The mindless time wasting thread

[Leafy]

I like pretending I own an underground panda market and I need to store them at their house.

It brings the boys to the yard.

 

[Coco]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello. How are you?
Stranger: hey
Stranger: not bad
Stranger: you?
You: I'd be better if you capitalized properly.
You: Type from the diaphragm.
You: It helps
You: Full stop.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

My first attempt. Eventually I'll find someone willing to play.

 

[Leafy]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
You: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 24, ?, America
Stranger: m or f
You: Does it matter?
Stranger: 20 f canada
You: oh my
Stranger: nope w/e
Stranger: oh my wat
Stranger: ?
You: your candian
You: canadian
Stranger: yaaaaa y
You: So you're obviously broken
Stranger: wat?broken? u dumb?
You: I mean you're canadian. They are all broken
You: We are all robots and Canada is the land of the misfit robots
Stranger: shut up douche
You: ha!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[X]

Download ManyCam and find some gore or gross-out GIFs, put em up as your screen, and try to get people to react to absolutely disgusting things like a man's head breaking in half or an obese man having sex with a raccoon.

Step your troll game up motherfuckers.

 

[Coco]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey. How are you?
Stranger: hi, fine,u?
You: I'm great. Just making some rice.
You: Which is nice, because rice doesn't judge me. And it doesn't make my palette do anything it doesn't want to.
You: You know what I mean?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: no forcing people what to do
Stranger: and it like it the way it is
You: You get me.
You: Like television, for example. Television forces me into a corner.
You: It judges me. It makes me feel like my life is boring.
You: Like those people in the shows, they do more in an hour than I do in six months!
You: It's absurd. I know it's not realistic, but it makes me feel awful all the same.
You: Like for example, what have you done today since you've woken up?
Stranger: brushed my teeth take shower have breakfast, go outside, have launch, talk to people and do some work
You: I KNOW, right?
Stranger: thats my typical day
You: It feels like nothing, doesn't it?
Stranger: yes
You: And what did you talk to the people about? Bet it was nothing heavy or interesting.
Stranger: boring no excitement
You: Am I right?
Stranger: so true
Stranger: yes
You: They don't make TV shows about people like us.
You: We're not of this world.
You: Lost at sea, you and me.
You: People like us need to stay together.
You: We're all we've got.
You: You know, man?
You: You know what I mean?
Stranger: how old are you?
Stranger: i know what u mean but if you watch tv, it would take your mind away from it
You: I beg your pardon?
You: If I watch TV, it only makes me more depressed.
Stranger: i listen to music
You: Oh, that's even worse.
Stranger: i am lost in music
Stranger: i go along fine
You: All those love songs and ganster odysseys. As if I didn't feel blank and empty already...
Stranger: find a girl friend
You: I wish the foundation of media in this society wasn't hell bent on making me live up to something I'm not...
You: Not everyone is made for girl friends, but those people aren't welcome.
Stranger: seriously how old are you?
You: We're cast out.
You: We're pushed to the curb and considered broken and flawed.
You: We're not normal, they say.
You: Well we'll show them, won't we!
You: HeyÉ
You: ?
Stranger: i don't want to hear this crap
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The only reasonable end game there would have been me getting him to pay for my therapy. There's always next time.

 

[MizisAwesome]

 

[Phoenix]

 

[Phoenix]

Clearly this guy is a Miz fan

 

[FromTheSouth]

 

[gd]

Why'd you post that one?

 

[FromTheSouth]

Really?

If you don't get it, reread it.

 

[CH David]

Lol, I didn't know that TNA could win the Monday Night Raws.

 

[gd]

O, I get it. He said "the Abyss" instead of "the MONSTER Abyss" or simply "Abyss." What a moron. sarcasm

 

[FromTheSouth]

I didn't post the replies, but there was one that said HHH is a much better wrestler than AJ Styles. I almost reached through the computer to choke the guy. I can do that.

 

[Scotty]

I didn't post the replies, but there was one that said HHH is a much better wrestler than AJ Styles. I almost reached through the computer to choke the guy. I can do that.

Remind me not to piss you off.

 

[FromTheSouth]

You shouldn't need to be reminded.

 

[Scotty]

Yessah yessah. Just please don't hit me again!

 

[TheOneBigWill]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: Hello
You: Have you been saved yet?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Apparently they have not. I'll continue. (Omegle isn't as fun as the webcam site, but it may involve humor yet.)

 

[Platypus Palsy]

I suck at this, my best:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: HI IM 12 LOL
You: LULZ
Stranger: LOLOLOL
You: OMGZ I RAEP YOU DEN
You: LULULULUL
Stranger: LET'S HAEV BUTT SECKS!
You: AWESOME
You: GET OVAH HAR
Stranger: WUR R U?
You: HAR
You: WUR R U
Stranger: IM OVA HAR DOOOOOD
Stranger: OAR DOODET
You: I R A DOG
You: LULZ
Stranger: I IZ A LULCATZ LUUUUUUUUL
You: OHKAY
You: BAI LADY

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: NO!

