Sheamus - Let's Tally the Amount of Fucks You Give

[Uncle Sam]

You know Sheamus, right? You know - Sheamus! Sheamus. He won the Royal Rumble. No, nothing? Big guy, redhead. Nope? Paler than a polar bear on a snowy day. Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, I'm a scientist. I wear a white coat, latex gloves, and often get covered in other people's blood, so I can only assume that's what I am. In the interest of science - and this is right up there with penicillin - I want to tally the amount of fucks people give about Sheamus. Yes, that is the scientific term; fucks.

My hypothesis is that very few fucks will be given. Let's begin, like any good scientist, with anecdotal (and, frankly, fictional) evidence:

You see, fella, I was watching Raw, fella, with my uncle. Fella. My uncle's name is John Jameson Liam Neeson O'Flannagan - he's a proud Irishman. We're watching Raw - him having found time between drinking Guinness, growing potatoes, and making disastrous economic decisions to watch some quality television with his favourite nephew. Sheamus comes on out and, in a thrilling turn of events, puts Daniel Bryan back into the ring. That rivalry's really heating up, what with all the putting each other back into rings. So I turn to my uncle, and I says, I says, "Uncle, how many fucks, exactly, do you give about Sheamus?" My uncle turns to me and says, he says, "O, Sam, my blue-eyed, broad-shouldered, twelve-inch-penised, strapping nephew! What a grand question, so it is! You want to know how many fucks I give about Sheamus, do ya?" So, what does your man say? Well, your man says, "No fucks. No fucks at all. He's shit."

Oh, that incredible Irish wit.

Then I asked Pancake:

What is really lacking in Sheamus is just a little depth in his character. He's been a champion before as a heel and he had some serious heel shit going on. His face run is pretty much been running through anyone that gets in his way.

I'd chalk up one fuck, but I'm not sure that post merits it.

They're really going to have to step things up with Sheamus to get me excited about the prospect of him as world champion, which I assume is the goal. His matches aren't poor, but they're hardly something I like forward to - at least not on the level I might anticipate, say, a Rey Mysterio, CM Punk or Randy Orton match. His promos consist of Irish folklore and anecdotes about his uncle's farting dog (which I guess also qualifies as Irish folklore) which never fail to make the crowd go mild. For some reason, they've given him a new finisher, which is about as exciting to behold as Jim Ross taking a seat. When he's not giving long-winded speeches about flatulent animals, he does seem to get quite a good response, except when he was easily outpopped at the Elimination Chamber by Santino.

I'm sure there must be some fucks out there being given. Help a brother out.

 

[JamJam]

Count one fuck given about Sheamus from JAM.

Sheamus could easily be the guy to carry Smackdown into the future alongside Cody Rhodes and maybe a move back to SD from Ziggler. He could be the Edge of this new generation. While I don't blame those that don't give a fuck about Sheamus right now, I think that he'll be a major player soon enough. I'm really mixed about him being in a World Title match with D-Bryan at Wrestlemania, but I'm guessing that he'll take the title and continue his face run to establish him more. Just my hypothesis Prof. Sam.

Plus, dont'cha love his Irish folklore? Really? No? Gotta meet his uncle then, lulz.

 

[Matth3w]

Is zero a number? Maybe if I pluck a number out with a 'minus' symbol in front of it?

The guy, along with Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan, bores me to death. A complete 'channel changer'. His ring work is boring, his mic work is just as bad as he has zero charisma. I can't for the life of me think how he gets ridiculous pops every time he shows up.

 

[Dmbfantomas]

Sheamus is interesting to me, because it seems like the more success he gains...the fewer fucks he gives. When he was middle of the card in the summer, and began doing the 10 hits between the ropes, there was passion behind those hits. They were all loud and left welts. Now, there's nothing really to them. They're way weaker, he doesn't have a menacing look on his face, and he looks like he just doesn't care anymore.

I give as many fucks as he does right now, zero.

 

[Rampage Bentley]

I've give a whole big bag of fucks.

I seem to be the only one though... I called Sheamus winning the rumble back in November, so it wasn't that big of a shock to me when he did... plus Jericho really didn't need it.

