Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[HBK-aholic]

 

[Mr. TM]

take a salt tablet

 

[Uncle Sam]

Maybe I should see a doctor about that. Then again, I am on the donor's register and I'd hate to deprive someone of a new heart. Even if it is a dark, shrivelled heart.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

An end to the intense burning pain I feel when I pee would be great, but it ain't gonna happen.

Hey man, its all good. As long as you had a DAMN good time contracting that

 

[Uncle Sam]

In other Sam news, I recently invested in a pair of pyjamas. Much as I like sleeping nude, it's always bothersome when I have to answer the door in a hurry and have no pants to hand. With pyjamas, I can preserve both my modesty and comfort. Highly recommended.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

What's wrong with answering the door naked?


and do THAT many people just come around unannounced knocking at your door? is that proper behaviour in England?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Sam, Primark do the best jim jams. The only problem is that the legs roll up at night and the waist falls down. Thus you can still see my penis.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I can only ever find mens pyjamas in Primark at Christmas. Now? None anywhere.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Do you think it could be because they're getting in all of their Summer stock in now?

 

[HBK-aholic]

Do you only wear pyjamas in Winter?

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Sleep in my boxers, regardless. If someone doesn't like the veiw, don't come kocking at the door, cunt.

 

[Tastycles]

My pyjamas have got a massive hole in them, to the point tht they are essentially crotchless. Fortunately, I live in a flat, so nobody ever cmes to my door.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Do you only wear pyjamas in Winter?

Most people only wear pyjamas with legs in winter, otherwise it's shorts or pants.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Sam, Primark do the best jim jams.

Way ahead of you.

Sleep in my boxers, regardless. If someone doesn't like the veiw, don't come kocking at the door, cunt.

My crotch seemed to distract the delivery men from my sparkling smile. Miserable *****. Don't give me that look - I'm probably the most courteous person you'll meet all day.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'll be angry if you've got the pink/blue/black paint splattered ones.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Nope.

Two bits of news:

I had some people over on Friday night and have been informed that someone attempted to burn my Pulp Fiction poster with a lighter. My bedside table and banister also have burn marks on them. Not to mention the paint job in my room has been damaged and I'm pretty sure someone's stolen my belt. Not fucking amused.

I just found out Miramax closed. I made a real life sad face.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

That's why I don't invite people round my house and Miramax have been gone for at least a month now.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I know - I don't really pay attention. They either didn't cover it in Empire or they didn't put it in big enough font.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

''I'm not a big ''lol'' person, never have been.
I don't feel the need to use a smiley to show people that I'm being sarcastic.
Adding a sarcatic similey to the end of your post doesn't work if you've completely misinterpreted what I said.
I don't need the reassurance that rep must bring you.
I don't care about your family troubles.
Your girlfriend is ugly, why would you care if she left you?
You think I can't sleep with somebody attractive because you are unable to sleep with somebody attractive.''

I started writing a rant on another forum, but then I had a power cut. Above is all I can remember, it just doesn't work now.

 

[X]

I've decided to begin waking up earlier in the morning for the sole purpose of being online at the same time as you Jake.

Your latest red rep hurt me, deeply. I thought you were a Caribbean Cool Carlito mark.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

You've got me for 20 minute, then I'm gone.

Carlito is shit.

 

[X]

He's certainly no Rob Terry.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

You don't don't know what to do with me now you've got me, do you?

 

[X]

No, not really. I miss our long talks of amputee pornography, I'm afraid you've grown too soft and docile in your old age. You can't keep up with my sexual thirst any longer.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I've always been docile and I'll never be soft.

Google Ree Petra and tell me what you think.