, so he can pretty much just crumple it up and drop it down the garbage disposal to spite the bad guy.

Of course, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for why Nathan Drake is hopping around the jungle risking his life to find this treasure, and I'm sure it will be revealed eventually, but for now it just feels like I'm doing it because there needs to be a video game to play, so here it is!

All of that spew can probably be attributed to the fact that I hate the gameplay. The firefights are annoying and often overwhelming the first time you play it through, and the exploration seems directionless for a non-sandbox game. The climbing and jumping is especially lackluster and doesn't have half the appeal that Assassin's Creed did, but that's possibly because jumping from rooftop to rooftop will always be more fun than scaling a very plain, very dull rock.

That said, I'm still compelled to play it because I hate to leave a story untold. I am very disappointed by the game, but to be honest, I was expecting something completely different, closer to the most recent Tomb Raider installment than what it actually is, which is a mixture of Assassin's Creed and a bad 3rd person shooter. I'll probably stop playing for a while and move onto Infamous 2, and then hopefully that will take up enough time before I move on to The Last of Us, but I'll probably get back to Uncharted after that is over.

 

[justinsayne]

What kind of a pussy would Drake be if he just gave up on finding the one thing he has spent his entire fucking life looking for? That's fucking terrible story telling.

 

[Stormtrooper]

Of course it's Uncharted 1, I got it yesterday! I'm good, but I'm not that good.

I keep forgetting you're dead set on starting the series with 1.

I have no problem with killing bad guy video game characters, it's just the sheer amount you kill in such a short amount of time and the fact that I don't fully understand who these guys are. Are they mercenaries hired by that bad guy that killed the old guy you were exploring with? If so, how is he able to afford so many of them? And are they Blackwater or something? I must have killed hundreds of them already, and I'm about 25% through the game. What mercenary organization does he work with that employs this incredible number of people? And why do they employ guards that are so easily killed by one guy that seems to be relatively untrained in gun play and underequiped?

Granted, this game is clearly not grounded in reality, and as such it's not so much a complaint as a tangent into my real complaint, and that is that the nature of the universe Uncharted exists in isn't exactly made clear. You're just thrust into the story before you have a chance to understand what exactly is going on. Okay, Drake is a treasure hunter, some lady is filming his adventures, and apparently some bad people want the treasure too. Why is it so important that Drake recovers this treasure and not the other people? Because he wants to become rich and famous off of it? That's not really compelling me to play this game: so I can help Nathan Drake, who is kind of a tool in general, get rich and famous.

Even other games where your character is kind of a tool, at least there's some compelling motivation. Your character in Saints Row two and three is doing everything for the gang and trying to help build their empire and topple the evil groups that stand in his way. Ezio is kind of a douche, but he has noble goals. Jason Brody is pretty much James Franco in bro form, but I have no problem killing slave traders and fighting for the island natives that live in fear of the pirates. But in Uncharted you're playing as a douche who wants to get the treasure because he wants to get rich off of it and the villain is another, albeit bigger, douche that wants to do the exact same thing, except he's much better equipped to do so. If I were Drake I'd probably give up after watching my partner get murdered and just barely escaping with my own life and go back to America where people kill each other in a civilized manner. He still has the last, and most important page of Francis Drake's diary, so he can pretty much just crumple it up and drop it down the garbage disposal to spite the bad guy.

Of course, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for why Nathan Drake is hopping around the jungle risking his life to find this treasure, and I'm sure it will be revealed eventually, but for now it just feels like I'm doing it because there needs to be a video game to play, so here it is!

All of that spew can probably be attributed to the fact that I hate the gameplay. The firefights are annoying and often overwhelming the first time you play it through, and the exploration seems directionless for a non-sandbox game. The climbing and jumping is especially lackluster and doesn't have half the appeal that Assassin's Creed did, but that's possibly because jumping from rooftop to rooftop will always be more fun than scaling a very plain, very dull rock.

That said, I'm still compelled to play it because I hate to leave a story untold. I am very disappointed by the game, but to be honest, I was expecting something completely different, closer to the most recent Tomb Raider installment than what it actually is, which is a mixture of Assassin's Creed and a bad 3rd person shooter. I'll probably stop playing for a while and move onto Infamous 2, and then hopefully that will take up enough time before I move on to The Last of Us, but I'll probably get back to Uncharted after that is over.

See that wasn't an issue with 2. The reasoning was there in 2. And the combat is better in 2. I'll say it again. You should go with 2. 1 was rated highly when it came out but had a few issues, 2 got rid of the vast majority of said issues.

