Some (Almost Wholly False) Experiences Of A WZ Moderator

[Cena's Little Helper]

Chapter 1: I'm Drunk...Do You Want A Mod Spot?​

And so my story as a moderator begins. A long time ago (sometime in November 2009), while MSNing with Becker and Marquis, I received a PM from then-WZ Administrator IrishCanadian25. Here's a paraphrased version of the PM:

So, I just got back from a Liquid Courage gig and the fiancee has locked me out of the bedroom. I told her AIS [ass in seat] T-minus 10 minutes, but it's looking like she believes the rules don't apply to her. I can't blame her though; D-Man's Eddie Money impersonation makes her swoon (the combination of this with 10 doubles of Jameson gives me a raging boner too, but that's a story for another time).

Anyway, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight with the cat and I'm as pissed as any drunk man could be. All other members of staff think you're a huge cunt, as do I, but I really need to vent my frustrations. So, how do you feel about taking over Movies & Television? Let me know soon or else I'm going to offer the spot to Milenko.

After I informed a slightly pissed Becker that I'd be taking the spot, IC added me as moderator of the Movies and Television section. That he could do so in such a drunken stupor still amazes me to this day. He truly is the greatest WZer ever.

Stay tuned for chapter 2...

 

[a0161613]

Milenko in charge of that section would have been hilarious, no doubt in my mind it would have ended up like pre-Lee WZCW.

I would love to have seen the whole thing.

 

[INDYjon22]

 

[Dave]

Haha! That last line of the PM makes me LOL every single time I read it.

 

[Uncle Phatso]

Damn T thats some good story telling you got there.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Tdigle 1. Sam 0.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Chapter 2: The Only Paid Moderator In WZ's History
​

Yeah, us staff members have occasionally joked about actually getting paid to do what we do, but it's actually true in my case. During his tenure as administrator, IC had a standing order to pay 25 dollars a month to my Paypal account. Before I begin this story with, of course, another PM from our illustrious former administrator, I'd like to let IC know one thing: I would've done the job for free...you only paid me because PMs don't do justice to vocal inflection. Anyway, story time:

PM from IC:

Hey asshole,

I know your MO in Movies & Television is to talk about how much Tarantino sucks and how the greatest films ever made are the ones that are made by starving artist rent boys on a $5000 budget. However, I have no interest whatsoever in making threads for the Sitcom Tourny so you're going to do all of them, and you're going to like it. If my command isn't enough incentive, the WZ Judiciary Committee has met (the members are me, myself, and I) and has agreed to compensate you with $15 a month and a promise not to come down there and make you poop your pants while I suffocate you with my 19.5" pythons. You better reply to this within the next 20 minutes or I'm sending an ass-beating down to Northern Virginia via express delivery.

Although I read this message about a minute after it arrived, it took my trembling fingers 18 minutes to reply with the following:

$15 a month?!

Not knowing that I was genuinely shocked to even be offered payment for my moderating services, IC responded with the following PM:

All right, all right...the WZ Judiciary Committee has reconvened. We have agreed to give you $25 a month, a promise to not kick your ass, and my sister's telephone number. We won't budge any further. Give me your details later and start working on the Sitcoms Tourny ASAP. I'm jonesing to back Married With Children!

It goes without saying that I started on the Sitcoms Tournament as soon as I was through with this PM. I later PMed IC my details, and he kept to his word; not only did I receive $25 a month for the next seven months, I also got his sister's phone number. If you're wondering about IC's sister, I did end up calling her, but what transpired would bring my young WZ moderating career to the brink of destruction. What ultimately saved it was the combination of Luther_Hull, IndyJon22, D-Man, and a cucumber.

Stay tuned for more...

 

[Uncle Phatso]

I believe you

 

[Sully]

You know..I'll be honest. This seems more like a Dave sorta thread..the way your comedy is going...I mean it's still funny..but I feel like I'm reading a Dave post.

I'm also gonna go out on a limb here..and bear with me now..bear with me...but I think you're exaggerating...just a tiny bit.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

Lol, he said dave then he said bear

 

[The Man They Call WMD]

This Threads Great

 

[ABMorales787]

Milenko? Damn, he really was drunk.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

I green repped tdingle praising him for actually getting paid to be a mod on WZ.

Then I remembered this story is almost totally false.....

 

[a0161613]

I also remembered this being false after I contemplated the idea of IC and tdigs being related somehow.

 

[INDYjon22]

Good times.

 

[Dave]

You know..I'll be honest. This seems more like a Dave sorta thread..the way your comedy is going...I mean it's still funny..but I feel like I'm reading a Dave post.

I'm also gonna go out on a limb here..and bear with me now..bear with me...but I think you're exaggerating...just a tiny bit.

Wait! What?

Tdigle is waaaaay funnier than I am. Way more interesting too.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The Canadian told me he'd ban me if I ever made a joke about his sister. What sort of leverage do you hold over him? Is it the fact that he can't ban you?

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

This Threads Great

Thanks, sonny. If I can make one person laugh, then it's all worth it, even if it is my alt .

 

[NSL]

After I informed a slightly pissed Becker that I'd be taking the spot, IC added me as moderator of the Movies and Television section.

Slightly pissed?? Didn't he whine to EVERYONE that he deserved a damn mod spot, and he was being treated unfairly, because they kept passing over him? I remember at one time, he said it wa because I was a mod.

 

[klunderbunker]

The money thing is true for some members of staff. Sly and I actually do make some money because we've gotten traffic up. It's not much but it started at the beginning of the year.