I haven't done one of these in a while because I've been super busy Monday nights and haven't been able to catch RAW, but I'll finally be able to watch tonight, so I figured I'd do a review.
RAW kicks of with HHH, and the crowd seems way into it. Way to represent Jersey! He poses for a while, and then tells everyone that he's the only guy there. HHH decides to play the role of anchorman. He's not so good at it. I do like HHH though, I think he's probably the best guy on the mic in the WWE. the entire RAW roster is stuck in Europe according to HHH. He's doing a really good job keeping the fans entertained. So no RAW superstars, but we will be getting a show that meets our highest standards? I'm anticipating Smackdown live.
HHH gets interrupted by the SES! Festus and Sareena are carrying weapons of sorts... what's going to happen here? I'd be very down for a HHH-CM Punk match tonight.
CM Punk makes fun of Jersey, ouch. HHH is on tonight, he's funny. A lot of shots at CM Punk's hair. Good exchange between CM Punk and HHH, but a bit lengthy, I guess they really don't have anyone there tonight. HHH hits the crowd, wastes more time, but it's still really fucking funny. Hey! Lillian is here! CM Punk is cowering out now, great heel work.
Ambush on HHH, he fights out, but the SES gets the better of him. Finally some action! They want to shave his head, that's what those weapons were! Rey Mysterio out for the save. Drop kick to CM Punk while holding the razor, and then hits a headscisors take down on Festus. Mysterio teases shaving Punk, but only shaves off one lock. Still a very foreshadowing segment, and I'm digging tonight's start to RAW.
Cena is going to talk next, I'm assuming via satelite. Based on the length of the opening segment and the fact that the show is going from a talking segment to another talking segment, I'm guessing there's going to be little in the way of wrestling tonight. Hopefully they do a lot of segments with the SNL crew. They're used to the pressures of a live show, and Kristen Wigg and Will Forte are hilarious.
Oh look, a match, Drew MacIntyre vs. Matt Hardy.
Matt Hardy starts the match off looking strong, but the fight goes outside the ring where it turns in MacIntyre's favor. After maintaining the advantage for a while, Hardy manages to regain control for a short time but loses it after MacIntyre reverses a Twist of Fate. The two accidently headbutt which knocks Hardy out of it, and MacIntyre capitalizes with a power move which he uses to win the match. A quick, light, but decent match. I'm sure many of the matches are going to be like this since Smackdown is shooting tomorrow night. Not much to say about this match, I'd give it a 5/10
I honestly think if Hardy got back into shape, he could make another serious run in the WWE. As for MacIntyre... they gotta put him back on the mic and give him that sort of "Chosen One" personality. Push home the fact that Vince McMahon personally picked MacIntyre to be the next champ, that will piss people off more than just beating midcarders like Matt Hardy.
John Cena interview. They're just talking about the situation mostly and Cena talking up his match at Extreme Rules. Very short segment, and it's over.
Vladamir Kozlov is in the ring! He wants King to read his statement. Has this guy been involved in a single storyline where he doesn't demand better competition? New Jersey is taking a lot of shots tonight. MACGRUBER IS OUT! And the crowd goes mild. He and Kristen Wigg are carrying American flags and walking around the ring. They announce the main event, CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Jericho vs. HHH, Rey Mysterio, and Edge! I'm not a huge fan of these "Pack as many stars into a match and hope it goes well," type matches. MacGruber names some famous New Jerseyans, one of which isn't real, and another one isn't actually from New Jersey (Snooki is from Rhode Island I believe). Will Forte makes fun of Kozlov's mom's uterus. Will Forte announces a match, R-Truth vs. Vladamir Kozlov. Meh, not to excited about that one. Holy crap, the stage exploded, and there are only a pair of smoking shoes left. This is just silly. It's changed from R-Truth vs. Kozlov to MacGrubber vs. Kozlov. It got worse.
Dude, this show is going downhill fast. Up next is a satellite call with Randy Orton. There has been one match in 45 minutes, and it lasted about 3 minutes.
Another joke segment, HHH and MacGruber are talking. He peed his pants... hilarious. Kane also got involved. Great, just great. If I had to rank that segment out of 10, I'd give it a half a star.
Randy Orton talks- I don't get why people like him so much, I find him so boring. He basically says he's going to beat Jack Swagger, and that's it.
We are approaching the one hour mark with only one wrestling match. Very lame.
Jack Swagger comes out, I think to talk... Yup, he has a microphone. This is PAINFUL. How many times can they say the same thing? Jack Swagger issues an open challenge. Ten bucks says Santino accepts. Oh wait, quite the opposite... it's The Undertaker! I'll say it because JR can't, business is about to pick up! And this match is actually going to happen!
