RP Feedback Thread

[NSL]

Doug Crashin - Very solid first RP. I get the impression you have prior e-fedding experience, and you'd need it against someone like Ty. You gave a lot of insight to your character, and left a lot open for future RPs.

Ty - Excellent RP. You responded well to your opponent's RP, and furthered everything you have going on around you. Not much more to say than "Job well done."

Carmen Bratchny - Another great RP from you. I go into every one of yours waiting to be let down, and it never happens. You are one of the few that has a complete grasp of his character, and you make it shine every week.

 

[NSL]

Blade - That was either a really awesome heel turn, or a solid emotional face RP. Either way, I liked it, and didn't see any problems with it. Rush replacing Sanna was a pretty important switch last week, since it affects your title aspirations, so something like this was needed.

 

[NSL]

James Baker - This was another good RP, but it seemed all too similar to last week's. It seemed like you recycled the setting, which is fine, but a little close together. Also, hook me up with a number to Subway, so I can get a promotional deal

Baller - This was a good RP, and keeps up with the improvement you showed last week. Just don't kill it with a 2nd RP...Not being mean, just honest.

Big Dave - I'm a really big fan of your character, and this was another great RP. Don't really know what else to say...

Dr. Kurtesy - Honestly, I skimmed it, because it was really long winded. I didn't see any problems, but again, I didn't go word-for-word...

 

[Baller]

Dr. Steve Kurtesy: I honestly got bored by the time your character really got into talking, I was ready to close it out. I don't know if you were trying to be funny, but the stuff with bowen was not funny at all. It was a decent RP but it was too long for me

 

[NSL]

Criminal Karnage - Definitely a great RP. It just keeps adding to your heat, and it doesn't focus on the past with Blade as much as the others. It's time to start focusing on the future, and I love the way you played this whole RP out.

Matt Royale - This RP was good, but not outstanding. You definitely addressed the title and your opponents well, but there wasn't anything that jumped out with a "wow" factor. I'll be interested to see how you go forward with the character, which is very good.

 

[NSL]

William Teach - Quite frankly, you had a large task in front of you, trying to make up for the word wall that was Steven Kurtesy's RP. So, you made your own word wall. It was hard to read. I like that it was meant to be a narrative, but you should have had it listed as if a narrator was speaking, with more breaks. It was tough to read...

 

[Showtime]

Trevor Steel
Solid RP man. Recession sucks, and me suing your ass isn't helping. You're very good with dialogue between characters, you make it seem very real. The picture of you was hilarious. I liked the inside shots you took at Ace not showing up, and Zander and how his title reign pretty much went uneventful. Again, what I'm finding with your RP's is it's a little light talking about your match, but with the league, the storyline you and I have going on, Damien and everything else, you had a lot on your plate with this RP so it is forgivable. Your great at talking about issues, so you don't always need to talk about your match. Good job.

Doug Crashin
Welcome to the fed. Solid RP. Like the introductory. Recession as led you to return to the ring so that's a nice storyline you can work with and a good reason for you to return. The back and forth with you and Jason really shows a lot about your characters personality. I stated before about the characters bio, but I will comment you're an excellent attacker and you look for weaknesses anywhere. The ending was good, but not great. You really sold yourself well as a tough guy. I don't know how martial arts training lessens the amount of stitches (I guess tough skin), but to say you were unscathed in this match and then say you lost and received some stitches makes it contradictory. I like how you rolled out the many reasons your better, but I'm looking to see what you have more behind what you said. Anyone can come on here with the right gimmick and list half or more of what you said you had. Good RP and I can't wait to see what you bring next.

Ty Burna
Another poetic masterpiece. This weeks themes same as most weeks; pain, blood, and suffering. The fact that you can talk so much about just those points, mixed in with faults and vices about your opponent, and that they never seem to get old is a testament to your writing skills. I will admit "blood" started to get old, but that was because it was used 7 times, all bunched together. One thing I wish I had is the size of your vocabulary. Unfortunately I'm too lazy to pick up a thesaurus. As always good mix of description and dialogue. Excellent RP.

