Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Uncle Sam]

Aye. I've been sitting at such an angle that my arse really hurts.

 

[Murfish]

Fuck you, Sam. Leaving me out of your list and shit.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Your name, it doesn't really make you stand out.

 

[Murfish]

My name doesn't stand out? It's one of the most original on the board, easily.

That said, my gimmick names tended to stand out more, cunt.

Do you want to know the real reason why I insult you, Sam?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Well, you may as well.

 

[Murfish]

Well if you're going to respond like that, I don't know if I want to say.

You are one of the few mods that told me to stop sassing them in the bar. True story, I didn't realize that you were a mod at the time.

 

[gd]

Do you want to know the real reason why I insult you, Sam?

Racism?

 

[Uncle Sam]

I think it's racism, yeah. I mean, when was the last time your queen was on someone else's money?

 

[Murfish]

I'm a racist, so it is possible.

 

[Uncle Sam]

If I wore this on the street, people would likely presume I was a massive racist:

And if it weren't £17.99, I'd be tempted to buy it.

 

[Tastycles]

I like the attention to detail TNA have gone with. By attention to detail, I mean stealing the font off The Beatles' drum.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Today I learned that I'm not very good at apologising.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I just don't really do it, a bit like flirting really.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Frankly, I think me acting sheepish is apology enough.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

What do sheeps act like? So I can gauge how you were acting.

 

[Uncle Sam]

What do sheeps act like? So I can gauge how you were acting.

Erm, apologetic?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

It's clear now.

Don't try to stroke a lamb when you're drunk btw, they bite and then you'll spend the rest of your walk home sniffing your hand because of the odd smell. A bit like when you touch a lady.

 

[Uncle Sam]

A bit like when you touch a lady.

I can relate more to a lamb biting me to be honest.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I edited that from my original post.

You can have my girlfriend, I've gone off her.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'd like at least a brief description before I decline out of confusion and fear.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

She's old, like 35. She's a lawyer, she works next to my house, I do like convenience, it'll be really awkward (for her) when I dump her. She's blonde (not a natural) with a solid bosom. She like to hug, I don't. She likes to have sex with me in her dinner break, so I often got HMV around that time. And she's very serious, she wants me do be more productive.

 

[Murfish]

Jakey!

 

[Murfish]

Does she know about the tattoo parlor plans? That productivity right there. You're an entrepreneur.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Does she know about the tattoo parlor plans? That productivity right there. You're an entrepreneur.

She knows about my failed tattoo parlor plans. She's seen the empty shop and the dust that lives there.

 

[Father:_Polley]

I missed you Sam