Undertaker Vs. Jack Swagger
A striker vs. a wrestler, this match has some god potential. Jack Swagger starts off strong, knocking Taker down with a shoulder block, but Taker answers with a shoulder block of his own, and he starts going to work. Taker goes old school.
Michael Cole: This is called Old School!
No shit Sherlock. God he pisses me off.
Swagger manages to hit a scoop slam on Taker that he follows up with a pin. Taker rolls out of the ring, and Swagger goes to follow him, but is met with Taker's fists and a trip into the steel steps. Swagger manages to reverse an Irish Whip into the steel steps himself. Swagger taunts the crowd as Taker makes his way back into the ring. Swagger drags Taker into the ring and starts working on his legs. Taker gets beat up on a little, but throws Swagger out of the ring by his tights. Undertaker hits a leg drop on the apron, gotta love that move. Taker hits a snap suplex, goes for a pin, and gets two. Rest hold and commercial.
We get back and Swagger is back to working on Taker's legs. Taker kicks Swagger out of the ring, but Swagger goes back to work on Taker. Pin attempt, but Taker kicks out. Taker breaks out of a hold my hammering his thigh against Swagger's face, never saw that before! The two exchange punches, and Swagger takes a brief advantage before eating a DDT from Taker. Taker goes for the pin, but Swagger kicks out after two. Swagger goes face first into the turnbuckle, takes a leg drop, and then kicks out of a pin attempt by Taker. Taker calls for a chokeslam, but Swagger fights out. Taker nails Swagger in the head with a heavy fist but Swagger hits a DDT. Swagger goes for a pin but Taker kicks out after two. Swagger goes for that move he goes where he goes for a splash off the second rope, but Taker counters that into a chokeslam. Taker picks him up and Taker hits the Tombstone Piledriver, and gets the three count. Taker wins, no surprises, but it was a good match. I'd give it an 7.5/10.
Jericho is talking to the SES, bossing them around. Jericho and MacGrubber have a little chat. Jericho sings a little song to the tune of MacGrubber. He still has some comedic skill apparently. Jericho tells MacGrubber to slap Kozlov. This will be fun... Jericho showing some shades of Y2J, I miss that guy.
Kozlov vs. MacGrubber
MacGrubber walks to the ring exuding confidence. MacGrubber extends his hand for a hand shake and then slaps Kozlov. Didn't work. Kozlov headbutts... headbutts... and headbutts. Some other guy comes out and says the match should be stopped. It's now a handicapped match, so it's MacGrubber and... Khalubber... who is really The Great Khali. Khali is dressed up in a blond wig and a tan vest and plaid. Michael Cole points out that his hair looks like Tina Turner. This match actually just got worse with the insertion of Khali. Kozlov tries to leave, but is followed out by Khali. The match ends with a double count out, but MacGrubber is still pronounced the winner.
This match isn't even worth rating.
HHH, Rey Mysterio, and Edge vs. Y2J and the SES
Shamus tells HHH he's going to kick his ass, and then he punches the PA.
The faces start off by dominating, including Rey going to work on Y2J, and a big brawl, and a suicide dive taking out all three heels. Commercial.
We come back and the SES is ganging up on Rey. Gallow goes to work dropping legs and elbows on Rey. Jericho comes in and Rey picks up some steam, eventually hitting a springboard moonsault on Jericho. Edge and Gallows are tagged in. Edge goes to work on everyone in the ring, ripping Gallows apart. Edge sets up for a spear. He starts to run, but his tripped by Jericho out of the ring. Jericho tags in and starts stomping away at Edge who is selling an ankle injury. CM Punk tags in and continues to work on the ankle. Gallows comes in and jobs to Edge who hits him with a flying drop kick out of the corner. HHH is tagged in as well as CM Punk for the heels. HHH goes to heavy work on Punk. Double A Spinebuster on CM Punk. He sets up the pedigee, but gets clotheslined by Gallows. Mysterio takes out Gallows, who is in turn taken out by Jericho, but Jericho is handled by Edge. Mysterio gets back in the ring and hits the 619 on Punk. Punk staggers over to HHH, who hits the pedigree and gets the three count.
Pretty wild match, and a decent ending. I'd give it a 6.5/10
Overall, this RAW wasn't really worth watching, but it was okay for a show they clearly threw together. I'd give it an overall of 6/10. I'm excited for the Draft next week, and I look forward to covering it.