 

[NSL]

Ace David - This was unexpectedly short, especially following a no-show/loss, but it got the emotion out there, and shows that you can, and will, turn it around. i'll be looking to see where you go from here, and how it effects the Elite X League.

Heavy Artillery - As a team, I liked the RPs, and they showed some great teamwork. You guys definitely have an idea of what you're doing with your characters, and what you're doing as a team in the fed. Individually, they were both average, but what matters as a team is how they flow together.

 

[Leeds Guy]

Trevor Steel Vs Zander - I loved this RP, I enjoyed how you did the whole picture thing, and giggled at the fact he was selling pictures for money to pay for this upcoming trial. I liked how you acknowledged Zander as a former champ and you talked about whats been going on in WZCW lately like Titus' mystery attacker and Frankie Smith disappearing. I liked the end of the RP. It seems like all this is getting poor Trev down.

Doug Crashin vs Ty Burna - Sound RP. It gave us a bit of a look into your character without revealing too much information. I liked how you went through the Bio that WZCW had sent you. There was one problem I had though, I seriously doubt WZCW would send out a bio of peoples weaknesses, I don't think that there is anyway Doug would know that The Ouija scroll could perhaps control him. Overall all though a good introductary RP.

Ty Burna Vs Doug Crashin - I was intrigued from the opening segment. its a fantastic setting described brilliantly. It was a creepy RP, deffo gave me (an outsider having not known your character) an insight to what he is like. It was a good response to Crashin's RP, I loved the 'another gods gift to wrestling line' as there are so many about. As I got towards then end I got increasingly freaked out by it. Fantastic RP

Carmen Bratchny Vs Frankie Smith - I understand about you being pressed for time but that RP seemed to work well. It was never really explain why Carmen was in a hurry however. The rest of the RP was an average RP, perhaps more could have been written about Frankie's disappearence but its understandable with you having little time.

Mr Baller Vs Titus - First things first who was you talking to right at the start. Granted there was a camera there watching you walk down the corridor but it seemes weird to me that you would talk about Baker to yourself. This would have been better if Stacey had entered from the start. Probably your best RP to date though, albeit a little short for me. I liked how you are trying to prove yourself to everybody and get out of this comedic heel role that you are currently in. Also I thought your use of Stacey was spot on. Her opening line was exactly how I imagine her to be. Decent RP.

Blade Vs Big Dave - Nice start, I felt his mood. If that had happened to me I'd have reacted in the same way. I felt the intensity in his opening lines with Becky. I loved the comedy in the 'even you knew' part. Overall a good RP. What I liked most however was that you did NOT talk about your next opponent in detail and finished with the I'll probably get Reidar instead. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Big Dave Vs Blade - Great RP. All focused on the Titus incident, as you and Ace would be number 1 suspects. I liked how you switched your focus and blame to Blade going into his past. I also enjoyed the arrogence of you setting the pace of the EurAsian league.(even though its still all to play for :') I enjoyed the patriotism at the end as well, it made me start to like your character, in a smarky kind of way.

Karnage vs USA - Tribute to the Troops? something different to the usual locker room scenarios we are used to. I liked this RP, it was a great heel RP. It was predictable however, as soon as the trooper got in the ring I knew how this RP would end. Great finish reminding people that USA has never beaten you.

James Baker Vs Matt Royale Vs Excellency - Nice Opening, praising Baller for his efforts and not forgetting the shot Malik took. I liked how you mentioned how Excellency kept his job and how he had the potential to be up there with you, Titus and Steel. I'm fast becoming a fan of your character, each week adds something new to him and makes me like him that bit better, good RP.

Matt Royale vs James Baker Vs Excellency - Great heel RP. Just like Big Daves RP I loved the arrogence. It flowed off you from the opening lines. Like Baker you mentioned about Excellency only just keeping his job. I liked how you mentioned that Baker is actually quite good, It makes me think of your character as a realist who can appreciate talent when he sees it.

