SEWF - Stupidity Ensues Wrestling Federation

[The Crock]

[YOUTUBE]MK6TXMsvgQg[/YOUTUBE]

SEWF​

Crock: Welcome to SEWF, folks. This is our debut show, and if my assumptions are correct... our very last show. Let's make it one heck of a farewell show, huh?

Crock: We're sponsored by TNA:

Total Nonstop Action!

Our first match is coming up after the jump, Doc vs Ferbian II!! This time will be special though, there will be a... stipulation.

 

[The Crock]

Match #1
Doc vs Ferbian
Virginity on a Pole Match

Crock: Well, here we go! Hell of a match we're gonna have here. This is one of the greatest... err... feuds of all time. Here comes Doc!

[YOUTUBE]OI-LFxf9oB0[/YOUTUBE]​

Doc struts down to the ring in a Scott Pilgrim t-shirt and a pair of firetruck pajamas. His mom is following him down the aisle with a bib in her hand.

Crock: Well, this will certainly be an interesting match. I've never witnessed a "Virginity on a Pole Match", but I guess we'll see what happens.

[YOUTUBE]29-VNOlN-UA[/YOUTUBE]​

Crock: Here comes our resident Dane, Ferboner FERBIAN!

Ferbs struts down to the ring, extremely confidently.

Crock: Ok, so the object of the match is to take that box, labeled Virginity, off the pole. I don't really know why or how... but somebody will win. I think.

The match gets started, Ferbian takes control right away. They now seem to be talking in the corner, not really doing much wrestling.

Crock: Now, what in the name of... WHAT IS THIS?! This isn't a match, this is pathetic!

The crowd is chanting "POP HIS CHERRY, clap clap clapclapclap."

Doc seems to be getting irritated now, you can clearly hear him yelling, "HE HAD NO RIGHT TO CLOSE MY THREAD!!! THAT WAS A GREAT THREAD!!"

Crock: Maybe this will lead to some action? Probably not... Hold on, who's that?!

Here come two masked figures... they absolutely beat down Ferbs and Doc with stiff loaves of French Bread and get out of the ring.

Crock: Well... that match was just plain... terrible. Oh look at that, now the masked men are posing. Great!

Crock: Let's hope the next match isn't this much of a suckfest.

Crock: I don't know what match is coming next, we're not quite organized. I promise it won't suck that bad... I hope. Why didn't I just take Russo's offer and work for TNA?

 

[Muffin Top Merkley]

*YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!

 

[Super Hans]

Good, at least we've got the curtain jerkers out of the road.

 

[Dave]

Woop! Woop!

 

[Барбоса]

Hans has SEWF World Title Contender written all over him

 

[.]

Awesome.

 

[The Crock]

The rest of the show will be up ASAP. I'm having Internet issues in my building.

 

[Rhonda Rousey's Sports Bra]

Halloween Havoc all over again.

 

[The Crock]

You have no idea. Just wait until you see the rest

 

[Rhonda Rousey's Sports Bra]

If I don't win something I riot!

 

[The Crock]

Internet is getting better. I'll try to have the show done in about 2-3 hours. There's a WHC Tourney with 8 men, you might win...

 

[The Crock]

Promo #1
Blue Cardinal

Crock: Here comes Blue, his Titantron seems to be working fine, but no music. Hopefully, we can get that sorted out. Don't bet on it.

Blue runs to the ring at full speed, grabs a mic, and starts his rant... Err... Promo.

Blue: I plan on winning the SEWF World Heavyweight Championship tonight. Nobody will get in my way. No virgin, no moderator, NOBODY will stop me.

Blue pulls out a gun and shoots into the backstage area.

Blue: I challenge TPP to a shootout. Whoever survives advances to the next round of the Championship Tourney.

Some random woman, carrying a sandwich in one hand, whispers something to Blue.

Blue: Hahahahahahaha. I have the win locked up.

Takes a bite of the sandwich, walks away.

 

[I Suck Ass]

I want in this. Me and Mozz vs. Luther in a handicap match.

