Glass Ass: The OFFICIAL JGlass Thread

[JGlass]

We must stop agreeing on movies, you and I. It's against the natural order of things.

Maybe we've gotten all our differences out of the way and are now able to fuse together as one movie critic. Which do you like better, Uncle Glass or JSam?

You do realize John Cena is my favorite wrestler? And I said I have no problems with Cena and Rock fighting at Mania for the title. All I said was I didn't like how they had Rock win, that was it.

I'm just busting chops Theo, no offense meant.

I wasn't thrilled with how Rock won either. I was fully prepared for Rock to win, but after a People's Elbow? Sure, that move has finished guys before, but this is one of the most important matches in CM Punk's career, at least give him a hero's death.

 

[Uncle Sam]

But yes, Rey did not look good in the Rumble last night. He moved slowly, he's clearly unable to keep off weight (and at his age who can blame him?), and he's obviously on his last legs. It's a shame since I would love to see Rey have one last hurrah, but I don't think he has it in him.

Wait, no - the balance has corrected itself.

 

[JGlass]

Wait, no - the balance has corrected itself.

You know I'd defend Rey's honor to hell and back again, but he didn't look good last night. Rocking the lowcut tank top was not a good look for our boy.

 

[Uncle Sam]

This is a man who's come to the ring wearing silver body paint, not to mention... this thing:

 

[JGlass]

This is a man who's come to the ring wearing silver body paint, not to mention... this thing:

And a man who has his nationality tattooed to his stomach in case he forgets where he came from.

 

[Theo Mays]

I wasn't thrilled with how Rock won either. I was fully prepared for Rock to win, but after a People's Elbow? Sure, that move has finished guys before, but this is one of the most important matches in CM Punk's career, at least give him a hero's death.

Yup. I knew Rock would win and Cena/Rock was gonna happen. No problems there, I've been anticipating it for a good while now. However Punk and Rock seemed off and a kick out for Punk from the People's Elbow would have been nice only for him to get finished with the Rock Bottom.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I forgot where I came from once. That was some really awkward sex.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Jericho being #2 in the Rumble was the biggest shock of the night for me. The second biggest shock was Punk not kicking out of that elbow.

I wonder if that will lead to Punk getting even more over than he is, ala Daniel Bryanafter his 18 second loss.

 

[Coco]

You know what I hate? IWC guys who call a fan a sheep if he so much as calls anything WWE does decent. I like Heelbook on Facebook, they usually have funny memes, but never read the comments. Holy shit they mad.

In all fairness, I think they have a point. WWE has built up such an illogical brand loyalty that there are undoubtedly a good number of sheep out there. The "I buy Mania every year no matter what" mentality is a great example. Some people will stand by the product regardless of quality. Of course not all WWE supporters are like that. But I'd venture to say a fair amount are.

Judging by the amount of PPV buys, reviews on the main event, and reviews on the Streak match, you're in the minority on this way of thinking. But your opinions is yours.

I wholly believe that a better product could do more buys and lead to greater satisfaction with the card from top to bottom. But if you want to settle, that's fine by me.

I was completely fulfilled by the WM buildup last year. And it delivered.

No. Three matches delivered, while the rest of the card suffered from the usual time management issues. How WWE manages to fuck up what should be an easy four hours every year is beyond me, but they do.

I agree with this. It's a perfect example of how WWE isn't properly building stars since they need to keep paying part-timers for one-off matches that should be filled by full-time guys on the roster.

Not what I'm saying at all. I have no problem with part-timers getting big matches. My issue is that it seems like all WWE can do to create buzz any more. I love Lesnar and Jericho. I've made my peace with the likes of Trips, Taker, and Rock. I think they all deserve their spots. But being unable to garner substantial interest without those guys is a problem.

Wah wah wah, we smarks want to see our favorite guys booked to be in the big match and the WWE can worry about their big stars later.

That's you guys, that's what you sound like.

And yet I think Brock vs Rock is the best option for a Mania main event this year.

Where is your God now, Christ killer?

And I recognize that you realize that this was all business, but I'd hardly call this nutless booking. When has the WWE taken big gambles going into WrestleMania? We had Taker/Triple H two years in a row and Taker/HBK the two years before that. The world title matches over just about the entire history of WrestleMania have involved exactly two unproven stars (Delberto and Bryan).

I'd hardly call Rock at WM15, Yoko and Bret at WM9, Michaels at WM11, Jericho at WM18, Cena and Batista at Mania 21, Eddie at Mania 20, or Mysterio at Mania 22 "proven." Sure, some of those men were veterans who could put on a decent match (no unlike Bryan), but that doesn't mean they were proven draws at that level. Your talking point isn't really holding water with me.