William Teach and Steven Kurtesy Vs Cory Payne and Byakko - I'm going to review you both in one as you are a tag team. Kurtesy that was a great opening paragraph, the detail you put in to the RP was amazing. Stacey was again played with perfection, however I did have a little trouble tuning into the RP after a while.I liked the intriging end as well, Overall a fantastic RP albiet a little too long for my liking. Teach your RP was fantastic as well, very different to what we normally get. Narrarating in the 3rd person. it was really well done. I am a fan of what you guys are bringing to the fed, both of you are excellent RP's and if I was going to show somebody how to write a great RP I'd show them either one of yours.

Heavy Artillery vs Second Coming - Again I'm going to review you both at once. Karzai, a nice opening with the big van and muffled music, you two guys just seem like such an odd couple amd I like how your translating that in your RP's. Again I have noticed a little goof in your RP however, how would 'David' know to call you Mr Karzai, there was no evidence to suggest he is a fan of WZCW to know who you are and Lights didn't call you Karzai in the Taco Bell at all. The rest of the RP was solid, It seemed well within your characters to discuss the match over a burrito and you discussed the match in great detail and it was obvious that nerves were present. Lights you followed up Karzai's RP well in an emotional RP and left it open for a suprise visit in the future from your father. all in all good RP guys.

John Smith vs Everest - I'm undecided on this RP, mainly because it didn't shed any light on who you are. The RP was the sterotypical heel RP and you threw in a comedy element to try and get it to work. Unfortunatly I don't think it did. I thought that there was something missing from the RP, and going against the World Champion it needed a bit more.

Ace David vs Scott Hammond - I liked how we caught Dave in the prediciment that he was in.
I liked how the RP was all over the place in regards to what you were going on about, it showed the pressure you are under in the rWo. I liked it. I can't think of much more to add.

Scott Hammond Vs Ace David - nice RP. I liked that you set it in London on Downing Street, and the talk about corruption was fantastic. You had a good response to Aces RP and set yourself you nicely for the match.

 

[NSL]

Chris Beckford - I like how you responded to your loss, and are keeping it fresh in your mind to go forward. You faced one tough opponent, and have another one ahead of you, and this was good.

John Smith - I like the RP a lot for a rookie, but it is against the champion, and would need to be top notch to earn a win. I don't see it here. It will do good to set you up for the future, and there's some good stuff to build off of, so don't get down if you don't pull off a surprise win.

Scott Hammond - I like the RP. It told a good story, and covered everything you needed to. The length was good, and there was just enough description and action to avoid it being a "word wall".

 

[NSL]

Titus - I loved this RP, as usual. It made me laugh, and seemed like a real TV segment. You covered everything in just the right amount, and kept it flowing well. Nice to see you back!

 

[NSL]

Rush - I like this RP. There's (practically) no dialogue, and you still managed to explain everything going on. This was a unique look at how to RP, and I like it. Love the character as well.

 

[NSL]

KillJoy - You explained your character well, but this seemed too much like an application RP than a match RP. You left out your opponent, and since it's your first match, you could have went in to what you expect to accomplish in WZCW.

Usually, a second RP is frowned upon, but this may be a case where it wouldn't be a bad idea. This was OK, but not a proper match RP, if it makes sense.

 

[Pimpin]

Here's some feedback.

Trevor Steele: Very solid RP as it was very enjoyable. I thought the picture of you was hilarious, but the whole selling pictures thing made it have more realism into it. I thought the whole addressing your opponent deal was a little on the light side, but with as much as Trevor has goind on right now, it's totally understandable. Your ability to talk about issues is outstanding as it definitely shows throughout your RP's. Again very solid RP & good job as well.

Chris Beckford: I liked how you addressed your loss against Karnage and it seems that your character really does have genuwine respect for his opponent. There's not many errors (if any) in this RP for me to critique & I really can't say anything other than that you did a good job with this RP. Again good job with the RP.

