CoreyDavis
Dark Match Jobber
1. Worst part about being from England, having to tell your parents your gay first of all.
1A. Mayonaisse. Of couse, I have to devote some space to England's bland, greasy and simply miserable cuisine. Trite, but necessary. Why every British food establishment coats their entire meno in the bland, tastless dressing baffles me. Turkey tastes a lot better when it is not drenched in mayo and covered in plastic for five hours. Trust me.
2.The library. While obviously this is exclusive to Oxford and not the nation as a whole, the oh-so-wonderful Bodleian has caused me more grief than my tutorials (well, that's a slight exaggeration). First of all, as an associate student with visitng status, I can only go to the Bod between 5 and 10 p.m. Maybe I have restricted hours because I hold an American passport (see number 5), maybe not. Since I am one of the four college students who happens to be a morning person, adhering to this ridiculous schedule requires that I rearrange my study habits. In addition to my limited access, not being able to access to a photocopier (I know, I know, copyright laws) coupled with having to request books from this mysterious bookstack turns another otherwise boring trip to the library into an irritating and boring experience in the bureaucratic Bod.
3.Everything is closed on Sunday. For the people who live in the real world Sunday is a day to relax, spend time with the family, and depending on your religious affiliation, for worship. For many college students, however, it's time to run errands and cram before Monday or Tuesday's tutorial. However, neither of tasks are feasible when store windows are dark and the librarians also enjoy their day off. Ironically, the only life brewing along the streets is from the liquor stores and the pubs ...
4.Closing times. Everything closes around the time the sun sets, and for a country that is between 50 and 60 degrees North latitude, that's pretty damn early. I'm from New York, so I am accustomed to the 24-hour schedule of the city that never sleeps. While the pubs do remain open until a whopping 11pm, that's not too late considering on a Saturday night back home when my clock reads 11pm I am still contemplating which shoes to wear and if I need my warm coat. What are English people hanging out in pubs going to do on New Year's Eve - ring in the new year in their pyjamas?
5.Being treated like an American. I don't want to accuse all English people of acting rude or snotty toward Americans because some are very pleasant, but after seven weeks I've come to the conclusion that sometime in grade school English children are taught to equate 'stupid' with 'American.' Yes, we are arguably louder and more demanding, but that doesn't mean we're all ignorant. Interestingly enough, British radios blare American pop music, televisions broadcast American t.v. shows and the movies play American flicks. If we're so dumb, why do you cherish our popular culture? And one last thing: any country that manufactures the Spice Girls shouldn't throw stones at glass houses ...
Also add in the fact, if you don't like us we will blow your shit up.
1A. Mayonaisse. Of couse, I have to devote some space to England's bland, greasy and simply miserable cuisine. Trite, but necessary. Why every British food establishment coats their entire meno in the bland, tastless dressing baffles me. Turkey tastes a lot better when it is not drenched in mayo and covered in plastic for five hours. Trust me.
2.The library. While obviously this is exclusive to Oxford and not the nation as a whole, the oh-so-wonderful Bodleian has caused me more grief than my tutorials (well, that's a slight exaggeration). First of all, as an associate student with visitng status, I can only go to the Bod between 5 and 10 p.m. Maybe I have restricted hours because I hold an American passport (see number 5), maybe not. Since I am one of the four college students who happens to be a morning person, adhering to this ridiculous schedule requires that I rearrange my study habits. In addition to my limited access, not being able to access to a photocopier (I know, I know, copyright laws) coupled with having to request books from this mysterious bookstack turns another otherwise boring trip to the library into an irritating and boring experience in the bureaucratic Bod.
3.Everything is closed on Sunday. For the people who live in the real world Sunday is a day to relax, spend time with the family, and depending on your religious affiliation, for worship. For many college students, however, it's time to run errands and cram before Monday or Tuesday's tutorial. However, neither of tasks are feasible when store windows are dark and the librarians also enjoy their day off. Ironically, the only life brewing along the streets is from the liquor stores and the pubs ...
4.Closing times. Everything closes around the time the sun sets, and for a country that is between 50 and 60 degrees North latitude, that's pretty damn early. I'm from New York, so I am accustomed to the 24-hour schedule of the city that never sleeps. While the pubs do remain open until a whopping 11pm, that's not too late considering on a Saturday night back home when my clock reads 11pm I am still contemplating which shoes to wear and if I need my warm coat. What are English people hanging out in pubs going to do on New Year's Eve - ring in the new year in their pyjamas?
5.Being treated like an American. I don't want to accuse all English people of acting rude or snotty toward Americans because some are very pleasant, but after seven weeks I've come to the conclusion that sometime in grade school English children are taught to equate 'stupid' with 'American.' Yes, we are arguably louder and more demanding, but that doesn't mean we're all ignorant. Interestingly enough, British radios blare American pop music, televisions broadcast American t.v. shows and the movies play American flicks. If we're so dumb, why do you cherish our popular culture? And one last thing: any country that manufactures the Spice Girls shouldn't throw stones at glass houses ...
Also add in the fact, if you don't like us we will blow your shit up.
