"That's so Gay."

[Slyfox696]

But c'mon Fox, "inducing hatred and violence" from saying "That's Gay"? Isn't that kind of a stretch buddy?

I'm not saying a homosexual man will begin swinging punches, but it's all part of the attitude which is cultivated. When you make "gay" and "bad" synonymous, then people grow up thinking homosexuals are "bad". And that then leads to the hate crimes against homosexuals, of which this country has seen many.

"Mental and Psychological unease" how fragile are these people?

You know as well as I do that "coming out of the closet" is a big deal for a lot of homosexuals. In fact, many try to pretend they're not gay, and get married, have kids, etc. But the discomfiture they feel is no less because they try to pretend they are straight, and to hear people tell them how bad of a person they must be for being gay is not easy.

I'm more concerned with THAT. If you're so fragile and sensitive maybe you've got some other issues to deal with and your "mental and psychological unease" has little to nothing to do with anyone else, it's you.

Would you say that to a fat girl who turned anorexic because people kept picking on her for being fat? Would you tell this girl the only reason it bothered her people made fun of her for being fat is because it's her own fault?

That's essentially what you're saying to gay people right now. You're saying a homosexual who feels uncomfortable because the people around him are talking about kicking some ******'s ass is only uncomfortable because they have a problem. It's not because the people around them are threatening physical violence, it's the homosexual's problem.

Here on WZ or in your class, those are different scenarios and I agree that you're well within your right in both cases to say "this is acceptable, this is not acceptable" there have to be rules and boundaries. I am by no means suggesting either, that you should throw any words around as freely as you want, in any situation, with total disregard for others. However, isn't it kind of bullshit the way people have to walk around on egg shells worrying who you're going to offend in every walk of life?

Again, it's just a matter of respect. If you're with your friends who you know don't care if you call them a ******, then so be it. But if your speech and/or writing can be delivered to people you don't know and might not be comfortable with it, then you should be polite and not make another person uncomfortable.

I know what you're saying, and many times I agree. But even though we agree, it doesn't change the fact many people are uncomfortable with those words, and many people who are uncomfortable have legitimate reasons for being so.

Isn't this kind of an infringement on people outside of that demographic's freedom of expression, which is held in such high regard by the very group of people who are saying "You can't say that because I don't like it"?

No more than when you put a gun in someone's face and tell them you want to shoot them. Freedom of expression is not absolute, never has been and never will be.

I certainly can't tell a gay man not to act so effeminate because it's offensive to me

Oh, I disagree completely. You are as much within your rights to tell a gay man to quit being flamboyant as you are to tell a teenage couple who just discovered "making out" to quit kissing.

That doesn't make you prejudiced at all, not in my book. But if you would tell that effeminate gay man to "quit acting like a ******", then that would be crossing the line.

How is using the word, that the homosexual community recognizes themselves as suddenly a slur when some else uses it in a way they don't like? Is it simply because they don't like it? Anything they don't like is immediately a slur at that point? it's immediately hateful and homophobic?

No, it's not that simple. For example, when the NAACP gets pissed because I say LeBron James is a black man, I'll tell the NAACP to kiss my ass. In this case, just because the NAACP doesn't like, doesn't mean what they say should be adhered to. But when I use a word which indicates prejudice, like if I called LeBron James a ******, then the NAACP would be right in getting pissed.

It's the same with saying something is gay. When someone says "that's gay", they are usually doing it in a demeaning way, which suggests that gay is synonymous with bad. This makes it a prejudiced term, because you are saying that being gay is equal to being bad.

So it's not that gay community say it's bad which means you shouldn't use it, it's what the term implies. ****** implies that black people are dirty, contemptible, inferior, etc. and that's just simply not true, which is why it's a prejudiced term. "That's gay" implies that being gay and being bad are the same thing, which is also not true. This is why those terms should not be used.

I'm just saying, they identify themselves as gay, so is this a "n" word thing? It's "their word" now and people have ownership of words and their uses?

No, and that idea is completely bullshit. Gay people should have no more right to say "that's gay" in a bad reference than black people do to call one another a "******". Either the word is bad or it's not, you don't get it both ways. If it's bad, then NO ONE should use it.