 

[NSL]

Corey Payne - I like this RP. You covered the tag team aspect of your character, and also talked about the KFAD Qualifier. I liked the amount of description you gave, and didn't make your team look weak while talking about your chances in the match.

 

[The Prototype]

Trevor Steel- Another great RP. You covered all of the bases: your match with Zander and involvement in the Elite X League, Showtime suing you, Damien, etc. I loved the pic of Steel selling pictures for five cents. The use of Klamor was also good. This was just an all-around great RP.

 

[NSL]

Garth Black - I loved this RP. Your character is one of the better ones in WZCW, and you keep raising the bar every week. This one was very funny, and something I'd actually pay to see on TV.

Phoenix - Another good RP. You both have a good idea of who your team is, and you work really well together. You use description well, and the dialogue flows.

 

[Viola Moonlight]

Returning the favours:

Chris Beckford, for a rookie who only made his debut recently (like me), you are really getting the hang of RPing and I can see that you are coping with your character well. These RP's are getting better by the week. I can't say much about yours really, except for two things:

- Now, I'm not sure if I am correct here but I am taking a punt... Rush is much better suited in being called a "veteran of the business" or "future legend," moreso than being called out straight "legend." Again, creative might have to correct me on this.

- There was a little bit of character development in there, which only gives a taste of Beckford. This is all fine and dandy at the moment, but when you start to pick up the pace and momentum to consistently challenge for titles or be involved in high-profile feuds, there needs to be more insight into your character. What you did here was good, but it may need a little more injection of character description.

Other than that, great RP man.


Mr. Baller, this is a much better RP than we have seen from you in recent weeks and I'm impressed. You played it as the underdog coming into the match, well done I might add. I like how you are referring to yourself as a Mayhem contender with having an element like a bat in the scene. Your attack on Titus and James were very good. Although short, it included what was necessary and was done well.

The only thing I have a confusion with is why you state this is a Mayhem Rules match when the title clearly states it is going to be contested under normal rules... unless creative gave the green light.

However, this was a great RP... nothing a comedic heel jobber would write, but a heel wrestler would.

 

[NSL]

Showtime - Absolutely hysterical...I loved it. The opening was great, and the transition through the middle was great. You covered everything you needed to, and then some, and played the cool, cocky, heel to a "T". Definitely interested in seeing this feud with Lars develop further.

Excellency - This wasn't a bad RP, but there was a lot of room for improvement. You did more character development, but almost left out your opponents completely, and it is a title match. It's a step up from last week, though.

 

[NSL]

Zander - Good RP. I like the length, I like the comedy, and I like you responding to my RP. You covered our match, and remarked on needing the league point, and nothing was left out. Solid job.

 

[Showtime]

Steven Kurtsey
I read it first when you first posted it and decided to make sure I re-read it know to see if my opinion is the same. It is so easy for me to remember. It was a good RP. Very well written. I think you got a little carried away at times with it though. Before I talk about the good things I want to point out a few things I thought work against it, from my perspective.

-The Length: Already mentioned, this was really long, with several parts acting as unnecessary filler. The bit with Cory Bowen for example. Stacey's freak out and the people out the window could've also been shortened. Not that any of these parts weren't well written, they were and if you felt them necessary then they were but it all definitely turns off the reader, the size that is. This sort of size is generally reserved for PPV or the end of a long feud.

-I thought your portrayal of Stacey wasn't very good. I couldn't imagine Stacey freaking out as much as you made her. You overemphasized all the stereotypes that have been given to her, bitch, doesn't care, snobiness, rudeness, anger. It didn't make sense how she could not care one minute and then full out freak out the next and back. Also, "the only thing that comes out of your mouth is comedic or a cocky, self-righteous rant!" that's about what 90% of the roster does, so I don't get why she cares when she acts like she doesn't care much. And the yawning... This RP was as much about how Stacey acted as it was you. This whole Stacey doesn't care thing and acts professional but really just bitches is really out of control. A look at her bio...