You: We're in trouble Julie.

You: They found the body!

You: Sonny dug up the Sandbox!

Stranger: hey hey, calm down man!

You: They know we killed that Norwegian Translator!

You: JULIE, they break girls like me in prison!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

No one wants to play.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: yoyo!

You: Hello. I'm one of the Omegle Administrators. We are currently taking surveys to better our site, would you be interested in answering a few questions?

Stranger: Sure...you're really an administrator? I didn't know those existed.

Stranger: Hello?

You: Excellent. Yes, we do indeed exist. ha ha ha So, before we begin things I do need to inform you, this conversation will be recorded for private use for the future benefit of the Chat service we offer here.

Stranger: Mmkay.

You: Wonderful. May I start by asking your name?

Stranger: I'm sorry but I don't give away that kind of personal information on here.

Stranger: And for all I know you're not really an administrator

You: Acceptable. And that is perfectly okay, my name is Alexander.

You: For purpose sake, I do like to make a more personal type of connection with our users. So, is there a name you would be okay with being called? Or would you prefer me to just skip calling you anything?

Stranger: Uh, you can call me Jesse.

You: Great. Its nice to meet you, Jesse. Okay, first question. What is the main reason you have come to our site?

Stranger: I'm bored and I like talking to new people on here.

You: I see, excellent. And what is the general topic of discussion you normally par-take in?

Stranger: I like to talk about Alice in Wonderland.

Stranger: XD You know, I have a feeling you just do this to prank people, and see how many people will disconnect with you.

Stranger: If so, you can just tell me.

You: ha ha ha. Jesse, if you wish to discontinue this survey, you may do so at any time. Unfortunately I get that very response a lot. Sometimes it can be rather unfullfilling.

You: There is no reasonable way I can explain to you that this is a legit survey that I am taking.

You: That is, ironically, another situation we are looking into on our chat forum.

Stranger: Really? If this is such a huge site, and surveying is important, it seems that you guys would've figured a better way of doing it.

Stranger: So that people will know you're an administrator.

You: We like to get a person-to-person, hands on, type of feel with our surveys.

You: We are currently investigating how many people actually are truthful on our Chat forum, and how many people just come online to joke around with actual individuals looking to have a meaningful chat.

You: May I continue with my questions?

Stranger: Huh. Sure, sure.

You: How often do you come into contact with people who don't seem to be on our site to simply talk?

Stranger: Can you rephrase that?

You: Sorry. The question isn't the easiest to understand. Basically, its asking; How many individuals do you come in contact with, who only seem to want other things than conversation?

Stranger: Oh. A lot. At least half or more.

You: Thank you. Yes, there does seem to be a great number of individuals who only come here looking for alternatives. Moving along..

You: Do you often give out your sex, or age?

Stranger: I'd say 90% of people ask for it, but I either refuse, or give a fake simply because I don't feel comfortable giving out the real one (not with sex, but with age).

You: Very good, and a wise choice. There are a lot of fakes on this site, it seems.

You: You mentioned earlier, Jesse, that you enjoy discussing Alice in Wonderland. What is typically the most asked about topic, that you are confronted with? (What do others want to discuss with you, most often?)

Stranger: Haha, sex, horniness. Which is annoying..people should take advantage of this site to meet new people..There's no need for that kind of thing..

You: That is very disturbing, unfortunately. There are a lot of disturbing and disgusting people in this world.

Stranger: I'm guessing people who ask for things like that are usually people who aren't really getting any..So they turn to the Internet to solve that. xD I agree.

Stranger: Or not necessarily disturbing, it's kind of just the way humans are sometimes.

Stranger: But it gets to a point where it is kind of disgusting, unless you like that kind of thing.

You: Ha ha, yes that is quite possibly the reason. I would be inclined to believe it could be mental, as well.

You: If Omegle went forward with installing a webcam feature, would you enjoy that and use it? Or feel awkward, and more uncomfortable that you are giving away more of your personal information?

Stranger: I don't have a webcam, so it wouldn't affect me either way.

You: I see. Thank you. So, on average you have said you enjoy meeting new people on our Chat site. Have you gotten to know any one off our site, in a more natural forum? Such as through messaging services, or even more in-depth, like real life?

You: Jesse, are you still there?

You: Thank you for your time. The following information will be forwarded to our Corp. HQ, and updated into our Information Center.