Ever since his face turn, Sheamus has been pretty much an alabaster Batista, which is something I can get behind. I'm looking forward to his match with Daniel Bryan (not as much as Punk/Jericho, Rock/Cena, or Trips/Taker) but if given the time, I think the two could put on a hell of a match.

 

[Shotaro]

Sheamus is a great talent and will go on to be a staple of the main event in WWE. He's different he's entertaining and he once slapped himself so hard on the chest he left a red hand shaped mark.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

I've got a few fucks to give. I didn't like his face turn. He was a good heel. It was hard to see him as a face. He has grown on me though. Sometimes he will Hulk up and start no selling when his temper gets the best of him(he got DQed a few weeks back for it) but usually he puts on good matches and his mic work, while not the best, is different. I just wish he didn't dye his hair. Ginger looking bastard. Moot point though

 

[mkman613]

i think you all are nuts. I give him a shit load of fucks.

His face turn has been underwhelming to no fault of his own --- they havent put him in any substantial feud. how is he supposed to be interesting without a feud.

Now they finally give him one and after a week and a half you say its boring and its stupid --- if you think this is actually how a wrestlemania storyline is going to play out, you are wildly mistaken.

te guy carries himself like a superstar outside the ring and inside the ring. his character has changed over time and his move-set has evolved as well. dont be so hard on the guy when he is booked poorly and give him a chance for the feud to pick up.

these two have the potential to put on a one hell of a match an WM28.

 

[PunkIsGod]

He has the in ring skills, the mic skills, the look, the moveset, the entrance music.....
Future hall of famer, in my opinion, and way better as a babyface than as a heel. Re-open this post in 5 years and will see tha amount of fucks he´ll receive.

 

[drobs85]

You know Sheamus, right? You know - Sheamus! Sheamus. He won the Royal Rumble. No, nothing? Big guy, redhead. Nope? Paler than a polar bear on a snowy day. Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, I'm a scientist. I wear a white coat, latex gloves, and often get covered in other people's blood, so I can only assume that's what I am. In the interest of science - and this is right up there with penicillin - I want to tally the amount of fucks people give about Sheamus. Yes, that is the scientific term; fucks.

My hypothesis is that very few fucks will be given. Let's begin, like any good scientist, with anecdotal (and, frankly, fictional) evidence:

You see, fella, I was watching Raw, fella, with my uncle. Fella. My uncle's name is John Jameson Liam Neeson O'Flannagan - he's a proud Irishman. We're watching Raw - him having found time between drinking Guinness, growing potatoes, and making disastrous economic decisions to watch some quality television with his favourite nephew. Sheamus comes on out and, in a thrilling turn of events, puts Daniel Bryan back into the ring. That rivalry's really heating up, what with all the putting each other back into rings. So I turn to my uncle, and I says, I says, "Uncle, how many fucks, exactly, do you give about Sheamus?" My uncle turns to me and says, he says, "O, Sam, my blue-eyed, broad-shouldered, twelve-inch-penised, strapping nephew! What a grand question, so it is! You want to know how many fucks I give about Sheamus, do ya?" So, what does your man say? Well, your man says, "No fucks. No fucks at all. He's shit."

Oh, that incredible Irish wit.

Then I asked Pancake:



I'd chalk up one fuck, but I'm not sure that post merits it.

They're really going to have to step things up with Sheamus to get me excited about the prospect of him as world champion, which I assume is the goal. His matches aren't poor, but they're hardly something I like forward to - at least not on the level I might anticipate, say, a Rey Mysterio, CM Punk or Randy Orton match. His promos consist of Irish folklore and anecdotes about his uncle's farting dog (which I guess also qualifies as Irish folklore) which never fail to make the crowd go mild. For some reason, they've given him a new finisher, which is about as exciting to behold as Jim Ross taking a seat. When he's not giving long-winded speeches about flatulent animals, he does seem to get quite a good response, except when he was easily outpopped at the Elimination Chamber by Santino.

I'm sure there must be some fucks out there being given. Help a brother out.

