Right, I’ve only got a few bits of feedback to give out this round, so I may as well get started with them. I’ve got Constantine, Hunter Jackson & then a couple I’ll throw in for the sake of throwing them in. Here we go then;
Constantine (Dave)
- You’ve used Johnny Scumm to open the RP with and obviously, with him being my character, I can judge you on how you’ve used him. I really like it, which is a good thing. It’s the first time somebody has used Scumm in their RP & its good stuff.
- Uh-oh, you’ve ignored Holmes? I like it.
- The obvious face turns works, strange that Scumm happened to go through his at the same time as you. Mind, yours is a bit more interesting right now
- Then he finds out he’s taking on Big Dave, this could be interesting couldn’t it? I really like your speech Dave, its one thing I’ve enjoyed reading in your RPs.
Now, how do I feel about your match? It’s a close call, but I think you could have this one in the bag.
Grade: B+
Now, I know I said I was going to just do feedback for Hunter Jackson, but that match that he’s in is basically a Rookie Four-Way. I say “Rookie” ‘cos its two newbies up against two guys who are yet to win more than one match and haven’t yet put that impact on WZCW at all. So I’m just going to start this in order of the RPs.
Joe West (Black Dynamite)
- I know I said I’d PM you this, but fuck it. It starts off mediocre and sort of just runs mediocre throughout. The little exchange with Becky is childish & just doesn’t need to be there.
- Your use of Kensworth doesn’t seem right; he seems too “street” all of a sudden. Also, West calling him a “prick” wouldn’t go down well with management.
- Why do you feel the need to mention the Mayhem title? You have nothing to do with it currently and should really be focusing on your match. If you’re already punching above your weight, who’s to say you’re even going to win this match?
- Then we move onto the mindless violence. You’re not meant to attack NPC’s, its just damn stupid. You’d be fired. Also, your use of Hunter Jackson is nowhere near good & again, West shouldn’t have hit him. You might be aggressive, but it was all uncalled.
- Overall, a “meh” RP. You could’ve done a lot better. I would suggest you don’t post them up so early & take some more time over them.
Grade: D-
Now we move onto;
Hunter Jackson (Milenko)
- This is the shortest RP of the group, but by no means does it mean it’s the worst one. Jackson is a strange character; it really is very “The Brian Kendrick” all over again
- “Man’s penchanct for natural goods”? I love that statement, it’s brilliant. To be honest, I love Jackson himself, he’s awesome already.
- The Buddha quotes, if used too much or excessively could become stale quickly, maybe hold back on them a bit.
- Your words on your opponents are all very smart, especially those of West & Bull. You could’ve said nothing about Blue Lightning, he didn’t RP!
- Don’t forget to read over your RP ‘cos there are a couple of little spelling mistakes in it, which do tend to throw people off if they’re getting into it.
- Overall, it’s a nice RP. It’s short, but sweet & gets over everything you needed to say for your debut. You could have made it longer if you wanted, but in all honesty, I don’t think it needed it.
Grade: C
Blue Lightning hasn’t RP’d, so it finally brings me onto;
Darren Bull (Aweome_Miz)
- First off, you were once again granted a 24-Hour Extension. However, after reading this, it looks like you threw it together in the last ten minutes of that extension. You have the whole week, then an extra day. Take a LOT more time to work on these things; it can make them so much better.
- If the Battle Royal was “yours for the taking” (does that make sense?), then why didn’t you win? It obviously wasn’t yours; you can admit you weren’t good enough. You were thrown out right away.
- The end of the interaction with Kensworth is weird, but a positive comes from Bull not wanting to hear his surname. Surely he’d have used a wrestling pseudonym to fight under, rather than using a name he never wants to hear again? Again, a positive, not a big one, but your use of Kensworth was at least better than Joe West.
- Not sure why Joe West is coming to visit, but anyways. “Fucking brick?” I’m sure you mean prick, keep an eye on your spelling. You use West exactly how Black Dynamite does, but I don’t really like how Dynamite does it, so it’s extremely annoying. I just realized you put “pre-modana” and I think I’ve just figured that you meant “Prima Donna”. Yikes.
- Overall, it’s possibly the best RP you’ve done so far. Is that saying anything? Probably not. Next round, try not to take an extension and start working on your RP as soon as you find out what match you’re going to be in. I cannot bring myself to believe that you’ve worked on that all week and needed an extension for something that’s not all that great.
Grade: D
Winner of the Four-Way: Hunter Jackson. His was the only RP that really hit a point with me and it was short and most definitely sweet. Good luck to you all.