That's a fair point. On the flip side of the coin, is it necessary to be so uptight about that either?

When people are being killed because of their homosexuality, then I would say yes. We don't need to continue teaching future generations that being gay is bad. Even if you think homosexuality is wrong, it's not something which should be used to put down another group of people, for no better reason than you simply can't think of another way to express disappointment.

I myself generally say "Oh, well that's weak" in the same fashion people would say "Oh, well that's gay". So at some point am I going to offend someone who is not physically strong?

Weak is not a generally recognized classification of people. Also, MOST people who are not physically strong can improve that. People who are homosexual can't exactly turn themselves straight, no matter how much many of them wish they could.

 

[Calderownz]

Yeah, homosexuals are just persecuted at every turn, denied their human rights and right to marry, stereotyped, and made fun of without people batting an eye, but if anyone says anything that even could be construed as slightly derogatory towards black people, you're automatically a racist.

This is SUCH bullshit. Black people aren't the only oppressed group in history. Native Americans were forced onto reservations, people from Vietnam were stereotyped and insulted back during the Vietnam War days, and nowadays gay people are oppressed and stereotyped on television, in movies, and in real life.

You're blind to think that gays aren't being granted equal rights and that the flagrant misuse of the word "gay" to mean "bad" isn't offensive.

I didn't really say it was or wasn't offensive. What I said is that it shouldn't be considered anything. You have to look at this one of two ways.

Either it's very difficult for homosexuals out there or it's not too bad, could be much better. In either situation, I don't see why this would be so high on the list of priorities. If it's so bad, fight the injustice and get the wrongs right. I'm all for that. However, this would not be anywhere near the most important thing. It's so minimal in comparison that's it's virtually not important at all.

I didn't say that black people are the only oppressed group, either. But to compare the plight of people who were whipped on a regular basis and ripped from their homeland to be raped and used as farm equipment to that of homosexuals is not fair to either group. I'm not going to comment on Native Americans or anything as I've already answered that I realize other groups have been oppressed. No one was insinuated otherwise.

I grew up on an Indian Reservation. I know plenty about their plight.

Truthfully, I don't know what you're going on about black people for. The example isn't even a good one with the whole ******/gay situation, so I think you got a bit off course here.

 

[Miko]

We've got people in this thread justifying the term ****** and then getting all hot and bothered about ****** and gay. ******, queer, poof, ******, spic, sand-******, paki, coon, wog, gay, dont matter what term you use, at least the people implied can stick up for themselves, unlike ******s and spastics.

Me? I dont care, I just live by the principle that it's all fine or none of it is. ****** isnt really acceptable either is it?

 

[Kermit]

That video was gay.

No, but seriously why does it matter? I don't believe in gay marriage, nor do i think people are born gay, but that's just my belief. I'm not going to force anyone to believe the way i do; everyone has a choice. I'll be nice to gay people, and treat them as a human being, but i have a right to use the idioms that i use. "That's so gay," or "that's so ******ed;" anyone who takes offense when these things are used in a friendly context is stupid. I'll defend them if someone disses them directly, but other then that, people need to chill.

 

[SavageTaker]

I can see why people think others are being oversensitive when it comes to things like referring to something as gay. But honestly, you've never walked a thousand miles in a gay man's shoes so you don't know and will never know how it feels. So to say gay people are being oversensitive is just insulting and disrespectful.

As someone who is gay, I think I can provide an opinion from a different perspective. No, I'm not saying my opinion is better or anything like that just because I'm gay, but I do think I can get people to see things in a different way. Anyways, when someone around me says something is gay, it really does offend me but in all honesty, I don't stand up and correct the person. That is partly because I don't want to start an argument in the middle of class and because I don't want to get made fun of for speaking my mind. And yes, getting made fun of for expressing your opinion does unfortunately happen in today's schools.

So yes, referring to something as gay just because it's bad does offend me and that's because I feel like in a way I'm being compared to that object. Being gay is not a bad thing and I think it's something that cannot be controlled. It's better to be somewhat politically correct than using the wrong terms to refer to things, making yourself look like a jackass and to avoid offending millions of people in the process.