Very unique thread, very creative props. But on to the question, I don't give any Fucks about Sheamus. He to me has been extremely cheesy as a face. I enjoyed him much more as a heel. And yes his Irish story are really dumb and forgettable. And speaking of finishers why does he keep stealing everyone's? First it's the Razor's Edge, now it's Fit Finley's move. Damn be original. But either give this guy some meaning and an actual feud or ship him down the line. He's become incredibly stale fast!

 

[satchmokilnt]

Count me in as another member of the couldnt give a fuck crew.

Ever since the start of his moronic great white moniker and the just plain daft face turn, ive found myself bored to death with the grinning leprechaun chaser. every time he pulls off the brogue kick, he's got a stupid grin so wide on his grid that i expect him to break into a riverdance in celebration. it was of no shock to me that he's been labelled as cousin of hornswoggle and a muppet. he's basically a giant hybrid of the two nowadays. I'm more offended by the horrible character assassination of sheamus to be honest. it makes me laugh that they cant even get it right with triple h's boy! i think that's quite scary to be honest. the fact they cant even get the spelling of SEAMUS correct is a bad starting point. and whilst we are it, the wonderful caveat of his new move - the irish curse. he's irish. finlay was irish(actually northern irish. but hey, its not as if anyone's ever cared enough to start conflict over such things!) so in the Wonderful World of Entertainment, thats reason enough to use finlays finisher for sheamus. the thought process of wwe really makes my head hurt. im sure youve heard a saying involving 100 monkeys on 100 typewriters. i believe that's a fair assessment of what goes down at titan towers.

I used to enjoy the fella, and thought he was quite funny on the mic when kept to a minimum. giving him more time to witter on about farting dogs and be even more of an irish stereotype, just makes me see that he really doesnt have much to him. his whole usp is basically his skin colour, hair type and the fact he's triple beige's gym buddy. an ally in triple h is as good as being vince's best boy. the fact that sheamus (despite the world titles and push) is abit of a joke, even with that alliance is scary quite frankly. just imagine where he would be without that!

I know his fans may well get butthurt over my opinion. and say how im wrong because he's beating everyone, and he's future world champ. i agree on those two points. but the fact that he's got the monster push going for him, and many just couldnt give a fuck says a whole lot.

 

[justinsayne]

I love Sheamus, I would say he's probably in my top 5 right current wrestlers. The problem is despite having him win the RR, & putting him in a ME at WM, WWE doesn't really seem to being doing to much with him, or letting him really shine since he's turned face. Let him pick up a mic & speak, stick him in some matches that are with opponents that have achieved a status above "Jobber-for-life", do something with the man for fuck sake it's the only way people are going to know or care about his existence.

 

[Vintage]

Fuck it. I didn't really before I read this thread but it made me realize I give half a fuck about Seamus. He actually has personality and he stands out from a crowd. You gotta give the man credit for that. He's not half bad in the ring either.

 

[MizFit Brocko]

#TeamNotASingleFuckGiven

I change the channel every time he's on. I just don't care about what he has to say each week, and I just don't find him interesting at all.

It also shits me, and adds to the little fucks I give, that the main reason he is where he is is because of Trips.

And getting places due to who you know, rather than how good you are fucks me right off.

Now, Sheamus isn't bad, in the ring or on the mic, but you can't tell me he'd have been WWE Champ (twice?), and have won a rumble if he wasn't bum buddies with HHH. Not yet anyways.

So in conclusion, no fucks at all are given about the 'Great White'.

 

[D-Man]

I'm with Sam on this one. It's like they took the entire lifeline out of his character the ay that he powerbombed Sin Cara onto that ladder and turned babyface. It reminds me of guys like MVP and Kane... once they turned from top heel to babyface their careers went down quicker than the Titanic.

In all honesty, the ONLY things I've cared for since Sheamus turned babyface are the Irish "stories" that he tells in his promos at times. Some of the stories are so fake and cheesy but they bring a smile to my face. Besides that, Sheamus does not look even the least bit dominant right now. Remember, this is one of the only heels in the past five years or so who stayed tough and never acted cowardly and ran away from a fight. Regardless of who heel-Sheamus was facing, he always gave us big talk, interfered in matches, dominated his opponents, and really made us believe that he was a legitimate threat.