S/He didn't let me get far enough in to truly fuck with him/her.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Greatest fucking one yet. Be sure to understand, I'm typing in the third person, using the word "You:" to start each new sentence.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: HI

You: were a little uncertain for what was about to happen.
Stranger: why wat happened

Stranger: ?

Stranger: ????????????

You: seemed slightly disturbed by the 'strangers' interest in your life.

You: weren't sure if you could confide your personal events in such an unknown individual.

Stranger: everyone is stranger to the other before knowing him or her

Stranger: isnt it

Stranger: ?

You: wanted to open up, and give someone a chance, but its just too hard, too soon, to trust.. .. again.

Stranger: ya u r correct at ur part

You: were slightly intrigued as to whether you were talking to a male, or a female.

Stranger: dis is u who will tel dat

You: suddenly didn't understand a word your partner was saying. It was as if they completely went stupid on you.

Stranger: ??????

You: felt a little scared.

Stranger: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Stranger: life is nt to feel scared of

You: were completely unsure if you should go ahead and put your pants back on, or take your chances on what may lie ahead.

You: didn't know what to feel, what to think, what to say.

Stranger: u shud take on chances and go ahead .....................

You: suddenly felt shivers run up your body, as the cold air from the fan brushed against your naked skin.

Stranger: no one knows wen life gives u a good chancer

Stranger: chance

Stranger: ???/

You: wondered if the individual you were speaking with, would ever learn how to properly speak English.

Stranger: so m nt speaking eng properly

Stranger: is dat u wanna say

You: suddenly had very bad thoughts about hurting this 'stranger'. Would anyone care?

You: didn't think so

You: weren't 100% sure.

You: just sat patiently, waiting for them to make the first move.

You: thought "Maybe they'll say yes, maybe it won't be considered rape."

You: began the process to trace the 'strangers' IP address, and locate them.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[pyrusane]

I'm not very good at this I think...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hello
You: this is an odd place
You: so many strange people you meet here
Stranger: yea
You: they don't understand...things
Stranger: what things?
You: you understand things, right?
Stranger: what things? what do you have in your mind?
You: just...things...like...how its fun to meet new people
Stranger: yea
You: to start conversations about stuff
You: strangers don't judge you
Stranger: yes
Stranger: of course
You: strangers don't think its odd when you want to do things...they don't think you're crazy
Stranger:
You: wait...you're not crazy are you?
Stranger: well, actually, i am crazy. sometimes
You: very cool
Stranger:
You: so...do you like cats?
Stranger: cats? not really, i prefer dogs
Stranger: what about u?
You: i've found that dogs are harder to control
Stranger: well, maybe
You: with a cat...once you have them tied up, they are easier to control...maybe i should tried a smaller dog though...
You: but cats are softer
Stranger: well, sometimes. i prefer big dogs. cause im scared of small dogs

At the end I wasn't sure who was fucking with who...

 

[Sparky]

It's seen my Penis apparently.

me
Can you keep a secret?
CB
Yes.
Me
I think I may have a std, is my penis supposed to be grey with pink dots?
CB
Yes, I think so too. But let's move on.
Me
how would you know if i have a std, i didn't sleep with you did I?
CB
Because I saw it with my EYES.
Me
you saw my penis?
CB
Yes, and they were ugly and smelly.



....

 

[pyrusane]

Cleverbot is kind of a smartass...and why do you guys keeps introducing us to these sites that are a complete waste of hours and hours of our time? And hours. And...gah...

User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: I am very sad right now.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: I really am. My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago.

Cleverbot: Well, there are plenty of girls out there. If you are lonely, try finding someone else to be your girlfriend.

User: How do I do that?

Cleverbot: As you will discover with time.

User: Do you know any good girls for me?

Cleverbot: Virtual or real?

User: Either.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot ?

User: No, but I smell like robots.

Cleverbot: I don't like maths though.

User: Ok, where can I find a good real girl?

Cleverbot: On Evony.

User: What is Evony?

Cleverbot: A game.

User: What kind of game?

Cleverbot: The game.

User: Are there girls there?

Cleverbot: Where?

User: On Evony.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Do you think girls will like me?

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

User: This is the same subject.

Cleverbot: Music and climate change are different subjects.

User: You are kind of stupid aren't you?

Cleverbot: What is the purpose of Cleverbot?

User: To answer my questions.

Cleverbot: Quite!

User: So where can I go to find a new girlfriend?

Cleverbot: Yes, she did. Her name is tammy and she lives in a remote village in germany, or is it german town?. .

User: Who is Tammy?

Cleverbot: No one!

User: Will she lick my strudel?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Tammy.

Cleverbot: I don't want anybody to die.

User: Neither do I.

Cleverbot: You will grow tired of me. And I with you.

User: I already have.

Cleverbot: Prove it then.

User: Goodbye you worthless AI.

Cleverbot: Fine!!!!