Stacey is a fiery blond with a passion for wrestling and the truth. She digs harder than any to get the real story out of her subject, and often, her brash and bold style rubs others the wrong way. She's usually callous with other's feelings, and asks hard questions, nor does she back down from confrontations. A tough as nails bombshell with little fear.

I see no hard questions, no fiery passion, no tough as nails.

-Lack of time devoted to your match. While I know much of what you said before was to build up to what you eventually said about your match, again it was all just so long I began that forget the point of it all.

All that said, there was also lots that was good. It was very well written. Your character came out looking stronger, it brought up a great deal of his past, added layers. It finally established some sort of connection between you and Sandy and a curiosity about will happen next. And it ended strong. We'll compare it to The Postman, good but far too long.

William Teach
When I imagine the descriptive dialogue being spoken by Morgan Freeman, it sounds amazing. This is a very different approach to writing an RP. Like Kurtseys, it was more a character building RP. We have a clear view of the thoughts that run through Teaches head, the dilemmas, the ADD, lol. The RP though, was not very centered on the match and its greatest weakness was a lack of direction. You picked yourself up at the end and finished strong, but all re see is the dilemma about whether to continue or not, something that may be reflecting your own lost interest in RP'ing. We'd hate to lose you man, while you may not be posting main event RP's yet, your still one of the more entertaining reads.

Corey Payne
A little short and light on the details. I'm not sure what to make of your "understanding" idea, seemed like a last minute plan. One note I'd like to make is that despite saying all the typical hard working face stuff, you seemed to come off with a little bit of arrogant heel tone. Just to let you know. I've seen much better from you, so I won't comment on how it can be better.

Blade
Nice heel turn. You got a good thing here to set up the turn, them replacing Sanna and doing it beforehand without telling you. The anger came out strong. It's clear that the most important part of this RP was to put you over as a pissed off and violent heel instead of the match, so the almost brief mention about Dave and how they'll change him anyway on you is forgivable. It won't win you the match, but this RP does make you look stronger. Who knows, with luck maybe they'll have an open battle royale King for a Day shot and you'll win that.

Big Dave
Good storyline RP. You had suspense in the RP right from the start and defended yourself convincingly. With Ricky gone and you and Ace barely hanging by a thread, we really see Dave as a legitimate contender, and with you and Rush as the only one with wins, a win here will put you in good position. I liked how you turned Myers words around and pointed the suspect possibly at Blade, and then quickly dissected your opponents history and why you will be the superior wrestlers. Great RP.

 

[Viola Moonlight]

Showtime, there is nothing I can say for about your RP as it was well done. However, considering that you are going to go at least two times against Lars Reidar, it might have been wise to tighten up the talk and save some for now, some for later. I know you needed something to beat Lars and the Show is all about you talking, but it could have done with a little bit of chopping.

I'm not sure whether you mispronounce peoples names on purpose, because that's another flaw I have found in the RP. Otherwise, great work.

 

[NSL]

Frankie Smith - This was a good RP, covering everything going on. You mentioned the disappearance, and solidified your place as the Elite X champ. Look forward to facing you, if Trevor wins the league, that is.

Everest - This was one of the better RPs I've read from you lately. You had a great attitude through the whole thing, and really made me hate the character. Considering your facing a rookie, it was good to see you didn't let up just because it could be viewed as an "easy win".

Lars Reidar - Stellar. Really not much else to see I may be blinded by the fact that Tarja is an absolute beauty, and I could be blinded by the fact you used Trevor, and used it against Showtime, but it was still really good. This feud should be amazing.

 

[Muffin Top Merkley]

Showtime: Great RP (as always.) You were able to bury your opponent, make yourself stand out, degrade all of your past opponents and continue to fuel the Showtime/Steele fire all in the same RP.

Lars you may have strength, but I have speed. You have size, and I have brains. We counter each other perfectly. I am nothing like you, however I am everything that you wish that you could be.