I'll be perfectly honest. I use the term. In the same manner. And even around homosexuals. So far, I've yet to see them get offended and even they jokingly reply with stuff like "Yes. Yes it is". Or crazier stuff like "you're missing out". It doesn't bother me and it doesn't bother them. You may call it a derogatory phrase but over here we call it slang. Of course, I don't mean to take away from the argument that it offends people, I'm just saying that in my case it doesn't.

Like I said earlier in my post, some people such as myself prefer to just let it slide to avoid arguments or getting made fun of. So I'm not saying that's the case with your friends, but it's a possibility. Maybe they do feel hurt, disrespected, e.t.c. in the inside but they just go with the flow so they avoid things like that or they may have different reasons. Either ways, using "that's gay" to refer to something as bad is still not ok to do.

In all honesty, and I'm not trying to single you out here Killjoy, but I don't see why people even have to use the word gay, why the hell can't they just say something is bad by using the word bad?

 

[Calderownz]

In all honesty, and I'm not trying to single you out here Killjoy, but I don't see why people even have to use the word gay, why the hell can't they just say something is bad by using the word bad?

Before I comment on this portion of your post, let me clarify that I don't use "gay" as a negative. I don't use it in conversation unless I'm talking about someone that's gay or something that involves homosexuality, for example.

I'm also not being a dick. However, I think people use terms like that out of laziness. While I think that's a bad thing, it's perfectly normal. People have done that for ages. It's what linguists call "attractive additions to speech" or something along those lines.

While the attractiveness of this particular idiom is really dependent upon the people involved in said conversation, it makes logical sense in terms of how we communicate. Not trying to overstate the obvious, but people dress up their language all the time. You know?

 

[SavageTaker]

Before I comment on this portion of your post, let me clarify that I don't use "gay" as a negative. I don't use it in conversation unless I'm talking about someone that's gay or something that involves homosexuality, for example.

Then I have absolutely no problem because you're using the word in the correct way. The people I have a problem with are those who don't think before they speak and will use the word to describe something as bad.

I'm also not being a dick. However, I think people use terms like that out of laziness. While I think that's a bad thing, it's perfectly normal. People have done that for ages. It's what linguists call "attractive additions to speech" or something along those lines.

I understand where you're coming from and completely agree. People use slang words and other words out of laziness. But any way you look at it, being lazy does not make it ok for people to use it in a derogative manner.

While the attractiveness of this particular idiom is really dependent upon the people involved in said conversation, it makes logical sense in terms of how we communicate. Not trying to overstate the obvious, but people dress up their language all the time. You know?

Yes, I do know, but like I said it still doesn't make it ok. If someone wants to refer or describe something as bad, then they should just use the word bad or any other synonym for it.

 

[Calderownz]

I understand where you're coming from and completely agree. People use slang words and other words out of laziness. But any way you look at it, being lazy does not make it ok for people to use it in a derogative manner.

It might not make it right, in a certain sense. However, I'm not the man to argue what's right or wrong. It's not my decision. What I would say is that you have to look at the context. If it's meant to hurt gay people, then it's a bad thing. Otherwise, I'd suggest everyone -- including homosexuals -- pick their battles. Getting worked up over language isn't going to help anything.

Yes, I do know, but like I said it still doesn't make it ok. If someone wants to refer or describe something as bad, then they should just use the word bad or any other synonym for it.

I would suggest they do the same, if they would ask for my advice. But I'm not in favor of telling people how to talk. I'll make suggestions, like I do when telling people that they should calm down with overreacting to language. But, this simply isn't a battle worth fighting, in my opinion. Gay people have far bigger issues to deal with.

"...Words can never hurt me." This line actually applies only to people that don't allow themselves to let words affect them. Words only have the power you give them.

All I'm trying to say is that people need to pick their battles better. Arguing about the usage of a word isn't one I'd pick.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I can understand why those who are gay would take offence to the phrase. It has obviously originated with the belief homosexuals are 'bad'. However, I don't think that means everyone who uses the term is homophobic. Words get thrown around so much, especially in high schools, that they lose their original meaning in many cases. '******' - previously a term of disrespect, to say the least, is now used between many black people as terms of respect and friendship. Some gay people actually use the word 'gay' in the negative setting without a problem. It all depends on how you look at this, you can be upset and offended, and you have a right to be, but you can also realise that the meaning of the word has changed for most who use it and now it's just another piece of slang. Meaning whenever it is used by a person, they likely are not thinking 'Homosexuals are the worst things ever'.