There's always a lot of negativity in the air after a PPV where things don't go as planned. It'll go away within a week or so when everyone is just excited for the next big match.

The problem isn't that things didn't go as planned. It's that they went exactly as planned. Last night was the soul-crushing status quo.

Nowadays? When has it ever been any different?

Even when they used to bring in Hogan, I never felt as though he was used in soul-crushingly obvious ways that Rock is being used in. And I certainly never felt like Hogan was used as a band-aid for an ailing product.

Today, I don't feel the same about the use of the big part-timers.

 

[JGlass]

And yet I think Brock vs Rock is the best option for a Mania main event this year.

Where is your God now, Christ killer?

According to Times magazine, dead.

I'd hardly call Rock at WM15, Yoko and Bret at WM9, Michaels at WM11, Jericho at WM18, Cena and Batista at Mania 21, Eddie at Mania 20, or Mysterio at Mania 22 "proven." Sure, some of those men were veterans who could put on a decent match (no unlike Bryan), but that doesn't mean they were proven draws at that level. Your talking point isn't really holding water with me.

The Rock was a World Champion at 15 and had just gotten the heel build of a lifetime with his feud with Mankind. Yoko was a superstar from the second he debuted that gimmick and got a huge push to WrestleMania 9, and he'd wind up being one of the WWE's all time great monster heels. Bret Hart had years of a strong build and had a very successful title run going into 9, and the same could be said of Jericho at 18. Eddie had basically been primed for years to be a champion and was ridiculously over at the time of Mania 20. Mysterio at 22 is the only person that even comes close to not being a proven commodity for the WWE.

Look at all of those situations and tell me that seeing something like Ziggler/Del Rio would fit in.

The problem isn't that things didn't go as planned. It's that they went exactly as planned. Last night was the soul-crushing status quo.

I think the problem is that you're not as emotionally invested in it as the majority of the fans are. I was ecstatic when Cena won the Rumble because I want my favorite wrestler to get his rematch against The Rock. The Rock's fans were going nuts because they got to see their guy win the WWE Championship after 9 long years.

Your status quo is blood pumping excitement for others.

Even when they used to bring in Hogan, I never felt as though he was used in soul-crushingly obvious ways that Rock is being used in. And I certainly never felt like Hogan was used as a band-aid for an ailing product.

Today, I don't feel the same about the use of the big part-timers.

Probably because in Hogan's heyday the product wasn't ailing.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Well after 3 tries I finally got my XBL to work correctly so I'm gonna yell at 12 year kids while I play Halo. That will make me feel good.

 

[Bernkastel]

This is a man who's come to the ring wearing silver body paint, not to mention... this thing:

Actually I thought that attire looked awesome.

 

[Coco]

The Rock was a World Champion at 15 and had just gotten the heel build of a lifetime with his feud with Mankind. Yoko was a superstar from the second he debuted that gimmick and got a huge push to WrestleMania 9, and he'd wind up being one of the WWE's all time great monster heels. Bret Hart had years of a strong build and had a very successful title run going into 9, and the same could be said of Jericho at 18. Eddie had basically been primed for years to be a champion and was ridiculously over at the time of Mania 20. Mysterio at 22 is the only person that even comes close to not being a proven commodity for the WWE.

If you think Bret and Eddie had significant builds to their main event runs, you're delusional. They were strong midcarders who got hot-shotted. Same with Mysterio. Rock at best was just hitting his stride at the level at 15. If there was a book on how to kills business in ten easy steps, Yoko's face would be on the fucking cover. And if you think Jericho had a successful reign, you clearly weren't watching at the time.

I would easily put Bryan and Del Rio on the level of Eddie and Mysterio at the time of their first Mania main events. Comparisons to the rest really depend on how you view the pre-brand split rosters compared to today's. But to say that WWE doesn't play with untested talent at Mania time is fundamentally wrong.

Look at all of those situations and tell me that seeing something like Ziggler/Del Rio would fit in.

Ziggler's more ready now than HBK was in January 1995.

Your status quo is blood pumping excitement for others.

You call it blood pumping excitement. I call it Pavlovian response to WWE taking the easy way out. Tomato, tomatoe.

Probably because in Hogan's heyday the product wasn't ailing.

Fill in the blank:

The product is ailing because _________.

 

[JGlass]

That's right, embrace the hate.

If you think Bret and Eddie had significant builds to their main event runs, you're delusional. They were strong midcarders who got hot-shotted. Same with Mysterio. Rock at best was just hitting his stride at the level at 15. If there was a book on how to kills business in ten easy steps, Yoko's face would be on the fucking cover. And if you think Jericho had a successful reign, you clearly weren't watching at the time.

