Campaign for Truth HQ

[JGlass]

This is not a group dedicated to finding out why they haven't cured cancer yet. This is a group dedicated to a much more important cause: finding out who is the mastermind behind the clearly corrupt Survivor Series Tournament.

Why is this so important, you ask? Because while now it may just be a poster tournament, next it may be the Video Game Tournament, then the Hall of Fame, then perhaps even the annual WrestleZone Tournament. Once he (it can't be a she, a woman wouldn't be smart enough to execute this elaborate of a plan) has controlled all these tournaments, it's only a matter of time before he overthrows the Board Room and appoints an entire new staff of Nazi Moderators. You think the Sly/KB Regime is bad? At least they're honest. The new Nazi Mod Regime will spit in your face and tell you that you did it, and they will run this forum into the ground. Don't question it, my logic is undeniable.

Because of this, we need to find out whom is the mastermind behind this operation. Here is what we have so far.

The Puppet Master- The Puppet Master, who has been given this title because he is pulling the strings, is the one who is making the plan happen. He is the one who is bribing officials and players, turning posters against each other, and causing the flubbing of basic math to tilt the odds in his favor. My sources tell me that the Puppet Master is a regular poster and someone who is well known inside and out of the cage, as they need to have a certain level of influence in order to execute their plan.

Trinity- Better known to some as TM, this creepy mother fucker was the mastermind of the last Survivor Series, which was a raging success despite the tricks he played. He broke a lot of eggs, but he made the world's tastiest omelet. He may have passed a few of his trade secrets onto the Puppet Master in exchange for pictures from facebook accounts, which Trinity will use for freaking other people out. We are in the process of taking him in for questioning and cavity searches.

I need volunteers to help me unravel this mystery. Remember, it may seem like a small problem now, but today it's the Survivor Series, tomorrow it's the entire website.

Enroll here, and remember.

We want the Truth.

 

[Leafy]

I don't get the joke. Where is it?

 

[The Doctor]

Truth, you say?

Well, as a motion, may I suggest that it is "Little Johnny", the man a clearly out-of-his-mind Truth raves about in his promos, is the Puppetmaster? Perhaps Truth is not as high as we think he is, and he actually knows something. The Truth is on fire indeed.

 

[JGlass]

I'm sorry, are you looking for a punch line? If you want a good laugh go to lolcats. This is serious fucking business.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

Enroll'd.

 

[JGlass]

Truth, you say?

Well, as a motion, may I suggest that it is "Little Johnny", the man a clearly out-of-his-mind Truth raves about in his promos, is the Puppetmaster? Perhaps Truth is not as high as we think he is, and he actually knows something. The Truth is on fire indeed.

Interesting proposition Doc. I think you very well may be onto something. Someone tweet R-Truth regarding the whereabouts of Little Johnny. If we can find out the area of the country he lives in, we might be able to match an IP address to his area.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

It's me

 

[Stormtrooper]

SNS clearly has something to do with this. He is the one who benefited the most, before the ruse was discovered and his unfair advantage was removed.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

Stormtrooper makes an exceptionally valid point. SNS had a clear, earth-shattering advantage from the very beginning. He should be the current focus of our investigation.

 

[Nate DaMac]

jet fuwel dosent burn hot enguoh to melt steal!!!1!!!

 

[JGlass]

It's me

If a woman isn't smart enough to do this, you certainly aren't.

SNS clearly has something to do with this. He is the one who benefited the most, before the ruse was discovered and his unfair advantage was removed.

I thought so too, but then he was saddled with dead weight teammates like HHF, Gil T Azel, and of course myself. The only explanation for SNS's sudden fall from a sure path to victory would either be he's not involved, or the Puppet Master panicked as it became to obvious and fixed the competition for SNS to lose. He was successful, as SNS has officially dropped out of the contest.

It appears that either The Grapefruits of Wrath or Fox Force Five is the favored team of the Puppet Masters, but which is it? And what does he have to stand to gain from them winning?

 

[The Doctor]

It is done!

It appears that either The Grapefruits of Wrath or Fox Force Five is the favored team of the Puppet Masters, but which is it? And what does he have to stand to gain from them winning?