Throughout your RP, you were to counter any attack that Lars could have used against you, before he was able too. By doing this, you acknowledged of your weaknesses and strengths and it eliminated what Lars could say about you. You beat him to the punch so to speak.

Your new set is over-the-top, but it is exactly what Showtime needs to make Showtime stand out more. It matches your character and doesn’t feel out of place at all.

I have been hard at work getting the new set ready for its premiere later tonight. Trevor is going to turn white at the sight of it and the large bill that's going to be mailed to him. So no Leon, I haven't checked to see what lame ass competition Myers has lined up for me. I tell you one thing, I hope it's Lars. After what that dumb neanderthal did, ruining my eventual victory over the Elite X champion, I'd like to plant him back into that coffin. Lars, when you quit being scared and return to the land of the living, just know that the Greatest Eurasian champion ever will be waiting to further prove why he is the best. So Leon, what weak competition has Chuck lined up for me this time... Mr. Baller? Excellency? Byakko? or Steven Kurtsey?

To me, this part felt out of place in this paragraph and should have been relocated to later on in the RP. You didn’t know who your opponent is, but you put all of the focus onto him.

Felt like: A solid mix of The Miz, HHH, and The Undertaker.


Trevor Steele: First of all, you are the best person in WZCW’s backstage area. You always give feedback to everyone, every week. Something that I wish I was able to do! On behalf of everyone, thank you for your time and effort!

Using Klamor instead of Leon is a nice change. It’s refreshing to see Trevor interact with someone else.

I love how Trevor is so effected by not only what directly involves him in WZCW, but all of the WZCW storylines. Trevor Steele the wrestler, is the same guy as Trevor Steele the wrestling fan who gets indulged into the wrestling world as he watches it on TV at home. Trevor is just as much a wrestling fan as he is a wrestler.

I ended up reading your RP twice. The first read through I didn’t like it at all. It was my least favorite RP that you have done. It felt really jumpy to me. The second read through, a couple of days later, I enjoyed it. While it was not the best RP you have ever done, it still managed to accomplish a lot.

And a picture with Trevor Steele is worth WAY more than a nickel!

Steven Kurtesy: I definitely like Kurtesy much better than FalKon. You seem to have more of an understanding and easier time getting into the head of Kurtesy.

This RP was very long, which would be OK if it was all necessary. The Milenko part wasn’t needed at all, and was just there for the sake of you trying to be funny. Speaking of funny, there is a lot of times where I think you’re trying to be funny, but its not working. (The first half of your RP)

I’m not a fan of using short forms for names. You were too lazy to write Receptionist and Dr. Brooks? REALLY? But that is my own personal preference and it won’t make or break you in this match.

You started off with a really solid interaction with Stacey and Sandy. They traded dialogue well. But overall the way you treated Stacey was very hit or miss. Sometimes I thought that you nailed it perfectly like at the start of the sit-down interview in Kurtsey’s office. , other times it was a complete strike out (Example, the freak out). Again, I think you added the freak out part just to be funny and it didn’t pay off.

For such a long RP, it really didn’t cover a lot of the match. It added depth to your character and while normally that wouldn’t win your a lot of matches, due to your opponents this week, it might be enough to get by.

You clearly overlooked your opponents this week. And I think you got lucky that Byakko wasn’t able to get an RP in and that Payne’s RP wasn’t his best. If they both managed to RP, and Payne brought his A-Game, One of them would be walking into the King for a Day match.

Corey Payne: Overall your RP was really short. I think there was more focus on your detailing, rather than on what Corey is actually saying regarding the match. It would have been nice to see the interview be longer.

I haven’t been able to read every RP by you, but it seems that they always take place in your uncle’s gym. It would be nice to see what you can bring to the table when you step outside. Might be a nice change every once in a while.