Bret Hart had been wrestling in the WWE for nearly 9 years by the time WrestleMania 9 rolled around. Eddie had been wrestling in America for nearly 10 years before WrestleMania 20. Rey had been at the very least a fairly well known figure in professional wrestling since 1996 which was 10 years before WreslteMania.

Let's compare that to Alberto Del Rio and Bryan. Del Rio had been on WWE TV for less than a year when he got his Mania title shot. Please explain to me how he was in the same boat as three guys that all put in around a decade of work prior to their Mania title matches?

Bryan is an interesting case because he put in plenty of time in the Indy circuit, but lets not pretend that meant anything to more than maybe 10% of the WWE audience, and that's being generous. He had two years in the WWE before his Mania title match and had a moderate following that just exploded at WrestleMania.

I would easily put Bryan and Del Rio on the level of Eddie and Mysterio at the time of their first Mania main events. Comparisons to the rest really depend on how you view the pre-brand split rosters compared to today's. But to say that WWE doesn't play with untested talent at Mania time is fundamentally wrong.

The only one of those people that you mentioned that even comes close to Del Rio and Bryan in terms of experience and fan exposure is Yokozuna. Congratulations, I'll concede that one. The number of unproven stars in Mania title matches is now up to 3 as opposed to the 7 or 8 you suggested (I don't feel like going back to count).

Ziggler's more ready now than HBK was in January 1995.

It's hard to argue that point based on how different things are between then and now, but considering Ziggler is garbage in the ring while HBK can at least put on an entertaining match I'd be inclined to disagree with you.

You call it blood pumping excitement. I call it Pavlovian response to WWE taking the easy way out. Tomato, tomatoe.

So if people like John Cena and/or The Rock they're just simpletons trained to nod and agree with whatever the WWE puts in front of them? I suppose that makes sense, it's not like John Cena has ever given anyone any reason to like him whatsoever.

Fill in the blank:

The product is ailing because _________.

I dunno, I ain't no business analyst. If I had to guess it would be because professional wrestling doesn't have the same punch that reality TV does.

 

[Nate DaMac]

There isn't a match I want to see more than Cena vs Rock 2.

Also, I never once saw Rey or Eddie fail to get a reaction. They were over no matter where they went, something that only started happening with Bryan this past year and still hasn't happened with Delberto.

 

[Coco]

Bret Hart had been wrestling in the WWE for nearly 9 years by the time WrestleMania 9 rolled around. Eddie had been wrestling in America for nearly 10 years before WrestleMania 20. Rey had been at the very least a fairly well known figure in professional wrestling since 1996 which was 10 years before WreslteMania.

Let's compare that to Alberto Del Rio and Bryan. Del Rio had been on WWE TV for less than a year when he got his Mania title shot. Please explain to me how he was in the same boat as three guys that all put in around a decade of work prior to their Mania title matches?

Who gives a fuck how long it took them to get where they were? Exposure at the top of the card is all that really matters at that level.

Bryan is an interesting case because he put in plenty of time in the Indy circuit, but lets not pretend that meant anything to more than maybe 10% of the WWE audience, and that's being generous. He had two years in the WWE before his Mania title match and had a moderate following that just exploded at WrestleMania.

Bryan was wildly over in 2010 before he was paired with the Bellas and then buried. He'd have gotten to the main event sooner if WWE brass didn't feel the need to fuck people over to see how they react. I don't see how he didn't belong.

The only one of those people that you mentioned that even comes close to Del Rio and Bryan in terms of experience and fan exposure is Yokozuna. Congratulations, I'll concede that one. The number of unproven stars in Mania title matches is now up to 3 as opposed to the 7 or 8 you suggested (I don't feel like going back to count).

The confidence with which you choose to be wrong is disheartening.

It's hard to argue that point based on how different things are between then and now, but considering Ziggler is garbage in the ring while HBK can at least put on an entertaining match I'd be inclined to disagree with you.

You've watched one too many HBK video packages, and read one too many Slyfox posts.

So if people like John Cena and/or The Rock they're just simpletons trained to nod and agree with whatever the WWE puts in front of them? I suppose that makes sense, it's not like John Cena has ever given anyone any reason to like him whatsoever.

I think it's entirely possible to like them. I think the masses eating them up and feverishly anticipating the rematch is a product of the strange brand loyalty WWE's cultivated over the years. Kudos to WWE for making that work for them.

Even if you don't agree with what I'm saying, it should be clear why I'm not wildly excited about this. At the very least admit that you see it.

 

[JGlass]

Who gives a fuck how long it took them to get where they were? Exposure at the top of the card is all that really matters at that level.

Then Del Rio has even less of an argument on account of him having almost zero main event exposure. Then again, how could he have with less than a year in the WWE?

That's supposing this point is valid... which it isn't. Of course what you do before your main event stint is important; it's how you endear yourself to the fans.

