The 'I Hate E-Love' Club

[Downward Spiral]

Well, the criteria for this club is that:

You've never talked to a member of the opposite sex over the internet and talked about sexual things with intent to somehow arouse them.

You've never used the term 'love' when talking about someone on the internet.

You are disgusted when reading the majority of Bar Room threads on WZ Forums.

...

And more basic criterion.

I shotgun being the first member.

Christ. Surely some people prefer their flirting to occur in the flesh?

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Why do you hate me?

 

[C.M.]

I call Vice president of this club

 

[Moon Knight]

After her I am never doing the whole online thing again.

 

[Downward Spiral]

Just so people know, we do offer rehab courses here at the club.

Repent your sins people...you will be forgiven.

But if you ever go back to your sick old days...well...you will be cursed...a curse that prevents you from ever being loved or loving again.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Just so people know, we do offer rehab courses here at the club.

Repent your sins people...you will be forgiven.

But if you ever go back to your sick old days...well...you will be cursed...a curse that prevents you from ever being loved or loving again.

Rehab courses eh.. hmmmm.. what do I have to do?

 

[Moon Knight]

Rehab courses eh.. hmmmm.. what do I have to do?

Chop your dingy off.

 

[Downward Spiral]

Rehab courses eh.. hmmmm.. what do I have to do?

I'm no professor, but if you get this image in your mind, then you will never even let the thought of e-love cross your mind again...

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

Please Will...repeat that after me...

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Chop your dingy off.

Okay, when drunks go to rehab they just have to quit drinking. I'm pretty sure my dingy isn't getting lobbed off because I liked a girl on the net.

I could deal with not being on the net AS much. I could even stand cutting back on the sexual flirting.. but the dingy is staying with the thingy.

 

[Moon Knight]

Okay, when drunks go to rehab they just have to quit drinking. I'm pretty sure my dingy isn't getting lobbed off because I liked a girl on the net.

I could deal with not being on the net AS much. I could even stand cutting back on the sexual flirting.. but the dingy is staying with the thingy.

I know people on ebay who will pay good money for one of those!

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I'm no professor, but if you get this image in your mind, then you will never even let the thought of e-love cross your mind again...

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

Please Will...repeat that after me...

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

'All WZ posters are obese, bald, 60 year old men.'

Spiral, you know my weakness. I'm secretly hot for Roddy Piper.

 

[Downward Spiral]

For anyone else having their sinful senses tingled by a certain member of the opposite sex over here, just think about a girl you know in real life, and how you should really be working on your relationship/attempting to build a relationship with her. If all this thinking fails, talk to someone about her. Err...Will might be a good start.

That really shows the pointlessness of e-love then.

Also, realise that you will never, ever meet someone over the internet in real life. Makes the advent of 'in-the-flesh' people really enticing, doesn't it?

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I know people on ebay who will pay good money for one of those!

I still use it. When it becomes useless, I'll sell it. Until then, I think its a man-law that I keep it.

 

[Downward Spiral]

Spiral, you know my weakness. I'm secretly hot for Roddy Piper.

Okay, change of phrase then...

'You could be talking to someone who looks like Hacksaw.'

 

[TheOneBigWill]

For anyone else having their sinful senses tingled by a certain member of the opposite sex over here, just think about a girl you know in real life, and how you should really be working on your relationship/attempting to build a relationship with her. If all this thinking fails, talk to someone about her. Err...Will might be a good start.

That really shows the pointlessness of e-love then.

Also, realise that you will never, ever meet someone over the internet in real life. Makes the advent of 'in-the-flesh' people really enticing, doesn't it?

Okay, but.. what if you actually have met someone from the internet, in real life? Or 5 of them??

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Okay, change of phrase then...

'You could be talking to someone who looks like Hacksaw.'

I think thats pretty much how I got involved with the darkside in the first place.


HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Downward Spiral]

Okay, but.. what if you actually have met someone from the internet, in real life? Or 5 of them??

Well, I should have rephrased it to: you will never, ever, etc, meet someone you e-love in real life.

Dare I ask how/why you met 5 people off the internet? Please don't torment my fragile mind with a very blunt, disturbing story.

 

[Downward Spiral]

I think thats pretty much how I got involved with the darkside in the first place.


HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can see we have some work to do with this subject.

You are to us, like Homer was to the Movementarians for a while...

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Well, I should have rephrased it to: you will never, ever, etc, meet someone you e-love in real life.

Is that because if you met them in person, it wouldn't be e-love any longer. It would possibly be real love??

Dare I ask how/why you met 5 people off the internet? Please don't torment my fragile mind with a very blunt, disturbing story.

1. Sara = Best friend. (To this day, she is one of my very best friends and it all started through the net. I see her a lot.)

2. Bridgette = Stalked me in real life, then found me on the net. (I met her through the net first, but "knew" her from real life - long story)

3. Jessica = Friend's ex. After they broke up, she hung around me for a little bit trying to get back with him. (I was helping her, by listening)

4. Candi = Randomly met on the net. She went to college in a nearby town, we became great friends and ended up going out all the time to movies. Never dated, but our relationship was "different" to say the least.

5. Desiree = The only true love case as far as the internet is concerned. Long story short, if you wanna know this subject.. you have to find the time to hear it.

As sad as it might sound.. I'm pretty sure I'm missing a couple. Including one girl who I was going to meet, that stood me up.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Please don't torment my fragile mind with a very blunt, disturbing story.

Whoops. Skip that last post.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I can see we have some work to do with this subject.

You are to us, like Homer was to the Movementarians for a while...

Beer & Fishing? Well why didn't you say so in the first place?!

Outta my way assjack!

 

[Downward Spiral]

Beer & Fishing? Well why didn't you say so in the first place?!

Outta my way assjack!

Okay Will...there's no way you can resist powerful mind-controlling method the top anti-e-love scientists have been developing for years...

Repeat after me, saying or singing this to the batman theme song...:

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no to e-love!...no, no, no, no, no, no, no to e-love!...e-love! no, no! e-love!"

 

[Father:_Polley]

For anyone else having their sinful senses tingled by a certain member of the opposite sex over here, just think about a girl you know in real life, and how you should really be working on your relationship/attempting to build a relationship with her. If all this thinking fails, talk to someone about her. Err...Will might be a good start.

That really shows the pointlessness of e-love then.

Also, realise that you will never, ever meet someone over the internet in real life. Makes the advent of 'in-the-flesh' people really enticing, doesn't it?

Technically if I really really wanted to I could meet Becca next week when I'm in Leeds. However, given I'm meeting a girl I'm talking to over the internet already it may not be a wise move (and Spiral, before you sign me up for rehab classes, I'm engaged to the girl).

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Okay Will...there's no way you can resist powerful mind-controlling method the top anti-e-love scientists have been developing for years...

Repeat after me, saying or singing this to the batman theme song...:

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no to e-love!...no, no, no, no, no, no, no to e-love!...e-love! no, no! e-love!"

BATMAN! eerrrr, E-LOVE!

 

[Downward Spiral]

Technically if I really really wanted to I could meet Becca next week when I'm in Leeds. However, given I'm meeting a girl I'm talking to over the internet already it may not be a wise move (and Spiral, before you sign me up for rehab classes, I'm engaged to the girl).

The simple thought of this is what needs to go if you're going to be cured, Mr Polley.

Think of the fiancee...think of the fiancee..."Becca" is someone that could be anyone...think of the fiancee.

I'll leave you to ponder on that. I'm not sure if I should sign you up or not yet. But, steer clear of any sexual innuendo when talking to this "Becca". It can be confusing as to what constitutes e-love. So, when in doubt, move on out...of the thread.