Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Uncle Sam]

1. The Fighter
2. Black Swan
3. Hanna
4. Source Code
5. The King's Speech
6. Rango
7. 127 Hours
8. Thor
9. 13 Assassins
10. True Grit

Alright, I have ten. Now I only have to think about a hugely elaborate suicide plan and we can get this over with.

Hanna - good. Eric Bana FU's a guy to death. At least, it sort of resembled an FU. I was massively disappointed that it wasn't preceded by him miming pumping up his Italian loathers. Some skinhead. Consider your attitude adjusted, bigot!

Thor above True Grit? You wound me, Samuel.

True Grit tenth; mandatory 'controversial' pick. Really, it's just harmed by how it's such an inferior western to No Country For Old Men.

I thought the black person in True Grit played his role to perfection. Kind of like Inglorious Basterds.

Black people are great, aren't they?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Oh yeah - I was having some not very good fish and chips in a park and a squirrel started climbing on my shoe. I flicked him away but he kept coming back, the little fucker. The Japanese tourists giving them all sorts of shit; that's who I blame! Remarkable.

 

[Nate DaMac]

Wow. I've never had a Squirrel come within 10 feet of me.

 

[Uncle Sam]

They're preparing for their power play, I'm sure of it. Oh yeah, I forgot - he hid in the bin I was about to throw the fish and chips into. So fucking crafty.

 

[JGlass]

City squirrels are a different breed of squirrel all together. Suburban squirrels are timid, usually causing most of their damage by throwing acorns at cars. City squirrels don't give a fuck who or what you are, they will attempt to freak you out in order to accomplish their mission, which is almost always food based, but sometimes I think they just want to mess with girls who find them terrifying.

You're probably wondering how a squirrel can freak someone out. Same way as a mouse does I suppose, except squirrels are about 5 times larger.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Surprisingly heavy, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed the fucker crawling over my shoe.

 

[Tastycles]

Sam, the guy who sleeps in my living room said Bromley was a shit hole. This coming from a man who calls a sofabed his home, albeit very temporarily. I'd like to get your thoughts on that.

 

[Lee]

Was it a grey bastard?

 

[Tastycles]

Oh, if it's squirrel anecdotes your after I have one. I was sitting in my mate's kitchen once (Which was in the basement) and a squirrel came in through the tiny window, went over to the bin, ate a few things and left. Utterly bizarre.

 

[Lee]

I saw a red one get run over the other day

 

[Tastycles]

I don't think I've ever seen a red one.

 

[Lee]

There's a few Northumberland way but not many. The parks in newcastle have a few.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Sam, the guy who sleeps in my living room said Bromley was a shit hole. This coming from a man who calls a sofabed his home, albeit very temporarily. I'd like to get your thoughts on that.

As someone so heavily associated with Bromley that I have a mate called "Bromley Rob", I'm utterly disgusted. Though, as someone who's extremely fickle, I won't give a fuck in an hour. I mean, it went through a rough patch a couple of years back with a sudden influx of chavs but it petered out in the end. Other than the fact that all mentions of H. G. Wells have been purged WWE-style - even his badass mural - there really isn't much wrong with it. Still prefer Greenwich, mind.

However, as a man who's indeed slept on that very sofabed, I'm bound to agree with this man who I now call my brother.

I don't think I've ever seen a red one.

Nope, me neither. The grey's are more aggressive. Who knew?

 

[Tastycles]

A lot of people have slept on the sofabed over the years. In fact, I believe it's the only thing that links any of my friend groups. Apart from me, obviously. I have no friends who have such names, although I've worked with two of my mates' mates named either Bolton or Bradford Ben, I forget which, and Scouse.

As I type this I remember there was a guy at my school called Scouse too. He was from Stoke, and sounded like Phil "The Power" Taylor, but such was the poshness at my school that they couldn't distinguish that from Jamie Carragher, la.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. The Fighter
2. Black Swan
3. Attack the Block
4. Hanna
5. Source Code
6. The King's Speech
7. Rango
8. 127 Hours
9. Thor
10. 13 Assassins
11. True Grit

My friends were gracious enough to postpone our trip to QI (we get guaranteed seats next time) and we got to go to Stratford to see Attack the Block and the Q+A that followed. Make note that the cinema is just outside of the mecca of wrestling fans that is Tastycles' flat.

The movie was actually pretty damn good, especially if you like stuff like, I dunno, The Evil Dead. That sort of shit. Joe Cornish and the main cast turned up for the Q+A.

Before the movie started, one of the cast caught me staring at him. I was wondering if he was one of the cast, you see, or he was just a black guy and I was stereotyping. You know, that old chestnut - if you're black you must have played one of the leads in Attack the Block.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

As I type this I remember there was a guy at my school called Scouse too. He was from Stoke, and sounded like Phil "The Power" Taylor, but such was the poshness at my school that they couldn't distinguish that from Jamie Carragher, la.

I'm always asked if I'm Scouse or a Manc whenever I jump the Staffordshire border.

 

[Lee]

Insert *calm down calm down*

 

[Tastycles]

I'm always asked if I'm Scouse or a Manc whenever I jump the Staffordshire border.

I think the Stoke accent is really distinctive. My current flavour of the month is from Stoke, and she's a lesbian as well. Actually, she's from Newcastle-under-Lyme but there's no difference really, is there?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

None. Even I just bunch all the towns together under the "Stoke" banner.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Stoke City played a pretty big deal match yesterday yea? I seen it on ESPN while I was running a the gym, I thought to myself "Ah, Jake"

 

[Uncle Sam]

The FA Cup final. They lost 1-0. I was hopeful when I saw some forlorn looking Man City fans getting off the train. Turns out they're miserable bastards whatever the weather.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Jake, you ever seen the film "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" ??

If not, do whatever you need to do. I have a feeling you would highly enjoy it.

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

The FA Cup final. They lost 1-0. I was hopeful when I saw some forlorn looking Man City fans getting off the train. Turns out they're miserable bastards whatever the weather.

I think they're just under Sunderland as the loudest crowd in the Premier League.

They must count racial slurs at Balotelli as good ole fashion cheering.

Jake, you ever seen the film "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" ??

If not, do whatever you need to do. I have a feeling you would highly enjoy it.

This movie increased the sales of blow up dolls and skateboards at my local K-Mart 1500 percent.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

This movie increased the sales of blow up dolls and skateboards at my local K-Mart 1500 percent.

rocket launchers and killer pythons as well, I assume

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

Eh. In Australia, we go through about 4 shipping containers of those weekly even if we're watching The Breakfast Club.