And the thing I like about the gunplay is that you do have a limited amount of resources, and it isn't just run and gun like a lot of games.

I found the movement in Uncharted so much better then Assassins Creed (III) because there was thought behind it. In ACIII you hold a button while running and automatically climb, jump over stuff, shimmy across something, ets. While it looked cooler then Uncharted, it lacked any sense of thought or puzzle. In Uncharted I enjoyed having to figure out how to get from A to B, figuring out where to climb and whatnot.

If movement was what made the game awesome, Mirrors Edge would have been amazing. Mirrors Edge wasn't amazing (albeit I hold out hope for a 2nd one).

Here. Let me help you finish Uncharted 1 so you can play Uncharted 2:

Spoiler

[youtube]61Rho1tmnvk[/youtube]

It's 2 hours, but it'll be worth it if you are disappointed by 1.

 

[justinsayne]

1 is not a bad game just sit back & enjoy the ride alot of the issues you seem to have with the story get explained as you go on, there's 22 chapters in the game so you still have long way to go.

Uncharted 2 & 3 are much better in both story & overall gameplay.

 

[Stormtrooper]

1 is not a bad game just sit back & enjoy the ride alot of the issues you seem to have with the story get explained as you go on, there's 22 chapters in the game so you still have long way to go.

Uncharted 2 & 3 are much better in both story & overall gameplay.

I just watched 1 on Youtube. Holy shit. JGlass is in for many a awesome plot twists.

 

[TLC]

Xbox has a glitch where you can download Fable 3 for free, pretty sweet.

 

[Miko]

There was a poster by the name of Papa Shango who had a run in with a Vacuum before, it was a pretty funny story if you're bored & want to hunt something down from a few years ago.

I remember I always thought he was a bit of a bell end, but I remember it from the time and I found the thread, funny and horrific story.

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?t=24734&page=2

Everything you have done during this conversation has been perfect, this included. I applaud your work, sir.

My cue to stop then.

 

[JGlass]

I had a dream last night where I had to ask my high school nurse for a tooth brush, and the only one she had was a dog's tooth brush. I'm pretty sure this is the first time anyone in the the history of the world has had this dream.

What kind of a pussy would Drake be if he just gave up on finding the one thing he has spent his entire fucking life looking for? That's fucking terrible story telling.

I don't think I'd call him a pussy if he gave up after finding out that his enemy has an army the size of the population of a small country. I'd probably call him smart.

I keep forgetting you're dead set on starting the series with 1.

I know, I'm one of those guys. Mass Effect 2 is so much better than Mass Effect 1, but Mass Effect 1 set me up for the journey that Mass Effect 2 provided.

Oh man, I'm starting to get that itch. I might have to play some more Mass Effect after The Last of Us.

See that wasn't an issue with 2. The reasoning was there in 2. And the combat is better in 2. I'll say it again. You should go with 2. 1 was rated highly when it came out but had a few issues, 2 got rid of the vast majority of said issues.

And the thing I like about the gunplay is that you do have a limited amount of resources, and it isn't just run and gun like a lot of games.

I do like that you have to make your shots count in Uncharted, but the actual mechanics of the gunfights aren't doing you many favors in that regard. There are far too many enemies for the lack of ammunition, the targeting system is very poor, and the second you leave cover you're almost guaranteed to get riddled with bullets.

I found the movement in Uncharted so much better then Assassins Creed (III) because there was thought behind it. In ACIII you hold a button while running and automatically climb, jump over stuff, shimmy across something, ets. While it looked cooler then Uncharted, it lacked any sense of thought or puzzle. In Uncharted I enjoyed having to figure out how to get from A to B, figuring out where to climb and whatnot.

Ehhh, the movement in AC3 was probably the 3rd or 4th best of the series, and one of the reasons is because it lacked the majesty and excitement of jumping around from building to building in Constantinople or Rome. The movement in AC Revelations was unbelievably exciting and possibly some of the best in the game. I also really enjoyed the movement in the most recent Tomb Raider release, but it was probably enhanced by Laura Croft's excellent voice acting.

If movement was what made the game awesome, Mirrors Edge would have been amazing. Mirrors Edge wasn't amazing (albeit I hold out hope for a 2nd one).

I've seen Mirrors Edge played, and while I'm not all that interested in it, I see the appeal.