I'm completely for gay rights, gay marriage, and anti-discrimination, and I understand the need to ban this word from places like these forums, but I think people shouldn't get too upset about the use of the word, especially as there are so many bigger issues.

 

[SSJPhenom]

My self personally, being a proud bisexual, don't care when people use the word gay in that way.

Don't get me wrong. I would never use gay in that way as I know plenty of people that are offended when it's said in that way. I even know of a friend of mine who is only out to me because all of his other friends say things like, "This is fucking gay," or "That's so gay." He's afraid to tell any of them that he is gay because he's afraid of how they might feel towards him. I can certainly see why people would be offended with the use of the word in that way.

Some people don't care about the N word anymore, however, being half black, that's the one word that will set me off.

I can definitely see why the use of the word in the correct way is so important.

 

[ITurnGirlsGay]

I think, as with everything, context is key. Understanding the individual is also something I consider. I truly believe that people wear hate, much like their hearts, on their sleeves. It's fairly easy for me to tell if a person is a bigot.

I won't lie, I use all of the aforementioned terms on almost a weekly basis, but I'm also somewhat of a black comic. That being said, I also surround myself with a "variety of spices."

In graduate school, one of my best friends and study partners is gay. There's rarely a time when I don't say something to him that the majority of people would find extremely offensive.

For example; leading up to the Super Bowl I made a comment about the Packers on my Facebook. My gay friend, Daniel, commented with something to the effect of:

"Hey, my dad's favorite team is the Packers"

Without missing a beat, I responded with:

"Go figure, a gay man's dad's favorite team is the 'Packers'"

He immediately "liked" the comment and put "well played" underneath it.

This is probably one of our more mild exchanges on Facebook. Before people say "well, he's gay and if he's okay with it, then that's acceptable," keep in mind that while, yes, he is gay and he's okay with it, not everyone on my Facebook is aware that he's gay when I make comments like this to him. They might not read every exchange he and I have which would indicate, by his responses, that he is, indeed, gay.

Many of my fraternity brothers are of various different ethnic and sexual backgrounds, that does not stop us from bringing race and sexuality in to our conversations. (By conversations, I mean insult wars).

Context is key. I am the worlds most supportive person of rights for everyone. I have gone with many a friend to various different town-hall meetings and rallies that support their beliefs. Even if I stood out like a sore thumb. I don't wear hate on my sleeve.

Much like my friends who are okay with me using racial slurs and homophobic slurs toward them, I refuse to let bigots have the power over those words.

Within my group of friends, absolutely nothing is sacred. To top it all off, most of us are Ph.D.'s, J.D.'s, M.A.'s or on our way to one of those three.

We realize, in the academic and logical sense, that intent behind terms of derision is more powerful than the word itself. Intent is usually pretty clear. You can almost always tell if someone is a; bigot, idiot, just doesn't know any better, or being satirical.

This might not be applicable for everyone, but it works for us. Our stable, if you will, of friends is probably one of the more diverse groups of people that anyone could run in to and we just refuse to allow bigots to ruin what are, otherwise, perfectly funny jokes to us.

 

[Big Ol' Buckta AIDS]

The word Gay has had multiple uses. Unless homosexuals are trying to keep the word as a way of indentifiying themselves, I say we let it run it's course.

 

[Decarow]

In my opinion, the use of the word "gay" in that context is just ignorant.

Gay has two meanings- Homosexual or happy.

When somebody is saying "that's so gay", they are really meaning "that's lame" or "that's not cool".

Whatever your views on homosexuality, you have to remember these are people too. I don't agree with it, but I accept their lifestyle as long as they don't hit on me.

I actually work with a gay dude. We had a guy come in and ask about the game True Crime. I told him that it was cancelled and he said "damn, that's gay". It was a little awkward for me because I didn't know how my co-worker would react. After the customer left he told me he was used to it. So it probably isn't as big a deal as we're making it out to be.

 

[LigerBomb]

Ferfook'ssake, pages of this? Now that's gay. Or should I say queer?