The amount of misuse wasted on Sheamus since his Royal Rumble win really boggles my mind. It's very disappointing that two Royal Rumble winners in a row are floundering immediately after they've won the biggest and most important gimmick match of the year. I mean, name ONE thing of importance that Sheamus has done since winning the Rumble?

Go ahead... I'm waiting...

Exactly. He's done NOTHING. And I can pretty much guarantee that he's going to walk out of Wrestlemania with the world title. Then what?? Groundwork has to start being laid out in order for people like myself to even give a shit about his upcoming title match. Not to mention the fact that even more groundwork has to be laid out in order for me to give a fuck that he's going to carry that belt.

All in all, Sheamus is on a severe downslope.

 

[Miz_Mark]

I give ample fucks. I too called a Sheamus Rumble win several months back. Now, unfortunately my original thought isn't going through because of the injuries to Mark Henry, but my hope was for Henry to keep the belt till Mania and have Sheamus challenge him in an irresistable force vs immovable object angle. But I'll still take him as challenger sans Henry. Then again, I'd take just about anyone as challenger if it means getting the belt off DB.

 

[D-Man]

And speaking of finishers why does he keep stealing everyone's? First it's the Razor's Edge, now it's Fit Finley's move. Damn be original. But either give this guy some meaning and an actual feud or ship him down the line. He's become incredibly stale fast!

Posts like this trouble me. You guys act like wrestlers who have used someone else's finisher in the past isn't being original or won't get over. Such a stupid, thoughtless complaint.

Ever heard of a guy named Randy Orton? Well, he has a move called the "RKO" that's been used by guys like Diamond Dallas Page and even Bubby Ray Dudley during his singles run with the WWE. But I guess that means Orton isn't original, right? Especially after he's taken that same move, put an original spin on it, and now it's one of the most effective and anticipated finishing maneuvers in all of professional wrestling.

The problems with Sheamus stretch far beyond his choice of finishing maneuvers. Using that excuse is just a cop out.

 

[AwesomeRko]

I give zero fucks, I completely agree with everything you said since his face turn his character has not developed at all. He hasn't been in an interesting fued in ages, unless you count wrestling Jinder Mahal like 5 weeks in a row on Smackdown interesting. There seems to be no energy getting put into his fued with Bryan, I think he's just one of these people who is a natural heel so turning face seems to have hurt him. On a side-note his no-selling in the ring also infuriates me.

I think he will win at mania so maybe after that as WHC we will see his character develop a little into something we can actually emotionally invest in.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

I give a fuck but he may have to by me dinner first. I thoroughly enjoyed Raw this week but the one wrestling highlight that sticks out in my mind was Sheamus' Brough (sp?) Kick on Henry. It may have been more about how well Henry took it but it looked awesome.

Sheamus has been cool as a face or heel. Out of the ring he has a good mixture of character, comfort, looks and charisma. In the ring he is a good mix of power, adrenaline and momentarily lapses of reasoning. He is one of the guys I have a hard time predicting his wins and losses. I like that unpredictability.

 

[AndThat'sTheBottomLine]

I give a bag of fucks. He's got the look he's hilarious on the mic. He's also pretty good in the ring. Oh and to the guy that complained about him using someone elses move, how about James Storm? The Last Call is a rip off of Shawn's sweet chin music. I'm not complaining though I enjoy it. But yes a bag of fucks given for Sheamus.

 

[Cats Pajamas]

Big time fan of Sheamus. What was the last match of his I saw...? Miz/Sheamus on Smackdown, that's it... that was an awful match, though...

Anywho-doodly-doodle, I think the timing of this thread will bring out some of the Sheamus critics. You have those who are going to dislike his character only because he turned face, which is fine. You get the normal, cheesy pro-wrestler quality acting from him; he says nice things and doesn't cheat but it's hard to enjoy his character. Someone said "no depth"... I'll agree with that since his face turn.

His matches have energy and a hint of barbarism the likes of Batista or Ultimate Warrior, even somewhat the pace of your typical Stone Cold beatdown match as of late. His match with the Miz was disappointing, I'll admit that, but both of them came up short. He should have stopped that between the ropes clubbing at the one count...