 

[The Crock]

I want in this. Me and Mozz vs. Luther in a handicap match.

If you want in go to the other thread! Holy shit, people are spamming this thread up.

 

[.]

Dude make this like a WCW matc and have the main event be a gimmick match with te title ending with "of death".

 

[Dave]

If I don't make Armbar submit, I riot.

 

[Via Armbar]

GTFO Dave.

 

[The Crock]

Match #2
Noah vs Milenko vs Jose vs Madness
Fatal Fourway - WHC Tourney

[YOUTUBE]yMpsttlXye8[/YOUTUBE]​

Crock: That must be Noah. Oh wouldn't know ya know it.

Out comes Noah, being followed to the ring by his manager J-Dogg.

Crock: Here comes Milenko, Juggalos don't get entrance music.

Milenko walks down to the ring, looking as stupid as ever.

Crock: Hey Milenko, your rep is all red bars now. (Some people won't get that joke.) Haha

[YOUTUBE]KXnz-64n4t4[/YOUTUBE]​

Crock: Here's the obvious favorite in this match. (Take a clue, he'll win.) JOSE!

Jose trots to the ring, sombrero on his head, taco in one hand.

[YOUTUBE]wxp3zqIqO68[/YOUTUBE]
​

Crock: Here comes Sound of Madness. He doesn't seem to understand what people say, he's an idiot.

The match starts. Immediately Noah gets kicked out of the match because his parents thought the match was too suggestive. Sound of Madness falls asleep on the outside of the ring. Looks like a one on one match now. Jose takes some Sazon Goya and throws it into Milenko's eyes.

Crock: This is what I like to see. A Juggalo rolling around on the floor, crying.

Jose proceeds to take a dead corpse from under the ring, Katie Vick.... I think. He then, for no reason at all, puts her back under the ring and covers Milenko for the 3 Count.

Crock: What a match! Jose advances to the next round.

 

[Dave]

The only reason I said it was because I saw you lurking.

 

[The Doctor]

[YOUTUBE]OI-LFxf9oB0[/YOUTUBE]​

Doc struts down to the ring in a Scott Pilgrim t-shirt and a pair of firetruck pajamas. His mom is following him down the aisle with a bib in her hand.

fucking amazing

 

[The Crock]

Match #3
Blue Cardinal vs The People's Peep
Shootout

Crock: I'm really looking forward to this match. Blue is a homicidal, genocidal, homicidal, genocidal maniac. TPP on the other hand... Well... Yeah.

[YT]O_PwTGK4iwc[/YT]​

Crock: Well here comes Blue, and who is that he's dragging... HOLY SHIT IT'S TPP! It's a bloodied TPP. What the hell is the meaning of this?!

Blue saunters down to the ring, dragging poor TPP behind him. Blue grabs a mic.

Blue: I don't think that... Abiding by the rules is very fun. I'm better than you all, or so I think, and I love being a cunt. So, now, I'm going to end TPP.

Blue takes the gun... Shoots TPP. He starts walking away when TPP gets him in a roll up pin!

Crock: This isn't that kind of a match! What is TPP doing?!

The ref signals for a DQ!

Crock: Blue advances to the next round by DQ. What a disgusting display by TPP... HE ACTUALLY WENT FOR THE PIN!!

 

[Hyorinmaru]

Racism against Juggalos ITT. Am I gonna have to sic Johhny Cochran on you Crock?

 

[The Crock]

Match #4
Dave vs Armbar
Custody of Fedor Emelianenko Match

[YOUTUBE]vHj0etrp4hY[/YOUTUBE]​

Crock: Here comes the man the myth the legend, DAVE!

Dave walks to the ring in a kilt. That's all I got.

[YOUTUBE]9L4Zx-zYd8c[/YOUTUBE]​

Crock: Here comes Armbar! I've been waiting for this match for a while now.

The match starts. Armbar, dressed in full MMA gear, rocks Dave with a right hand. Dave falls to the ground, Armbar jumps right in... but it was a trap. Dave makes Armbar tap out... via armbar.

Crock: Dave has custody of Fedor!

 

[Dave]

Owned!