So, you know what word means homosexual? Homosexual. You know what words don't? 'Queer' and 'Gay'; at least not all the time. When people say something is gay in a pejorative sense—as in, "not quite right", or different from what they would like to have happen, i.e. not the "normal and expected"—they really mean to use the word queer.

But that somehow got muddled up and confused over the years. Since both 'queer' and 'gay' have, over time, been appropriated by the homosexual community as self-identifying terms confusion now reigns supreme as to what is right (And by "right", I of course mean prescriptively correct rather than moral or just).

Anyway, people should stop calling something gay and start calling it queer. Following which, people who call themselves queer shouldn't take offense when others use the term in its correct and intended form; either that, or stop identifying with words that can have such potentially negative connotations when misunderstood.

For ex: I like Punk Rock. People have called me a "Punk". Some because I'm a punk rock fan who has been know to wear punk band T-shirts, leather jackets and keep a mohawk/mane; others say it as in "you punk-ass bitch" (which, ironically for this discussion, has many etymological roots, one being as prison slang for someone who takes it in the ass, homosexual or not).

Now since I've been known to self-identify as a "punk" I only get hostile when the latter meaning is used; OR when it is used to discredit or insult the group of us punk rock fans as a community. I understand that there are multiple ways to use and understand the term.

Knee-jerk (over)reactions are best saved for the overly emotional and/or unintelligent. Oh, and if you're upset because you think I just called "the gays" overly emotional and/or unintelligent you've completely missed the point of this entire post and possibly have no sense of irony.

 

[xStraightedgesoldierX]

well gay means plenty of things and most people in the gay community even say thats so gay
its like calling someone jewish we're not serious we're kidding and most of the ppl knw that
but yeah we should change the way we talk cause its just not right

 

[lionyates]

I always find it amusing when people say to me as if they're insulting me, obviously they use it in the context of "you're so stupid/******ed", but I take as the "why yes I am gay, thank you for pointing that out way". Plus, I look on the fact that most of them think a prime form of entertainment is binge drinking till they puke, piss on the floor, and pass out in a recycling pile.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Culture can make things sound ok when they really aren't. Shows such as Beavis and Butthead made it seem normal to call something "gay" instead of simply saying it was stupid or dumb. It went from being cool to being normal everyday language. Regardless, it's still a prejudiced remark that offends peoples' lifestyle choices. It's not ok to keep using the term, even though it feels ok because we are so used to it. I'm guilty of it myself, still using that word instead of stupid or dumb. All we can do is tone down the useage as best we can, then others will see our example and do it too. Eventually that could eliminate the word in the long run. Will it happen though? Probably not, at least not in our lifetime due to how our society loves to be offensive at the expense of others.

 

[SomeAreSet]

I don't know.Gay isn't an offensive term to me.I don't expect a homosexual to be offended if I called him or her gay.Gay just isn't the same as calling someone a ******.The word gay is just used to describe a person's sexuality.You're straight or gay.There's no point in being offended by the word.

Personally,I don't really say "That's so gay" to describe something I don't like.I just say "Ugh" or "Gross" "Disgusting" "Lame" or whatever word or sound that pops into my mind.Quite the contrary.In fact,I like to say "That's so gay" when describing something that I think is cool or awesome.

Anyway,I can understand why homosexuals would be offended with the phrase.Saying "That's so gay" when talking about something the person doesn't like indicates that there's something wrong with being gay.I do feel sorry for the homosexuals who get persecuted for their beliefs,but at the same time,they can just get over it,you know?It's a phrase that's not intended to cause hatred against homosexuals,so why get your panties in a bunch over it?

 

[Sinister Shadows]

I'm personally against pretty much all that is "politically correct" I'm of the firm belief that someone saying something cannot hurt you unless you allow it. why take offense to something someone said unless it get's to you.. but why let their words get to you?

If words get to someone then apparently aren't comfortable in who they are, and if it's something that truly can't be changed, if someone uses language that you don't like, is it someone you really want to be around?

I've personally said things to that people has taken offense too, un-apologetically. I don't go out of my way to say things to people that they may find offensive either though.

Pretty much it's just that today's society is too uptight about what people say, because really, words can only get to people if they allow them too.