Bryan was wildly over in 2010 before he was paired with the Bellas and then buried. He'd have gotten to the main event sooner if WWE brass didn't feel the need to fuck people over to see how they react. I don't see how he didn't belong.

Never said he didn't belong. He clearly did as evidenced by how ridiculously over he is now. All I'm suggesting is that the WWE rarely uses unproven stars in these matches.

The confidence with which you choose to be wrong is disheartening.

Dually noted.

You've watched one too many HBK video packages, and read one too many Slyfox posts.

Ziggler is garbage in the ring, and I don't need Slyfox to explain to me why.

And I've always been a modestly supportive of HBK's wrestling abilities.

I think it's entirely possible to like them. I think the masses eating them up and feverishly anticipating the rematch is a product of the strange brand loyalty WWE's cultivated over the years. Kudos to WWE for making that work for them.

I won't disagree that the WWE has created a unique (though after my experience on Amtrak I'm not so sure it is unique anymore) brand loyalty that involves abusing their audience but making it up with petty rewards, but calling a positive reaction to Cena vs. Rock for the title a result of said strange brand loyalty is just silly. It's a dream match... but for the title. What's not to love?

Even if you don't agree with what I'm saying, it should be clear why I'm not wildly excited about this. At the very least admit that you see it.

I do. A staggeringly high amount of my wrestling buds aren't overly enthused, but I'm sure most of them will come around come Mania time. It's a rematch, sure, but it's still John Cena vs. The Rock, and the WWE Title is now on the line.

 

[Coco]

Then Del Rio has even less of an argument on account of him having almost zero main event exposure. Then again, how could he have with less than a year in the WWE?

He had enough exposure to put Rey and Christian on the injured list and participate in a world title match at TLC. That's a lot of exposure for a guy with five months in the company when he won the Rumble. As strong a push as we've seen this decade.

That's supposing this point is valid... which it isn't. Of course what you do before your main event stint is important; it's how you endear yourself to the fans.

Which isn't a concern for the likes of Yoko, ADR, Ziggler, Jericho, Rock, or Bryan. You know, heels.

For Bret, Rey, Eddie, or a Jeff Hardy, it matters to an extent. Guys who have done the time has heels normally make good faces IMO because they already have a rapport with fans. Getting a call-up as a face is as tough a gig as you can get, IMO.

And I'm losing the thread. So I'm bringing this in for a landing soon.

I won't disagree that the WWE has created a unique (though after my experience on Amtrak I'm not so sure it is unique anymore) brand loyalty that involves abusing their audience but making it up with petty rewards, but calling a positive reaction to Cena vs. Rock for the title a result of said strange brand loyalty is just silly. It's a dream match... but for the title. What's not to love?

I was over the feud before we saw the match last year. I doubt WWE has the balls to give it more of an edge this year. A pedestrian Rumble winner vs champion set up suggests I'm right. Why should I care?

I do. A staggeringly high amount of my wrestling buds aren't overly enthused, but I'm sure most of them will come around come Mania time. It's a rematch, sure, but it's still John Cena vs. The Rock, and the WWE Title is now on the line.

I'm excited for Triple H vs Lesnar 2. My lack of interest is not about it being a rematch.

 

[Coco]

I should also mention that this isn't uber-critical, super-smark rage-posting. And I've probably been overstating just how opposed to this I am.

Docile? Yes. Boring? Not necessarily. I'll actually like Rock vs Cena again. I just won't have the overwhelming urge to see it live. And I can live with that.

You should probably go ahead and tell D-Man that four hundred dollars is a bit much for Mania. I'd rather go to a PPV that's perceived as second rate and get more for my money. Lord knows the NY/NJ market gets enough of them.

Then again, we know what I think of the alleged lore of Mania...

 

[Nate DaMac]

Extreme Rules will be better. It always is.

 

[shattered dreams]

It appears our little Coco is growing up before our very eyes. Don't worry Jglass, your balls will drop eventually.

 

[JGlass]

Yes, because agreeing with shattered dream=maturity.

 

[shattered dreams]

I haven't read 95% of what Coco has been posting. Quite possible I disagree with plenty of it. What I could tell from his general style and approach was that he is entering that next stage in the evolution of wrestling fandom. Trash it all you want. It will likely happen to you one day.

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

What exactly are the stages?

 

[JGlass]

I haven't read 95% of what Coco has been posting. Quite possible I disagree with plenty of it. What I could tell from his general style and approach was that he is entering that next stage in the evolution of wrestling fandom. Trash it all you want. It will likely happen to you one day.

What stage is that? And how close is he to the part where he just gets really fat, loses all his hair, and constantly talks about how wrestling used to be so much better than it is now?