I really don't mind his feud with Bryan right now. Less is more with Sheamus promos in the buildup to Mania. Bryan has done well to play the coward who's been avoiding these oversized contenders by trying to leave and Sheamus has made it backfire on him. At Mania, D-Bry is going to need to man up and go toe to toe with Sheamus and prove he's the better wrestler. Falls count anywhere, please?

Give it some time, and I think he'll start appealing to his naysayers. I anticipate the prospect of Barrett vs Sheamus sometime in the near future. Right now he looks like he's bullying the smallest kid in class.

As usual though, it was a helluva good time reading your post, Sam. Thanks.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

I definitely give a fuck about Sheamus. I'm one of the few that supported the guy right from the beginning of his monster push a few years back because, to me at least, it was plain to see that he had what it took to be a major player and an interesting one.

I think Sheamus is better on the mic as a heel than as a face, but the fact of the matter is that Sheamus is very over whether he's a heel or a face. I enjoyed Sheamus' feuds against John Cena, Randy Orton & John Morrison while over on Raw. I'm glad to see that they've gotten back on track with Sheamus on SD! and he's had some great matches against Orton, Christian, Wade Barrett and a few others since being on the blue brand. I agree that Sheamus doesn't have a ton of depth as a face but why does he need a ton of depth? He's a big, charismatic Irish lug who loves to fight and has a great physical style in the ring. Judging by the consistent response he gets whenever he comes out to the ring and during his matches, it seems the majority of the fans would agree that, sometimes, less is more.

 

[ThinkinSmart]

Can I give half a Fuck? Maybe a quarter? Sheamus to me is some one who will one day be a huge asset to the WWE weather its heel or face. But theres just nothing to him now. WWE seems intent on pushing this guy to the moon with no development in his character to get any one to give any Fucks. When he first became champion I just didn't think it worked, plain and simple. I just didn't care about him at all and by association I found my self not caring about the title. Than he lost the title and won king of the ring and WWE though giving him a silly looking crown would add some depth but he was just the same exact guy doing the same exact thing with a silly crown on his head. How hes face and I feel like WWE dusted off the original push and thought "enough time has passed he has to be ready now", but hes not. There are a lot of guys who have grown substantially in 2011. Before 2011 I didn't give any fucks about Wade Barrett, I didn't give any fucks about Cody Rhodes, and I especially didn't give any fucks about Mark Henry. Now those three are at the top of their game so far and its because each ones character has some depth and they get most of my fucks for the smackdown brand. Sheamus is still just that irish guy who looks like he likes to fight which is cool...I guess..but if he leaves Wrestlemania as champion I'll find my self solely interested in what Bryan is doing next and completely uninterested in the World Heavy Weight Championship.

 

[Peoples_Champ]

On a scale of fucks, from 1-10, I would give pre-Rumble Sheamus 4 fucks, post-Rumble Sheamus 6.5 fucks and I anticipate I will be giving post-Wrestlemania Sheamus 7.5 fucks.

Let's be honest, WM will be Sheamus' coronation in the WWE's effort to create a new main eventer. He'll be given the title for a few months, probably feud with Randy Orton around Summerslam and give up the title near Survivor Series, depending on how well he gets over. I've gotten onto the Sheamus bandwagon slightly - other than the depth of character issue, he seems like a wrestler I can get behind (strong moveset, great look, quality finisher, believable champ).

The WWE Universe seems to have many fucks for Sheamus, but I bet they would be more behind him if he were to tag with / save Cena.

 

[dman1373]

I give about 2 out of 5 fucks. Well he was good(notice how i say good) as a heel, but as a face he is pretty boring. He is doing nothing to help his fued with bryan, and while all the other big fueds are building up steam, this one is losing it. I understand why he won the royal rumble, becaues he was the third most over face on smackdown(behind orton and big show.) But he is just not doing anything besides saying arse and throwing daniel bryan back into the ring for his oponnents. I think that this is just a way for d bryan to get a fued under his belt, so he can build steam, to d bryan vs randy orton in the coming future. I cant see shaemus winning.