Here. Let me help you finish Uncharted 1 so you can play Uncharted 2:

Spoiler

[youtube]61Rho1tmnvk[/youtube]

It's 2 hours, but it'll be worth it if you are disappointed by 1.

Sorry, but Uncharted 1 must be played. It must.

My cue to stop then.

[YOUTUBE]8YaaZZN9VYs[/YOUTUBE]

 

[justinsayne]

I do like that you have to make your shots count in Uncharted, but the actual mechanics of the gunfights aren't doing you many favors in that regard. There are far too many enemies for the lack of ammunition, the targeting system is very poor, and the second you leave cover you're almost guaranteed to get riddled with bullets.

I didn't have this problem at all, what difficulty are you playing on?!

While Mass Effect certainly has it's moments & can be a fairly good game when it wants to be, I'm clearly not loving it as much as you did, that you said you're clearly not loving Uncharted as much as I did, so I think we're pretty even.

I started Deus Ex: Human Revolution last night, & I'm already enjoying that more than Mass Effect, though it's clear my run & gun strategy is not going to work well in this game.

 

[JGlass]

I didn't have this problem at all, what difficulty are you playing on?!

Normal.

While Mass Effect certainly has it's moments & can be a fairly good game when it wants to be, I'm clearly not loving it as much as you did, that you said you're clearly not loving Uncharted as much as I did, so I think we're pretty even.

Mass Effect is a very good game. Mass Effect 2 is a GREAT game.

 

[The Butcher]

I started Deus Ex: Human Revolution last night, & I'm already enjoying that more than Mass Effect, though it's clear my run & gun strategy is not going to work well in this game.

Great game. I dare say I liked it more than the original, which is a bonafied classic. Run & gun is more doable after you've upgraded, but personally I tried to be as stealthy as possible. I'm gonna have to dust it off and go for a different ending one of these days.

I've been playing The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay/Assault on Dark Athena the last few days. I'd borrowed the first one for Xbox, but never got far, so finally getting to see the game in its totality was great. It holds up tremendously well after about 10 years.

Just getting started on Dark Athena but so far, so good. Like Deus Ex, there's the mixture of shooting and stealth to the Riddick games. I really appreciate these kinds of FPSs in a world where Call of Duty and other multiplayer focused shooters rule the roost.

 

[Stormtrooper]

I had a dream last night where I had to ask my high school nurse for a tooth brush, and the only one she had was a dog's tooth brush. I'm pretty sure this is the first time anyone in the the history of the world has had this dream.

Did you use the dog toothbrush? Did it come with dog toothpaste?

I know, I'm one of those guys. Mass Effect 2 is so much better than Mass Effect 1, but Mass Effect 1 set me up for the journey that Mass Effect 2 provided.

And yet here you are basically saying you're gonna give up on a franchise because of the first (inferior) game even though the next game is a classic.

Oh man, I'm starting to get that itch. I might have to play some more Mass Effect after The Last of Us.

I may be the only person who has never ever wanted to play any Mass Effect.

I do like that you have to make your shots count in Uncharted, but the actual mechanics of the gunfights aren't doing you many favors in that regard. There are far too many enemies for the lack of ammunition, the targeting system is very poor, and the second you leave cover you're almost guaranteed to get riddled with bullets.

So in other words, when you are unprotected, the bad guys shoot at you and hit you. Sounds pretty realistic to me.

And sure there are a lot of bad guys, but it's not like they are impossible to kill or anything.

Ehhh, the movement in AC3 was probably the 3rd or 4th best of the series, and one of the reasons is because it lacked the majesty and excitement of jumping around from building to building in Constantinople or Rome. The movement in AC Revelations was unbelievably exciting and possibly some of the best in the game. I also really enjoyed the movement in the most recent Tomb Raider release, but it was probably enhanced by Laura Croft's excellent voice acting.

3 is the only AC I've played. It looked cool to run around the trees, but it was so damn simple that there was no challenge to it. Isn't the running controls (or lack thereof) identical in the others, or did they just oversimplify things in 3 for the sake of oversimplifying things?

I've seen Mirrors Edge played, and while I'm not all that interested in it, I see the appeal.

The game did one thing right, and that was the parkour-like running. If they could have fixed the other aspects of the game to at least be solid it would have been amazing.

Sorry, but Uncharted 1 must be played. It must.

I'm just trying to save you from yourself.

You need to play Uncharted 2, and yet you feel obligated to finish 1 for some godforsaken reason. There's no bonus points for finishing 1 then starting 2. At least lower the difficulty level so you can get done with the game sooner or something.