I believe it is neither. Rather, it is none other than D-Man who is the man who will gain the most from this! Did tdigle not say that D-Man was getting a push to the finals, despite being eliminated twice??

 

[JGlass]

Excellent work Doc. It's only a matter of time before the Truth is found now.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

I thought so too, but then he was saddled with dead weight teammates like HHF, Gil T Azel, and of course myself. The only explanation for SNS's sudden fall from a sure path to victory would either be he's not involved, or the Puppet Master panicked as it became to obvious and fixed the competition for SNS to lose. He was successful, as SNS has officially dropped out of the contest.

I can assure you SNS had something to do with it, but something happened with the tournament heirarchy, and SNS was forced to resign. I imagine bringing him in for questioning would jeopardize his life. We need to put together a special task force that would ensure the safety of our intel.

 

[Stormtrooper]

I thought so too, but then he was saddled with dead weight teammates like HHF, Gil T Azel, and of course myself. The only explanation for SNS's sudden fall from a sure path to victory would either be he's not involved, or the Puppet Master panicked as it became to obvious and fixed the competition for SNS to lose. He was successful, as SNS has officially dropped out of the contest.

The bolded portion is exactly what I think happened. He or THEY (and I don't mean Jarrett/Abyss/Hogan/Bischoff/Hardy) favored SNS, they got busted, and he leveled the playing field.

It appears that either The Grapefruits of Wrath or Fox Force Five is the favored team of the Puppet Masters, but which is it? And what does he have to stand to gain from them winning?

Grapefruits of Wrath are winning because the team is loaded with likable people like Doc, SSC, and Serious Jones (as well as Mozz and Nate).

 

[Nate DaMac]

There here!

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

Grapefruits of Wrath are winning because the team is loaded with likable people like Doc, SSC, and Serious Jones (as well as Mozz and Nate).

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, you fucking piece of shit?

Edit: Doc told me to say sorry.

So, s-

*Sigh*
*Grumble*

Come on, Doc!

*sigh*

SORRY, Stormtrooper.

*rolls eyes*

 

[JGlass]

Agreed. As a clone of Boba Fett, I believe Stormtrooper may have the proper skills required to extract the information we need.

UPDATE

In addition to The Puppet Master and Trinity, both Little Johnny and SNS have been added to our list of important people. SNS is not necessarily involved with the operation anymore, but almost certainly was at one point. We need to find out what caused the falling out, and if possible, who gave SNS his orders, and what the Puppet Master had to gain from SNS winning, or at least making the finals?

Little Johnny has become our number one suspect for the identity of the Puppet Master. R-Truth, the knower of all things truthful, has mentioned him on several occasions, potentially as a candid hint regarding who is rigging the tournament. We're in the process of locating Little Johnny right now.

 

[Joe's Gonna Kill You]

 

[JGlass]

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, you fucking piece of shit?

Easy there Mozz! We can't have any dissension in our ranks! I know it's stressful, the pressure of this investigation has gotten to all of us, but we have to keep level heads, otherwise the Puppet Master wins, and if he wins we're all done for.

 

[Stormtrooper]

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, you fucking piece of shit?

What I meant to say is that the team is full of likable people like Doc SSC SJ Mozz and Nate. It was terribly worded. Mozz and Nate are likable posters as well.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

You know, I consider things like

2x+3y=4
3x+y=-1

Solve for X and Y

to be basic math. Flubbing something that's purely increment/decrement takes something fucking special

 

[Nate DaMac]

I think HHF needs to be considered as well. Clearly this beef between him and tdigle was an attempt to throw us off of their trail.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

Easy there Mozz! We can't have any dissension in our ranks! I know it's stressful, the pressure of this investigation has gotten to all of us, but we have to keep level heads, otherwise the Puppet Master wins, and if he wins we're all done for.

NO, STORMTROOPER AND I WILL TAKE THIS OUT IN THE PARKING LOT

NO WEAPONS
NO SMASH BALLS
NO ITEMS
MOZZ ONLY

FINAL DESTINATION

tch. Doc is making me apologize again.

*rolls eyes*

 

[The Doctor]

Don't forget D-Man, who was eliminated twice! I do not think he is involved in this situation, but is somehow part of The Puppetmaster's master plan. But what could be gained by D-Man winning this whole thing? What, indeed?