Oh yes. Oh yes. I've said that like 50 times since Raw started. It's not because I'm going on a "imitate KB/Paul Bearer" kick either. It's because this Raw has been kickass.
Edge and Jericho Opening Segment
Jericho got some heat, as he always does. Great promo, then Edge comes in, gets the spear, and announces that he is getting vengeance on Jericho and his smarky little mouth. Chalk up Jericho/Edge for Mania, friends.
Short, simple, and to the point.
John Cena and McMahon promo
Lulz. Okay, besides Cena being an awesome face against McMahon's amazing heel work, this promo was awesome and hilarious at the same time. The exchange of:
John Cena said:
Vince McMahon said:
I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!!
made my night. Anyway, Cena vs. Batista tonight to decide if Cena gets his rematch. Great segment, easily did its job.
Diva's Championship Finals
Maryse is hot, and is our new Diva's Champion. It was short, and it wasn't horrible. Boring, but not shit. And this was the one boring match of the night, so that tells you something.
Ehhh....I didn't hate it.
Jewel Slaps Jillian
Okay, so Jewel is fucking hot. It's just not fair when Jewel and Kelly Kelly are in the same room. You don't know who to look at. It's even worse when Kelly Kelly is in pig tails and booty shorts. My god. Either way, it did it's job. It got Jewel and Ty Murray over as face guest hosts.
Better than the Divas match, worse than Cena/McMahon. Liked it.
Randy Orton/Legacy
Oh shit, Orton and a face turn. He actually
forgave Dibiase for betraying him. Legacy scheme after Orton leaves. Great, did exactly what it was supposed to do. It set the seeds for Orton to turn good guy on us.
Six Man Tag
Bourne did nothing, Yoshi did nothing, and Kofi did some shit.
Rhodes beat up Bourne, Dibiase beat up Bourne, then Orton kicked some people's faces in. Orton ends the match with DDTing Rhodes after he tags Rhodes in, then RKOing Dibiase as Orton tries to leave.
Hey! Bourne jumps really high! ...and he actually gets a pin. No FTS, this doesn't mean I'm going to draft Bourne for our Fantasy Wrestling League team. Fuck that bitch.
Liked it. I'll rank it higher than the promos before now because it was actual wrestling, and wasn't complete shit. Had me entertained.
Michaels and the Taker
First of all, AWESOME video package. /Orgasm.
Try this for me. Find a Youtube video of the promo. Turn around or turn off your monitor. Can you tell the difference between who's speaking? Exactly.
I say it's because HBK is losing his soul to the obsession of beating the Taker. You know, because I'm a Creative Writing major.
Great promo, and sets up Taker/HBK...only catch is that it's STREAK VS. MOTHERFUCKING CAREER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Balls guys. HBK is retiring for 3 years after this match because he comes back as the Commish. Calling it.
Christian vs. Carlito: MITB Qualifier
Woot, Christian is our second newest Raw recruit, behind Yoshi Tatsu. The match was good, but apparently even the IWC Jesus Christian can botch a move. Carlito didn't look like complete shit, either. Apparently Carlito only looks good when he's an integral part of pushing a brand new WWE brand.
Diva Bullriding
Besides Kelly Kelly being so hot it's painful, this segment was painful for a little bit. Then Miz/Show showed up.
Jewel/Murray played very well against Show/Miz and this segment flourished with them. Jewel is a little cutie, and I love her. Show somehow stares down a bull and makes me laugh. A full grown man makes me laugh by staring down a mechanical bull. He hasn't lost it after all.
Really good segment. Haters shut yo mouth.
Miz/Show vs. MVP/Henry for the Tag Titles
Well, this wasn't that good. Better than the Divas match though. I still fucking hate that KO punch shit.
Bret Hart/Vince McMahon shit
Meh. Did it's job, and keep me interested. McMahon hinted at him being responsible for Hart getting hit by the car. Oh yes, the New Corporation is forming.
John Cena vs. Batista
Batista is such an awesome heel. I'll show you how.
Cena is in the ring: 10 pm.
Batista starts toward the ring: 10:01 pm.
Batista is in the ring and starts the match: 10:05pm
Batista gets DQ'd for kicking Cena in the balls: 10:07pm
Batista gets booed out of the building for being a dick: 10pm-10:15pm
Batista said nothing during those 15 minutes except:
When he was walking away from a prone Cena, and
After he got done with the 10th chair shot on Cena. And Batista was legit
hated the entire time. Sure, it had something to do with Cena's awesome selling, but only a select few people can make you hate him by grinning for 15 minutes and kicking Cena in the balls.
Score?
A!
This show was incredible. I liked it, hell. Even X liked it. This was a great show that tied up the loose ends from EC quite nicely. Smackdown can hit the ground running, and Raw has a good month to build their hella matches.