The masked Byakko smiles and nods before walking off. Payne puts on a white Tapout shirt and wipes his face with a towel. Leon and Corey walk over to the office of Tyson James (Corey’s uncle and the owner of this gym) and settle into some chairs. The interview begins.

We know by now that Tyson James in Corey’s uncle. The only ones that may not be aware are the newer guys and if that’s the case, they should be reading the bios in their spare time and especially before they compete against someone. I know that I still do no matter who it is. Its redundant at this point to say who Tyson James is.

Is feeling the pain similar to feeling the Rush?

The person in this match gets put into the King for a Day match at Kingdom Come. It’s a shame that your partner wasn’t able to RP and increase your chances of being in that match. Alone, I don’t know if this RP will be enough to put you into the express lane to KC.

Throughout the RP, Corey was aware that even though he had a partner, only one person can advance to KC. With this RP, even if neither you or Byakko qualify, you could still remain a sold tag-team…that is whenever he decides to return.

James Baker: I HATED James Baker of the past!!! I found him juvenile & was only about the swearing. While swearing can be utilized & make a strong emotion within the RP. I always thought that yours was silly and James came across sounding like a 5th grader swearing because he thinks it was cool.

The James Baker of today is a MUCH BETTER talent. He’s matured a lot without losing any of his gimmick. I think the time away from RPing has def. made you a much better RPer and you deserve your spot now!

Even though this weeks RP was the best one that I have read from you, somethings just seem/feel odd. Example, the part where Becky came in asking for a sub. It felt out of place and would have flowed more if she was offered a sub or asked what was available. She seemed to know that Baker had tons of Subway in his locker room. There were a lot of run on sentences and the paragraph where you addressed Excellency was poorly worded & read funny. You’re point got across, but it was sloppy.

Also, your RPs always seem to follow the same formate. Becky finds Baker, ask a question, Malik guides Baker to the start of the answer, Baker answeres question, Malik guides Baker to second-half of the question, Malik answers, Becky leaves. It might be a good idea to slowly experiment with new style and techniques. It may help you improve some more on your writing.

But most disappointing, You seem to be the only person to not bust Baller’s balls. Lol! Well done!

Big Dave: I loved this entire RP & I love the way you write! The setting was very unique and well thought of. At first I was worried that the RP was only focus on who attacked Titus and not cover your match enough or at all. I was thankfully wrong. You were able to cover both perfectly and you did it in an almost subtle way that brought everything full circle. The paragraph that casted Blade as a possible suspect and listed potential motives was perfectly done! It was played out exactly as a heel would do!

I remember reading in previous feedback someone naming Big Dave as the top heel within WZCW. I chuckled to myself at first but after this RP I believe it. Big Dave is the Randy Orton of WZCW!

Chris Beckford: It’s called Soccer! Not Football! SOCCER! ‘Nuff said!

LOL. I wasn’t able to sit down and enjoy last weeks results, rather I had to skim through both shows so I know that I appreciated the recap of what happened between you and Karnage last week. The only complaint I have with your RP is something I mentioned in Kurtsey’s feedback and its only my personal preference. I don’t like initials in RPs. To me it looks kind of lazy. But that isn’t going to lose a match for you so if that’s what you like to do then I support it. Like I said its just not my style. And hey, I’d much rather see ‘CB’ and ‘SR’ than ‘Dr. B’ and ‘R’ (See Kurtesy’s RP for clarification)

 

[NSL]

KillJoy - You explained your character well, but this seemed too much like an application RP than a match RP. You left out your opponent, and since it's your first match, you could have went in to what you expect to accomplish in WZCW.

Usually, a second RP is frowned upon, but this may be a case where it wouldn't be a bad idea. This was OK, but not a proper match RP, if it makes sense.

I like that you added a 2nd RP, but you really need to go through the non-wrestling character roster, ans learn the interviewers names. Also, the formatting is a little distracting to read through. You can do the "speaking" parts in color, and they'll stand out without being distracting.

You did refer to your opponent here, but it may be a little late, as the shows usually get posted on Fridays and Saturdays.